But Dreams Remain
By: Stacy L.
TABLE FIC PROMPT #66: Wrong
WARNINGS: Dark, Disturbing Imagery, Disturbing Scenes
COMPLETED:
AUTHOR’S NOTE: I
actually wrote this scene several years ago as part of another story titled
“Slave’s
* * * *
I can see you at night, but I don’t know why. Why do you disturb me so? Why do I continue to come to your master’s suppers when I am sickened by the amount of servants he has, sickened by the way he treats you? Why do I return time and again just to…watch you?
Who are you and why do you have such power over me? You are a slave, a branded slave, marked by your master. You are an animal yet I cannot forget you. I see you at night. You come to me in my dreams calling the name of a man I do not know as you warm my bed with your sensuous body. I know every inch of you, every little nuance. I know how you taste, how you smell, how it feels to lick and kiss every inch of your flawless skin.
I know that this life is not fitting for you. You are no man’s slave yet you serve your master, you honor him, you pledge your allegiance to him. You allow him to use you, to display you, to humiliate you for you know your place so well. You know what your station is in life, yet I know this is no life for you. You deserve freedom; you should be free and unmarked.
I see you rake your eyes about the room nervously slipping the tip of your tongue out of your mouth to stroke it across your bottom lip. You know what is expected of you and for a moment I see your spirit, your anger and your shame at having to remain unclothed while all others are fully dressed. You hate your present status but you can do nothing to change it so you pause. You hold my gaze longer than all others then you focus on your master. He nods slightly and you immediately lower upon hands and knees prepared to crawl to him as is expected of you, to crawl about like an animal to please him.
As I watch you crawl to your master on all fours I can’t explain the sudden outrage and anger I feel. I am saddened and angry that your master would force you to crawl about as if you are merely an animal, his pet. It is so wrong, so very wrong but you are a slave, a condemned slave and you are branded. A branded slave is no more than an animal yet to see you crawl about naked while all around you are clothed upsets me immensely. How could your master be so cruel and so uncaring? How could he allow you to be treated as an animal? How?
As you crawl to him my eyes never wander as I examine every contour, every curve of your voluptuous frame and again I hear your voice in my head so soft, so sweet: “Jack, Jack, I love you. I need you. Jack…”
I know how you speak though I have only heard your voice but once. I know how you sound when you are breathless with anticipation or blaming yourself for something you could not control. I know your voice, sweet slave. I know it and I can hear it, hear you speaking in my mind repeating words of love again and again.
Why do you disturb me so? Why do you a slave of the lowest rank, a branded slave, one who is no longer human…why do you haunt me so? Why do you call for Jack over and over again…and how do I know that when you call that name it is me that you are addressing?
As I watch the light play across your skin I again see you laying before me so open, so carefree offering me that sweet secret smile, the one meant only for me. That precious beautiful smile that is so rare to see upon your face. I want to touch you, my love. I ache to touch you, I long to hold you close and to kiss your nightmares away, kiss all of your insecurities away. I want to make you mine, sweet slave, but I cannot for you belong to another. You are owned and marked by another so I dare not approach you again. I shall remain trapped in need and hunger, burning only for you, always for you. I shall spend a lifetime entertaining fantasies of you and accepting the unexplained images that dance on the very edges of my mind lingering, refusing to die.
I moan softly as you lower yourself perching upon your bent knees holding your head to the ground allowing your master to comb his fingers through your hair, allowing him to treat you as his pet. You openly accept his touch, perhaps you may even crave it, crave to be touched and stroked so lovingly.
He adores you my young servant. Anyone can see how he dotes on you. He loves you sweet slave. He has fallen under your spell yet he can do nothing to change the course of your life, though I sense now that he wishes to alter it, to undo what he has selfishly done to you.
