Friends and Enemies Part 2
By: Stacy L.
Colonel
Jack O'Neill sat in the infirmary with his friend Doctor Daniel Jackson as
Doctor Fraiser examined him. She smiled then said, "Well Doctor Jackson,
you were lucky this time. I don't see any injuries. You appear to be perfectly
healthy."
She
then turned to Colonel O'Neill continuing, "Colonel, you told me he lost
consciousness?"
"Yes."
"For
how long?"
"Only
a few minutes."
"What
happened?"
"Well,
he went to investigate this circle of rocks. As soon as he stepped inside the
ring this bright light erupted all around him. It was so bright we had to cover
our eyes. When it receded I searched for Daniel and found him lying on the
ground unconscious. He came too shortly after that."
"Well,
he's perfectly fine."
"So
he can go?"
"Yes.
Although, Doctor Jackson, I would like to see you again before you leave just
to make sure everything is okay. If you feel nauseous, dizzy or develop a
headache then come back and see me right away. Is that understood, Doctor
Jackson?"
"Yes."
"Right
away."
"May
I go now?"
"Yes,
you may go."
"Thank
you."
Daniel
got up then started to leave the room. Jack jumped up, following his younger
teammate asking, "Hey, do you want to go out and grab a bite to eat?"
"No
thanks," came Daniel's less than enthusiastic reply.
"Come
on Daniel."
"No,
I'd rather be alone."
"Hockey...we
can go play some ice hockey... Come on Daniel."
"No."
"Well
you're no fun."
Daniel
glanced up at Jack O'Neill with a puzzled expression on his face as the two
continued to walk down the hallway towards his office. He wondered what was
going on. Colonel O'Neill wasn't acting like himself...in fact, he was acting
the complete opposite. This was definitely strange. He had suspected he was now
in an alternate reality. This man might not be the same Jack O'Neill that he
knew, but... He found that he had some great difficulty talking to the man
beside him: talking to the man who had quite literally rejected him without a
second thought. It made him so angry remembering what the man, now walking
beside him, had put him through. Did he even realize all the damage that his
rejection had wrought on him? Probably not and as that thought solidified
itself in his mind he replied hastily, "I'm going to my office for a
while."
"Research?
You're going to go do research instead of playing ice hockey with me? Daniel,
come on! Give those books a rest and have some fun for a change."
"Research
is fun for me."
Jack
rolled his eyes in response to that reply and decided Daniel had his mind made
up already so he said, "Okay, fine. Go research your...rocks. I will get
you to relax one of these days."
"I
am relaxed."
Jack
continued as if he hadn’t even heard Daniel's last reply, "Fine. Go spend time
with your...fossils, Daniel. I guess I'll just mosey on home and spend some
quality time with my television set... Daniel, are you sure you don't want
to...?"
"Yes,
I am sure."
"All
right. I get the hint. We'll do it another time. I'll see you tomorrow, Daniel.
Bright and early."
"Yes."
Daniel
watched as Jack O'Neill started walking away from him confusion very evident on
his face. He smiled suddenly as he heard a voice inside his head ask, "Now
what the hell was that all about?"
Anubis
headed to "Daniel's" office replying mentally, "I have no
idea, Daniel. It was very strange."
"Very strange? That couldn’t have been Colonel
O'Neill."
"Well, it
was."
"No way...that's not the Jack I know."
"He does not
seem as angry with you."
"Exactly."
Anubis
could feel Daniel's emotions regarding Jack O'Neill. His emotions regarding the
man who had once been his best friend were extremely strong. Daniel cared
deeply for the man even though Jack O'Neill had made it quite obvious to his
host that he wanted absolutely, positively nothing to do with him. The
rejection had hurt Daniel; it had hurt him badly. He’d kept his emotions in
check refusing to allow the Colonel to see just how much his obvious hatred
towards him hurt. Anubis often worried about his host, especially when O'Neill
was in close proximity to him. The closeness brought back all those memories of
death and destruction and brought back all Daniel's guilt for having hurt his
best friend so badly that he refused to acknowledge that he was even present
half the time. Jack O'Neill could be one cold-hearted son of a bitch when he
wanted to and he had never failed to let Daniel feel the full impact of that
coldness.
Anubis
spoke up, "Daniel, why do you still
wish to be his friend after all he has done to you? After all the times he has
hurt you?"
"Friends
don't give up on friends."
"Well, this one gave up
on you."
"But
that isn't Jack...not my Jack..."
"This Jack seems to
have some sense. He does not seem to be foolish in his actions."
"Anubis
stop."
"Your Jack did not help
you when you were in need of a friend. He does not deserve you, Daniel."
"Let
me be the judge of that, will you?"
"When will you realize
he does not care for you?" Anubis felt Daniel's sudden sadness as that comment
was spoken and he immediately wished that he could have taken it back. He knew
that he had hurt Daniel and quickly apologized, "I am sorry Daniel. I did not mean to hurt you so. I know that our
discussions concerning Colonel O'Neill greatly upset you."
"I'll
be fine."
"You forget, young one,
that I am in your body and that I can read your thoughts, your feelings, your
memories."
"And
you forget that I can also read yours."
"You have a
point."
Anubis smiled as he heard Daniel laughing inside his mind.
Daniel
and Anubis had had a shaky start in the beginning. Daniel had been so afraid
when Anubis had joined with him. Anubis had feared that Daniel would cause
himself more harm if he continued to fight against those restraints in
Anubis
had struggled long and hard to get through to his host, to get him to accept
their blending. It was a huge struggle and an extremely long battle. Daniel
Jackson was one hell of a strong fighter. Anubis didn't want to trap the young
man within his own mind forever, so he told Daniel of how they could switch
control at will. Daniel had given him the silent treatment, which had scared
the hell out of Anubis because he had feared that his host had given up. There
had been a time when he had to actually take control of his host just to keep
the man eating and drinking. Daniel had vowed that if they could never be
separated then they would die together. He had started to deliberately starve
and dehydrate himself in order to destroy the symbiote. Anubis had hated
forcibly taking control of his host to force the man to eat and drink, but
Daniel had given him no other alternatives. He had spent quite a long time
explaining his actions to him repetitively, and it was a long time before
Daniel even acknowledged that Anubis was there. Anubis gave Daniel control over
his body often to help him to understand that he was not a prisoner in his own
body, in his own mind. In doing so Daniel had slowly become more accepting of
Anubis. They continued to work at their relationship. Daniel didn't like the
idea of being a host but Anubis assured him that if he wanted to be separated
it was possible. He told Daniel to speak up if that was what he wanted to do.
Occasionally Daniel's thoughts would head in that direction. At those times
Anubis would step back into Daniel's mind as far as he could retreat to allow
his host some privacy. He knew that Daniel greatly appreciated his willingness
to accommodate him.
Once
Daniel had asked Anubis why he was so willing to give him control. He knew that
nothing of the host survived, or at least that was what they had been led to
believe. Anubis explained to Daniel how false that assumption was. When he
explained to Daniel how the Goa'uld would torment a host until the host would
become too beaten and too scared to come forward Daniel had shivered: the idea
of being made to be deprived of all sensory input, of being kept in constant
pain so that the Goa'uld could retain a stronger hold on its host, made Daniel
shiver at such sinister tactics. He had experienced none of that. Even on the
first day Anubis had directed pain to him and paralysis, but he only held it
temporarily. Daniel had drifted to sleep that day, not wanting to be sent to
sleep by the creature now inhabiting him. When he’d woken later that evening he
had expected to be completely cut off from himself, but such was not the case.
He was a silent observer but saw and experienced everything that happened to
Anubis while the symbiote was in control. He remembered when Anubis had been
wounded. He had felt that pain just as if he, himself, had been injured. Anubis
had talked to him then, speaking in a calm soothing voice easing his host’s
pain as well as his own pain in the process. On that day Daniel had discovered
that they were both equals. Anubis gave Daniel the freedom to experience
everything that he himself was experiencing. After that day Daniel had actually
started listening to the snake. He remained silent but listened when Anubis
explained to him what had happened and who he was. Anubis would tell him
stories and Daniel could actually visualize the memories. It was definitely
strange. He had all of these memories in his head but they were not his own.
