As Always, Unexpected
By: sorrel_rowan
CATEGORY: Humor
WARNINGS: None
AUTHOR’S NOTES: Some humor/fluff for hariboo_smirks.
"But how-"
"Do be serious."
"Back at you."
A moment later, Vala's heels are in her hands. The soft, brand new and delicate Italian leather straps looped over her
wrists, tangled in ill-advised, brightly-coloured bracelets, she sighs and
slips bare feet into the fence links. Paused at the top, she glances towards
the ground.
"Ready, darling?"
The head attached to the face behind the raised eyebrows at the bottom of the
fence nods curtly and removes his hands from clenching behind his back.
Vala waits until the search lights were pointed in the other direction, thanks
Samantha for suggesting the dress with the split up the thigh as the better
choice, swings her leg over the fence and jumps down.
This, she thinks hurriedly and with a
swallow, would be an opportune moment for
an inappropriate remark, if only one would come to mind.
"We should-"
"Yes. Leaving."
Daniel carefully removes the hands that had been sitting warmly, comfortably,
just above the tops of Vala's hipbones and steps back, before they begin the
walk back towards the centre of the city.
"Really, Daniel, we should just give up on restaurants."
The frown of deep disapproval Daniel's been wearing ever since the first bullet
in the restaurant eases slightly. He ducks his head and stops by the corner of
the main street and the alley, hand going to the small of his back where a
stolen standard issue was tucked under his jacket as he glances around it and
Vala reintroduces her feet and her shoes.
"The bad guys do seem to think we have middle class habits."
"Well, that's insulting. We should prove them wrong by not hailing a
cab."
Daniel's smile flickers back on and off again, before a whole other frown
appears.
"Oh, dear."
"What?"
He turns from the light, frown in place and eyes narrowed.
"That particular-" Vala puts a fingertip on Daniel's nose briefly,
then tugs his suit jacket arm. "Up. The wall's damp." Daniel follows
her finger from his nose to his arm and complies, stepping forward. He blinks
once, twice and pushes his glasses up his nose.
"You were saying?"
"Yes, I was," Vala grins, tilting her head and shaking out her hair
in preparation for being amongst the general public, "that particular
frown means we may be forced to act beyond the exacting confines of the
law."
"I'd-" Daniel runs a hand through his hair and sighs, continuing in a
low, expressionless tone. "I'd rather we didn't take a cab."
"Excellent! Now, I'm thinking -" Vala leans around the corner and
back, "- that Porsche over there."
"No."
Vala slowly turns her head over her left shoulder, finding Daniel close behind.
"What's wrong with the Volvo?"
It's Vala's turn to blink once, and then twice. "Daniel. It's beige. And
dented." She smiles slyly. "And it's an act of charity to steal the
Porsche. The owner probably has a far higher disposable income than the Volvo
owner."
"Nice try, but c'mon, dear."
"'Dear?'" Vala hisses, a
pleasant smile on her face as she and Daniel step out of the alley, his hand
under her elbow. Slipping an arm through his, Vala palms the man who gives them
a scandalised glance off with a bashful, shy smile and slight giggle.
"Ha-ppy. Couple," Daniel grinds out, same pleasant smile gracing his
features as he tugs his elbow in the direction of the Volvo - and away from the
Porsche.
"Fine," Vala rolls her eyes, smiling and running her leg up against
Daniel's.
Daniel leans so close that she can feel his breath on her ear. "What are
you playing at?"
Vala giggles and shrugs. "With what my finely formed leg is doing, how
many people will notice that I just used the zat'ni'katel from your left pocket
to disable the electronic locking?"
"You make a good point," Daniel replies, putting a hand on the small
of her back as she takes a step forward to make enough room to fall back into
the driver's seat. "But why," he hisses into her ear, pulling her
back up from the driver's seat, "couldn't we just be inconspicuous?"
Passing a pedestrian as he 'guides' Vala to the passenger door and Vala seethes
quietly, Daniel mutters something about margaritas to the concerned pedestrian.
The pedestrian gives Vala a look over and is swiftly moved on at Daniel's
glare.
Daniel's glare follows the man down the street as he opens the door, Vala
maintaining the facade that she needs the crook of his elbow to keep her
standing straight. "Just because you're-"
"-Pretending to be very drunk-"
"-Doesn't mean I wouldn't punch him."
Vala allows herself to slump into the passenger seat, waiting until Daniel is
installed in the driver's seat to purse her lips and remove various pieces of
wire from the lining of her ruined clutch.
"Why thank you, Daniel. Move your leg to the left."
Daniel, rolling his eyes, complies. "Don't mention it."
"And as to your earlier question," Vala tilts her head, temple
knocking his knee and causing him to jump back, "we most closely resemble
the last fifteen minutes of any given Die
Hard film. People are going to notice us. We may as well provide their
small minds with sordid, plausible explanations. Try it now."
Daniel's knee rises and the small engine bursts into sputtering, unreliable
life.
"Hotel?"
"Hotel."
* * * *
Vala, perched on the edge of the double bed in Daniel's hotel room, can only
hear one side of the two am conversation with one General Jack O'Neill.
"Yes, Jack, I really am flattered that yet another governmental bad apple
hates us."
