A Rediscovered Christmas
By: Lionchilde
CATEGORY: Alternate Universe, Humor
WARNINGS: None
AUTHOR’S NOTES: This is a Christmas series set in my Rediscovered Hearts AU, and takes place about 10 years after Beachhead if Vala hadn't gone to the Ori Galaxy. Jack's retired and both couples are married with young kids awaiting Santa’s arrival. Written for scifi_five.
AUTHOR’S WEBSITE:
http://so-out-of-ideas.livejournal.com/
CHAPTER 1: The Santa Trap
Daniel and Nick spent a good ten minutes with their backs
pressed against the side of the house before the older man made a dash for the
back door. Laden with packages, Daniel could barely follow his grandfather's
progress. He stood holding his breath, half certain that Vala
would out-smart them again. Last year, she'd hidden in the bushes by the
driveway and popped out while they were unloading the car. The year before
she'd leaned so far out of the bedroom window trying to get a peak that she'd
slipped and nearly fallen out.
"It's clear!" Nick called in an over-loud whisper, gesturing for
Daniel to follow him. "They're in the living room."
He nodded, racing through the slick yard and up the back steps. He didn't dare
stop to even wipe his feet before hurrying across the kitchen. Even with Nick
to run interference, he wasn't sure that he was going to make it up the hall to
his office until the door had clicked safely shut behind him. Vala would know they were home, though, and it wouldn't
take her long to figure out where he'd gone. He hurriedly stowed the gifts
behind ceremonial shield that had been waiting to be hung on the east wall for
a month, then slid out into the hall again, locking
the door behind him.
As casually as he could, he made his way back out to the living room, where his
jaw dropped at the sight of his wife. Vala was
perched on Mitchell's shoulders, humming under her breath as she arranged a
string of Christmas lights.
Daniel shot a questioning glance at Nick, who was watching the scene in silent
amazement, and received only a shrug in response.
"Uh…honey, what are you
doing?" he asked finally.
"Hanging lights, darling, what does it look like?" she replied with a
gleeful grin. Her hand drifted downward and she wiggled her fingers
expectantly. "
"Vala, you're gonna
hurt yourself," Daniel began. "Mitchell, put her down!"
"She's gonna get hurt?!"
"I don't weigh that much," Vala grumbled down at him, then
busied herself with the lights again.
"You know, Vala, this is very reminiscent of the
way we met," Daniel remarked with a sudden smirk. "Except
I was in Mitchell's position and you were trying to beat the daylights out of
me."
"As I recall, I did beat
the daylights out of you," Vala replied,
casually resting her arm across
"That's not how I remember it," Daniel frowned.
"Of course not, darling, you just like to remember our first kiss and
block out all the violent bits," Vala nodded.
"But the kiss was violent! You head-butted me right afterwards!"
Daniel exclaimed, eyes widening.
"If memory serves, you quite liked it." Vala
said with smug certainty.
"I liked having the crap beaten outta me? Are
you insane? " Daniel shot back.
"No, I meant you liked the kiss," Vala
shook her head. "You really got into it. But then you called me a
fruitcake, so of course I had to get in the last word. "
"Yeah, well in the end, I did
get in the last word. I zatted you," Daniel
reminded her with another smirk.
"Oh, yes, I'd forgotten about that. That wasn't very nice, you know!"
Vala said sharply.
Daniel opened his mouth to reply, but before he could,
"Um, hey guys, I hate to interrupt this lively little walk down memory
lane, but could we please move it along? She's getting heavy! OOF! Vala, watch the foot!"
"Oh, sorry,
"Uh-huh. Riiiiight,"
"Anyway, why didn't you just use the ladder?" Daniel asked with a
sudden frown.
"YOU HAVE A LADDER?"
"We have a ladder?" Vala's eyes widened.
"Oy," Daniel gave his forehead a smack in
exasperation. "I'll go get it," he said, turning back toward the
hall.
"I don't know what he gets so upset about," Vala
remarked as he went, her tone quite obviously meant to be overheard.
"Everything that happened aboard the Prometheus was nothing but foreplay,
and he knows it."
"Getting the crap beaten out of me is a form of foreplay?" Daniel
spun around again.
"Guys…?"
"Of course it is, darling. Don't pretend you didn't know," Vala tilted her head coyly.
"Hey, I thought we wanted to get these lights up before the kids got back
from Sam's,"
"Oh wait," Daniel frowned, ignoring him. "Maybe that's why all
the women who chase me are always trying to kill me--or poison me--or get me
addicted to a sarcophagus... "
He trailed off, barely managing to conceal a grin at the murderous look that Vala shot him when he mentioned being pursued by other
women. "Really, Daniel, you--" she began,
but broke off with a shriek as
Daniel darted forward to catch her, and her arms wound tightly around his neck,
but neither missed a beat in the argument.
"Hey, where are you going?" Vala wanted to
know.
"If all you two are gonna do is fight, then I'm
going to get a sandwich. Holler when you're ready to get back to hangin' the lights. Or better yet, use the ladder next
time…"
* * * *
"That's the one Mommy wants, Auntie Sam!" Nicky exclaimed, pointing
eagerly at the most expensive crystal vase in the jeweler's display window. He
ran over, gesturing wildly for Sam and Manda to follow.
"Nicky, we don't have enough for that," Manda
sighed.
The five year old pouted up at his sister in so perfect an imitation of Daniel
that Sam had to hide a laugh behind her hand. This would be Nicky's first time
participating in the annual gift buying frenzy, and his enthusiasm was entirely
too comical to resist, even for the weary adults in the party.
"But, it's what she wants!" he insisted.
"Maybe Santa will bring it, Nick," Sam suggested.
"Yeah, Santa Dad," Manda rolled her eyes.
"What do you mean?" asked Sam with honest disbelief. She'd been told,
of course, about the boy in Manda's second grade
class who claimed that Santa didn't exist, but this was the first thing she'd
heard to indicate that Daniel and Vala's daughter had
started to subscribe to that theory.
"C'mon, Auntie Sam, if Mom gets that vase from anyone but Dad she'll rub
it in his face until next
Christmas," Manda replied.
Sam's eyebrows rose. "I didn't know Vala wanted
a vase at all," she said.
"They were fighting a couple of weeks ago," explained Nicky.
"Dad brought her roses but she was mad he didn't bring them in a vase. So,
then he brought her more and she was still mad."
"The vase wasn't expensive enough," nodded Manda.
"So, they brought us down here a few days later to get the Christmas card
pictures taken, and we passed this one, and Mom goes, 'Now that's the kind of vase a man gives his wife!' Then they started
fighting about the vase."
Sam raised her eyes to the ceiling and shook her head. "Come on," she
laughed, resting a hand on each of their shoulders. "I have to go in here
anyway and pick up General Hammond's watch."
The kids were happy enough to stare at the jewelry in the display cases for the
first few minutes, but the line was long. They started to fidget as Sam reached
the half-way point, and an argument broke out just as she reached the counter.
As near as she could tell, it concerned whether or not the Santa they were
going to visit here was, in fact, the real one. The debate degenerated rather
quickly into name-calling and poking, though, so she couldn't be sure.
By the time she had the watch, she had no idea what they were arguing about
anymore, but halted the fight with a sharp threat to cut the trip short without
seeing Santa. They continued silently glaring at one another, but trotted out
of the store after her. Whatever they were bickering over was entirely
forgotten once they reached the mall's North Pole display, where her son Carter
was already in line and Jack stood leaning tiredly on a giant candy cane.