Anubis never gave up on Daniel and continued to communicate to his silent host.
Occasionally he would hear fear in the symbiote's voice. One time Daniel had
questioned why Anubis sounded so afraid. Anubis had been surprised that his
host had actually spoken to him. Anubis then explained to Daniel that when he
did not hear Daniel he feared that Daniel had given up and had pulled himself
to the back of his mind. He didn't want his host to suffer in a silent prison
of his own making. When he had heard Daniel speak then he knew that his young
host was still with him and still very much alive. Daniel had actually been
touched by the fact that Anubis had never given up on him. Little by little he
would start talking with Anubis and little by little they became friends
instead of enemies. Now they had a good relationship. Sure they had their
differences and sure they would argue with one another but they had built a
strong foundation. Their biggest argument was always about Colonel Jack
O'Neill. Daniel still cared for Jack and still was his friend even though the
man had withdrawn from him and had been treating him more like an acquaintance
than a friend. Jack's behavior greatly bothered Daniel but he still found a
place in his heart where Jack was. Anubis couldn't understand this. He would
ask Daniel why he had never given up on Jack when it was so obvious that Jack
had given up on him. Anubis knew what had happened between the two for, when he
joined with his host, he acquired all of his memories. He could sense the
tension and sadness his host felt regarding one Jack O'Neill. Anubis didn't
like Jack all that much. In fact, he felt that O'Neill was a stupid fool.
In blending with Daniel, Anubis had learned just what a compassionate young man he was. He had also learned of the horrible guilt the man suffered. He had also learned that his host suffered from depression and insomnia, so Anubis set to work on changing that. Daniel had been relying heavily on drugs to help him sleep and to keep him from becoming extremely depressed when they had first blended. Now he no longer took either. Anubis was there when Daniel's nightmares would strike and he would speak softly to him calming him and would manage to quiet Daniel down enough that he wouldn't jump awake screaming. This was how Anubis had learned that Daniel had been listening when he had remained so quiet for so long. When he would start getting depressed Anubis would talk to him and reassure him. Daniel was happier now and calmer.
Daniel
was amazed with all the new information he had acquired when he had first
blended with Anubis. He had called it an information overload and had asked
Anubis how he could keep all that information in him. Anubis had laughed and
then told Daniel that he was worse. Anubis often wondered how a host so young
could have acquired the huge amount of knowledge Daniel had retained in his
head. The young man was indeed brilliant and, in blending with him, Anubis had
been rewarded with much knowledge. They were both lovers of knowledge. Both
Daniel and Anubis loved to learn and had an unquenchable thirst for it. Apart
they both had brilliant minds, but together their combined knowledge made them
a definite threat to the Goa'uld should their combined knowledge ever be discovered.
With their exchange and combination of knowledge Daniel was able to learn what
Anubis was: a species who was an enemy of the Goa'uld. They took hosts, but
only those who were willing hosts. Anubis was a Tok'ra. Daniel had never heard
of them until Anubis had joined with him. They were a very interesting species,
and Daniel was astounded at how much he now knew of them. The things he knew
were secrets that could destroy Anubis' race. He knew the dangers should he
ever be captured by an enemy. If he broke under interrogation his knowledge was
enough to destroy two races: the people of Earth, the Tau'ri, and Anubis'
people, the Tok'ra. Knowing the dangers he had asked Anubis to help him learn
how to better defend himself. Anubis told him that he now had that knowledge,
that upon blending with him he had acquired it. Daniel would practice to brush
up those skills and found that he, in fact, had acquired deadly accurate
fighting skills. He knew how lethal those skills could be. Anubis had the
fighting skills and Daniel the mind to put those skills into good use. Together
they would be very good at infiltration and evading capture.
Anubis
found himself glancing around the interior of Doctor Jackson's office out of
pure curiosity. He wondered about the other Daniel Jackson that owned this
office. Was he like his host or much different? Anubis found that he wouldn't
mind getting the chance to meet the Daniel of this world. As he continued to
survey the office he heard his host suddenly speak up, "Wait!"
"What Daniel?"
"That
picture..."
Anubis
turned to look at a table seeing a picture sitting in a frame. It was of a
woman they both knew. In the picture she was smiling; she was actually happy.
Daniel added, "That's a picture of Sha're."
"So it
is."
“We're
not in our world anymore are we?"
"You already know the
answer to that question, Daniel."
"Yes,
I do but it's just so..."
"Hard to fathom?"
"Exactly...so
how did we...that ring of stone... Could that have...?"
"It is possible... These
Tau'ri seem to know you..."
"Well,
what happened to me? I mean the other me?"
"Perhaps he is in a
similar predicament."
"Are
there devices capable of switching two people?"
"Yes...I believe that there
are. I have never seen such devices at work, but I have heard of such a thing
occurring."
"Then we have to switch back. We don't belong here
on this Earth...their Daniel doesn't belong in our world. We have to find a way
to switch back."
"There are mirrors that
are capable of sending someone or several people to an alternate
reality..."
"Alternate
reality? Now you sound like Captain Fraiser."
"Your Captain
Fraiser is not far off with some of her theories...though I have never seen a
device capable of switching two identical beings."
"Well,
I suppose it’s possible. Two beings of the same mass can't exist in the same
plane together long before experiencing a break down. If the Daniel of this
world was, indeed, here now we would probably already be experiencing the
effects."
"I
concur."
"Agree,
Anubis...it's agree."
"I agree."
"Yes."
Anubis
could sense his host was smiling at him. He smiled back. Then Daniel continued,
"We need to get back to our reality. We don't belong here and their
Daniel Jackson doesn't belong in our reality."
"Yes, it is obvious
that we must undo what has happened here, but how do we do that?"
"Great
question... Captain Fraiser would really be helpful right now."
"Yes, indeed she
would."
A loud
knock suddenly echoed throughout the room drawing Daniel's attention to the
closed office door. He glanced up saying, "Come in."
Anubis saw the visitor enter then suggested, "Perhaps I should remain in control, Daniel."
"No, no. I'll be fine."
"This is not your
wife."
Anubis added as he watched the woman who entered. Doctor Samantha Carter...or
rather Samantha Jackson. She was Daniel's wife in their reality. She looked so
much like Samantha Jackson that Anubis couldn't help but worry greatly for his
host. His host hadn't seen his wife since
Daniel
sensed Anubis' worries and quickly cast them away replying, "I know she
isn’t my wife. Give me control."
"As you wish,
but I will still be here."
"Big surprise," Daniel could hear Anubis
chuckle in response to that comment as he gave Daniel full control of his body.
As
Sam entered Daniel turned to her. She looked just as beautiful as his Samantha,
but he knew that this one didn’t belong to him. He focused on her, pushing all
those memories of his wife to the back of his mind. She was not his wife. This
Sam wasn't even his Sam.
She
interrupted his drifting thoughts saying, "Hi Daniel, how are you
feeling?"
"Much
better. Thank you."
"Good..."
Sam
looked at Daniel. She had sensed that he had a symbiote in him. She had no idea
if the symbiote was a Goa'uld or a Tok'ra, but she wasn't about to trust it
without knowing more. For all she knew the symbiote could have taken him
forcefully and was pretending to speak as Daniel while the host was now
trapped. She had to act soon. She kept reminding herself that she was about to
do the right thing.
Daniel's
soft-toned voice suddenly spoke up drawing her attention back to him,
"Sam, we have to talk. There's something you need to know..."
Sam
glanced at Daniel again then quickly pulled out a zat and aimed it at Daniel.
She hesitated for only a brief moment as Daniel yelled, "SAM WAIT!
DON'T!"
Then
Sam fired the zat gun at Daniel. Before she lost her nerve to do so she forced
herself to watch him as he collapsed and his body began to convulse on the floor.
Then she dropped to his side waiting for Daniel to speak. God, did she do the
right thing? She hoped so. She had no time to question her actions now though.
She had already discharged the weapon...what's done is done. Please let it have
been the right decision.
Daniel
had shouted at her in an attempt to stop her. He had no idea what that thing
was in her hands but had a feeling that it was some sort of weapon. The
knowledge of what it was started to surface in his mind but before he could
focus on that knowledge Sam fired. Daniel screamed in response and fell to the
floor writhing in pain as the zat gun's electric discharge wrapped and snaked
up and down the full length of his body. His body convulsed wickedly in
response to that electrical current now running over and through him. He could
suddenly hear Anubis screaming inside his head as extreme pain enveloped him.
