Jack and Daniel     SG-1 Team

 

                                                                                    Friends and Enemies Part 3

                                                                                                                                                   By:  Stacy L.

 

 

Major Samantha Carter had to talk to her CO. She had to tell him that this Daniel, the Daniel that returned with them from PQR-189, wasn't their Daniel. She had to tell him that Daniel possessed a symbiote within him. But how could she tell him something like that? He has to know. He has a right to know. She had spent last evening speaking with Daniel, the alternate, and his symbiote. She found the discussions interesting and found that she liked this Daniel almost as much as her own. She also actually liked Anubis. Now that was a very scary thought seeing he was a parasite within a human. She really missed her Daniel though. She kept hoping that he was safe and that he had only switched places with his alternate. She convinced herself that is what happened not wanting to even consider that he may now be dead. She hasn't yet told Jack about Daniel and she knew that she had to. She saw Jack heading down the hallway and decided that now was as good a time as any, "Sir?"

 

"Hi Carter."

 

"I need to speak with you."

 

"Sure, no problem." Jack watched her expectantly waiting patiently for her to begin. She didn't say anything instead she glanced at him nervously then added, "Alone."

 

"Sounds serious." Jack could tell that something was definitely bothering Major Carter. He became even more worried when she responded to his last comment, "It is."

 

"About what?" Jack questioned. His worry only continued increasing by the minute and as she answered his question his worry tripled, "Daniel."

 

Jack stopped what he was doing and gave her his full attention saying, "What about Daniel?"

 

"Privately sir."

 

Jack nodded in response to her request then followed Sam to her lab, opened the door and commented, "After you."

 

Sam entered her office then waited for the Colonel to close the door. Once it was closed Jack turned to her inquiring, "Now what's this about Daniel?"

 

"He... Daniel isn't who you think he is."

 

"What? Carter this is ridiculous." Daniel wasn't who he thought he was? What the hell was that supposed to mean? What was Carter talking about?

 

Sam continued, "When we left PQR-189 we brought back a...stowaway if you would."

 

"What? Carter, make sense here."

 

"That light and those stones... They didn't just knock Daniel unconscious."

 

"What?"

 

"They...something happened. They did something to Daniel. He was...switched."

 

"WHAT?" He was switched? The stones did something to Daniel? Jack became even more concerned as he tried to grasp what Carter was telling him. He glanced up as she attempted to answer his question, "Switched sir, Daniel was switched. Some how our Daniel switched places with an alternate reality Daniel."

 

"WHAT? No, that's impossible. Only those mirrors can do that and I ordered ours destroyed."

 

"Sir, this Daniel...he carries a symbiote within him. I've sensed it even have spoken with it as has Teal'c..."

 

"A symbiote? No." The Daniel that accompanied them through the Stargate has a symbiote in him? No, Jack didn't want to believe that, but if Sam and Teal'c both sensed the symbiote then it was true. Which meant that Daniel was now missing. No, how could this be happening? How could the Daniel that was now with them not be...their Daniel?

 

"The symbiote is a Tok'ra by the name of Anubis."

 

"But..."

 

This couldn't be happening. Where was their Daniel? He only half listened to Carter as she continued. He was very worried for their now missing young friend. God, what if Daniel was hurt or in danger? What if he couldn't make it back? What if...? Jack slammed a door on those thoughts. He would be no good to Daniel if he continued to think of all the what ifs in this situation. He had to relax. Sam said that they were switched. Okay so Daniel could probably switch back, right? She said that Daniel was in an alternate reality... Okay, Daniel has traveled to parallel worlds before. He would be just fine. He had to be. His attention was drawn back to Sam as he quieted his own fears. He focused on what she was saying, "Our Daniel would never willingly accept a symbiote. We both know that and we both know why. An X-ray would probably show the symbiote if you don't believe me."

 

"So what do we do?"

 

"The only thing I can think of would be to go back to PQR-189 and hope the circle of stones will reverse what they've done."

 

"So let's go," Jack replied enthusiastically. At least he would be doing something to help locate Daniel. Maybe she was right, maybe all they needed to do was go back to that planet and retrieve him. Anything would be better then sitting here and waiting.

 

Sam quickly doused Jack's enthusiasm as she added, "Slight problem sir."

 

"Which is?" Great, now what was the problem? What was Sam so worried about? This would work...returning to that planet had to work. Sam added, with her usual knack of pointing out the obvious, "We have never run into this problem before. They switched places. Something else is going on here, sir..."

 

Shit! Sam was right, as usual. They never have had this problem before. They had no idea what caused the switch to occur. That could mean only one thing: they couldn't help Daniel if they didn't know how he was switched in the first place. Damn it there had to be a way! There just had to be!

 

Sam continued, "Sir this Daniel described that planet perfectly, but he called it Tethys."

 

"Tethys? I know that name."

 

"You would. I believe it's the name of one of Saturn's moons but in this situation it's the name of a planet. I believe that what this Daniel is calling Tethys we’re calling PQR-189."