"Hi, Mom!" Carter called, looking up from
his Gameboy as Nicky and Manda
ran up to him.
Sam shifted the bags she was carrying and freed a hand to wave, then trudged
over to drop them beside Jack. His arm automatically slid around her waist, and
she lowered her forehead to his shoulder. "Did you get it?" she
whispered.
"No, it was sold out," he sighed in response.
"Already?" Sam's eyes widened. She
straightened and pressed a hand to the back of her neck. "What are we gonna do? That game is the only thing he put on his
list."
"Christmas is still a couple weeks away," Jack said, though a shake
of his head said he wasn't sure they'd find it either. "If I gotta, I'll camp out at the toy store. Bring T with me to
fight off the old ladies and housewives."
"Well, hopefully, it won't come to that," Sam laughed.
"Did you get the watch?" Jack asked.
"Mmm-hmm. The engraving
is perfect, too," she nodded.
"Great. Now all we gotta do is sneak it into
"Why don't we just give it to him at the Christmas party?" Sam
suggested.
"Where's the fun in that?"
* * * *
The wad of cookie dough was out of her hand before Vala
even saw Daniel step into the kitchen doorway. Manda
let out a giggling shriek and ducked, allowing the goop to smack her father
squarely in the face. Both kids' eyes darted toward Vala,
and their mother gulped fearfully as Daniel reached to wipe the gunk off his
face.
"Uh oh…" Nicky whispered, dropping the half empty bag of flour he'd
been wielding and scurrying down off the table to stand beside Vala.
"H-hi, Daddy…?" Manda squeaked as she
leaped off the counter.
Daniel said nothing for a long moment, then licked his lips and nodded to
himself. "Tasty," he said, continuing on his way to the refrigerator.
The kids watched him stand there for a while, then turned questioning eyes back
on Vala, who's mouth was
hanging open in amazement.
She shrugged, mouthing a silent, "I don't know," and then bit her lip
as Daniel turned back to them with a bottle of coke dangling lightly between
his fingers. He still said nothing, crossed back to her, and then smiled as he
reached with his free hand to brush the flour from her cheek.
There were still a few lingering bits of dough on his lips, and she grinned as
she leaned forward to kiss them away. "You missed a spot, darling."
* * * *
Daniel stuffed the half-wrapped vase back into the shopping bag as soon as he
heard the doorknob rattle, but the bag itself toppled forward, landing behind
his desk with a crash. Vala's eyes widened at the
noise, but he casually kicked the bag further under the desk and smiled up at
her.
"Hi."
"Working hard?" she smiled as she slid past the door with a mug in
each hand.
"Mm," he said, feigning disinterest. He turned to the book he'd left
open in front of him, and she sauntered across the room to slide onto the edge
of the desk.
"Brought you some Christmas cheer," she winked, offering him a mug of
eggnog.
"Thanks," Daniel said, frowning in a show of concentration over the
book. Vala set the mug down and leaned forward to
peer under the desk, and he jerked upright. Planting an elbow on the desk, he
shifted to the side and rested his chin on his fist, effectively blocking her
view.
"The kids are asleep," she remarked just as nonchalantly.
"So soon?" Daniel asked, eyes widening
slightly.
"I think seeing Santa wore them out today," Vala
nodded.
"Wouldn't have had anything to do with the food fight their mother
initiated after dinner, would it?" Daniel's eyebrows rose.
"Me? Hey, that was all their idea," Vala
insisted.
"Of course it was," Daniel gave his head a fond shake.
"So. Miracle
on 34th Street is coming on," she grinned.
"Vala, we've seen that a hundred times,"
Daniel reminded her with a sigh.
"So?" she challenged. "Come on, darling, it's snowing out, both
the kids are sound asleep. It's the perfect night to cuddle under the covers
and watch Christmas movies."
"I don't…like Christmas movies…" Daniel said lamely. The truth was he
would much rather have been upstairs watching the movie with Vala, but her gifts had to be wrapped and driven to Cam and
Teal'c's for safekeeping. She knew that, of course,
but neither of them would let on.
"You know you want to," she said mischievously.
"No…no, I don't," Daniel lied, waving a hand at the book in front of
him. "I need to finish these translations."
"Daniel," Vala said, her tone becoming
suddenly dangerous as she leaned closer. She stopped within an inch of his
lips, and he could feel the warmth of her breath as she continued, "If you
don't come watch this movie with me tonight, I just won't give you your
Christmas present."
"You…what?" Daniel's eyes widened.
"You heard me," Vala smirked, leaving a
light, teasing kiss on his lips.
A pleasant shiver passed through him, and he wet his lips, leaning forward for
more, but she pointedly turned her head to the side. Slipping off the desk, she
started for the door, throwing over her shoulder, "The movie starts in ten
minutes, darling."
"All right, all right," he rolled his eyes. "I'll be up in a
minute."
She'd reached the door by then and paused, giving him a long look. "You
promise?"
"Yes, Vala. I
promise," Daniel smirked.
He waited until the door had clicked shut and her footsteps faded up the hall,
then dove under the desk to retrieve the shopping bag. Inside, he found a long,
cracked line running down one side of the vase, and the neck shattered
completely off. He closed his eyes and let out a heavy breath, running a hand
over his face.
"Now what am I gonna give her?" he
muttered.
He sat with his head in his hands for several minutes, then
looked up with a start as he remembered the necklace. It was an Egyptian
ceremonial piece that had been part of Catherine Langford's collection, and Vala had had her eye on it for years. The first time she'd
seen it had been during the kor'mac affair, and she'd
told him impishly that it would look wonderful with her pretty Goa'uld
bracelet. He'd had it in his office then, but moved it as soon as he could in
order to avoid a permanent disappearance. Since then, the hiding place had shifted
several times, thanks to his wife's propensity for sniffing out valuables, but
it was currently residing his desk drawer.
Daniel let out a gusty sigh. The heavy, jewel encrusted artifact was worth a
small fortune, and it wasn't as if she could wear it publicly. Although, the
more he thought about it, the more he realized that she would probably wear it
around the house, just to remind him that she owned it. That, of course, would
be if it didn't end up traded on some interplanetary black market. Hopefully,
though, the fact that he'd given it to her for Christmas would prevent that. Vala got surprisingly sentimental about things like that,
and her enjoyment of this particular Tau'ri holiday was almost as fun to watch
as their children's.
Smiling to himself, he got up and pulled the desk chair into the center of the
room, then stepped up onto it to remove the key to his desk which was hidden
behind the loose panel in the ceiling. He cast a nervous look at the door as he
walked back to the desk, certain that Vala would be
back in soon to see what he was doing. When he still didn't hear her footsteps
approaching, he unlocked the drawer and carefully set the relic on the desk.
"Daniel?" Vala called from the hallway.
His mouth popped open and he sprinted across the room as the door opened.
Carefully positioning himself in the doorway, he smiled and said,
"I'm--just finishing up, I think I'm really on to something here."
"Come on, darling, the movie's starting," she pleaded, taking his
hand.
"I'll be up in a minute…don't--don't look at me
like that, Vala, I will," he promised,
attempting to slip back and pull the door shut with him. Vala
deftly slid in with him, though, and produced a red Christmas bow from behind
her back.
"You know," she smiled, coiling her other arm over his shoulder to
cup his neck in her hand. "If you really don't want to watch the movie,
you could always unwrap me."
"Wha…?" Daniel gaped as she planted the bow
on her head.