She rolls out her neck, watching Daniel pace in front of the small desk, his
shirt neck loosened from his incessant tugging and jacket tossed across the
back of the chair. It's disproportionately amusing that he continues to pace,
even when the landline cable restricts the space available to a metre in either
direction.
"We- yes, 'we' means Vala and I."
Suppressing a grin and wishing the other phone were on the side of the bed next
to her. She'd like to hear Jack's reply to that one.
"We get shot at and you want to know why we didn't have our cells?"
Vala flops back on the bed, a genuine falling backwards this time rather than
the scene they played on the crowded
"-care if they were tapped. Besides,
what about the ones I got you lot? Vala? What's your excuse?"
"Daniel had his, and if you'd like to refund the perfectly good money I
spent on my clutch bag when you're replacing our phones, I'd appreciate it,
Jack."
Across the room, Daniel is watching in amusement, phone braced between his ear
and shoulder as he shuffles through faxed over papers with both hands.
"They shot your handbag?"
"Yes. Daniel's phone happened to be in it. And I liked that one."
"Well, I'm sorry about that,
Vala."
"So you should be."
"Jack?"
Vala turns over, shoots Daniel a grin, and sits down the extension.
"The marines and the security should be able to handle it."
Sitting up on the edge of the bed again, she slips a hand down to against her
ankle and loosens the heels. They're pretty, but even prettier on the floor and
away from her complaining feet.
She's distracted from pondering which particular food to ask the marine to
bring up by Daniel's sigh.
"Yes. That does make sense."
She purses her lips together in a valiant effort to suppress a grin.
"See you in the morning, Jack."
Turning, she throws Daniel an innocent look. "So I'm sleeping here?"
He freezes, the phone an inch from the cradle. "It... makes sense."
The words are slow and seem to crawl from his throat.
"One location to secure and all that," Vala nods, fluffing up the
pillow near her.
"Yes," Daniel looks between the bed and the papers on the desk.
Vala rolls her eyes and goes to the room door.
"Hello."
"Ma'am."
Vala dangles her room key in front of the marine's eyes.
"What do you need, ma'am?"
His partner down the hall nods - they aren't related, and Vala's beginning to
wonder if it's just the haircuts and serious expressions that make it seem that
way - and speaks quietly into a radio.
"Thank you, darling."
Vala closes the door and leans against it.
"Well, that was no fun."
Daniel, now sitting at the desk, sends her a quick grin. "Could you not
badger the men with guns this once?"
"This once-" Vala walks over to the bed and flicks through the book
on the small table beside it, "- would be this twice and before you know
it, I'll be co-operative."
There's a snort from the desk. It's possibly one of disbelief, but she doesn't
check.
Five minutes later, there's a knock at the door. Vala checks the password and
takes the bag from the marine.
* * * *
The shower hurts. Water creeps into all the small cuts sustained on the fight
and the short dodge, drop and run executed from the restaurant to the stolen
Volvo. In truly cinematic fashion, the first bullet had shattered her wine
glass, showering very small pieces onto her bare upper arms, and for all her
bravado, Vala actually didn't enjoy
being shot at that much.
They were in
Convinced that under the grime a person had emerged, Vala shrugs on some slacks
and a vest top and goes back into the room.
* * * *
Daniel interrupts her staring between her bag and the bed. "Forgotten
something?"
Vala fails to fight back a yawn. "I'm wondering whether it's worth the
discomfort of going to bed with wet hair to avoid the effort of drying
it." The lazy option wins, and she catches Daniel watching her tie her hair
back.
She slips under the heavy hotel quilt and turns onto her side, before groaning
and turning over. Looking across at Daniel, still at the desk, she coughs
significantly and artificially. He looks over his shoulder.
"We aren't going to have some ludicrous argument about you sleeping on the
floor, are we? Because I'm not. We do that often enough."
Daniel picks up the towel Vala's left in a heap by the bathroom door, pausing
next to it with one hand on the door frame and a slightly lazy smile. "Point."
Vala can hear the shower running behind the wall in the bathroom and can tell
when Daniel steps in and out of it. If she were paying closer attention, she'd
be able to tell when he lifted an arm, sending a pool of water thudding to the
tiled floor.
She blinks awake when Daniel slips into the bed next to her.
Reaching up with a grin, she puts a hand in his hair and finds it still damp
from the shower.
"I couldn't be bothered either, despite your hair dryer being tempting and
all."
He's definitely tired; his voice is beginning to slur and he's not even
bothering to read his boring book, just slumping down into the soft pillows and
rolling out his neck.
"We should just have gotten one room in the first place, you know."
He smiles ruefully back. "Yeah, probably, but some expenses goon somewhere
would have kicked up a fuss and next thing you know, one of us is on
SG-3."
Vala allows her lips to turn up at the corners and wiggles her toes. "Mmm.
Marines."
Daniel glares mildly and reaches across her for his boring book, letting his
arm settle across her collar bone for a second more than necessary.
Vala raises an eyebrow. "You don't have glasses on. And it's upside
down."
Daniel reaches back across silently, sitting the book on the bedside table from
whence it came.
Turning and wrapping an arm around her waist, she can feel his grin on the back
of her shoulder. "Next time, we're just staying at Jack's."
** The End **
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