 

"Okay so what's the problem?" Where was Sam going with this line of thought? One thing he had learned about her over the years is that, much like Daniel, Sam took the long way around the obvious. She knew what she wanted to say, but she wasn't exactly sure how to word it in such a way that it could be coherent. Sam and Daniel's minds worked on a much higher level than Jack's did when it came to problem solving. They both had minds that traveled rapidly, jumping from one idea to another until all those thoughts could come together in an organized manner. Jack had grown used to the way Sam and Daniel thought through things. It always awed him to watch the two working together, or even separate, on a problem. They were both fascinating to watch when an idea formed in their minds. Daniel and Sam could get so caught up in figuring something out that they would both lose track of time and forget there were other things they needed to take care of. Jack and Teal'c sometimes ran themselves ragged trying to keep the two scientists eating, drinking and sleeping when problems nagged at them. They both could get so wrapped up in a problem that everything else just kind of fell to the wayside. Of course, Daniel was much, much worse than Sam was in that particular area. But even with Sam sometimes it took a lot of running on Jack and Teal'c's part to keep her healthy, as well. Jack smiled as he thought of how involved his two teammates could get when faced with a problem. He was very glad that they were both members of his team. Without them, Jack's team would be in a lot of trouble. Jack jumped as Sam's voice broke into his thoughts... Now what was she talking about? Oh right, she was trying to explain why this was happening.

 

Sam noticed Jack drifted a bit, so she said his name louder. She smiled when he focused on her. When she was sure that she had his undivided attention again she attempted to continue, "Daniel says that Tethys was the planet he was on when him and our Daniel switched places," she looked at the Colonel waiting to see if comprehension was dawning on his face, prepared to explain the problem to him better if he still didn't realize what it was. Obviously Jack wasn't following her line of thought and it hadn't helped that he had drifted for a moment there. Sam said, "Okay... This of course is all theoretical, but what if...that circle of stones is like the quantum mirror...capable of sending someone to an alternate reality...?"

 

"Carter..."

 

"Bear with me, sir... What if Daniel was never supposed to switch places with his alternate? What if those rocks, that circle, was supposed to only send someone to an alternate reality, not switch them completely?"

 

"Carter?"

 

"Yes sir?"

 

"Just say what you want to say."

 

"All right... What if they were never supposed to switch places?"

 

"But they did."

 

"Right... What if that was a fluke? What if...I don't know, what if having two Daniel's on the same planet at the same time some how messed up the space time continuum?"

 

"What?" Jack was now looking at her with one of his thoroughly confused expressions.

 

Okay, how better to explain this? Carter continued, "What if that ring of stone is like the quantum mirror, capable of sending someone to an alternate reality? Our Daniel was on PQR-189 at the same time that the alternate Daniel was on Tethys. If PQR-189 and Tethys are the exact same planet...and from the description they are virtually identical with the exception that we gave the planet a different name...what are the chances of that occurring...the chance that our Daniel and an alternate of his would be on the same planet at the same time? What are the chances that our Daniel stepped into the center of that circle and disappeared while his alternate was also on the planet but in a different reality? If that is truly what happened then couldn't such a coincidence some how...cause the switch to occur? Couldn't it be possible that an odd scenario like this could create some kind of time anomaly?"

 

"Carter, I have no idea what you're talking about."

 

"Basically, having two Daniels on the same planet at the same time only in different realities could've messed the...what the rings were trying to do, sir. Since they were both in such close proximity to the circle of stones and they both were there around the same time... They were switched when they weren't supposed to be."

 

"This all sounds very...confusing... So Carter what you’re saying is because Daniel was so close to his...other self when he got beamed their closeness to the rings in both realities created a problem... Instead of just sending our Daniel to an alternate reality the power, if you would, of the rings switched them?"

 

"Yes."

 

“Does that mean we may never get our Daniel back?" God, Jack hoped not. He needed Daniel here. Please let Daniel not be lost in an alternate reality for the rest of his life.

 

"No, no. This is all just theory, sir."

 

Jack sighed in relief as Carter said that. He still felt a bit uneasy though. Daniel was out there and if Carter's theory was right...things didn't sound very promising for the young archaeologist. Jack voiced that opinion without thought, "Well, whether it's theory or not it doesn't sound good for Daniel."

 

"Okay just forget what I said."

 

"Forget? You felt strong enough to say it."

 

"All I was trying to say is that going to PQR-189 would probably send this Daniel back to his reality but not switch them back."

 

"Carter, let's just stay optimistic, shall we? I need to know that we have a chance of getting our Daniel back if what you're saying has actually happened."

 

"Oh it happened sir. Talk to him. You'll find that he's not the same Daniel we left on PQR-189."

 

"Talk to him? Where is he?"

 

"Still in Daniel's office, sir." Jack nodded then left heading for Daniel's office.

 

Carter sat down allowing her thoughts to wander for the moment. Oh, he was definitely not their Daniel. In another reality, another world, she and him were married. She was married to Daniel Jackson... No, that just sound so...wrong ...but obviously it had happened, just like her alternate self in another reality was married to Jack. It happened...but it was so strange to even contemplate. Sam shook her head to clear it and attempted to focus her thoughts elsewhere.

 

                                                                                                         * * * * * *

Captain Janet Fraiser searched for Colonel Jack O'Neill. She knew that he wouldn’t be in the greatest mood. The confrontation between him and Daniel would still be very fresh in his mind, but she had to speak with him. She entered the briefing room seeing Colonel O'Neill sitting staring into space. She spoke, "Colonel O'Neill?"