Daniel became scared, terrified actually, as Anubis fell completely silent. No,
no this couldn't be happening! No, please no! He immediately started to yell
inside his mind for Anubis, but there was only dead silence. He felt himself
starting to grow a bit cold and focused on Sam who was now bending over him,
kneeling beside him. Why had she done this to him? Why? But he knew, or rather suspected,
it was because of fear. She feared the symbiote within him and didn't
understand fully what she had done. He could hear her saying, "Daniel,
it's all right. I'm here. Talk to me. Talk to me."
He
tried to focus on her and tried to respond to her, but all he could feel was
the coldness seeping throughout his body...nothing but coldness and emptiness
where Anubis should have been. Oh God, what had she done?
He
muttered, "You killed him...no please..."
The
coldness continued to wrap around his body, and he began to stiffen in response
muttering, "Cold...I'm so cold... What did you do? I was in control, damn
it! Please, tell me you didn't kill him!"
He
looked up at her with pleading eyes.
What
was wrong with him? Why was he acting this way? She questioned, "Kill who
Daniel? Kill who?"
"Anubis..."
As
he muttered the name Sam realized her mistake. She became extremely scared as
Daniel started going into shock. Oh God, what had she done? If this was, in
fact, an alternate Daniel then she could have done more damage than good. She
felt herself go cold as she thought of what he just uttered. What if this was
an alternate Daniel and the symbiote inside of him was a Tok'ra? What if he had
been a willing host and she just...
"Aw
shit Daniel! What have I done?"
Sam
felt for his pulse; it was rapid and weak. SHIT! She felt his skin, which was
becoming cooler to her touch, cooler and clammier.
She
recognized his symptoms as that of shock and quickly continued, "Daniel?
Daniel, stay with me here! Daniel!"
Daniel
tried to focus on her but found it extremely difficult. All he could think
about was that emptiness inside him self. Anubis was gone...she had killed him.
Oh God no! He couldn't handle losing him. Not now, not after all they had been
through and all they had done to get to this point.
He
focused briefly on Sam's beautiful face then muttered,
"Cold...I'm..."
Sam
looked at him with nothing but total concern on her face. Concern and fear were
very present in her right now. She began to gently stroke his hair in a
comforting gesture speaking softly, "Shh, shh, I know you are. I know you
are."
"Can't
sense him...can't... He was in pain...he..."
Sam
realized that this Daniel had become attached to the symbiote within him and the
thought of losing him was more than he could handle: when she had been
possessed by Jolinar her body nearly went into shock when she had died to give
Sam life. She had been with Jolinar only a very short time and had nearly died
when Jolinar had. She could hardly imagine what this Daniel felt like right
now. She had no way of knowing how long he had been with Anubis, but she could
see that he was having great difficulty dealing with Anubis' absence within
him.
She
continued talking softly with him, "Shh, shh...he'll be back Daniel. Just
give him a few minutes and he'll be back. He's fine. He's just stunned..."
"Don't
sense..."
"Shh...shh..." She watched as his eyes drifted shut and felt fear like no other clench at her heart. She yelled, "NO! Goddamn you Daniel, no!"
His
eyes snapped open again and she watched in stunned silence as his vivid blue
eyes flashed and sparked bright white. The symbiote was back.
He
glared at Sam yelling "YOU FOOL! If you would have just listened to him!
Daniel nearly went into shock! You are supposed to care for him not traumatize
him!"
Sam
swallowed hard pulling quickly back away from her friend. The symbiote was
definitely back and he was royally pissed. He continued, "Why must
everyone hurt him so? Why?"
"I...I'm
sorry...I didn't..."
The
symbiote fell silent and Sam watched him for a moment not knowing what to
expect next. Why was he suddenly so silent?
Anubis
had been stunned as the zat gun struck. He had clawed his way back knowing that
his host wouldn't understand what had happened and might possibly lapse into
shock upon no longer sensing his presence. He had tried not to become too
attached to his host knowing that if he chose to be separated the shock of
separation could kill him the closer their bond became. He hadn't expected
Daniel to be that attached and connected to him yet. He had tried to keep from
bonding too closely with his host knowing his original wishes were for
separation. Now he knew that the bond was extremely strong. Daniel would have
lapsed into shock if he hadn't returned full force when he did.
He
spoke gently to his host, "I am here, Daniel. I am here."
Daniel jumped in response to that voice. It was Anubis. Was he really here or...? He asked, "You...you are? You're not dead?"
"No I am not. I should have warned you. When a zatnicketel is used on a host it temporarily suppresses the symbiote allowing the host to speak freely."
"You
started to say something..."
"But
she fired the weapon before I could finish explaining what was happening to
you. A zatnicketel is a very painful weapon. The first shot stuns, the second
kills..."
"The
third?"
"Disintegrates."
"Ah...nice."
"Yes.
When she fired the weapon at you I was knocked unconscious...to you it felt as
if I was no longer present. I am sorry I did not warn you sooner."
"I'm
glad you're still here."
As
Anubis sensed his host calming and relaxing he suggested, "Daniel, why
don't you try to rest now? I will talk with her."
"But..."
"Daniel,
you almost went into shock when you feared I was no more. Our bond is strong,
much stronger then I ever expected. Sleep and I will tell you what we have
discussed later."
"Thank you, my friend."
"You
are quite welcome. Now rest young one, rest."
Daniel
smiled as he heard the nickname Anubis would often use to refer to him when he
was in pain or need of healing or comfort. He felt himself drifting asleep.
God, but he was so tired. He still found it extremely odd that he could sleep
when Anubis had control of his body. It was the oddest feeling and Anubis could
do the same. Daniel could sense when Anubis was asleep. He would try not to
move a lot when such was the case. Anubis often tried to sleep when his host
slept just so Daniel could have a normal sleep pattern. Anubis had explained to
him how one could sleep when the other was in control. It was the strangest
thing.
When
Anubis was assured that Daniel was, in fact, asleep he turned back towards
Samantha Carter saying, "Daniel is all right now. I have explained to him
what just occurred. In our reality the Tau'ri have not handled zatnicketels.
They have seen them in action but have never used them and do not know the
affects such a weapon has on a symbiote and on a host."
"Where's
Daniel?"
"He
is asleep."
"Asleep?
What?"
"He
has suffered a shock to his system. He was unprepared for what would happen if
we became separated. I have tried to keep somewhat distant from my host should
he ever decide that he would like to be separated so the shock would not be so
strong to his system. I misjudged just how close and how tightly we have
bonded. He was going into shock because he could no longer sense my presence
within."
"How
long...?"
"We
have been together for almost a year now."
"A
year? What?" Daniel had been a host to this Goa'uld for a year? This
definitely wasn't her Daniel.
Sam
found that she was so glad Anubis had returned so rapidly. Daniel had been
connected to Anubis for almost a year; no wonder he had nearly gone into shock
when he couldn't sense the symbiote within himself any longer. A year was a
very long time to be a host. Even if he wanted to be separated Sam doubted that
would now be possible without this Daniel surely dying during the separation.
She found it very hard to fathom. Daniel was a host...that was definitely very
hard to accept.
Anubis
drew her attention as he continued, "We were joined forcefully. Daniel was
an unwilling host.
"You?"
"Yes,
but I did not love her. She belonged with Osiris. He was killed, but I had
vowed to Osiris that I would protect her. She is the mother-goddess, one who is
supposed to be a protector. She changed after Osiris died by Set's hands. She
became angry and vindictive. I joined with her forces and worked my way up to
being her First Prime. She took an interest in me. She wanted me to become her
king and to rule beside her. Together we would rule over all the system lords.
When the Tau'ri were captured on Maline she immediately demanded that Daniel be
locked up separately from his teammates. My last host had been gravely injured.
"So
you took him unwillingly?"
"Yes.
I had no other choice. I am Tok'ra. I infiltrated
"Like
Hathor?"
"Yes,
she is much like Hathor. She is one of the biggest threats to the Tau'ri now.