Many say that the day he branded you he seemed uncertain. They say his voice was gruff and his eyes full of sorrow. Many whisper that Lord Dryden was nearly brought to tears on that day as he applied his mark to your beautiful backside. You should have seen him. How he doted over you, wrapped his arms around your quivering body and crooned sweet nothings in your ear. How it crushed him to hear those soft utterances of pain and of anguish that you dared not announce, even while unconscious. His servants speak of his love for you. They say he treats you as his equal despite the brand that marks you.
My sweet slave does your master treat you well when the nights grow cold and dangerous? Does he treat you well when you are ill or in need of comfort? Does your master know how to soothe your many nightmares or how to rock you to sleep? Does he know the secrets of your heart, sweet slave? Does he know you? Does your master know you as completely as I do? Will he ever be granted your undying love and devotion or is that love and devotion saved, locked away for the one you call for each night in my dreams. Is your love locked away for the special man named Jack? Does he still love you, sweet pet, or does he no longer care for you since you have been branded unfit to be human? Could your Jack accept you back into his life even knowing that your status, your present station in life is that of livestock, of a pet, of an animal? Could he love you knowing that you follow the whims of another? Does he love you enough to accept you back into his arms knowing that you are now another man’s property? Could he ever find a place in his heart for you knowing that to sleep with you is to commit bestiality for you are an animal in the eyes of everyone. To sleep with you is to commit a grave sin. To sleep with you is to condemn one’s soul to everlasting hell unless they own you my sweet pet, unless they possess you and control you, unless you are theirs to do with as they please…unless you are their property.
What do you think about, sweet slave? When the nights grow cold and the hours long where does your mind journey? Do you sleep or do you lie awake staring at the night sky cursing your present life, cursing your own existence? Does it bother you to know that you are only property? Does it bother you to know that in this town you are an asset, you are Dryden’s property, an item, a thing that can be used or abused in whatever way he sees fit?
What do you think about as you rest upon your knees at your master’s feet? Does it humiliate you to know that you are naked, that you are nothing to those who now feast around you? Does it anger you to know that you are unimportant, that you have no rights in this city? Does it degrade you to know that you can no longer utter a word or even a sound for an animal does not speak? What do you think of while you attend your master, sweet pet? What thoughts swirl about in that head of yours?
I know that you do not just sit silently by. I know that your mind is always racing. You are always thinking about things, questioning things, searching for answers. Your mind is one of brilliance but does anyone now sitting amongst this table know just how brilliant a mind you possess, sweet slave? Do they know that you are a brilliant scientist who is so much wiser then your young years attest to? Do they know that you are a teacher of knowledge? Do they know how you crave knowledge? Crave to touch it, to read it and to hold it so close to you? What do they see when they look upon you, slave? I sense that they see nothing but an animal, a beast of burden, a creature that is damned, a being that is unworthy to stand upright and must crawl on all fours.
Does your master make you drink from a feed trough like all the other animals? Does your master make you crawl upon your hands and knees never granting you the right to rise above the floor? Does your master keep you muzzled and treat you as his pet? Does he make you sleep in the barn with all his other animals? What does your master do to you when no one is around? What does he make you do for him? How does he treat you, sweet slave?
They say your master is a just man. They say that you have somehow changed him. They say that he grants you many rights that are forbidden to you. They say he even has given you your own personal bedchamber within his palace walls. They say he clothes you in the late hours and that he honors you and respects you. They say he comes to you when you are in need and that he has ordered all others within his household to treat you as an equal. Is that true, sweet slave? Is it true that your master cares much more for you than he should? How does your master truly treat you? How do you serve your master? What do you do for him? Do you spread your legs for him and allow him to fuck you, to make you scream and to make you hurt? Do you beg and plead with him to please you? Do you call to him and seduce him, lure him into your bed where you allow him to ravage you, to use you as one would a cheap whore. Are you a whore for your master, pet? Do you allow him to use you, to prostitute you, to pass you about? Do you allow him liberties or do you fight him? Do you resist your master when he demands more from you then you are willing to offer? What do you do for your master, slave, what do you do?