 

"Go away!"

 

Two words. Okay that was better than silence, even though the words were yelled. Captain Fraiser straightened and approached the Colonel, encouraged by those two words. Usually in these situations if O'Neill refused to respond after several attempts at a conversation you could just forget about him speaking at all. If he said a word or two...you could get him talking...at least there was a chance that he might speak. Captain Fraiser stopped behind Colonel O'Neill. He snapped, "Didn't I order you to leave me alone, Captain?"

 

"Yes sir, but I'm not going to obey that order."

 

"WHY?"

 

"Why? Because we need to talk."

 

"There’s nothing to talk about."

 

"Oh, I think there is...Daniel Jackson." She watched Colonel O'Neill to see how he would react to the name. She saw his jaw tense up even more and he balled his hands up into fists…okay, so getting him to discuss what had just happened was going to prove a tad bit...challenging. Well, she could handle that. She focused on him completely when he snapped, "DON'T! Don't even say that name!"

 

"I'm afraid I can't follow that order either, sir. Whether you want to or not we must speak of Doctor Jackson."

 

"There's nothing to say!"

 

Captain Fraiser noticed immediately how Colonel O'Neill quickly skirted the issue. Okay, he really didn't want to discuss Daniel. She decided to take another approach. Well, maybe she could get answers if she also hedged the issue just a bit. She commented, "Sir, he can't stay here..."

 

"Sure he can..." came Colonel O'Neill's quick retort.

 

"Sir, this isn't his reality. He needs to get back to his own world."

 

"Alternate realities? That is the most outrageous..."

 

Well, the roundabout approach wasn't working very well either. The man was just too damned stubborn for his own good. It was so obvious to her that he didn't want to discuss Daniel at all. She’d have to draw him out. She’d have to make him discuss what had transpired between Daniel and him. She decided to just delve into the topic cutting him off with a reply of her own, "Colonel, I know that you’re angry right now. Some of the things he said were uncalled for. He was wrong but..."

 

"NO! That's just it! He wasn't wrong about anything!"

 

Captain Fraiser fell completely silent shocked that Colonel O'Neill would even admit to some of Daniel's comments being correct. She asked, "What?"

 

"Whatever happened between him and his Jack...I don't know...I, I mean he let Daniel Jackson get extremely close to him. No one knows the things that man knows about me...not even OUR Daniel knows me that well. It's..."

 

"Scary? Scary that anyone could get that close to you? Perhaps him getting sent here has a purpose."

 

"WHAT?"

 

"I’ve always believed that everything happens for a reason. We may not know the reason or understand the reason but it happens. Everything that goes on in our lives happens for some reason or another. Maybe this Daniel being switched happened so that you could reevaluate the friendship you chose to destroy."

 

"I don't want to talk about it!" came Colonel O'Neill's biting response.

 

"Colonel, it wasn't all Daniel's fault that Skaara was killed. We all were responsible...not just him."

 

"Didn't I just tell you that I don't want to talk about it, Captain?"

 

"Yes, you did but I think you need to discuss it."

 

"No I don't."

 

"I think you do."

 

"Captain..."

 

"Colonel we have a problem, a serious problem. A team is supposed to work together not be at each other's throats all the time. We need to be able to rely on each other and trust each other..."

 

"Our team is fine."

 

"No, it isn't. I can't trust everyone on our team."

 

"Jackson wouldn't fail you."

 

"It's not him I'm worried about, sir. I trust Daniel with my life. I know that I can rely on him to help me if I get into danger. Daniel's commitment to the team, his reliability, was never a question in my mind even after the Abydos mission. I know what type of person Doctor Jackson is..."

 

"So who's the problem?"

 

Captain Fraiser fell silent but Jack knew that she wanted to say him. He hated that. He was their CO for crying out loud! He has a responsibility to his team members, all his team members. In time of battle he couldn't be ruled by hatred and anger. He couldn't allow himself to be biased towards any member of his team. He thought he did well with that but obviously he didn't. He had failed. He failed his team, he failed Doctor Jackson and he failed himself. Doctor Jackson should've never been compromised on that mission to Maline. When he was captured and separated Jack had known that could only mean one thing: Jackson had been singled out for a purpose. He should've done whatever he could to help the young man, but he hadn't. In fact, he didn't really think of the danger to Doctor Jackson until it was too late. His mind flashed back to that mission...

 

Before they had departed for Maline Doctor Jackson and him had another one of their classic fights. The kind that made everyone flee the area immediately. The kind of fight that grew ugly very fast. Jack couldn't even remember what had started the fight. Neither of them should've been sent on that mission. Neither of them had been fit to go off-world, especially to meet and greet a planet of people they were in the process of forging a peace treaty with. Why would you send a team through to do peace talks when the members of the team itself couldn't even be civil to one another? Jack had left his anger build that day. He had noticed that, as usual Doctor Jackson quickly pushed those feelings of anger and rage to the back of his mind. He could do that push his feelings aside to deal with them later at a more convenient time. Daniel had known they needed to finalize the treaty so he temporarily buried all of his anger and rage to get the job done. Jack wasn't as good at pushing those emotions to the side, as Doctor Jackson so often did, and it pissed him off even more. He had been so angry with Doctor Jackson that, for the briefest minute, he had felt extremely glad to see the man led away as a captive...that brief moment in time served to chill him to the bone and served to haunt him even while asleep. One more nightmare, one more reminder to add to all the other mistakes that he had made in his lifetime. How could he be such a cold-hearted bastard to wish any ill harm to come to Doctor Jackson? At that moment in time he knew he really had no right to be a CO, no right at all. He had failed to do anything to help Doctor Jackson after that, feeling guilty and grossly inadequate when the realization that he had let bias rule, only for split second, struck him. Daniel Jackson paid the consequences for Jack's failure.