Vala's smile became distinctly predatory, and she
pushed him back, guiding him unerringly toward the desk. "You could start
with the bow. Then just work your way down."
"Sounds like fun," he admitted, smiling a little.
"Does it?" she asked as the backs of his legs touched the desk. She
gave his chest a playful shove, and he sat back, pulling her with him.
Their lips were about to meet when a loud and unmistakable crunch told him
exactly what he'd just sat on. He winced painfully, and Vala
pulled back in surprise, then tried to peer around
him. "What was that?" she asked.
"Uh…what was what?" Daniel asked.
"Something just crunched,"
she replied.
"Oh…um…" Daniel shrugged, pulling her down into a kiss.
"Mmmm," Vala's
arms slipped around his neck again, and he pushed himself to his feet, now
backing her toward the door. She
resisted briefly, still not having forgotten the noise, then decided to
concentrate on him instead…
* * * *
They never did watch Miracle on 34th
Street that night, but it snowed again on December 23rd, and Vala insisted that Daniel rent the movie and watch it with
her. Before they could do that, though, Vala had to
test her Santa trap, which required that Daniel willingly stand under a net at
the kitchen table and pick up a cookie, knowing that as soon as he did so, the
reduction in weight on the plate would cause the net to drop on top of him. She
insisted to the kids that this year the trap would work,
and Daniel wasn't sure whether they were more excited by the prospect of waking
up on Christmas Morning to find Santa Claus in their kitchen or by the sheer
humor of watching the net drop onto their father. It was almost eleven by the
time they were able to induce Nicky and Manda to
sleep afterward, and Nick had to resort to threats of stockings filled with
coal to do it. Then, they had to re-rig the net, which took another thirty
minutes, so it was with a grateful sigh that Daniel finally dropped into bed.
Vala put in the DVD, then
scurried under the covers with him. She shifted and fussed for a few minutes,
then settled with her head on his shoulder as the previews ended. Daniel
endured her antics with a long-suffering sigh and hid a smile against her hair.
The approach of Christmas still brought moments of loneliness for him, but Vala somehow eased them without ever saying a word about
his parents. He hadn't really been lying when he'd told her that he didn't like
Christmas movies. The sentimentality of them had a way of exacerbating the private
doubts and sense of loss that hit him at this time of year. With her arms and
the warmth of the covers wrapped around him, though, he had to admit that there
was nowhere else he wanted to be.
"I think the trap is just perfect this year," she murmured happily.
"Vala, why do you put so much work into that
thing?" he asked. "There's no such thing as Santa Claus."
"Well, I know that and you know that, darling," she smiled, raising
her head again to look at him. "But Manda and
Nicky don't. And I hope they won't…not for a long time."
"Me too," Daniel smiled, kissing her forehead. She settled her head
on his shoulder again and turned her attention to the movie, but it wasn't ten
minutes later that a tremendous thud reverberated through the ceiling.
"What was that?" Vala cried, jumping back.
Daniel looked up, then turned to face her.
"It…sounded like it was coming from…"
"…the roof?" she gulped.
* * * *
As he reached the top of the ladder, Daniel's jaw dropped. Vala, already on the roof, reached
back to grab his arm to keep him from toppling backward. They stared at
each other in the glow of the blinking North Pole they'd erected a few weeks
earlier, and Daniel slowly made his way onto the slick surface.
"Ah, Daniel, be careful there!" laughed an unmistakably jolly voice.
The red-suited figure leapt down from the sleigh and clomped over to them,
absently patting each of his reindeer as he passed.
"Um…S-Santa?" Daniel stammered.
"Of course it's Santa, darling! Who else would it be?" Vala grinned, having recovered from her shock. She peered
over their guest's shoulder, and her gaze settled on the equally recognizable
red-nosed reindeer leading his team. "Oh, and
look! Is that…?"
Santa nodded, giving a hearty ho-ho-ho in response to the half spoken question.
Rudolph himself stretched out his neck, edging slightly closer. Vala looked nervously toward Santa, who waved her toward
the deer. She grinned again and half-walked, half slid across the roof until
she reached the sleigh.
"Oh, he's so adorable!" she
squealed, throwing her arms around the deer's soft neck.
"Ho, ho, ho!" laughed Santa again, then
turned to Daniel, who was still hugging himself by the ladder in an effort to
keep warm.
"Aren't--aren't you a day early?" Daniel asked dubiously.
"This is just a little practice run," explained Santa. "We make
several runs throughout November and December. Helps keep the deer in shape.
We've got a lot of ground to cover on Christmas Eve."
"Right…" Daniel eyed him skeptically.
Santa sighed in disappointment. "You still don't believe in me, do
you?"
Feeling his face redden, Daniel lowered his gaze. "No…I do…" he said
uncomfortably. "It's just that--I--um--"
"It's all right, Daniel," Santa nodded sadly. "Right now, I need
you to go down and call Sam."
"Sam?" Daniel looked up in surprise.
"Sam O'Neill?" Santa prompted.
"I know, I meant…why?" asked Daniel, wrinkling his brow.
"I'm having a little problem with the sleigh's guidance system. I tried to
make it over to the O'Neills', but I didn't think we
were going to get there. I can't take chances this close to Christmas
Eve."
"Guidance
system?" Daniel echoed.
"Yes," Santa nodded. "We've been fully automated for about
thirty years now. Of course, I still hitch up the team. It just wouldn't be
Christmas without them."
"Oh. Of course not," Daniel nodded, giving his head a puzzled
scratch. "Lemme--lemme go call Sam."
* *
* *
"Who is on your roof?"
Sam asked again.
"Santa…?" Daniel repeated.
"Santa Claus?"
Sam persisted.
"No, Santa Jones," Jack spoke up beside her.
Sam leaned over to give him an absent swat, then swung
her legs onto the cold floor of the bedroom. "And he wants what,
Daniel?"
"The, uh, guidance system on his sleigh is malfunctioning," Daniel
replied miserably. "He says he needs you to come help him fix it."
"Daniel, where's Vala right now?" Sam asked
worriedly.
"She's on the roof," Daniel sighed.
"What's she doing up there?" Sam's eyes widened.
"Well, when I left, she was hugging Rudolph," Daniel replied.
"She was what?" exclaimed
Sam.
"Look, Sam, why don't you and Jack just come over here? You--you can see
for yourselves," Daniel pleaded.
"All right, Daniel, we'll be over as soon as we can get Teal'c and
"Oh, don't worry," he promised as he hung up. "I won't do
anything…crazy…"
"You really think something's on his roof?" Jack asked, raising an
eyebrow.
"I don't know," Sam replied honestly. "But whatever's going on
over there, it sounds like Vala and the kids are
going to need some help."
* * * *
Once Sam had gotten over her initial shock at the sight of Santa Claus, fixing
the sleigh required more light than the decorative Christmas bulbs could
provide. Fortunately, with the approach of the holiday, most stores were open
24 hours, so Daniel and Jack were elected to drive to Lowes
to pick up high powered flashlights and batteries. The wind and snow had also
begun to chill Vala, who was dressed in a housecoat
and slippers. Santa gallantly shucked off his coat and wrapped it around her,
eliciting another squeal of delight in response.
"Aren't you a gentleman," she smiled, leaning forward to kiss him for
his trouble. "Oh! Sam, his beard tickles!"
Sam stood with eyes bulging, opened and closed her mouth twice, and then
finally gave up. Santa turned to her with a knowing smile. "Something
wrong, Samantha?" he asked.
