Chatting by Pip

Chatting

By: Pip

CATEGORY: Humor

WARNINGS: None

AUTHOR’S NOTES: Basically inspired by the conversations between myself and taraleesg1 (who is my beta) over AIM. We often thing our conversations sometimes sound like what Jack and Daniel’s would (we even slip into ‘character’ sometimes). That being said, there are a lot of personal, hidden jokes in this series, but it doesn’t kill the humor of it at all.

AUTHOR’S WEBSITE:

http://brabbit-hole.livejournal.com/

Chatting

FishinFlyboy: Yo Danny! You there?

* *

Auto Response from BetterThanIndy: "Archaeologists do it in the dirt."

* *

FishinFlyboy: That's just nasty, you know?

FishinFlyboy: Where'd you get such a dirty mind?

FishinFlyboy: Hellllloooooo?

FishinFlyboy: Here Danny, Danny, Danny...

FishinFlyboy: Be a good little spacemonkey and talk to a seriously bored General.

FishinFlyboy: Dammit.

FishinFlyboy: Where the hell are you?

FishinFlyboy: You can't be off saving the world yet. I have connections - there would've been calls.

FishinFlyboy: Ya know, it was your grand idea to start IMing each other. I torture myself at this typing business just for you, and now your not here?

FishinFlyboy: I'll just keep talking to you until you show up.

FishinFlyboy: Oh wait, you have gone unidle. That means you're at that fancy-schmancy laptop of yours.

FishinFlyboy: waiting

FishinFlyboy: still waiting

FishinFlyboy: about to call in national guard

FishinFlyboy: Okay, don't ignore me, you ass. I know you're there, despite what the little memo thing beside your name says.

BetterThanIndy: It's called an away message for a reason, Jack.

FishinFlyboy: Well, obviously it's lyin because you're not away.

BetterThanIndy: I WAS, but your constant IMing was starting to get a smidge annoying. I thought the away message would be a clear sign. I mean - AWAY message.

FishinFlyboy: Don't be smart.

BetterThanIndy: Hard not to, when I'm me.

FishinFlyboy: See, now your just being self-centered.

BetterThanIndy: Daniel Jackson IS NOT self-centered. Ask anyone on this base.

FishinFlyboy: Oh, third person now? Cliche superiority complex. You know how I hate cliches, Danny.

BetterThanIndy: Yes, well - Get over it.

FishinFlyboy: Don't make me come out there!

BetterThanIndy: I'm quivering in my boots...

FishinFlyboy: Really?

BetterThanIndy: You wish.

FishinFlyboy: Your a lot snippyer over the computer, ya know that?

BetterThanIndy: Even if that was a word, Jack, I'm sure you speeled it wrong.

BetterThan Indy: spelled

FishinFlyboy: OH! Who can't spell now?

BetterThanIndy: Shut up.

FishinFlyboy: But I'm not talking to you...how can I shut up?

BetterThanIndy: Well, stop typing then. Let me get back to work.

FishinFlyboy: Do you think there's a chance in hell of that actually happening?

BetterThanIndy: No.

FishinFlyboy: Good...glad we're on the same page.

* *

Auto Response from BetterThanIndy: "Archaeologist do it in the dirt."

* *

BetterThanIndy: Always.

FishinFlyboy: Dammit! Why is that thing still up?

BetterThanIndy: Because I want people to think I'm away.

FishinFlyboy: But your not...

BetterThanIndy: Your the only one who knows that.

FishinFlyboy: Awww, that makes me feel special!

BetterThanIndy: Oh, your special alright.

FishinFlyboy: Hey! I thought you were being nice!

BetterThanIndy: That was nice.

FishinFlyboy: What is with that away message, anyway? Not very mature, Danny.

BetterThanIndy: That was a jump.

FishinFlyboy: Jump? Who jumped what?

BetterThanIndy: In conversation! Geeze, keep up here.

FishinFlyboy: Well, you know me...

BetterThanIndy: Oh yes, I definitely do.

BetterThanIndy: OH SO WELL.

FishinFlyboy: Was that another "nice" comment?

BetterThanIndy: Maybe.

BetterThanIndy: O:-)

FishinFlyboy: Oh yes, your such an angel.

FishinFlyboy: Picture of innocence.

BetterThanIndy: Glad you can admit it.

BetterThanIndy: So what did we jump the conversation to?

FishinFlyboy: That was like two minutes ago. Your memory goin, old man?

BetterThanIndy: If I'm old, that makes you, what?

BetterThanIndy: Ancient?

FishinFlyboy: Don't even...

BetterThanIndy: Nah, that's still too young.

FishinFlyboy: Daniel, I'm warning you.

BetterThanIndy: I think you made dirt look cool when it was new.

FishinFlyboy: I'm so gonna jump through this computer and kick your ass.

BetterThanIndy: Bring it on you old farthead.

FishinFlyboy: That's real mature.

FishinFlyboy: About as mature as your away message.

BetterThanIndy: What's wrong with it?

FishinFlyboy: Come on Daniel! "Archaeologist do it in the dirt"?