 

When he was told of what had happened to his young teammate and ex-friend he couldn't move, couldn't think, couldn't even breathe as nausea overwhelmed him. Doctor Jackson had been forcibly made a Goa'uld host and it was all Jack's fault, all his fault. But even after that fateful day Jack was still very angry with the man. He knew he needed to place the blame on someone else or he'd never be able to deal with it so he did as the alternate Daniel had said. He cast the blame on Doctor Jackson because that was the only way he could live with himself and with his failure. He couldn't even face Doctor Carter half of the time. He had a hard time looking at her knowing that because of him she had lost her husband, her one true love. He felt that Doctor Jackson didn't deserve her. He felt she had made a bad choice in a husband, but he couldn't deny that facts: Doctor Carter was happier than she had ever been when she was married to Doctor Jackson. She loved him deeply and he, in turn, deeply loved her. They were perfect for one another. Jack just didn't like to admit it. Now she grieved for that lost love. He noticed immediately how hard it was for her to face the alternate Daniel knowing that he was not her Daniel. When Daniel had called out for Sha're in his sleep and had told Doctor Carter that he missed her Doctor Carter had flinched finding it extremely difficult to look at this Daniel whose love was for a dead wife, for Sha're, and not for her. It hurt her, but she knew that she had no right to be angry with him. In his reality they were teammates and close friends not husband and wife. The Daniel that was with them now was deeply in love with an Abydonian woman who was now deceased in his reality. Jack was no fool. He could tell the Daniel now with them had been deeply in love with Sha're...and just like Doctor Carter had no right to be angry with this Daniel neither did he.

 

Jack suddenly realized that ever since this Daniel appeared here he has been treating him like the plague: ignoring him, being brisk with him and just barely civil to him. He had seen hurt in the man's blue eyes when he had acted so hostile. This Daniel cared for Jack, his Jack, deeply. They were best friends and cared deeply for one another. When he looked at this Daniel so full of life and spirit, so free, he felt sad and upset for their Daniel. He saw hope in Daniel's eyes. A chance at reforming a bond of friendship that should've never been broken in the first place...but his Daniel was gone, a host to a Goa'uld, on another Earth.

 

                                                     * * * * * *

Jack O'Neill hesitantly approached Daniel's office still a bit shocked by the news Major Carter had delivered. This was an alternate Daniel? One who possessed a Goa'uld larva? Jack shook at those thoughts then knocked on the door. He heard the voice of his friend inviting him to come in. He stepped into the room. Daniel Jackson looked up at Jack then glared coldly at him. Whoa, this definitely was not the Daniel he knows! Jack could almost feel the coldness increase in the room as Daniel looked at him with those eyes full of bitterness and anger. He found himself quickly wondering just what happened to the man to put that rage and hatred in those eyes. Jack hesitantly questioned, "Do you mind if I...come in?"

 

"Yes as a matter of fact I do," came Daniel's quick reply.

 

Whoa, this definitely wasn't his Daniel. This Daniel sounded a bit angry with him. Forget angry, this snake was very pissed with him. He looked at Jack as if he were nothing. Damn, what the hell was with this snake? Why was he so outraged? He recognized the Goa'uld voice immediately. He wasn't too keen on hearing that voice coming from his friend. So the symbiote was presently in control? He was a Tok'ra, or so Sam had said, which meant that he’d willingly allow Daniel to speak. Jack quickly discovered that he would rather talk with the host than the snake residing in his friend right now. Jack cleared his throat then asked, "May I have a moment with Daniel?"

 

"No," came the symbiote's abrupt reply.

 

"No? Why?" Jack stared wondering just what the hell this snake was up to. Why the hell wouldn't he allow Daniel to speak freely? Had the parasite lied about being a Tok'ra? God, Jack hoped not. He hated to think of his friend being possessed by any Goa'uld but if he had a choice in the matter he would definitely want Daniel to become a host to a Tok'ra. At least then Daniel would have some freedom and not be trapped in his own mind and body.

 

The symbiote quickly replied, "Because."

 

Because? That was all the thing had to say? Because? He couldn't speak with Daniel because...because why? What the hell was the snake trying to pull? Damned snake had lied! Jack said, "So all that talk about you being a Tok'ra and..."

 

"My host is presently sleeping, Colonel O'Neill," came the symbiote's harsh reply. Jack couldn't help but notice that this Goa'uld didn't like him all that much. Oh that was great, just great. Jack inhaled deeply then asked, "Which means what exactly?"

 

"Exactly what I said. He is sleeping."