"No," she shook her head quickly, then
glanced down at the ground.
"I do have a spare coat in the sleigh if you'd like," offered Santa.
"Oh--no--that's okay," Sam coughed uncomfortably.
"No?" Santa asked in surprise. "How about my
hat?"
Before Sam could protest, Santa had plucked the cap off his head and set it on
her, pulling it snuggly down around her ears to keep them warm. She felt
herself grinning stupidly and tried to stop, but Santa gave a wink and turned
back toward the sleigh.
"Do you have any idea how long it'll take to get her up and running?"
he asked.
"Not without knowing what's wrong, sorry," Sam shook her head.
"Does your on board computer have a diagnostic function?"
"Mmm," nodded Santa. "I can call up a
diagnostic report now, if you like."
"That'll be a start, yeah," Sam replied with a nod of her own. She
followed Santa back to the sleigh and peered at the monitor for a few minutes,
but Vala began to get antsy with nothing to do.
Santa sighed, turning to look at Sam with a knowing expression, and then
called, "Well, there's not much we can really do here until the boys get
back with those lights. Why don't we go inside and find some cookies?"
"Ooh, good idea," Vala grinned, her eyes
drifting hopefully toward the chimney. "Could we…?"
"Ho, ho, ho!" bellowed Santa happily. "Why
not?"
"Um," frowned Sam, following him and Vala over to the chimney. "How exactly do
you…well…"
"Fit?" Santa laughed, pulling a small velvet pouch from his belt. He
held it up and said, "Christmas magic!"
"Magic," she repeated.
"You're as bad as Daniel," Santa sighed as he opened the pouch and
sprinkled a small amount of dust on his palm. He looked up again and blew
softly, causing the dust to billow out in a glowing swirl of gold and silver
around the girls.
"Hey, what--?" Sam cried.
"Think small!" Santa laughed, then leapt into the air and disappeared
down the chimney.
It was several minutes before Vala could coax Sam to
take the leap, despite the fact that Sam traveled across the galaxy through a
wormhole almost every day. Even after she did, Sam got stuck, and Vala had to tug on her foot to pull her out into the
fireplace.
"Someone needs to lay off the Christmas cookies," she remarked as
they dusted one another off.
"Very funny," Sam replied, adjusting Santa's cap on her head again.
Vala, however, turned suddenly pale and exclaimed,
"Cookies!"
"What?" frowned Sam.
"The cookies!" Vala
repeated, peering frantically around. "Where's Santa?"
"I dunno, in the kitchen, I guess. Why?"
asked Sam.
"Santa!" Vala
called, pushing past Sam to race into the kitchen. "Don't touch the…"
"Ho, ho--whoa!"
Crash!
"…cookies," finished Vala with a wince.
CHAPTER 2: Looks Like Coal to Me
The verdict was clear and absolute. With two broken bones in
his right leg, there would be no delivering presents for Santa. The effort of
hauling sacks of gifts and climbing in and out of chimneys would put far too
much strain on his leg. Not to mention that the injury itself would
considerably slow down his pace.
The emergency room staff, of course, had no idea who Santa was. The official
story was that he was Daniel's uncle, visiting from
Little was said after the doctor sternly admonished "Mr. Saint" that
whatever important outing he'd planned for Christmas Eve would have to be put
aside. Santa bowed his head in acknowledgement and silently listened as the
doctor instructed him to keep his leg elevated as much as possible until his
return to
"Well, Vala," Jack smirked, having heard by
then about the Santa trap. "Looks like coal to me."
CHAPTER 3: SG-Claus
Waking up to find Santa in their kitchen lost its appeal
once Nicky and Manda understood the ramifications for
the rest of the world. Nicky, who was always the one ready to defend Vala, only gave her a long glare, sighed, and busied
himself with a game on the back of his Froot Loops box. Manda, however wasn't so willing to let their mother of the hook.
"Mom," the seven year old
declared in disgust. "You ruined Christmas!"
"Now wait a minute," Vala began to protest.
She paused, looking hopefully toward Daniel, and then to each of the other
members of SG-1, all seated around the
In the end, it was Daniel's grandfather, Nick, who came to Vala's
defense. He folded his arms on the table and pursed his lips, fixing an
unusually stern expression first on Manda and then on
Carter O'Neill, who was sitting between her and her brother. Then he plucked
the Fruit Loops box away from Nicky, silently letting him know that he was
being included in the censure.
The boy opened his mouth, but quickly snapped it shut again at the sight of his
great-grandfather's disapproving frown. Nick Ballard had been a constant
presence in the children's lives--perhaps in an effort to make up for his
pointed lack of one in Daniel's. He
rarely got upset with them, but somehow Nick's disappointment in them always
carried more weight than anyone else's.
"Now, it seems to me that all of you thought the Santa trap was a good
idea until this morning," Nick said.
The kids exchanged uneasy glances, both Nicky and Carter both capitulated.
Carter gave a reluctant sigh, realizing that he had no argument. Nicky's face,
more than anything, became relieved. At five years old, he didn't like having
to be mad at Vala for any longer than necessary.
"Sorry, Mom," he offered.
"Sorry, Auntie Vala," muttered Carter with
a nod of agreement.
Manda, the oldest, managed to hold out a little
longer. She gave the boys a look that clearly called them traitors and glared
at Vala again. Nick's eyebrows rose, though, and she
finally caved. "Sorry, Mommy," she sighed.
"It's all right, children," Santa spoke up, "because your parents and the rest of SG-1 are going to deliver the
presents tonight."
"They are?" the kids' eyes collectively widened.
"We are?" the team jerked forward in their chairs to stare at Santa.
"Of course," Santa nodded. "You wouldn't want to let down
countless children all over the world, now would you?"
"Can't have that…" Jack chimed in with a smirk.
"Oh, now when I said SG-1, Jack, I did mean to include you," Santa
smiled.
"What?" Jack's mouth popped open. "Hey, I'm retired!"
"C'mon, Dad!" Carter protested. "If
everyone else is going, you have to go!"
"Who said anyone else was going?" Jack replied.
"I think Santa just did," Daniel said, clearing his throat slightly.
"Well, I can't. I gotta go--" Jack broke
off, eyes widening as Sam gave his shin a hard kick under the table. Realizing
he couldn't say that he was supposed to spend the night searching for Carter's
coveted video game, he quickly ad libbed, "To
bed early."
The kids all looked askance at him, and Sam covered her face with her hand,
giving her head a shake in disbelief. Santa hid a smile behind his hand and
stroked his beard. The famous merry twinkle in his eye became decidedly
mischievous, and he sat back in his chair with a knowing smile in Jack's
direction.
"You know," he remarked, "Since it is Christmas Eve, I don't see any reason why these three shouldn't
have at least one present from me early."
The casual statement was met with cheers and hopping from the younger members
of the O'Neill and Jackson families and an excited squeal from Vala, to which Santa replied with a happy ho-ho-ho.
Breakfast was entirely forgotten, and the kids rushed into the living room
where Santa had left his sack of goodies.
Vala found it slightly disturbing that her children
were as excited over a collection of fantasy novels as Carter was about the
video games that Santa brought for him. Nicky's gift included both a boxed set
of the Narnia novels and movie The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the
Witch, and the Wardrobe. Manda got the entire
Harry Potter series and movie Harry
Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Both kids' eyes widened as they held the
shiny DVDs, but the movies were quickly disregarded in favor of the books,
leaving Vala mystified and Daniel with a quietly
satisfied smirk on his face.