Where once she was their protector now she is their enemy. Osiris' death and
her continual use of the sarcophagus afterwards have contributed to her
destruction. She plans to destroy the Tau'ri and the Tok'ra and to reign as
supreme system lord with me by her side. My job was to spy on her and pass on
information to the Tok'ra Resistance..."
"Was?
What happened to her?"
"I
am still working for her. She has not suspected me of being Tok'ra. In fact,
she believes my host is no more. I convinced her that I could fight my host so
that the sarcophagus would not have to be used to insure a successful blending.
Daniel and I have been working for the Tok'ra a while now...even though they
have no idea that I have since acquired a new host. We communicate via radio.
We were sent on a mission by
"And
Daniel just accepts being a host?"
"Doctor
Carter..."
"Major..."
"I
am sorry. In our reality you are a medical doctor."
"I...I
am?"
"Yes...Major
Carter, Daniel did not accept me right away. We have spent much time getting to
where we are now. Daniel despises the Goa'uld and hated the idea of being a
host. We have spent much time working at attaining the relationship and
understanding we now have. We still argue occasionally, but it is usually
regarding one particular person."
"Oh."
They
both glanced up as Teal'c entered inquiring, "Major Carter, are you in
need of assistance?"
"No
Teal'c. I'm fine. Thanks."
She
could see that Teal'c was very worried about her. She knew that he didn’t trust
the Goa'uld inside of this alternate Daniel. He also didn't like the fact that
Daniel was a host. The symbiote interrupted, "Teal'c? This is Apophis'
First Prime..."
"WAS
his First Prime now he's with us."
Sam
noticed a look of uncertainty crossing Daniel's features. Obviously Anubis was
just as leery of Teal'c as Teal'c seemed to be of him.
His
next comment served to confirm her guess, "In our reality he is still
First Prime of Apophis.
"I
see... Teal'c, this is Anubis. The symbiote within Daniel."
"Where
is Daniel Jackson?"
Sam
couldn't help but flinch just a bit at Teal'c's abrupt question. The question
sounded more like an accusation than an inquiry. Teal'c really didn't like this
Anubis much.
Anubis
seemed to be unaffected by Teal'c's tone of voice as he simply replied,
"He is asleep."
"Of
his own free will?" demanded Teal'c with a hint of skepticism lining his
voice.
"Yes
of his own free will."
Teal'c
didn't want to believe Anubis. He didn't trust the Goa'uld at all. He tensed up
saying, "If you harm Daniel Jackson in any way..."
"Teal'c!"
came Sam's voice. Sam said that firmly to remind Teal'c of whom they were
dealing with. He nodded his head as her simple utterance of his name served to
remind him that this man before them was not their Daniel Jackson but an
alternate Daniel.
Anubis
glanced from Sam to Teal'c then said, "I see that in this reality Daniel
has many more friends who would willingly fight for him. Sadly, such is not the
case in our reality. Daniel has very little true friends but he does have you,
Major Carter."
"What?"
He has her? Now what was that supposed to mean? She waited for Anubis to
continue. He answered, "In our reality you are his wife."
"What?
Why...why are you telling me this?"
His
wife? Daniel's wife? She didn't want to hear this. Why would he even feel the
need to tell her that? He told her more then she really needed to know.
She
looked at him puzzled as he answered, "So you will understand what is
happening when he reacts to you differently. Daniel and Samantha are very
close. They love each other deeply...and he greatly misses her. This could
create some uncomfortable moments for the both of you. I just wanted to let you
know to expect it."
"Oh...
We're married? Daniel and I?"
"Yes."
Married?
Did he say Daniel and her were married? In his reality yes...now that was a
very odd concept. They were more like siblings not...lovers. Daniel was very
attractive, yes, and very compassionate. She greatly admired him and cherished
him but as a friend not... Married? That was crazy...about as crazy as
discovering that in another reality she was married to Jack. Yes, this was very
odd and most definitely against regs...married? She couldn't comprehend that
idea. She questioned, "If he's married then where is his...?"
She
glanced at Daniel's hand noticing the gold band encircling one particular
finger then she touched it softly saying, "Oh..."
"Yes,
he still wears his wedding ring.
Sam
rubbed over Daniel's ring finger. She found it strange to feel the ring on that
hand under her fingertips. She felt extremely uncomfortable and a bit odd
knowing it was a wedding ring that Daniel wore. She also found it odd that the
ring on his finger is what tied her...or rather her other self to this
Daniel...married? It was all so hard to fathom. The idea seemed so strange and
foreign to her. She never viewed Daniel, or even Jack, in a romantic light...well,
she had at one time but she could never fall in love with either of them. It
would just feel too unusual to her. They were her teammates and her friends
that was all. She cared deeply for them both, but she would never get
romantically involved with either of them. It would just be too complicated and
right now the last thing she needed was complications in her life. She still
puzzled over that new information...Daniel wed her in another reality...
Different realities, different lives, different histories... She found that she
was extremely curious about this Daniel. He definitely was different. He
carried a symbiote within him and seemed very attached to it. Her Daniel...not
her Daniel, the Daniel of her reality, would never willingly become a host to a
symbiote whether it was Tok'ra or not. Too many times had the Goa’uld taken
loved ones from him: first Skaara then his wife Sha're...both made hosts to the
Goa'uld. Then he’d had that bad experience with the goddess Hathor who seemed
totally obsessed with him and wanted him to become her "beloved."
Then there was Sarah...Osiris had stolen her body, taking her forcibly as his
host. Daniel would never willingly accept becoming a host. He had too many bad
experiences and too many painfully fresh memories of the parasitic race to even
consider becoming a host.
Her
troubling thoughts must've shown on her face because Anubis spoke up, "I
am sorry. I have upset you. I can see that I have."
"No.
No, you haven't. I was just...thinking."
"Of
your Daniel?"
"Yes...no,
he's not MY Daniel."
"I
have upset you."
"No.
It is...it's just...hard for me to look at you and...realize that you
aren't...him."
"You
care deeply for your Daniel. Is it possible that you may love him also?"
"Yes...
No, I mean yes I love Daniel but not in that way. He’s my friend and I care
deeply for him. I love him as a sister loves a brother. He's family to
me."
"Could it be possible that you have considered taking your friendship with him a step further?"
Sam
fell silent. She became suddenly aware that she had to actually consider what
he’d asked her. No, she did not view Daniel as a potential lover...so why the
hesitation Sam? She abruptly halted those thoughts... This was ridiculous. What
was the point of all this any way? She loved Daniel yes, but not as...not in
that way. Why did Anubis insist on...unless he was only doing so to make
certain she would not hurt his host by sending him mixed messages?
Sam
quickly ended that train of thought by glancing at Anubis and responding,
"You’re very protective of him, aren't you? You care more for him than you
should."
Anubis
paused for only a few seconds. He noticed how she deliberately avoided
answering his question. Could this Sam have other feelings for the Daniel of
her reality that she was just too afraid to admit to herself? She had quickly
twisted the questions around. She became the questioner instead of the one
providing the answers.
Anubis
decided not to say anything about his observations or thoughts regarding this
woman's feelings for the Daniel of her reality. Instead, he answered her
question, "Yes. Daniel is very important to me and that is why I have
tried to keep distanced from him. His wishes were for us to be separated. You
have seen what will occur now if that is to happen and he still wishes it to be
so."
"He'll
die, won't he?"
"We
are connected strongly, much stronger than we should be. I am afraid that our
bond is now so strong that if it were severed now he could...he might not
survive."
Anubis
stopped as he heard Daniel's voice speak in his mind and could only freeze in
response.
Daniel
spoke, "Anubis, I no longer wish to be separated. I admit in the
beginning I wanted it so. I was so afraid and didn’t understand what had
happened... Our connection has grown stronger because I have allowed it to do
so. I know that you’ve been trying to remain distanced so that if my wishes
hadn’t changed we could be separated without my suffering as a result. I know
that you were holding back, but I did not. The reason I went into shock was
because I had feared you dead. If you die I will die with you. However, if I
should die then you will have the chance to continue living. I don’t wish to
lose you, my friend."
Sam's
voice interrupted as she questioned, "What's wrong?"
Anubis
could sense Daniel smiling as he continued, "Sam Carter is asking you a
question. Would you like me to answer her?"