 

"You suppressed him, didn't you? You slimy..."

 

"No Colonel O'Neill, my host is resting. I did not do anything to him. He was tired so he decided to rest...of his own free will, Colonel."

 

"Right and I'm supposed to believe you?"

 

"Yes you are," replied Anubis with a very distinct edge of rage lining his voice.

 

"How do I know that you're not holding him prisoner in his own mind?"

 

Daniel's eyes flared bright white as anger filled Anubis. He glared at Jack O'Neill and felt the stirrings of his host. How dare this man before him accuse him of deliberately imprisoning his host! He had some damned nerve! The bastard! Anubis felt his anger begin to subside a bit as he heard Daniel's muttered whisper, "Anubis...are you all right?"

 

"Yes young one."

 

"You seem angry."

 

"I am fine."

 

"Are you sure?"

 

"Yes Daniel, I am sure."

 

Anubis glanced back at Jack then continued, "Rest young one. Go back to sleep. I am fine."

 

"You're sure?"

 

"Yes I am."

 

"'Kay."

 

Anubis smiled tenderly as he heard Daniel's sleepy voice responding to him. His host meant a great deal to him and he cared deeply for the man he now shared his life with. Anubis could sense Daniel calming and drifting asleep once again. He then focused on Colonel O'Neill who was looking at him with a puzzled expression on his face. Anubis said, "Colonel O'Neill..."

 

"Young one? What...?"

 

"Colonel..."

 

"Who are you calling young one?"

 

"I did not mean to speak aloud. I was talking to Daniel. He sensed my anger towards you and started to awake."

 

"Were you calling me...?"

 

"No Colonel O'Neill, I was calling Daniel young one."

 

"He's not young."

 

"To me he is very young. I am much older than he. I have been alive much longer than Daniel. Daniel is very young..."

 

"Why do you call him young one?"

 

"That is of no concern to you, Colonel. What goes on between my host and I is of no concern to you."

 

"When it's Daniel we're talking about it is my concern," Jack responded with a bit more force behind those words then he had intended.

 

Anubis snapped back at him, "Yes, you care so much for him that you abandoned him when he needed you the most! How could you be so cruel?"

 

"What are you talking about? I have never abandoned Daniel! NEVER!"

 

"You forget Colonel, I know Daniel's memories and thoughts. I know how much you have hurt this young one. I will not allow you to do so anymore."

 

Jack understood what 'young one' was now. An endearment, a nickname...a name Anubis probably used to comfort his host when Daniel was in need of comforting. He could only stare at Anubis when he commented on how Jack hurt Daniel. He could tell, could sense, that Anubis was very angry with him. The hostility was so strong that it tinged the air around them. Jack said, "Whoa, whoa, wait just a damned minute here! I would never hurt Daniel, EVER! I care for him too damned much to harm him!"

 

"You lie!" Anubis spat out.

 

"About Daniel? Never!"

 

Anubis fell silent momentarily. He looked at Jack as the man continued, "I take it the Jack of your reality..."

 

Anubis flinched as he realized what had happened. He forgot that he was in an alternate reality temporarily. He was seeing the coldhearted bastard that refused to acknowledge Daniel's existence for the last four years. He had to apologize so he glanced up saying, "I am sorry, Colonel O'Neill. I was not thinking of the alternate reality. I am sorry. Daniel has been badly hurt by the Jack O'Neill of his world."

 

"Well then I'm a fool...I mean he's a fool."

 

"Daniel is no fool."

 

"No I meant me...Jack, your Jack. How has he hurt Daniel?"

 

"He treats Daniel as if he were a burden. Most of the time he does not even acknowledge my host's existence...even when he is in the same room. The Jack of my world holds a lot of anger and hatred towards my host. He is a very bitter man. He does not realize the pain he has wrought on Daniel, but I know. I share his thoughts, his feelings and his memories. I share his pain. Colonel O'Neill badly hurt Daniel."

 

"Why? How could anyone not like Daniel? The man is amazing... He's intelligent, compassionate... The man hates no one. How could anyone hurt him?"

 

"That I do not know, Colonel O'Neill, but our Jack O'Neill has done so, and even now he still continues to harm Daniel."

 

"Did something happen between them to...?"

 

"Yes...on Abydos."

 

"Abydos..."

 

"A young boy was killed. Colonel O'Neill blames Daniel for the boy's death."

 

"Who was the boy?"

 

"Skaara..."

 

"What?" Jack could only stare at the man before him. He was beginning to see where his alternate's anger and hatred towards Daniel first arose. If Skaara meant nearly as much to that Jack as Skaara meant to him... Jack was beginning to realize how a simple twist of fate could have changed him. But even if Skaara had been killed when Daniel and him faced Ra that still did not give Jack the right to treat his best friend so horribly. There was no excuse at all for what his alternate had put Daniel Jackson through. No excuse! His alternate self was a fool!

 

Anubis continued, "Skaara was killed and Sha're was left behind, abandoned by my host."

 

"Sha're? Daniel would never willingly leave her! He loved her too much!"

 

"He loved her enough to leave. He could not live with her knowing, or rather feeling, that he was solely responsible for her brother's death. He left her. He felt it was the right thing to do."

 

"Sha're was Daniel's wife. He lost her to Apophis."