That smirk faded a moment later, though, when Carter, happily clutching the
sold out game that the entire team had scoured the city for, looked up at Jack
and said, "See, Dad? I told you
Santa could find it! Santa can do anything
he wants!"
As the kids all scrambled to hug and thank Santa, Vala
turned a questioning frown on her husband. Daniel gave his head a quick, dismissive
shake, but it was obvious to her that the smile he forced back to his lips was
feigned. She had no time to wonder about it, though, because Santa turned and
asked, "Well, Jack? You still going to let a little lack of sleep hinder
you from leading your team one last time? This could be the most important
mission of SG-1's career."
"Well, I…" Jack started, then paused. "Lead?"
"That means he gets to wear the Santa suit, don't
it?"
Teal'c's eyes narrowed. "It is I who should be
Santa," he rumbled.
"What?" cried Jack. "Why should you be
Santa?"
"Uh oh…" Nicky whispered, glancing at Carter.
"This could be trouble," the older boy nodded.
"Teal'c, you'd have to drink milk!" Sam spoke up, hoping the
"See, there's that. You hate milk, Teal'c. So I'm Santa," Jack
insisted.
"Y'know, there's nothing to say it has to be milk with the cookies,"
Daniel piped up. "Teal'c could have juice."
"Juice on Christmas Eve!" Vala cried. "That would be just sacrilege!"
"Well, I have no objection to drinking milk, and I already am the leader of SG-1, so I should be Santa!"
"No," Santa shook his head. "
Jack frowned slightly, glancing at the floor as Santa's eyes turned back to
him. He looked up again and shrugged. "Maybe a
little."
"So consider this my Christmas present to you, General
O'Neill," Santa nodded.
Teal'c inclined his head in silent agreement, and
"Okay," he nodded. "But I ain't bein'
Rudolph!"
"Nah, we'll save that for Daniel," agreed Jack.
Daniel's eyes widened. He spluttered indignantly for a few moments and then
declared, "There is no way that I am pulling your sleigh."
"Don't worry, darling," Vala grinned.
"You can be an elf!
"What?" he gaped.
"You'd look adorable in the pointy shoes," she asserted. "And the tights. Mmm."
Daniel shook his head, giving her a hard glare before turning a smirk on Jack.
"I know. Teal'c can be Rudolph. He can pull your bulk."
"Are you saying fat?" Jack demanded.
"Well, ever since you--retired--" Daniel coughed pointedly. "You
have put on a few pounds. Must be all those sweets you keep sneaking behind
Sam's back."
"What?" Sam turned, giving her husband a light smack in the arm. Then
she paused. "Wait. Does this make me Mrs. Claus?"
The kids, watching the entire scene in disbelief, finally let out a collective
sigh. Nicky and Carter turned toward Manda, who gave
her head a slow shake. "These
are the people who save the world for a living?" she asked.
"I was wondering about that myself," Santa said. The argument
abruptly halted, and the team all turned to glare him and the kids. Santa responded with a ho-ho-ho and announced,
"As a matter of fact, I do have costumes for the rest of you…."
* * * *
"C'mon, people!" called Jack, now attired in Santa's extra suit as he
stood at the bottom of Daniel and Vala's staircase.
"You can't stall any longer We've got presents to
deliver!"
In response, a door slammed upstairs, and a few moments later, the rest of the
team appeared on the landing. There was a moment of shocked silence, then all
three kids burst into hysterics as first Daniel, then Sam and Vala, then Cameron, and lastly Teal'c, all trooped down the
stairs dressed in the unmistakable pointy shoes, hats, and tights of Santa's
elves.
The others all kept their eyes firmly glued to their shoes, but Vala skipped along happily after Daniel. "See, I told
you that you'd make a cute elf!"
"I should not have so readily agreed to allow you to be Santa,
O'Neill," Teal'c muttered as he walked past Jack into the living room.
Santa himself, who was sitting with his broken leg propped on the coffee table,
picked up the remote control and snapped off the TV. "Perfect!" he
declared. "Just perfect! Oh--but you do lack one
thing."
"Which is?" Jack raised an eyebrow.
"Christmas magic!" Santa replied, untying
the red velvet pouch from his own belt and tossing it to Jack. "Just a pinch, now. Too much and you'll shrinking off
and on for a week."
"
"No," Daniel shook his head. "You guys stay here and watch Frosty the Snowman with Santa. We'll be
back before you wake up tomorrow."
"Awwwww…" all three protested loudly.
"Ah!" Jack held up a finger for silence, ending their protests. Then
he nodded. "Much better. And don't forget,
Carter, I want you in bed by nine."
"Okay," the boy sighed, rolling his eyes.
"Manda, Nicky, that goes for you too,"
Daniel added.
"Can I stay up and read in my room? Manda asked.
"On Christmas?" Daniel's eyebrows arched.
"No, Manda, you need to go to sleep or Uncle
Jack can't come and leave you any presents," Vala
grinned.
Manda started to snicker, then looked at Jack again
and thought better of it. "Okay, Mom," she agreed as Vala and Sam moved to kiss each of the kids on the cheek
before leaving.
Once goodbyes were said, Jack sprinkled a bit of Santa's magic dust on his palm
and blew, creating a swirling silver and gold cloud around SG-1. When it
cleared, he led the way to the fireplace and then glanced nervously back toward
Santa. "Uh…?"
"Think small," Sam advised with an impish look toward Vala.
"Huh?" Jack frowned.
"Just concentrate, Jack," explained Santa with a grin. "Imagine
yourself small enough to fit up the chimney. The Christmas magic does the
rest."
"It's easy!" Vala nodded.
The male members of SG-1 eyed one another uncomfortably, but one by one they
closed their eyes. As each one was whisked up the chimney to the roof, the kids
let out a successively louder cry of amazement. Finally, Teal'c was the only
one left. He paused briefly, turning back to offer Santa a bow, and then closed
his eyes.
A moment later, he found himself on the roof, and dutifully followed Jack to
the sleigh. After several long minutes of pushing and shoving, everyone had
climbed aboard. Jack stood staring down at the computer control panel and
scratched his head.
"Okay, Carter--Sam--you drive," he said finally.
She smirked at his habitual use of her maiden name, which he fell back into as
easily as he reassumed command of SG-1, and edged her way past Vala to stand beside him. "Santa said that the sleigh
itself is fully automated now. His list is pre-programmed into the guidance
system's computer, and the sleigh will automatically stop at each house, giving
us a read-out on this screen so we
know which sack to take down with us."
"I still don't get how this is supposed to work,"
"Initiating launch sequence," Sam said, her hands moving quickly over
the controls. Then she explained, "Not every child in the world celebrates
Christmas. Even among those that do, not all of them have Christmas traditions
that include Santa Claus. There's also the shift in time zones to consider.
Theoretically, it's possible--as long as we stick to Santa's timetable and
don't get sidetracked."
"If you say so,"
The sleigh's engines fired and it rose a few inches off the ground, but the
deer didn't move. Sam frowned. "Maybe we have to…" she gestured
toward the reigns.
Jack sighed knowingly and picked them up, giving them a light slap. Still the
deer didn't budge. "Heigh-ho Silver?" Jack
attempted.
"No," Daniel spoke up. "It's…on Dasher, on Dancer…"
Two of the deer perked up at the sound of their names, and the rest seemed to
tense in expectation, but Daniel paused, pulling thoughtfully on his lower lip.