Anubis didn't respond. Daniel knew that his words both touched Anubis and surprised him. He never expected his host to so openly accept him and he never expected his host to want to remain connected.
Daniel
took Anubis' silence as an answer and promptly stepped up to answer Sam's
inquiries.
Sam
watched as Daniel dropped his head then glanced up at her again in a gesture
she knew all too well. She was no longer speaking with Anubis; she was speaking
with Daniel…
He
said, "Nothing’s wrong. Anubis was just surprised when I awoke. He
expected me to be asleep longer. I’m afraid I surprised him with my last
comment as well."
"Your
last...you were speaking to him just now, weren't you?"
"Yes
I was."
"Amazing.
My father has talked often about having conversations with Selmac. It's just
so...odd."
"You
get used to it. Anubis and I have been together for some time now. I was very angry
and hateful towards him when we were first joined, but he never gave up on me.
He’d talk to me and tell me stories. He'd explain things to me but I wouldn't
respond. I pretended like I was ignoring him, but I know he knew I was
listening. He would speak to me when I was asleep and the nightmares would
become all too real and all too frightening. He knew that I was listening to
him because I would instantly begin to calm as he spoke to me during those
nightmares. Knowing I was listening encouraged him to speak a lot more to me.
Anubis has infinite patience when it comes to stubbornness. I don't know how he
could've put up with me in the beginning."
A
voice whispered through Daniel's mind, "Because even in the beginning I
could not help but care deeply for you, young one."
Daniel
smiled in response to that whispered comment. Anubis could sense Daniel's smile
and returned it then encouraged, "Daniel, you are still tired. You
should be resting."
Sam
watched him in complete silence amazed at the expressions now continually
crossing Daniel's features. She questioned, "He's talking to you now,
isn't he?"
"He's
nagging me...telling me that I need to get some sleep."
Sam
was amazed. She had never really watched her father communing with Selmac and
found it was very interesting to observe. She vaguely recalled her own
experience. Jolinar had spoken to her and had explained to her what had
happened and why she had entered her. Sam knew how odd that feeling was: two
minds, two souls, together in one body. It was such a strange feeling. Sam had
had Jolinar inside of her for only a short time. Jolinar had invaded her body
to hide so that she would not be murdered by a hired killer called an Ash'rak:
the symbiote had remained with her only a short time before the Ash'rak had
found her and had attempted to kill her. As a result of the attack Sam had
nearly died. In the end Jolinar gave her life so that Sam could live. After
that Sam had learned something of Jolinar still remained within her. She was
able, after some struggle, to control a Goa'uld ribbon device. She also was
left with memories, Jolinar's memories. Most of those memories were buried, but
she could recall some. She was even able to put those memories to good use when
SG-1 had fled Netu, the god Sokar's version of Hell: Sam's dad had been
captured by Sokar while on a mission so SG-1 went to Netu to free him. The only
way off of the planet was via the rings. Sam had had to tap into Jolinar's
memories to find the control mechanism that would help them to safely flee the
planet. No one had ever escaped Netu and lived to tell about it...except
Jolinar. Using a Tok'ra memory recall device to help draw Jolinar's memories to
the surface of Sam's conscious SG-1, her father and a Tok'ra by the name of
Martouf escaped successfully.
Sam
had never really understood the connection between host and symbiote. She had
always wanted to learn, especially since her dad was now a host to the Tok'ra
Selmac. Her short time with Jolinar was not a normal bonding. Jolinar had bonded
with her out of necessity and in the end died to give Sam life. She had been
shocked when Doctor Fraiser told her what Jolinar had done for her and, in
having experienced it, she found that she was inanely curious about what a true
bond was like. She was amazed at how this alternate Daniel dealt with having a
symbiote. He actually seemed to care for the symbiote now within him, that
other soul he now shared his life with.
* * * * * *
When
Colonel O'Neill called for Captain Janet Fraiser to come to Daniel Jackson's
temporary quarters, she headed down there immediately. She had been surprised
to learn that Daniel was back and even more surprised to learn that he was no
longer...inhabited. She had wanted to talk to Daniel and had waited patiently
for Colonel O'Neill to call her. When he finally did she quickly made her way
to the room Daniel was presently being held in.
She
knocked on the door and Jack opened it. As soon as he saw Captain Fraiser he
stepped out into the hallway, closing the door behind him. The look on his face
succeeded in making her worry for their teammate who had disappeared so long
ago. She questioned, "Colonel? What is it? What's wrong? Is
Daniel...?"
"He's
all right...sort of."
"Sort
of? What?"
"He's...different.
I wanted to prepare you before you talk with him. He's...this man is not the
Daniel that we have come to know. I don't know how else to explain this to
you...he's...different."
"How
so?"
"Well,
for one, he insists on calling me Jack..."
"Oh."
Now that took Captain Fraiser completely off guard.
Everybody knew of the strain between the two men. They had been close friends
once...they were no longer. In fact, any time the two were together extreme
tension filled the room. The tension became so thick that you could probably
cut it with a knife. They had exchanged words, hateful words, with each other
after that horrid trip to
It
was so sad to see them now. A good friendship destroyed because of a mistake,
an accident. Janet had hoped the two would eventually work out their
differences but any time they got close to doing just that the low blows would
begin. They would point out each other's weaknesses and faults. After that
things would get very ugly, very quickly. It just made her so sad seeing two
friends become total enemies.
She
looked at Jack noticing that he was very agitated. The differences in Daniel
must be very noticeable for Jack to have gotten that agitated. She spoke up,
"Let me see him."
Jack
nodded then opened the door. She saw Sam first then Daniel, who was up pacing
the small confines of the room. He was bothered by something.
Jack
glanced at Sam, and she shook her head when he pointed to a very fidgety doctor
pacing the room as if he was trapped...trapped? Oh God, did he... What if...?
Could this Daniel also have a thing about enclosed spaces? Jack spoke up
quickly, "Daniel..."
Daniel
didn't think he only responded to his name and that voice, "I'm going nuts
in here, Jack. I can't just sit in here looking at these walls all day..."
"Why?"
Daniel
glanced up and focused, truly focused, on Jack. Then he remembered that he was
in an alternate reality. He shook his head saying, "Never mind."
"Fine,"
came Jack's abrupt retort.
Daniel
looked up at him a bit irritated and most definitely hurt by the lack of
concern in Jack's voice. He knew that this was not his Jack but it still
angered and upset him hearing Jack speak so casually, as if he didn't give a
damn.
Jack
winced as he saw the glint of hurt in Daniel's eyes at his simple short reply.
Well, what the hell did the man expect?
Daniel
said, "That's it? No tell me about it? How can I help?"
Jack
stared at Daniel saying nothing.
Daniel
became angrier then continued, "What the hell happened between you and I,
I mean him, any way?"
“Why?"
"WHY?
God Jack, you're so cold and so angry! I can see the hatred, the loathing in
you when you look at me! The Jack I know would never, ever treat me the way you
are! What happened to you? Did Charlie's death destroy you?"
The
man before him paled noticeably and Daniel winced, silently cursing at himself
for having such a damned loose tongue at times. ‘Think before you speak,
Daniel. Think before you speak.’ When he glanced up at Jack again he saw
bitterness and anger.
Jack
yelled, "Don't even mention him! You have no right! You killed him
too!"
"Bullshit!
I didn't kill anybody! I don't even know you! You are not the Jack I know!
Don't you dare blame me for your son! Charlie shot himself with your gun; it
was no one's fault. No one's! You should know that! When we left for
He
looked at Jack waiting for him to answer the question. Jack only stood there
glaring at him. He was becoming very angry, very quickly. Daniel could see the
anger in Jack simmering just at the very edge. This man before him was not his
Jack, not at all.
Daniel
again merely shook his head sadly then continued, "You see that's the difference
between my Jack and you. He allowed me to help him to deal with Charlie's death
and Sara's leaving. My Jack wasn't afraid to trust again. He wasn't afraid to
actually CARE for someone again. Jack is a good man, and I'm sure that you are
too, but you have allowed your hatred to blind you. All you think about is how
I...your Daniel killed Skaara... Was it really his fault? Or was he just
someone convenient, someone you knew you could dump all your guilt and anger
on? Someone you knew would take on that guilt willingly because he still gives
a damn about you, about someone who despises him? He was a convenient way for
you to get rid of your guilt, wasn't he Jack? By making him miserable and
messing up his life you felt better about yourself."