 

"She still lives in our reality."

 

"Oh God, poor Danny."

 

"What?"

 

"If he did switch places and he's in your reality... He nearly died when he lost Sha're. To discover she is alive, but not his Sha're... It'll tear Daniel apart."

 

Jack remembered, even now, how much Sha're had meant to Daniel. Daniel had given up his life on Earth to be with her. He loved her and lived with her for a year on Abydos before Apophis arrived on Earth forcing the government to reopen the Stargate. Jack could still remember the look of sorrow and rage that had passed over Daniel when Sha're had been so cruelly taken from him. He had fallen deeply in love with the Abydonian beauty and when Apophis abducted her it cut Daniel like a knife. Daniel ended up devoting his life to again locating her. When he had finally located his wife he had to lose her all over again when Amunet tried to murder him. Daniel still grieved for his wife. Jack knew this to be true. Daniel managed to move on with his life but he still missed his wife terribly and he still mourned for her loss. He seemed to have accepted that his wife was gone now. He knew that she was finally at peace, but occasionally Jack would catch a hint of sadness in the blue depths of Daniel's eyes. He would see that sadness when Daniel would look at a picture of his wife or something would remind him of her. He managed to move on with his life, yet he still missed his wife deeply.

 

Anubis looked at Colonel O'Neill trying to read the man. He could see a definite difference between this Jack O'Neill and the one from his own reality. He spoke up, "Perhaps you do care for my host."

 

"Do? Yes I do. Daniel and I have been through a lot. He's my best friend. I care for him. I would never deliberately hurt him. I...I couldn't do that to him no matter angry I am."

 

"Perhaps our Jack O'Neill should take some lessons from you. He does not deserve my host as his friend."

 

"Daniel still cares for him, doesn't he?"

 

"Yes he does. I do not understand it myself. After all Colonel O'Neill has done to him I do not see how Daniel can still dare to care for the man."

 

"That's just Daniel. He has a big heart and easily forgives. Our Daniel is like that. He doesn't hate anyone. He's a very compassionate young man."

 

"I would like to meet your Daniel some day."

 

"Why?"

 

"Curiosity...to see how different he is from my host."

 

"Well, he doesn't have a symbiote in him."

 

"Yes so I have discovered. Why is that?"

 

"He would never willingly become a host...even to a Tok'ra, too many bad memories of the Goa'uld and their dominating race. The Goa'uld have caused Daniel much pain and suffering."

 

"I see."

 

"So...how...why did he become a host to you?"

 

Jack watched as the one before him, who looked so much like his friend, inhaled deeply. He looked down and Jack had a feeling that he wouldn't like his answer. He watched as the man before him walked over to the picture of Sha're briefly touching the frame... Jack was reminded again of how Daniel would occasionally approach that picture of his wife and caress it as thoughts and memories of her would fill him. Life was so unfair to some people! Daniel had suffered so much in his young life yet he still remained strong, caring and forgiving. Daniel was definitely an amazing person. Jack focused again on Anubis waiting for the man to speak; Jack wasn't sure he would get an answer then Anubis began, "It was not an easy joining for either of us."

 

"Why?"

 

"Our world is under threat by a Goa'uld named Isis. She had been a protector of the Tau'ri, a mother goddess, until her beloved was murdered by Set. She fell into despair and became angry and bitter. She now vows to destroy all Tau'ri and all Tok'ra. She wants to become the supreme ruler of the system lords... She captured Daniel's team as soon as they arrived on a planet called Maline. She singled out my host and had him separated from his friends..."

 

"She..."

 

"My host was dying and had suffered a traumatic injury, a fatal injury."

 

"You were in need of a new host to survive?"

 

“Yes. Isis was, is, in love with me. After Osiris was killed she took an interest in me. She made her feelings very clear to me. When she saw my host she desired him, as well... She desired Daniel and I..."

 

"So she chose him to become your new host?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Against his will?"

 

"Yes, in fact, she had him...chained so that he could not fight her nor me..."

 

"I thought you said you were Tok'ra?"

 

"I am."

 

"Our Tok'ra don't force themselves on a host. They only take willing hosts."

 

Jack watched as the man before him bowed his head. He had a strong feeling that Anubis lowered his head because he felt guilt and pain at having to take Daniel as his host by force. Jack spoke up breaking the silence "You took him by force, didn't you? DIDN'T YOU?"

 

"Yes. Daniel was an unwilling host. I...I stole his body so that I could live."

 

"Then you are no better than the Goa'uld!" Jack spat out.

 

Anubis glanced up at Jack and Jack could swear that he saw dampness at the corner of Daniel's eyes. He may have taken his host forcefully but it was obvious to Jack that Anubis felt extremely guilty for doing so. He spoke in a whisper so low that Jack could barely hear him, "Yes, I suppose that I am no better."

 

Jack immediately regretted his accusation. He could tell that Anubis was very upset over what he had done to Daniel. Jack questioned, "Did you have a choice?"

 

"No, I did not."

 

"Why?"

 

"If I would have hesitated even a moment then Isis would have destroyed us both. I could not allow that to happen so I...took Daniel as my host."

 

"You had no choice."

 

"No. Isis would have killed us both."

