Cold Comfort by Maeve Bran

Cold Comfort

By: Maeve Bran

CATEGORY: Angst, Drama

SEASON/SPOILERS: Season 10 “Counterstrike”

WARNINGS: None

AUTHOR’S WEBSITE:

http://www.fanfiction.net/~maevebran

Daniel was wrapped up in his research in his lab. He had no idea of the time, just that it was late. He didn't really want to go home to his empty house. The conversation with Vala aboard the Ori ship had ripped open old wounds. He felt a little better getting some of that off his chest, but it still reminded him just how alone he has been.

There was a knocking on his door and he looked up to find Vala standing there. Her hair was damp from a recent shower. She was dressed in a black t-shirt and olive green cargo pants.

"Can I come in?" Vala asked.

Daniel was startled because usually she just barged in, but tonight she asked. "Um, sure," he answered. "Is there something I can do for you?"

Vala entered and sat on the empty stool next to him. "I actually thought I would ask you the same question," she said in all seriousness.

Again Daniel was startled. She came here to do something for him, other than bug him and get on his nerves. He just couldn't believe it. Here was the Vala he had always suspected existed, but had seen little evidence of. "What were you thinking you could do for me?"

"Darling, I never thought I'd hear you suggest that," Vala said half heartedly.

Daniel blushed, realizing then how his words could be taken, but before he could say anything she continued, "I actually was going to ask if you wanted to talk about it."

"Talk about what?" he asked, confused.

Vala gestured over to the picture of Sha're on his desk. "Your wife. It sounded like it had been awhile since you talked about her, and you needed someone to listen. It helps sometimes to talk about it."

Daniel swiveled around to give Vala his full attention. "You're right. I never talk about her. I haven't, really, except right after her death."

Vala placed a hand on his shoulder. "How long ago was that?"

"Seven years next month," Daniel answered, knowing without having to do the math.

"That's a long time to hold something like that in," Vala said.

"It is," Daniel agreed. He looked at Vala and saw that she was being serious, then he looked at Sha're's picture. "Sha're had, literally, been a gift to me. Her father was the leader of Nagada, the principal community on Abydos. Jack and I had gone there to explore, our first visit through the Stargate. I had thought I would be able to get everyone home, but the Abydonian point of origin wasn't near the gate, so we couldn't dial back immediately. We ended up in the town. I was wearing a golden pendant that was a copy of the eye of Ra, and as the planet was part of Ra's territory, Kasuf thought I was important and gifted his daughter to me."

"And you kept her," Vala said neutrally.

"I did. Once I figured out what had happened, I did try to send her back, but then I found out that in her culture that would have shamed her. Then Ra arrived, and Jack and I killed him. Sha're led me to find the origin symbol and I sent Jack and the others home. At the time, I had nothing back on Earth to return for, so buried the gate and stayed on Abydos with Sha're and her family for over a year." Here Daniel stopped. His face a mask of pain. He stared the photo on his desk. "But during that year, I found a huge room with golden cartouches of seven symbols each on all its walls..."

"Gate addresses," Vala guessed.

"Gate addresses," Daniel agreed. He reached for his coffee cup and took a drink before continuing. "I was curious and couldn't leave the gate buried. So we unburied it. Unfortunately Apophis had just come through the Earth gate, killed several people, and took an Air Force officer with him. They didn't know the gate led anywhere other than Abydos, so Jack was forced to tell General Hammond that he had lied about our mission. He'd told them I was dead and the Abydonian gate was destroyed. Hammond put together a team that included Jack and then Captain Samantha Carter and sent them through. When they arrived, I wanted to show off my discovery, so I took Jack and Sam to the cartouche room. While we were gone..." Daniel's voice broke.

Vala knew this wasn't going to be good. She stood up and moved behind Daniel, then put her hands on his shoulders and started to gently massage. "What happened?"

"While we were gone Apophis came through and took Sha're and her brother Skaara. Teal'c was still his First Prime, then. Several of the Air Force soldiers Jack had brought with him had been wounded. Jack had orders to bring me back with him, so we went back to Earth. Fortunately, one of the injured soldiers had seen the gate address that Apophis had left through," Daniel continued, his voice laced with pain and guilt.