"You're
making an awful lot of assumptions there, Doctor Jackson, when you don't know a
damned thing about me!" came Jack's snippy reply. What the hell gave this
man the right to stand there and lecture him? He had no right! NO RIGHT! Jack
glared sinisterly towards Daniel as the man refused to remain silent.
Daniel
didn't even seem to notice how angry Jack was and if he did he sure didn't act
like it as he continued, "No, you're right about that Jack, but I know my
Jack and I know how Charlie's death ate away at him. I know how guilty he felt.
I'd be willing to bet that where our lives differ is at that critical juncture
in your life. The juncture where you pushed me away when you had the chance to
open up and speak of your guilt."
"Stop
comparing us! We are not the same person!"
"No,
you're not. You see the Jack of my world would gladly die to protect any member
of his team, especially if it was me. You, I think you'd rather let me die and
your other teammates die then to stick your ass on the line to save them!"
Daniel
heard a gasp off to his right and glanced up seeing Janet Fraiser. Then he
realized what he was doing: he was letting his experiences with his Jack
influence him to try to help the man before him. He shouldn't have said
anything, but he just couldn't help it. When he looked at this Jack he saw a
lost soul, and he just couldn't stop himself from trying to help the man. He
looked so much like his Jack...but he shouldn't be saying anything to him. He
had no right to stand here and lecture the man, no right at all. But, of
course, Daniel knew he wouldn't stop. He sometimes had difficulty speaking
before thinking and this was one of those times. Daniel realized that he
couldn't take back any of the things he had just said. Unfortunately, you
couldn't take back words. Those words were now out there and they already
impacted on Jack. He could see the man was very angry and very outraged. Jack
never did like his faults to be pointed out, and apparently this Jack was no
different in that aspect. He knew the man was barely controlling his anger. The
situation was definitely very tense at the moment.
Daniel
didn't know what else to say, so he turned to Fraiser attempting to change the
subject and diffuse an already extremely intense situation. He quickly said,
"Doctor Fraiser..."
"Captain..."
"Captain...well
Captain, we have a lot to discuss."
"Such
as...?"
"What
do you know about alternate realities?"
Daniel
made himself focus on Captain Fraiser. He was all too aware of the very angry
man now behind him. He tried not to think of what Jack could do to him. He
sensed this Jack had much anger and rage in him and would be more likely to
lash out physically than to talk things over. Daniel waited patiently to see if
Jack would leave or grab him. He continued focusing on Captain Fraiser, but
could feel a sudden sense of urgency and warning nag at him.
Jack
was growing angrier by the minute. This guy had some damned nerve telling him
that he’d rather let his team die than attempt to save them! What gave him the
right to judge him? This man before him wasn't even HIS Daniel! He was from an
alternate reality! He had no right to pass judgment, no right at all!
Jack
felt his rage and anger escalate and before he could stop himself he yelled,
"DAMN YOU!" Then without thought he grabbed Daniel jerking him
violently around to face him.
Daniel
looked into the outraged face of his best friend. So, he had been right about
this Jack using physical methods to solve his problems instead of simply
talking them over. He could see that Jack had his fist raised in preparation to
strike.
Daniel
looked up at him, his anger matching Jack's. He couldn't help himself as he
questioned, "What? Do you want to hit me now, Jack? Will that make you
feel better? Well go right ahead, Jack. I dare you!"
Jack
hesitated. What the hell was he doing? This was Daniel for crying out loud.
They had been best friends. He would've never dreamed of hurting Daniel, ever.
Now here he was preparing to punch the man just for speaking his mind? Damn it,
this man before him wasn't even the Daniel of his world! Was he crazy? What the
hell was he thinking?
Daniel
saw the hesitation and continued, interrupting Jack's already conflicting thoughts,
"Can't do it can you Jack?"
Jack
glared coldly at Daniel preparing to strike, but he couldn't get his hand to
move. He cursed. God, even though this was Daniel he so wanted to punch the
man, but he just couldn't do it. God, what the hell was happening to him?
Daniel
drew Jack's attention back to him again as he added, "You can't do it
because you still see a friend when you look at me. You still care for him. I
can tell. You’re just too damned afraid to admit it. Jack, how could you have
been so foolish to throw away a friend because you wanted someone else to
suffer? I feel sad for you, Jack. I really do. And if you are anything like the
Jack of my world then you despise someone pitying you, but I do. I'm sorry. I
know those words probably hurt you, but I think you need to hear them. I think
it's about time you start listening to your heart and tear down that damned
wall of stone you’ve so craftily erected around you. If you never let anyone in
you'll die a very lonely man Colonel O'Neill. I sure as hell don't like to
think of my friend dying all alone because he was too damned bull-headed to
realize he was hiding behind that damned shield, that mask you obviously still
keep up. I'm so glad that the Jack of my world was, is, smart enough to realize
what he had been doing. Shutting everyone out is one way to handle things Jack,
but that way only leads to loneliness and despair. I think you need to take a
real hard look at yourself and at your life, Jack. You need to decide for
yourself if you'd rather remain alone or take a chance that your Daniel still
cares for you."
"Doesn't
matter if he does any way! He has a snake in him!" snapped Jack in
response. He hoped the damned man would shut up, but he didn't. Well now
obviously this Daniel and his Daniel shared one similar quality: stubbornness,
and not learning when the hell to shut up! Damn it! Go figure! He'd have to be
so damned lucky! Why couldn't an alternate Fraiser come through that gate
instead? Jeez, at least then he'd have some goddamned peace and quiet for a
change! He was drawn back to Doctor Jackson as the man continued, "Oh
that's right... You may have already lost your one chance at repairing your
friendship. So Jack, did you abandon him to the Goa'uld who made him a
host?"
"NO!
We were separated!"
Now
where the hell did that question come from and what gave him the right to even
make such an accusation? The man didn't even know him yet he had the fuckin'
audacity to stand there and accuse him of things! He found he wished Doctor
Jackson would just shut the hell up but, of course, shutting Doctor Jackson up
was an extremely hard task. Short of knocking the bastard out there was no way
to shut him down. Jack gritted his teeth and held his lips in a grim line
trying to hold back from killing the man while continuing to listen to Doctor
Jackson's endless ramblings.
"Ah
separated, and I bet you tried EVERYTHING you could to help him, didn't
you?"
Daniel
saw the answer in Jack's eyes. No, he hadn't done everything and he knew that he
hadn't. Shit Daniel, way to go! Point out the obvious to a Jack who’s probably
on a suicidal roller coaster. Good one Daniel, real good. Why couldn't he just
learn to keep his comments to himself sometimes? It was too late, for he
couldn't do anything about that now. Those words were already out of his mouth
and couldn't be called back. He looked at Jack noticing the pain and anger in
the man before him. He regretted his last comment, but it was too late to call
back those words of anger. He realized that by accusing Jack of not trying his
hardest to save his Daniel that he had pointed out a weakness in Jack, in this
Jack. Inadequacy was one thing that the Jack of his own reality sometimes had a
very hard time dealing with. He wouldn't be surprised if this Jack was the same
way. Usually when those feelings surfaced in his Jack they related to his time
spent missing in action. The time Jack's one Special Op's mission went sour and
he had become a prisoner. Jack still had nightmares about it and had told him that
sometimes he had felt a bit inadequate when the memories would surface again,
and he'd find himself reacting to them as if he were still there. Daniel would
tell Jack it was normal and talk with him. He knew a lot of those insecurities
were rooted there and also with his son. Jack had failed to protect his own son
by leaving his gun lying around the house still loaded. If he had been more
careful, more aware, Charlie might never have died, but he had failed and now
his son was dead by his own weapon. Jack felt as if he had failed as a father
and a parent. He failed to protect his own son and now the boy was dead.
Charlie would never be coming back.
