Private Confessions

By: Stacy L.

CATEGORY: UST, Romance

WARNINGS: Adult Language

COMPLETED: April 10, 2005

AUTHOR’S NOTE: This is the first installment of a series of stories revolving around the evolution of Daniel and Janet’s feelings that inevitably lead to a relationship between the two that goes beyond friendship. It’s my first attempt at a series like this, so I do hope you enjoy it. The series will eventually lead to intense sexual relations between the two which is why this part has been labeled as adult, but this installment also qualifies as a general fiction story thus the low rating of installment one. I do hope you enjoy the story! Any feedback will be greatly appreciated! Thank you!

I would like to extend a special thank you to Misty. If she hadn’t encouraged me to try my hand at this pairing then this series probably would never have been written. Thank you so much, Misty!

* * * * * * * *

He was asleep and resting quietly in the infirmary…again. This time he had only a minor injury but it was enough, enough to settle her decision to hold him overnight. The reason for his unscheduled, unplanned visit: he had blacked out. No one knew why. They never did, so she had been forced to put him through a battery of tests, tests Daniel hated more than anything to submit to but they were needed and they were necessary. People didn’t just black out for no reason. She had to run the tests, much to his chagrin.

When the tests came back she frowned not liking what she saw. He had blacked out for a reason, that reason being that Daniel had pushed himself too far…again. He had been working on a project last week that had taken a lot of time to complete, and had placed a lot of pressure on himself. She had lectured him about the dangers of overexertion, had told him that was where he was fast heading, but Daniel was stubborn and had refused to accept her diagnosis. Instead of stopping he continued to work neglecting important needs such as rest and thirst. Usually he managed to get by with little difficulty but this time he had gone too far in neglecting his needs, which landed him flat on his back in her infirmary suffering from exhaustion, fatigue and dehydration.

Since his arrival she had been spending a lot of time sitting by his bed finding that she was drawn to him and was drawing immense pleasure from simply watching him sleep. He was so peaceful in slumber. The tension that normally marred his face was presently gone, and he was calm and relaxed.

It wasn’t long before she felt a stirring within, a desire to be with him, to join him and become one with him. Since the moment when she had first laid eyes on him she had fought her feelings, denying their existence and ignoring the way he made her feel inside. He had been off limits, having recently suffered the loss of his wife and family she had kept her feelings for him quiet. She had convinced herself that they had no future that her feelings for him were wrong and inappropriate, and in so doing had managed to create the needed barrier between them that kept her at arm’s length. She had maintained that barrier at all costs, except when he appeared in her infirmary injured. It was those times her feelings returned to taunt her and she had to repeatedly fight against them. She had to convince herself they had no future and she had to believe it, but it was very difficult to maintain. Now, now she found herself gazing at him thinking of just how to say the words she kept silent for so very long. How could she tell Daniel of her feelings and better yet, should she even bother?

* * * *

He watched her in the darkness able to just make out her features. She was asleep now, had been for some time. How long she was there he wasn’t certain, but he knew it had been several hours. Why did she remain? Why did she sit in the darkness watching him sleep, and why did the realization that she had done so on many occasions excite him?

He smiled softly as she moaned before shifting in the chair and lowering her head to the bed where she propped it on her arms. He winced knowing that upon waking she would be stiff from sleeping in such an awkward position. He should wake her, but didn’t have the heart to. She was turned towards him her face now clearly distinguishable in the soft night lighting of the infirmary. She was beautiful, a vision of beauty. He wondered if she knew it. Did she know how beautiful she was? Had anyone ever told her? Did she have someone to go home to who left her know she was beautiful, brilliant and amazing? And why did that thought slice at his heart, the thought of her HAVING someone to go home to, someone that wasn’t him? Someone who unlike him had the courage to tell her how he truly felt about her, someone who wasn’t scared to sacrifice his heart for the love of the wonderful woman before him.

She deserved to be loved and cherished. She deserved so very much. She deserved the truth, to know the truth of his feelings for her, though he was certain she would reject him. She deserved the truth, the truth that he was to chicken to reveal. He sighed in frustration wishing he had the courage to speak those words to her and afraid he didn’t. He cursed his fears choosing to gaze at her instead of contemplating.

He wanted to touch her, to pull her close, to pull her into his arms and hold her. He wanted to kiss her and stroke her silky skin, to wake up to her beautiful smile in the morning and fall asleep to the sound of her gentle breathing. He wanted to feel her alive in his arms not the empty air and the image of her in his mind. He wanted to love her, to show her how much he cared, to share the rest of his life with her and to raise a family together. He wanted so much. He wanted too much, for though he desired Janet Fraiser he knew that she was too far beyond his reach. He knew that he would never be with her, not like that, and it greatly saddened him. He never expected to love again, not after Sha’re but found that there was one person who could set his heart to racing, one person who could move him in so many ways, one person he wanted so very much to love forever and she was beyond his reach. She would always be beyond his reach and it saddened him greatly.

THE HEART REIGNS TRUE

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