"Um…"
Teal'c silently sidled past
As he spoke, each of the deer raised it's head and
shook itself, then pawed the roof in excitement. The rest of SG-1 all stared in
amazement at the
"Hey, you know how it goes?" Jack exclaimed.
Teal'c made no response, blithely continuing, "To the top of the roof, to the top of the wall…"
"WHOA!" cried
"…now dash away, dash away, dash
away all!"
"Whoa, deer! Whoa!"
CHAPTER 4: The Gift of Giving
"What are we doing in here, Santa?" asked Nicky as
he followed their houseguest into Daniel's office. It was a room that the kids
knew, while not off limits, was not the safest place to play. Daniel's relics
could be fun, but were usually easy to break. A broken plate in the kitchen
meant a sigh and an admonishment from Vala to be more
careful. A broken plate in here might mean a week of confinement to one's room,
and at the very least made their father scowl and stomp through the house
muttering to himself.
Santa, with a crutch under each arm, grinned reassuringly and gestured for the
kids to follow him inside. He clomped his way to Daniel's desk and lowered
himself into the chair with a wince. Carter and Nicky hurried over to help him
lift his broken leg, but once they had it elevated, the two boys realized that
there was nothing nearby to prop it on.
"Manda!" Carter
called urgently. "Grab the trash can or something!"
The elder
"Shut up, Manda, Santa said!" Nicky
retorted. "Get the trash can before his leg slips. You wanna
be the one to tell why we had to take Santa back to the hospital tonight?"
Manda sighed in disgust, but dutifully walked over to
pick up the waste basket that Daniel kept by the door. She paused as she picked
it up, though, and peered curiously inside. "Um, Santa, there's a bunch of
broken junk in here."
"Ah, good! That's just what we're looking for," Santa nodded.
"Bring it all here, Manda. Take out the pieces
and spread them on the desk here for me."
"Uh…okay…" she said dubiously.
The desk, of course, was already cluttered with books and artifacts. With a
wave of his hand, Santa sent the debris into motion, and in a few moments,
everything was neatly stacked. Wide eyed, Manda
emptied the contents of the waste basket onto the empty surface, and then
frowned as she recognized pieces of the vase that Vala
had wanted for Christmas and a necklace that Daniel had often told her belonged
to his friend, Catherine Langford.
Once the basket was empty, she helped the boys prop Santa's cast on it, then
took his crutches for him and leaned them on the wall. Turning back to the desk
again, she raised an eyebrow at the sight of Santa carefully sorting the bits
of necklace and separating them from the broken shards of the vase.
"What are you gonna do with all that?"
Nicky wanted to know.
"A little Christmas magic," replied Santa. He snapped his fingers,
and the broken pieces came alive, rising off the desk to quiver and shake, as
if waiting for direction. Santa waved his hand, and each bit began move,
jostling for position as the valuable objects reassembled themselves.
"Wow!" Carter exclaimed.
"You can say that again!" Nicky nodded emphatically.
"Okay," added Manda. "I take back what
I said about Dad having a fit."
"Ho, ho, ho!" replied Santa happily. "Well, we're not through
yet!"
"What else do we have to do?" Nicky frowned.
"These are your mother's Christmas presents," Santa explained.
"Now we need to take them out to the living room and wrap them up so
they'll be waiting under the tree tomorrow morning."
"Oh, so I guess it's a bit of present for Dad too, then, huh?" Manda grinned.
"You could say that," Santa winked.
He slowly got to his feet again, gesturing for Carter and Nicky to take the
presents while he hopped over to get his crutches. Then he led the way back out
to the hall, but Manda paused in the doorway. She
looked back toward the desk, frowned, and shook her head.
"Something wrong, Manda?" Santa asked.
"He'll never be able to find anything now," she sighed.
"Oh. You know, you might be right," Santa agreed with a nod. He
turned to look back at the desk himself, and as he did, the neatly stacked
artifacts and reference material all clattered back into their original
disarray.
CHAPTER 5: Christmas Magic
Once they'd gotten the reindeer under control, things went
relatively well. Except for a few slips on frozen rooftops and having to spend
an hour in someone's backyard trying to find loose marbles when
Jack tripped on the cord attached to a string of Christmas lights and went
sprawling face first onto the living room floor. The noise woke the general,
who came charging downstairs in ducky pajamas, shotgun in hand. He gaped
wide-eyed at Jack and the members of SG-1 for several moments, then slowly
lowered the gun.
"Let me guess," he smirked. "Santa needed backup and you people
got called in."
"Not exactly, sir,"
"Wait," interrupted Jack. "You mean this whole Santa thing
doesn't surprise you?"
"Nah," Landry shook his head, walking over to lean on the back of the
couch. "I met Santa when I was eight. Never forgot."
Vala saw Daniel tense and frowned, but he quickly
turned his attention to the present sack that Jack had left on the floor beside
the tree. She knelt to help him, her hand discreetly moving to brush the back
of his fingers. He smiled in response, but before she could press him,
"That's…really interesting, sir."
"Yeah, and if we had time to stick around and chat, I might even ask how
you met the old guy, Hank. Right now we've still got a lot of ground to
cover," Jack reminded him. Then he turned toward Daniel and Vala, adding, "You all set there, Daniel?"
"Yep," Daniel sprang to his feet again.
"Okay, let's go," Jack nodded, leading the group back toward the
chimney. "Merry Christmas, Hank."
* * * *
"Do we really have to stop here?" Jack asked when the sleigh landed
on former Vice President Kinsey's roof. The deer shook themselves and snorted
in protest at the question, and he let out an exaggerated sigh.
"It is Christmas," Sam
reminded him with a knowing smile. She peered at the list displayed on Santa's
monitor and her eyes widened. "Uh…guys…?"
"What's wrong?" Vala asked, pausing in her
perusal of the gift sacks.
"This list says Kinsey's getting coal," Sam replied.
"See? I knew it," Jack smirked.
* * * *
An argument broke out at Walter's over the brownies. It was a well known fact
at the SGC that Harriman's wife routinely baked brownies on Christmas Eve and
left them for Santa. The day after Christmas, the leftovers found their way
into the briefing rooms on base. This year
"Well, why do you get it then?"
"Because I'm Santa?"
Jack raised an eyebrow.
"So? You've had the cookies at the last three houses! It's my turn!"
insisted
"You can have 'em at the next house! I want the
brownie!" Jack exclaimed, reaching to slap the coveted confection out of
"The next house is that clone that Loki made of you! What kinda cookies you think he'd leave out for Santa?"
"Ho-Hos," Jack replied. "Same thing I
used to put out when I was single."
"What?"
"Look, will you two keep it down?" interrupted Daniel. "You're gonna wake up--"
"General O'Neill?" came a
stunned voice from the kitchen doorway.
"Walter," Daniel finished with a sigh.
"Dr. Jackson? Colonel
O'Neill?" Harriman continued, his eyes darting first toward Daniel, then
Sam, and then slowly taking in the rest of SG-1. "How did you get in my
house? Why are you in my house? And
why are you dressed like elves?"
"Hey, do I look like an elf to you?" Jack asked as the team eyed one
another uneasily.
"No…" Walter said slowly.
"Good," said Jack. "And we're here because you're dreaming. Go
back to bed."
"Yessir," Walter nodded, turning to make
his way back to the bedroom.