Daniel realized his mistake. He should've never said what he had...especially to this Jack who was obviously still in that cycle of self-destruction. He only succeeded in reminding Jack of all the times he hadn’t done all that he could’ve to prevent a traumatic event from unfolding. Jack controlled his moods well, but Daniel could see that he was a time bomb just waiting to go off and maybe that was part of the reason he had done so little to help the Daniel of this world.
He looked at Jack immediately regretting accusing the man of deliberately abandoning his Daniel and of doing nothing to help him and quickly muttered, "I'm...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have..."
Jack
only inhaled deeply and left out a loud shaky sigh. His expression was
unreadable at the moment. He seemed like he was a lost soul. He seemed as if he
were stuck at the end of a tunnel and there was no way out.
Jack
spoke softer than before, "No, no. You're right about that. I could have
done a lot more for him then I did. It's my fault that Daniel was compromised.
I knew
God,
did Daniel ever feel guilty now. He had no right to speak his mind like that.
The man before him wasn't even from his universe and yet he just stood here and
lectured him. He had no right. Daniel suddenly wished he could take back
everything he had said. He glanced at the man before him, the man who was an
exact replica of his own best friend with the exception that the two had led
very different lives and had made different choices in those lives.
Daniel
shook his head saying, "No, it's not all your fault. Why do you try to
take on the guilt of the whole world?"
"I...I
don't," came Jack's simple reply.
Daniel
tried to bite his tongue and keep from reacting to that simple statement but
failed as he responded, "Really? You forget that I know Jack O'Neill very
well and you are exactly where my Jack was before
"I
don't have any issues!" came Jack's sudden forceful reply.
Daniel
flinched in response to hearing such rage come from Jack. He couldn't help it.
He felt his anger flaring up again. Damn it, why couldn't this Jack see that he
needed help, that he couldn't do everything all on his own? He knew that he
shouldn't speak up, but he was angry again. He replied, "DON’T YOU?
Bullshit! That’s total bullshit! I know you probably have nightmares of
Charlie, nightmares of past missions... Tell me do you have PTSD, Colonel? Jack
does. He'll wake up screaming in the middle of the night fighting invisible
demons, remembering horrible missions gone wrong. When it's not Jack screaming
it's usually me. Those issues are there Jack and they’re also in you. If they weren't you would’ve forgiven Daniel long before now.
Don't tell me you have no issues when it’s so obvious that you do. There seems
to be a lot of similarities between my Jack and you, as well as my alternate
and I. I'd be willing to bet we’re a lot more similar than you’d care to admit,
except that Jack and I are best friends while you and Daniel, your Daniel, are
worst enemies."
"I
am not going to listen to this anymore! I have things to do!" came Jack's
quick retort. As Jack turned his back Daniel spoke up without thought, "Go
ahead Jack. Run away. You seem to be rather good at that. Don't face your
problems. Run away, but you’d better get used to running because until you
realize the only way to help yourself is to confront those problems head on
you’ll never stop running."
Jack
turned rage-filled eyes on Daniel. Daniel found himself taking a sudden
unconscious step backwards. He was positive that Jack was about to strike him.
He prepared for the impact of what he knew was going to be a very painful
punch...but it never came… He glanced up at Jack and saw a mixture of emotions
crossing his face. Then Jack turned abruptly on his heels and left without
another word. Daniel didn't know whether to feel relieved, angry or depressed.
No, he was definitely not the Jack O'Neill that Daniel now called his best
friend. This man was angry, cold and bitter. He was full of rage. He was a lost
soul, and it hurt so much to see his best friend so...bitter and full of
hatred. He knew this man wasn't his Jack, but it bothered him so much to see
the man hurting. God, he had to do something...someone had to help the Jack
O'Neill of this world get back all that he had lost or the man himself would
disappear…
God,
this definitely was not his Daniel. This man was so damned infuriating, not to
mention this Daniel could practically read him like a book. Jack had felt fear,
strong fear. This man, this alternate Daniel, knew so much about him. He knew
Jack's weaknesses, his fears, his emotions and his shields. It was so obvious
that this Daniel knew him very well and that scared the hell out of him. It
scared the hell out of him and pissed him off at the same time. This Daniel
could see right through the mask. He could see those scars Jack kept hidden so
well from others. He didn't like looking into this Daniel's eyes because when
those intense blue eyes looked at him they were penetrating right into his very
soul. He never left anyone get that close to him, not even Sara, never. But
obviously the Jack of this Daniel's reality cared deeply for the young man
before him, deeply enough that he allowed the pain in the ass archaeologist to
see his true self. This Daniel wielded power over his alternate self. He knew
just where to strike to hurt him the most. Letting someone, ANYONE, get that
close to him was just way too dangerous. He vowed not to let the Daniel of his
reality ever get that close to him. He couldn't do it. He couldn't bare his
soul like that to another. Never. He had to get away from this man, and he
quickly did so.
Silence
filled the room as Jack stormed out. Daniel watched him leave as a mixture of
feelings ran through him. He then became aware that he was being observed. He
glanced up seeing unreadable expressions on each of the women’s faces and
sharply questioned, "What?"
"Are
you feeling all right, honey?" interrupted Doctor Carter unconsciously
adding the endearment on the end of her sentence it.
Daniel
looked at her with a mixture of feelings flitting across his facial features.
He replied, "Oh yeah sure. I feel just peachy. I’ve always enjoyed seeing
the man I consider my best friend on auto-destruct. I’ve always wanted to be
reminded of the Jack who accompanied me to Abydos with the sole intent of blowing
the damned planet and all of its inhabitants away on a slim chance that he
could destroy Ra and himself, in the process. I feel great!"
He
noticed Sam flinch at his response. She looked very worried and questioned,
"Daniel?"
"What?"
He
glanced at the two women who were both obviously now worrying about him. Daniel
quickly apologized for what happened, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry that was
really uncalled for. I just...I hate seeing... I can't stand seeing someone
who’s an exact replica of Jack looking that lost, that angry... He's on a
suicidal path, a self-destructive path. You know that. He's pushing everyone
away; he's closing off. I've seen this Jack before. The one who went to Abydos
and was so willing to blow it up because he himself wanted to die so badly.
What better way for a soldier to go then to get killed in the line of duty?
Never mind that his sole intent for going there was to kill himself and have
his death justified! The death of Charlie nearly destroyed the Jack of my
reality. He was reinstated with little choice in the matter. He drifted so far
from his wife that she eventually left him. He really didn't care all that much
what happened to him. He just wanted to do his job and cease living. When he
met Skaara and saw how much that boy respected him and wanted to be like him...
It was almost like he had Charlie back. When he would look at Skaara his whole
face would light up. It nearly killed him when Apophis abducted Skaara. Hell,
it nearly killed me when Sha're was also taken. We both lost important people,
but we helped each other through it. I don't understand why he’s so hateful
towards him? Why does he say that my alternate self murdered Skaara? What
happened on Abydos?"
Captain
Fraiser looked at the young man before her. He was definitely not the same
Daniel. Oh, he had a lot of similar characteristics but this Daniel was not
their Daniel. It amazed her to think that she might actually be looking at an
alternate Daniel Jackson. In fact, he was proof of that. He had traveled to an
alternate reality and now he was stuck here. He had to get back to his reality.
She
remembered his question and quickly provided an answer to it, "That
mission was a complete disaster. We destroyed Ra, but at a very high
price..."
"Skaara?"
"Yes...and
the ultimate destruction of a very strong friendship. Daniel and Jack, our
Daniel and Jack, can barely stand to stay in the same room together for long
periods of time. They start fighting and arguing. Colonel O'Neill is having a
very hard time dealing with you because you’re him, you’re Daniel, but you
aren't OUR Daniel. He isn't used to you being so...outspoken, passionate,
pushy...”
Daniel
gazed at her inquiring, “What’s he used to then? Meekness?” and tensed when Janet’s only
response was to fall completely silent. As uneasiness filled the room he found
himself tensing, wanting desperately to pursue the question when she abruptly
continued, “The two of you are very similar, but there are some definite
differences between you and the Daniel of this reality."
Licking
his lips nervously he asked the one question that was bothering him the most,
"What happened on Abydos?"
"A
lot of things that shouldn't have, Doctor Jackson...”
“Such
as?”
“Look,
things happened and people died... It was a horrible mission. You don't need to
worry about it."