 

Anubis stopped as he heard the faint whisperings in his mind, "Yes she would have. I forgave you a long time ago. You need to forgive yourself, Anubis. You had no choice. I would be dead now, as would you, if you had hesitated. You must stop feeling guilty."

 

Anubis sent back a reply, "You should be resting, young one. Your body has not fully recovered from the shock to its system. You did not sleep last night either."

 

"Neither did you. So we both should be resting."

 

"Daniel..."

 

"Yes?"

 

"Please go to sleep. You must rest, young one."

 

"As must you, my friend. I can sense that you are very tired."

 

"Do not worry so about me. I will be fine."

 

"Will you?"

 

"Yes I will."

 

"I know you are speaking with Colonel O'Neill."

 

"Yes."

 

"I know how much he angers you."

 

"Yes."

 

"Let me take over."

 

"Daniel, you are exhausted. You will most likely collapse if I give control over to you."

 

"I'm not that tired."

 

"Really?"

 

"Yes really."

 

"I see. Daniel you must rest."

 

"So must you."

 

"You are most stubborn."

 

"I try my best."

 

"That you do... I can sense how much you would like to speak with Colonel O'Neill. Daniel, he is not our O'Neill. Remember that."

 

"Yes I do. Quit worrying about me."

 

"It is my job to worry about you, to care for you, to make sure that no harm comes to you, to protect you..."

 

"I thought that was my job."

 

"We share the responsibilities."

 

"Yes."

 

"Daniel, are you sure you want to do this?"

 

"Yes."

 

"You must get some sleep."

 

"And so must you."

 

"I will be here, Daniel."

 

"Some how I just knew that you would be."

 

Jack noticed Anubis fall silent and wondered why. He watched as Anubis lowered his head then raised it again. The voice that spoke was no longer that of the Goa'uld. The voice was Daniel's, "Hello Jack..."

 

"Daniel?"

 

"In a manner of speaking. God, it's been so long since I've called you that."

 

"What? Jack?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Why?"

 

"Because for the last four years you didn't deserve it."

 

"And I do now?"

 

"You do, but not the Colonel of my reality. I’m glad you never gave up on me...I mean him. I wish it had been the same for me, but you’re just too bitter, too full of hatred and rage. You shut everyone out, including me."

 

"Oh God Danny, I'm so sorry you...I...treated you so badly. What a fool I am."

 

"Danny? Now that I haven't heard in years." Daniel smiled in response to that nickname. Colonel O'Neill use to call him that before their disastrous trip to Abydos. The nickname always reminded him of his parents. It felt good to hear the nickname again. Daniel glanced up at Jack smiling as the man questioned, "How could you still care for a jerk like me any way?"

 

"You are not a jerk."

 

"Well thanks but from what I've been hearing I am."

 

"Not you...your alternate. He..."

 

"Is a total asshole...why do you even bother?"

 

"Why do you have to ask me that, Colonel?"

 

"You're right. I don't."

 

"I’m very glad that you haven't treated your Daniel as an outcast. Don't ever do that to him."

 

"I could never do that to him..."

 

The man before him looked almost relieved at Jack's admission. Jack found himself wondering what life had been like for this Daniel. Obviously in this man's reality Jack was no longer his friend but his enemy. Jack couldn't even begin to imagine Daniel as his enemy. He was very glad they weren't.

 

As Jack continued to watch Daniel he noticed how the man before him appeared to be exhausted. Daniel looked ready to collapse. He looked as if he hadn't slept in over forty-eight hours. Jack wouldn't even find it the least bit surprising if that were the actual truth. He wondered why he hadn't noticed the tiredness in Daniel sooner and suggested, "Daniel, why don't you sit down."

 

"I'm fine."

 

"The hell you are! You're exhausted! Come on. Sit down."

 

As the man made no attempt to follow Jack's suggestion Jack instinctively touched Daniel, ignoring Daniel's sudden tenseness and flinching as he guided the young scientist into a chair. Jack glanced at Daniel in worry and concern. God, he knew this wasn't his Daniel but he still couldn't stop himself from being concerned about him. He had noticed how this man had jerked, flinching from his physical touch. What had his other self done to Daniel? Daniel never feared Jack. He never tensed upon Jack's physical contact. This Daniel did. He could see the hurt, the suffering, in the man's eyes. He was positive that his alternate self had placed that pain and sadness there. God, but he was a damned fool! How could his other self treat Daniel so horribly? Why couldn't he see how much Daniel was a blessing and not a burden? God, Jack sensed that he would be lost now if it hadn't been for a certain stubborn archaeologist entering his life and chipping away those layers of brick he had built up around himself.

 

Jack looked at Daniel again and noticed that Daniel was now leaning his head back against the chair. Daniel was definitely very tired. His eyes started to drift shut. The man was totally exhausted and fighting not to give in to his body's demands for sleep. Daniel was fighting a losing battle. How could this young man even fall asleep with Jack's presence in the room? After the suffering the other Jack put him through this Daniel shouldn't even be able to relax in his company, yet he was. Jack wanted to kill his alternate. This man still trusted that Jack O'Neill some and was able to feel safe enough to sleep in his presence. God, the man was such a total fool! Jack found that he wanted to beat the hell out of his other self for being so cruel towards Daniel. How could the man be so foolish, so blind as not to realize...? Jack only shook his head. He was bitterly disappointed with his alternate.