* *
* *
"So, why did you leave sweets
out for Santa when you were single?" Sam whispered. They had
finished leaving presents under "Mini-Jack's" tree, and succeeded in
doing so without waking up the clone. Now they were making their way carefully
into the kitchen.
Jack shrugged. "Thought it was funny, I guess."
"Did you not think it strange that the Ho-Hos
were always missing on Christmas morning?" inquired Teal'c.
"Figured one of the dogs ate 'em," Jack replied,
his hand groping along the kitchen wall for a light switch. Before he found it,
a low and unmistakably hostile growl sounded from further inside the room.
"Um…Jack…what kind of dogs did you have back then…?" Daniel asked
worriedly.
"Rottweilers…" Jack replied, his hand
dropping away from the wall. "Run."
"What is wrong?" asked Teal'c.
"Run!"
* * * *
After they narrowly escaped Mini-Jack's dogs with their lives, they landed at
Cassie's and brought down the wrong bag of presents. By the time they went back
to the roof, found the right one, and went down to put the stuff under the tree
again, Sam calculated that they had thrown off Santa's timetable by more than
three hours already. At General Hammond's, the problem wasn't forgetting Santa's gifts. When all his
grandchildren's presents were safely under the tree, Sam realized that she had
forgotten the watch that the team had engraved for the general.
Sighing, Jack reluctantly said that there wasn't time to go all the way back to
the house for it and that they would have to present it to
Teal'c was busy watering the reindeer while Cameron and Vala
tried to re-pack the remaining bags of toys in the back of the sleigh. Sam and
Daniel were the first ones to reach Jack, whose booted feet were dangling
directly in front of Siler's bedroom window. Even through Santa's gloves,
Jack's fingers had rapidly become numb, and he craned his neck to bark at his
rescuers.
"C'mon, pull me up, I'm gonna slip!"
"Oh, I really wish you'd eaten a few less cookies," Sam groaned as
she and Daniel hefted her husband back onto the roof.
His foot smacked the window pane, and although the glass didn't shatter,
Daniel's eyes slid closed in exasperation. A few moments later, they heard the
window being shoved upwards, and Siler's voice demanded, "Hey, who's out
there?"
Back on his feet by then, Jack raised a hand in silent signal, and his
teammates froze. After a few tense heartbeats, the window slid down again, but
as it did they heard Siler explain, "No, I thought I saw Santa's
boots…maybe he fell off the roof…I don't know, must've been dreaming…"
* * * *
Once they'd left the Silers' they managed to make up
some time. There were several houses where nothing actually went wrong, and under
Jack's repeated commands for them to hustle, the team learned to unpack and
leave presents faster than they thought possible. Unfortunately, though, they
only fell further behind at Carolyn's. Unlike Mini-Jack, the CMO had forgotten
to leave her apartment door unlocked.
"Why the heck would she lock her door on Christmas Eve?"
"Probably because she doesn't believe in Santa," Daniel replied
dryly.
"I doubt the clone believes in Santa,"
"Yes, but he's Jack," Daniel replied.
"Right,"
"I…have no idea…" Daniel admitted.
"I do," chirped Vala brightly. She reached
into the front pocket of her elf costume and produced Daniel's wallet, which
she opened before beginning to casually peruse the credit cards.
"What are you doing?" Daniel demanded. "And why do you have my
wallet?"
"I thought I should bring it in case of an emergency, darling," Vala replied as she selected a card and sauntered over to
the door. "And it's a good thing I did!"
It only took her a moment or two to pick the lock. The door swung open, and the
team stood gaping, not that she could do something like this, but that she
would. Finally, Jack gestured them inside and
"So getting coal for that,"
he smirked.
* * * *
Santa had warned them about the silent alarm at the White House. The problem
was that they were rushing so much by then that no one stopped to think about
it. So, when the White House security and Secret Service agents came bursting
in with guns drawn, there was no time to make a dash back to the chimney. SG-1
found themselves thrown against the nearest wall and patted down, and when
asked to identify themselves, Jack bellowed,
"I'm General Jack O'Neill!" then paused before adding, "…in a
Santa suit…"
The situation only deteriorated as Daniel repeatedly urged the Secret Service
to "call his house", where he insisted that Santa Claus was watching
Christmas shows with his children. He didn't actually expect them to do it,
though, so he was surprised when, about an hour after the first round of
interrogation ended, the Secret Service returned and escorted him and the rest
of the team to the roof.
"Told you to check up here," Jack smirked when their captors went
wide-eyed at the sight of the sleigh.
No one answered, though, since their attention was diverted by the chopper that
was landing nearby. When the propellers came to a halt, it opened to reveal
Generals Hammond and Landry, who were
followed out by Carter O'Neill, and then Manda and
Nicky Jackson. Lastly came Santa, hobbling out on his
crutches with the aid of the helicopter pilot.
"What are you doing here?"
Daniel asked the kids.
"I thought we told you to stay at the house," added Jack.
"You told us to stay with Santa, Dad," Carter replied.
"I couldn't exactly leave them at the house alone," Santa piped up,
clearing his throat apologetically. "And I was needed here to clear up this little misunderstanding."
"They could've stayed with my grandfather," Daniel pointed out.
"He's still at the house."
"No he's not…" called the voice of Nick Ballard from inside the
chopper. Adorned in a Santa cap, Nick's head poked out of the chopper and he
edged his way down to meet the rest of the group.
Daniel buried his head in his hands and sighed. "Okay…so now what?"
"Now," said Santa, "We need to get the rest of these gifts
delivered before morning."
"Yeah, that could be a problem," remarked
"Indeed," agreed Teal'c with a glance at the now gray sky.
"There is a way," Santa assured them. "We'll just have to make a
little trip back to my workshop…"
* * * *
"Sorta reminds me of Superman's house,"
"What?" Vala asked, turning incredulously
toward Cameron while the elves offered mugs of hot cider and Mrs. Claus began
to help Santa and Jack with their coats. She had discovered The Man of Steel
some time while she and Daniel were newlyweds and become as well versed in
Superman lore as Teal'c was in anything related to Star Wars.
"I think he means the Fortress of Solitude, Mom," Manda
spoke up.
"He doesn't live there, you idiot," Vala
rolled her eyes at him.
The name-calling earned her a look of censure from Santa, and she bit her lip.
She murmured an uncomfortable apology before following the rest of the party
down the hall.
"Ho, ho, ho, you have a good memory, Hank!" exclaimed Santa happily.
"Well," said the general, "getting lost in the woods, found by
Santa Claus and helping him make his Christmas Eve rounds because he'd already
been to my house and couldn't double back until the rest of the presents were
delivered is one of those experiences that sorta
sticks in my mind."
"Wow, General, does Carolyn know about all that?" Carter asked.
"Well, she did when she was little," sighed
Landry. "She's probably forgotten all about it by now."
"Why?" frowned Nicky.
"Most grown ups just stop believing in Santa," Landry explained.
"Once they do, anything like this kinda just
fades away. Like it never happened at all."
"Is that gonna happen to us?" Nicky
asked.
"Not if you don't want it to," Santa promised with a smile.
"What about you, General Hammond?" Manda
asked, frowning thoughtfully. "Did you meet Santa when you were a kid
too?"
"No,"
Daniel's eyebrows rose at this, and he turned a questioning glance on his
grandfather. Nick shrugged and looked away uncomfortably. Catching the
exchange, Santa smiled sadly.
"Most grandparents do get to meet me again. A few here and there are too
busy with more important things," he said. Then he looked back at
"Huh?" Jack frowned.