"It wasn't your fault," Vala said as she recognized his tendency to blame himself for everything. "You were being true to your scholarly nature."

"That doesn't make it right," Daniel said, irritably. "Do you want the rest of the story or not?"

Vala's hands stilled but she left them in place. "Oh, I want the rest of the story."

"I got permission to go on that mission with Jack's team, to rescue Sha're. But by the time we got to Chulak, Sha're had become Amaunet's host-- Apophis's queen. At first, we were treated like royalty because we had come through the gate, but then I saw Sha're at Apophis's side and made a move. I was flung across the room, and the next thing I knew I woke up in prison.

"Skaara was there. Not long after, Teal'c led several Jaffa into the prison and a bunch of Goa'uld came to chose hosts for their children. I begged to be chosen on the theory that something of the host must survive, and that maybe I could be with Sha're in some manner. But that wasn't to be. All that did was call attention to our group, and Skaara was chosen instead. We fought back, and Jack appealed to Teal'c. Jack said he could get all of the prisoners out if Teal'c would help. Teal'c said he believed Jack could do it, then helped us escape. Jack said he had a place with us if he wanted it, and Teal'c agreed to come," Daniel finished. "That is how the four of us became SG-1."

"But that isn't the end of this story, Daniel," Vala said, as she rubbed gentle circles on his back. "I know there is deeper pain there than just Sha're becoming a host. So go on, get it all off your chest."

Daniel took another drink of his coffee. He bowed his head and tried not to lean into Vala's touch. It had been so long since someone just put a comforting hand on him and let it stay. He knew he should shrug it off, but it felt so damn good that he couldn't resist.

"You're right, there is more to the story. Exactly one Abydonian year to the day after Sha're had been taken, I returned to Abydos. She was there. Pregnant with Apophis's child. Amaunet was dormant then, because if she emerged she would cause the child to be born early and Apophis wanted the child to be his next host. Teal'c was there with me and the two of us managed to convinced Sha're to come to Earth. We got to the gate, but then Heru'ur arrived. Amaunet appeared briefly, and Sha're went it to labor.

"There wasn't any time, and we couldn't get back to Earth. The three of us hid and I delivered the child. I helped Sha're through her labor, all the while knowing when it was over my wife would be gone and the Goa'uld would be back." Daniel broke down at this point.

Vala moved in front of Daniel then. She bent and wrapped her arms around him. She muttered soothing words to him and held on to him for a few minutes, until he calmed.

Daniel finally shrugged off her arms and sat back up. "Teal'c had taken the armor of one of Heru'ur's guards and took the baby, so that Amaunet would think the other Goa'uld had him. Then we gave him to Kasuf. Kasuf hid him, and we came back to Earth." Daniel took another drink of coffee. "About a year later, Kasuf got a message to us that many Abydonians had been taken, and where they were. We went to liberate them-- and Amaunet was there. We liberated the Abydonians and fought the Jaffa, and I went to confront Amaunet. But she got me in the grip of her ribbon device. Teal'c came in and had to shoot her to save my life. After that, I resigned from the SGC."

"Obviously, you didn't stay away," Vala murmured.

"General Hammond wouldn't accept my resignation. It took me a little while to realize it, but Sha're had sent a message through the ribbon device to me about the location of where she had hidden the child. She had taken the others as cover to take back her son. He was Harcesis, born with all the genetic information of his two Goa'uld parents."

"I remember the rumblings about the Harcesis when I was Qetesh," Vala said. "I remember the price on the child's head. I'm sorry you were mixed up in that. I hadn't heard anything more about him before the Tok'ra freed me, so what happened?"

"A few months after Sha're died, we found where Amaunet had hidden him. It was on a planet called Keb. He was in the protection of Oma Desala," Daniel continued his story.

"Wait, isn't she the Ascended Ancient who help you Ascend?" Vala asked.

"Yep, both times actually. It was at Keb where I first learned about Ascension. Anyway, I realized that Oma would better be able to protect the boy, so I left him with her. She helped him Ascend, I guess, and to surpress his memory," Daniel concluded.

"Did you ever see him again?" Vala asked, sympathetically.