"Yes
I do because he may not be my Jack, but I do care for him. He’s going to fall
apart if he doesn't open up to someone."
"He
won't do that, Doctor Jackson." Daniel couldn't miss the sadness in her
voice as she said that. He glanced back up at her simply responding, "Then
he's a fool."
Silence
filled the room and stretched uncomfortably. Doctor Carter glanced up at Daniel
again as soon as she heard his incessant pacing. She watched him pacing back
and forth like a caged animal, thinking of her Daniel. Her husband was still
out there somewhere. She missed him so much. Seeing this Daniel and knowing
that nothing romantic ever occurred between him and his Sam bothered her
greatly. God but she missed her husband so much. She nearly fell apart when she
was told of Daniel's fate...inhabited, made the host to a Goa'uld. She noticed
that this Daniel couldn't seem to stand still. He kept pacing back and forth
continuously. She remembered that her Daniel had an extreme fear of enclosed
spaces and being locked up. Could this Daniel have the same kinds of fears? His
incessant pacing was enough to send her every nerve on end. Her Daniel would be
screaming and banging at the door by now demanding to please be left out. She
had a feeling this Daniel was getting rather close to doing that right now. He
obviously didn't care for being cooped up too long.
Captain
Fraiser noticed the young man's movements too and also remembered Daniel's fear
of being closed in with no escape. She wondered if this Daniel had a similar
fear. She decided she'd rather not find out and questioned, "So what’s
this you were telling me about alternate realities?"
Daniel
stopped his movements long enough to look up at her with that intense blue gaze
of his then said, "What do you know about alternate realities? Better yet
do you believe that they exist?"
"Yes,
and you believe that you’ve traveled here to an alternate reality?"
"I
know that’s what this is. I've done it before. It’s very possible. You know it
is."
"Doctor
Jackson, we've only experimented with such things. We’ve never actually done
it... If this is true then why haven't you experienced any...?"
"Cascade
tremors?"
Captain
Fraiser stared at Daniel for a moment. Now how on Earth did he even know about
those? He wasn't an astrophysicist he was an archaeologist unless...
Daniel
interrupted her thoughts as he continued, "Entropic cascade failure occurs
only when there are two of me in one reality and it only starts to occur after
the first forty-eight hours."
"How
could...?"
"Sam,
the Sam of my reality, her alternate came to our Earth. She started to suffer
the cascade tremors. We had to help get her back to her own reality or she would've
died. All I can figure is that my alternate switched places with me and that's
why I haven't experienced it yet. He's not here, so right now presently there’s
only one of me in this reality. The same thing happened to me before. I was in
another reality but never suffered the tremors. I found out later that my other
self was...dead. Killed when the Goa'uld launched an attack on Egypt. I didn't
have the tremors then because I was the only Daniel in that reality. My other
self was dead."
"Switched
places? There are no devices capable of switching two beings..."
"None
that we know of... Look, I think that we...that somehow I switched places with
your Daniel. I think that he's actually...in my reality."
"How?
I can accept the idea that you can travel to an alternate reality but not the
concept of two individuals switching."
"I
think that ring of rocks on PQR-189 may have switched us."
"What
ring of rocks?"
"My
team had a mission to PQR-189. There was a huge circle of stones, monoliths
with Egyptian hieroglyphs written on them. The place looked like
Stonehenge."
"Stonehenge
I know of. It's connected to a lot of unexplained phenomena. What
happened?"
"What
happened was that I, in my curious obsession, stepped into the middle of those
rocks."
"And
something happened, didn't it?"
"Yes..."
"Well...?"
"This
bright light erupted all around me. I felt a charge travel through my body like
electricity and lost consciousness. When I awoke I was on the ground still in
the center of those rocks. My team wasn't there so, thinking they headed back
without me, I dialed Earth and used my GDO code to let Earth know I was coming.
When I stepped through the gate I was...here."
"But
stepping through the gate...the gate isn't capable of sending someone to an
alternate reality."
"You're
right. It had to be those rocks. It's the only thing that makes sense here. You
see I think that light was...a transport of some kind...and I was the catalyst
that triggered the device into action. I think I lost consciousness because we
were switching places...my other self and...I don't know. I'm just guessing
here."
"You
said you did this before?"
"Yes
twice. Not the switching part though. I touched this mirror and..."
"Mirror?"
Both Sam and Captain Fraiser looked at Daniel suddenly surprised. Daniel
continued, "Yes a mirror."
"How
did the mirror look?"
"Like
a slab of rock. It was odd shaped. The reflection wasn't right. The first time
this happened we were on this planet destroyed by the Goa'uld... P3R-233. I
investigated. I found this room full of artifacts that looked as if someone had
been gathering them and cataloguing them. I picked up this device and heard a
sound...that's when I saw the mirror. When I looked at it there was no
reflection of me in it. I touched it out of curiosity. I felt this surge, like
electric, travel through me then pulled away. I went to look for Jack, Teal'c
and Sam but they were gone. I did the same thing that I did here. I dialed home
and ended up discovering I was on an alternate Earth: an Earth that was being
attacked by the Goa'uld... The planet was wiped out, destroyed. I saw it
happen."
"So
how did you get back?"
"Sam
and Katherine."
"What?"
"They
both helped me to return home. They stalled the Goa'uld, allowing me to return
to the gate room. Katherine input the codes and I waited for the gate to finish
dialing up P2R-233. I almost didn't make it. The alternate Teal'c on that world
was still First Prime of Apophis. He shot me with a staff weapon right before I
jumped through the gate. I went back to the planet and used the quantum mirror
to return to my own reality."
"We
may have what you're looking for then."
"What?"
"We
have a mirror here. Although we don't know how it works... It could be the
mirror you’re referring to. The description sounds about right."
"The
only problem is that I’d have to search for a reality that closely resembles
mine and Jack had ordered our quantum mirror destroyed. If I were to touch your
mirror and was transferred... Our mirror was destroyed...I’d probably end up
either dead or trapped here."
"Okay,
well, how about going back to the planet and seeing if the same thing will
occur again?" interrupted Sam.
Captain
Fraiser asked, "Doctor Jackson, do you remember the Stargate address
for...?"
"PQR-189?
Yes."
Doctor
Carter perked up then suggested, "Well, why don't we try that then?"
"Because Colonel O'Neill will never allow it. He'll probably go to the General and talk him into denying Doctor Jackson access to the Stargate."
"Well,
he can't stay here. This isn't his world."
"I'll
talk to the Colonel. If he refuses...we'll find our own way to get you
back."
"Thank
you for helping me...and for believing me."
"You
might want to get some rest now, Doctor Jackson," suggested Doctor Carter.
Daniel
shook his head in response then said, "I'd much rather prefer to get the
hell out of this room."
Doctor
Carter looked from Daniel, who was still unconsciously pacing the small room,
to Janet. She said, "Captain, I think he needs to."
Captain
Fraiser looked at the young man who looked so like her young teammate. She
watched his pacing. He didn't even seem conscious that he was doing it. Her
young teammate didn't like enclosed spaces in fact he hated them. He couldn't
stand to be locked in. She wondered if this Daniel was the same way with
regards to that.
She
said, "Let him out. I'll probably be royally lectured by Colonel O'Neill
later today but..."
"Doctor's
orders, Captain. If he has a problem with it tell him to come see me. It’s my
medical assessment that Doctor Jackson needs to be able to move about."
Daniel glanced up a grateful smile on his face. Then he said, "Thank you... Uh, you wouldn't happen to have some...coffee now would you? Loaded with caffeine? Lots and lots of caffeine, please."
Captain
Fraiser laughed before responding, "Now that's our Daniel talking for
sure. He loves his coffee."
"So
do I," responded Daniel with a wide grin on his face. He followed Captain
Fraiser to the coffee room and helped himself to a cup. Then he questioned if
he could have some time to himself. Captain Fraiser told him that he could go
to Daniel's office. Daniel felt a bit odd heading down the similar hallway
towards an office that was marked with his name but wasn't his. This alternate
reality stuff was really starting to bother him. He shrugged and stopped before
the door marked with his name. Then he entered the office and flicked on the
light. He needed some time alone. He needed some time to think about his
situation, about what had happened and about the intense situation between the
Jack and Daniel of this world.
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