"Your pocket," Santa repeated.
Jack's eyebrow rose, but he reached inside the pocket of his suit, eyes
widening as he pulled out the watch that the team had meant to give General
Hammond tonight. He cleared his throat and stepped forward with a half-smile. "Merry Christmas, George. From Sam,
Daniel, Teal'c, and I."
Leader
"Thank you, SG-1," he said.
"Ho, ho, ho!" exclaimed Santa with a wave of his arm.
"Now--let's get those presents delivered!"
He led them through several corridors and finally stopped at a large arched
door which Landry said he had no memory of. Santa grinned in response and began
to enter a security code in the digital lock on the wall beside it. It slid
open, revealing a huge open interior with a mounted lever in the center of the
floor. The walls were covered with smaller levers and switches, blinking red
and green lights, and view screens depicting scenes from all over the world.
"This is our emergency system," Santa explained. "It slows down
the passage of time in the event of a delay so that I--or in this case,
SG-1--can finish delivering the presents."
"How exactly does it work?" Sam frowned. "I mean, why aren't we
affected by the time dilation?"
"Christmas magic, Samantha," replied Santa easily.
"But there's no such thing as…" Sam began, breaking off at the
pointed eyebrow Santa gave her. "Right."
"Good then," nodded Santa. "Now, I'm going to need all of
you to help me turn this thing on…"
* * * *
For the rest of the world, only a few minutes passed.
SG-1, Santa, and their motley crew of helpers experienced almost a full day
before the last of the gifts were dropped off at an orphanage in
"I'd…really rather not," Daniel said, igniting a storm of protests
from the kids, Vala, and Cameron. Knowing that there
was no way to extricate himself without giving a reason that would, more than
anything, confuse his children, he sighed quietly and let himself be dragged
along.
He did his best to be social, but the merry making left a hollow sensation in
the pit of his stomach, and finally he withdrew. The workshop seemed to exist
inside a temperate bubble. Only a few yards away, the frigid polar winds would
have made it impossible, but Daniel found himself outside, leaning against a
giant candy cane in only a sweater and a pair of khakis. A single star was
still brightly visible in the eastern sky, and his gaze kept drifting toward it
despite his efforts to find something else to look at.
"I wouldn't lean on that," Manda said as
she slid out the double doors to join him.
"Huh?" Daniel asked. "Why not?"
"It's real, Daddy," she smiled indulgently. "Can't you
smell the peppermint?"
After an experimental sniff, his eyes widened, and he shoved himself hurriedly
off the sticky surface. Manda peered behind him and
giggled, letting him know that he now had candy-cane stripes all down the back
of his clothes.
"Great," he sighed.
A speculative frown creased her forehead, and she asked, "Dad, are you
okay?"
"Fine," he said with an automatic smile.
"You still don't believe in him, do you?" she asked.
Daniel's mouth opened and closed in surprise at the turn of the conversation,
but finally he shrugged. "'Course I believe in him. He's right in
there."
"That's not the same thing," Manda sighed.
"As soon as we leave here, you'll forget, won't you? Like Carolyn forgot
her dad told her the story about getting lost in the woods."
He started to shake his head, but paused and finally let out a sigh of his own.
"I don't know, Monkey," he admitted.
She gave him a long, disappointed look, then finally turned and trudged back
inside. Daniel started after her, realized he had no idea what he was going to
say, and paused again, catching sight of Mrs. Claus as the door closed behind
his daughter.
"I'm sorry," she smiled apologetically. "I didn't mean to
eavesdrop."
Daniel shook his head, crossing the remaining distance between them.
"Daniel," he said, offering his hand.
"Jessica," she replied, giving it a firm squeeze. "But you can
call me Mrs. Claus if you like."
"I like Jessica," he said, and she nodded, smiling a bit shyly. They
fell silent for a moment, and Daniel's eyes drifted toward the door. "I
don't think she's ever looked at me that way," he said.
"It's difficult for a child," she nodded. "Suddenly realizing
that a wonderful experience like meeting Santa Claus is something she may not
be able to share with a parent. Especially the parent who's
given her so much of his own love of discovery."
"So, you think I will forget?" Daniel frowned.
"Do you want to?" Mrs. Claus asked.
"I…it's complicated," he sighed.
She nodded in understanding and reached into the pocket of her apron, drawing
out a yellowed piece of notebook paper. She carefully unfolded it, smiled a
little, and looked up at him. "Santa has a room where we keep all the
letters that, for one reason or another, don't get answered. Most of them are
because the toys the children want are popular and we run out. We fill the
request as soon as possible and drop them off, then
the letter gets moved. But a few of them just have to stay there. It's part of my job to keep track of them, write apology
letters. You got one, remember?"
"I thought that was my foster mother," Daniel replied.
She shook her head, smiling a little as she began to read,
"Dear Santa,
There's only one thing I want for Christmas this year, and that's the chance to
say goodbye to my mom and dad. No one really thinks you can do that, but I know
you can do anything you want. They don't have to stay or anything. Maybe just
visit for a couple of hours.
Danny Jackson."
"You don't have to--" Daniel started, then broke off and shook his
head, blinking against the sudden burn of tears.
"There are some things even Santa can't do," she said softly.
"I know that," Daniel nodded quickly. "I just--I was a
kid."
"Yes," she pressed her lips together, letting a brief silence fall
between them before she folded the letter and slid it back into her apron.
"Daniel, you could believe in the face of academic ridicule that the
pyramids of
His eyes widened, "It's not simple! It's--it's--it's ridiculous! He's an
amalgamation of figures from so many different cultures, there's no way it
could be true. There's no logical reason for--for reindeer flying, or a big fat
man going down chimneys, or--" he broke off, realizing much as Sam had
earlier where he was standing and to whom he was saying these things. He raked
his fingers through his hair in frustration and spun around, but he caught
sight of the star again and heaved a sigh. "Sorry," he finished.
She didn't reply for a minute, took a few steps and stopped beside him. Her
gaze followed his to the star and she said softly, "You're enough of an
expert in culture to understand that one day, no one will believe in Santa.
When that happens, everything you see here--the workshop, the elves, Santa and
I, will just fade away. But Christmas won't."
Daniel's head turned toward her in surprise and she smiled back, reaching for
his hand. "Come on," she encouraged. "Let's join the
party."
He hesitated briefly, but his lips turned up in a tentative smile and finally
he nodded. She led the way inside, where loud music and laughter assaulted
them. A group of elves tried to drag them into a folk dance, but Daniel's eyes
immediately sought out Vala--and found her.
Standing under a sprig of mistletoe in full view of their children and the rest
of SG-1, his wife had her arms wrapped around Santa's neck and was kissing him
full on the lips. Daniel stood shocked for a moment, then mumbled a hurried
apology to the laughing Mrs. Claus, and barreled his way through the crowded
room.
"Vala, what
are you doing?" he demanded.
"Kissing Santa, darling," she grinned back.
"I can see that!" he snapped. "WHY?"
"Daniel, are you jealous?" she laughed.
"Yes!" he barked, grabbing her by the wrist and pulling her hard
against him.
"We're not under the mistletoe," she teased as her arms slid around
his neck. Heedless, Daniel brought his lips to hers, while Santa, with a
bellowing ho-ho-ho, reached up to remove the mistletoe from the ceiling and
hold it above the pair.
"Kinda gives new meaning to I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus, don't it?"
"Indeed," agreed Teal'c dryly.
** The End **
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