You are a vision of beauty and innocence, sweet slave. Has anyone ever told you that? You seem so wise, wise beyond your years yet you seem so fragile. What would it take to break you, to shatter you? What would one have to do to you to destroy you? Why do I know that betrayal and cruel words can lead quickly to your demise? Why do I know that to turn your compassion against you will destroy you? How do I know your strongest weakness and your greatest fear? How do I know what terrifies you, what makes you scream, what makes you panic and what makes you cry? How can I know these things about you when I don’t know you? How do I know that you crave touch, long for it, need it but are too damned afraid to reach out and accept it as often as you should? How do I know that when you are afraid you wrap your arms about you and rock yourself? How do I know that you have known true loneliness in your life? How do I know that you have suffered so very much? How do I know all these things about you when I don’t even know who you are?
Again the images return of you lying before me moaning as I trail soft kisses from your throat to your ear. Again I see you thrusting your hips upwards as I suckle your ear. I feel the friction of our groins as they clash together and it nearly sends me over the edge. How do I know that you can lead me to the heights of euphoria and beyond? How do I know that you would feel so warm and inviting in my arms, that as I enter that sweet cavern of yours you will grip me tightly within and beg me, plead with me to go deeper, thrust faster, harder…how do I know what your sweet mouth can do to my every nerve ending? How do I know that you are a man full of passion and fire? How do I know the things that can turn you on and why do I always hear your soft pleas and endearments to Jack, over and over as you pant his name again and again like a mantra. You whisper words of love into his ears, my ears, and you tell me that I mean the world to you. You tell me that we belong together. You tell me that you are the other half of my soul, that you are my soul mate. Are you my soul mate my precious slave? Is that why I am so drawn to you? Is that why I can’t stop thinking about you? Is that why I feel as if I…love you?
You hold the answers within you yet when you look at me I do not see recognition in the blue depths of your eyes. I see confusion and I see hints, signs that I meant something to you but you cannot explain those emotions, those feelings just as I cannot explain them. When I look into your eyes and you gaze into mine it’s as if electricity jolts through me, leaps from me into you. There is heat in your gaze. There is desire, need, hunger…love. You love me sweet slave but you do not know me just as I do not know you. So how could we share this unexplainable feeling for one another when we know nothing of each other?
Why am I so drawn to you? Why do I feel as if I am lost without you? Why do I have this intense need to be with you always, to see you, to be near you? Why does it hurt me so much to see a muzzle secured in your mouth, to see a collar around your neck, the brand on your backside…why does it hurt me so to see you serving as Dryden’s slave? Why?
These are the questions that I cannot answer, my precious
slave. These are the questions that neither of us can answer yet we have a connection.
We are connected in some strange way. You feel it too. I know that you do. You
just refuse to accept it. You can’t explain how you a slave could be drawn to a
free man to a man you will never have. You cannot accept those dreams that I
know you also share. I can see that you have them too, fantasies, dreams…maybe
memories of the two of us together making love, sharing our lives with one
another…I know you see us together in your mind. You see us making love slowly
and passionately. You see us yet you refuse to accept those visions that your
mind has granted you access to. You cannot accept those visions because you
know that you are no longer human. You know that though there is something
between us, something unexplainable, something powerful, something…amazing you
cannot accept it because for you there will never be a chance at a life with
another for you are no longer considered a human being. You are an animal and
you know that the brand upon your pretty backside speaks of your low status in
life. You know that you can never have me or ever love me for I am human and
you are not so you silence those dreams and refuse to let them out. You know me
yet you cannot remember those visions, you will not permit yourself to remember
them because you know, you know that if I were to fall in love with you I would
be condemning my soul to hell and I know, somehow I just know that you could
never live with the guilt, the guilt of knowing what lying with you will do to
me. You know that to lie with you, to love you will banish me from this city
and label me as condemned. You know that I cannot love you for if I did then I
would be in love with a beast and those who mate with beasts are cast into the
fiery pits of hell…
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