"About eight months after leaving Keb, Shifu showed up on Abydos to learn about his mother, and Kasuf sent for me. Shifu had physically aged to about eight years in those months. We brought him back to Earth. The others wanted to try to get at the genetic knowledge he contained, but Shifu gave me a dream about how dangerous that knowledge can be. Then he turned into a glowing energy being and left. I might have seen him after that when I was Ascended, but I don't remember." Daniel shook his head to try to clear away the melancholy. "And that is the entire sad tale of my marriage to Sha're. Believe me when I say I know how you feel to see someone you love on the enemy's side."

"Oh, I believe you," Vala replied. She sat there in the silence for a minute to try to figure out what else to say. "Everything you just told me just makes me admire you more. You have such a strength in you that is awesome to behold."

"Some strength when I couldn't save my wife," Daniel moaned.

"You went looking for and found your wife's child. Even though he wasn't yours, you made a decision to do what was best for the child's protection. Not many men would do that. Tomin almost couldn't," Vala almost whispered that last part.

"What do you mean?" Daniel asked, puzzled how Tomin fit in to all of this.

"About what?" Vala returned.

"About Tomin," Daniel explained.

"Oh. The Prior told Tomin that the accident that had crippled him had made him unable to father children. He looked at me with such loathing and I could tell that he was considering renouncing me and leaving me to burn again," Vala anguished.

Daniel went to her and placed his hands on her shoulders for comfort. "How did you convince him not to?"

"I told him that if it was true that he couldn't father children then I had no idea how I had gotten pregnant and that I needed his support because I couldn't do it alone. That the child had to be a miracle from the Ori. I'm not sure he believed me, but he stood by me. Even then, I think it might have been just out of duty," Vala admitted.

"That's not what it looked like to me," he said. Vala gave him a surprised glance, and he continued. "I saw you with him on the Ori ship remember? I was hidden down by the bed and had a view of the two of you together. He seemed to genuinely love you."

"Not as much as he loves the Ori," Vala said ruefully.

"He also seemed hurt to see you get between him and me when he fired on me," Daniel reminded her.

Vala shook her head. "We were talking about you, not me. Not only did you take responsibility for your wife's child, you are on a team and friends with the man responsible for your wife's death. I think that says volumes for your strength of character."

"Teal'c only did what he did to save my life. It took a while, but part of the message from Sha're was about forgiving Teal'c. If she forgave him for not only shooting her but for choosing her to be a host in the first place, how could I not? Sha're was the strong one. I was just trying to live up to her example," Daniel admitted.

"Daniel, you may have been trying to live up to her example, and you have succeeded, but the effort requires strength. What will it take for you to see how extraordinary you are?" Vala tried to persuade him.

"I am not extraordinary. I am just a simple man trying to do what is right," Daniel stated.

"When you've been around the galaxy as much as I have, you would realize that that is truly extraordinary," Vala said chidingly. Then she looked at his face, and saw that he was actually blushing. Seeing how embarrassed he was, she dropped the subject.

Daniel had dropped his hands from her shoulders when the conversation had returned to him, and tried to bury himself in work again. Vala took notice and placed a piece of paper to mark the spot in his open book before slamming it closed.

"Oh no you don't. You are going to do one of three things and none of them involves staying in this lab," Vala insisted.

"What do you mean?" he asked, trying to give her the puppy dog eyes.

"Don't look at me like that, Daniel Jackson," she commanded.

"Like what?" He asked in mock innocence.

"Like you're a puppy and I just took away your favorite toy," Vala replied with a chuckle.

"It was worth a try," Daniel admitted. "So what are my choices?"

"First you can go home to your house and sleep," Vala said.

"I wouldn't get much sleep. I'd have to turn around and come back in less than seven hours. So, next option," Daniel shot down that idea.

"I thought that might be your answer, so option two is you go to your quarters here on base and get some sleep. That should give you plenty of time," Vala said.

"Not sleepy yet. So what is option three?" Daniel asked.

"Well option three is to accompany me to the commissary and have something to eat while we talk," Vala said as she wiggled her eyebrows at him. "Or maybe you can think of an option four?"

"Fine, let's go get something to eat," Daniel said resignedly. He got up, then paused at the doorway waiting for Vala. He extended his arm in a gentlemanly manner and Vala took it, practically gluing herself to his side as they walked out into the hall.

** The End **

Feedback to: maevebran@livejournal.com

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