FishinFlyboy: Please.

BetterThanIndy: Okay then...

FishinFlyboy: Oh crap, I can feel the evil from here. What are you doing?

FishinFlyboy: Daniel?

FishinFlyboy: Hellooo?

* *

Auto Response from BetterThanIndy: Having amazing mind-blowing sex with Vala in my office at this very moment. Get back to you when I can feel my body again.

* *

BetterThanIndy: Better?

FishinFlyboy: DANIEL!

FishinFlyboy: TAKE IT DOWN!

BetterThanIndy: Why? Sam and Mitchell think it's funny.

FishinFlyboy: I DON'T CARE! Wait...

BetterThanIndy: And Teal'c says it's quite amusing.

FishinFlyboy: You guys are IMing each other. Ya'll are members of a top secret organization, and you IM each other?

BetterThanIndy: I'm IMing you...

FishinFlyboy: Not the point.

BetterThanIndy: Do you ever have a point?

FishinFlyboy: YES! I have one now! Take that away message down.

BetterThanIndy: If I change it, will you let me go back to work?

FishinFlyboy: Work? You guys actually work between IMing each other?

BetterThanIndy: Do you?

FishinFlyboy: Good point.

BetterThanIndy: Oh, back on points again.

FishinFlyboy: Dammit, Daniel! Change the stupid away message!

BetterThanIndy: But you never answered my question.

FishinFlyboy: YES! I'll leave you alone...just, please...change it!

BetterThanIndy: Fine.

BetterThanIndy: Done...Now I'm going back to work.

FishinFlyboy: Yasureyoubetcha.

* *

Auto Response from BetterThanIndy: "Archaeologists do it in the dirt...with their smoking hot girlfriends who can bend like pretzels."

Kiss my ass, Jack!

* *

FishinFlyboy: HEY!

Show (This is what inspired the Kisses chapter ‘Christen’)

ShesAPirate: You are missing a very good show.

SGTechGirl: What's going on?

ShesAPirate: Well, while you sit there at work, pouring over those horrendous gadgets of yours, I myself get to watch a handful of beautiful men try and build themselves a bookshelf.

SGTechGirl: I told you I had to get this work done.

ShesAPirate: No work is worth missing this.

SGTechGirl: Well, what am I missing exactly?

ShesAPirate: The loves of our lives, plus Cameron, getting totally sloshed trying to figure out how to put this thing together.

SGTechGirl: Oh dear.

ShesAPirate: Oh, and Muscles is here too.

SGTechGirl: How bad off are they?

ShesAPirate: Rats. Carolyn isn't on. She might want to know how dear Cammy is making a total fool of himself.

ShesAPirate: Oh, how bad? Remember the St. Patty's day party...

SGTechGirl: Oh.

SGTechGirl: Are there tools involved?

ShesAPirate: Possibly. -innocent grin-

SGTechGirl: Is that wise? Those guys get into enough trouble on their own. Put them all together, then add booze and tools. You could have a potential infirmary visit in the near future.

ShesAPirate: Muscles is keeping a close eye on them.

SGTechGirl: Alrighty then. So your just...

ShesAPirate:-D Watching the show.

ShesAPirate: Ooops...Daniel just fell over. And of course now he's reaching for his drink.

SGTechGirl: You get enormous joy from seeing him trashed, don't you.

ShesAPirate: OHHHHHHHHH YESSSSSS

SGTechGirl: You are a bad, bad girl.

ShesAPirate: So I've been told. But seriously...He's always so in control. It's a joy to watch him just...let go once in a while.

SGTechGirl: More now that he's with you.

ShesAPirate: And plus, massive amounts of alcohol leads to the loss of various pieces of clothing.

ShesAPirate: Awww, I'll take that as praise.

SGTechGirl: -cough- Has that happened yet?

SGTechGirl: The loss of clothing, I mean.

ShesAPirate: Not yet, but it's upon the horizon. Wait...

SGTechGirl: What?

SGTechGirl: Vala?!

SGTechGirl: DON'T LEAVE ME HANGING HERE!!

SGTechGirl: COME ON...!!

ShesAPirate: Mr. General has removed his shirt. Your Jack is about as bad off as My Daniel.

SGTechGirl: They always seem to do things in pairs, them two.

ShesAPirate: Haha. Your not lyin', my dear. -swoons- Hello six-pack archaeologist!

SGTechGirl: No, he didn't!

ShesAPirate: Too bad your working...b/c...oh man, there goes Cammy.

SGTechGirl: I'm coming over.

ShesAPirate: But what about your doodads?

SGTechGirl: Doodads? -pushes everything off workbench- What doodads?

ShesAPirate: -evil grin- Uh huh.

SGTechGirl: Okay, I'm outta here and heading over there. And I'm making a pitstop by the infirmary to pick up someone.

ShesAPirate: Don't forget femanine beverages.

SGTechGirl: Take pictures until I get there.

ShesAPirate: I'm way ahead of you, dear. But you really need to hurry because...

SGTechGirl signed off at 5:36:29 PM.

Be There

BetterThanIndy signed on at 4:16:04 AM.

FishinFlyboy: Hey

BetterThanIndy: What are you doing up?

FishinFlyboy: Daniel, I'm in Washington. Few hours ahead here.

BetterThanIndy: Oh, right. I forgot...

FishinFlyboy: It's understandable.

BetterThanIndy: Sorry.

FishinFlyboy: Why are you sorry?

BetterThanIndy: I don't know...I don't know a lot of things at the moment.

FishinFlyboy: Danny...

BetterThanIndy: She hasn't woken up yet, Jack.

FishinFlyboy: She will.

BetterThanIndy: Carolyn kicked me out. Told me to get some sleep, but...I...can't.

FishinFlyboy: I wouldn't expect you to.

BetterThanIndy: Everyone keeps saying she'll be okay. I want to believe that. Just...seeing her tied to those machines...

FishinFlyboy: I know...YOU have done it to me way too many times to count.

BetterThanIndy: I'm sorry.

FishinFlyboy: It's okay.

BetterThanIndy: I miss her...is that right? To miss someone who's there, just not awake. Can I miss her voice, her laugh, her smile...her...

BetterThanIndy: Love. Can I miss that when she's right there??

FishinFlyboy: Of course you can, Danny.

BetterThanIndy: Then I miss her.

FishinFlyboy: I know.

BetterThanIndy: I miss her a lot.

FishinFlyboy: I know.

BetterThanIndy: I miss you too, Jack.

FishinFlyboy: Daniel, answer your phone.

"Jack?"

"Hey, Danny."

FishinFlyboy signed off at 4:25:56 AM.

In the Hole

ShesAPirate: I'm bored -pouts-

BetterThanIndy: I'm busy.

ShesAPirate: That doesn't make me any less bored... What are you doing?

BetterThanIndy: What I'm normally doing, Vala - I'm working. Maybe you'd actually like to try it some time.

ShesAPirate: But where's the fun in that?

BetterThanIndy: I think it's fun...

ShesAPirate: You would... Your boring and have no life - work is all you've got...

BetterThanIndy: Is this the part where you throw in some comment about your wonderful presence in my life?

ShesAPirate: ;-) You know me so well, darling...

ShesAPirate: We're practically lovers already

BetterThanIndy: Or it could be I've been locked in enough jail cells with you...

ShesAPirate: It's not THAT many...

BetterThanIndy: So you say...but I have a list...I've taken notes...

ShesAPirate: Really? And where is this...list.

BetterThanIndy: No where you'll find it...

ShesAPirate: So you think.

BetterThanIndy: It's wonderful to know some things will never change

ShesAPirate: :-(

BetterThanIndy: What?

ShesAPirate: You still think so little of me?

BetterThanIndy: Vala...

ShesAPirate: Honestly?

BetterThanIndy: I was only kidding.

ShesAPirate: I don't think you were...

BetterThanIndy: You can't seriously be hurt by that comment...

BetterThanIndy: Vala

BetterThanIndy: Vala?

BetterThanIndy: Come on, don't be like this

ShesAPirate: I'm feeling a little tired...I'm gonna go now

BetterThanIndy: No, please...I'm sorry, Vala.

BetterThanIndy: I promise I didn't mean it like that...

ShesAPirate signed off at 9:55:14 p.m.

Making Amends

ShesAPirate has signed on at 1:13:45 a.m.

BetterThanIndy: Hey...

BetterThanIndy: I thought you went to bed.

ShesAPirate: Why do you care what I do in my own time?

BetterThanIndy: I do care.

ShesAPirate: When I'm not being your helpful little assistant.

ShesAPirate: Do you?

BetterThanIndy: I don't think of you like that.

BetterThanIndy: Yes.

ShesAPirate: You have a hard way of showing it.

BetterThanIndy: Look, Vala...I didn't mean to upset you.

BetterThanIndy: That comment was only a joke.

ShesAPirate: I find that really hard to believe.

BetterThanIndy: ...Why?

ShesAPirate: You make no secret about how you don't like me. I understand you find me annoying, but you tolerate me. Of course, that Jack guy is just as annoying, but you like him.

BetterThanIndy: I never said I didn't like you, Vala.

ShesAPirate: He's YOUR friend, best friend even.

BetterThanIndy: I think of you as my friend...a really good friend. :-)

ShesAPirate: Here's a newsflash for you, Daniel - your my best friend. The first real friend I've ever had. And still, I can't seem to do enough to make you like me.

BetterThanIndy: Wow, Vala...

ShesAPirate: Yet I keep trying, no matter how much it hurts me.

BetterThanIndy: I do like you.

BetterThanIndy: Wait, I hurt you?

ShesAPirate: What kind of stupid girl am I, right?

BetterThanIndy: Please tell me your messin' with me...

BetterThanIndy: Your not stupid.

ShesAPirate: Yes, Daniel - that's what I'm doing. I'm "messin' with you", just like always.

BetterThanIndy: Are you? Really?

ShesAPirate: Ha ha.

ShesAPirate: Just some big old joke.

BetterThanIndy: Vala...