 

Jack watched as Daniel's eyes finally drifted gently closed. He noticed immediately that the man could no longer resist his body's insistent need for rest so he picked up the afghan, that Daniel kept in his office, and approached the young man. Jack shook his head smiling as he commented, "You’re just as stubborn as my Daniel. Even he doesn't know how to get some sleep when he should. You and Daniel really should work on that."

 

Jack's smile broadened as he placed the cover gently over Daniel. He jumped in surprise as Daniel's eyes opened and the vivid blue color turned to bright white. Anubis was back and he was watching Jack. Jack tried not to let that knowledge spook him and focused, instead, on gently tucking the cover around Daniel's thin frame. He glanced up at Anubis and noticed that the symbiote was also drifting to sleep. He never realized that symbiotes could become tired...actually he never really thought much about it. He noticed that Anubis was watching him with distrust in his eyes, but he was fighting as much as his host was to remain awake. Jack looked at him as Anubis continued to watch him. Jack gently prodded, "Aren't you supposed to take care of Daniel?"

 

"I do, Colonel O'Neill."

 

"He's exhausted and so are you."

 

"I am fine."

 

"You're just as stubborn as he is!"

 

Anubis smiled in response to that comment. He would have to agree with that statement himself. Both him and Daniel were very stubborn, indeed. He glanced up as Jack continued, "Sleep. No one will bother you."

 

"I do not trust you."

 

"Yeah well, I know that. Stop being stubborn and get some sleep."

 

"Do not tell me what to do, Colonel O'Neill."

 

"Oh, wouldn't dream of it."

 

Jack smirked as the symbiote also succumbed to sleep. His eyes, Daniel's eyes, drifted gently shut. Both host and symbiote were now fast asleep. God, but they were both stubborn, equally stubborn. Jack watched as the man before him slept. He looked so much like Daniel. He was Daniel, only not the Daniel of this reality. Where was Daniel? Jack hoped that the two had simply switched places. He hoped that his Daniel would soon find a way back. He missed him already despite only being told this morning what had occurred.

 

                                                     * * * * * *

Captain Janet Fraiser watched her silent CO. The man was so still and so silent. She became even more concerned for him. She could see his emotions. He was confused, angry, depressed...and the person at the center of all of those conflicting emotions was one Doctor Daniel Jackson. She had been surprised to hear half of the things that Daniel had said to his CO earlier. Their Daniel was never so outspoken. This Daniel met problems head on. He has only been with them a short while and yet he already knew, could read Jack, like a book. Janet wondered how that was even possible then she remembered his statement: he knows this Jack. He saw this Jack before when they had gone to Abydos. Abydos, there was that planet again. Why did everything seem to revolve around Abydos? She wished they would've never found that planet, but if not for Abydos then there would be no Stargate program.

 

They were sure that the gate only went to Abydos but had later discovered a room full of Stargate addresses on the desert planet. She shivered as she remembered just how they had located that room. When Sha're had learned of her brother's death she ran to the cave that held those addresses. Daniel had tried to speak with her but upon seeing how sad and upset she was and seeing what he had done to her, he had left. Skaara's death wasn't Daniel's fault. They all were liable, but like he always does, Daniel took on the burden of the guilt. He held himself solely responsible. Skaara's death was not Daniel's fault but Daniel believed that it was. The Colonel didn't help matters much either with his constant accusations and reminders that Daniel had made some mistakes during that mission. They all had made some bad mistakes on that mission, but Jack held Daniel solely accountable. In doing so he hurt Daniel severely. Daniel just accepted it, like always.

 

Colonel O'Neill's voice suddenly interrupted her thoughts as he said, "It's all my fault. Every damned bit of it is my fault."

 

"Sir...?"

 

"Skaara's death, Sha're's broken heart, Daniel's depression and insomnia, Daniel's possession...all of it...my fault."

 

"No Colonel..."

 

"Yes Captain. The world would be much better if I wasn't in it."

 

"Colonel, you're not seriously considering...?" Captain Fraiser swallowed hard as she realized what the Colonel was contemplating: suicide. She hadn't heard any mention of suicide since Skaara was killed. She hadn't liked hearing it then and didn't like hearing it now. She hoped that the Colonel wasn't serious. Surely he wouldn't...kill himself? God, she hoped not. Not only would that affect the Colonel it would kill Doctor Jackson, as well. Doctor Jackson would again take the blame and responsibility for the Colonel's stupid actions. Doctor Jackson couldn't live with any more guilt. The guilt was already too much for him. She had watched the man rapidly deteriorate as Colonel O'Neill continued to hold him solely accountable for the deaths of so many. She couldn't allow that to happen. She had to talk some sense into the Colonel before he did something drastic.

 

"No one would care," came the Colonel's near whisper of a response.

 

My God, was the Colonel so blind as not to realize how much he meant to the SGC, to SG-1, to Daniel Jackson? How could the man not see his own worth? The Daniel with them now told her and Doctor Carter earlier that the Colonel was on a self-destructive path. One in which he would fall into unless he opened up to someone. Captain Fraiser never realized just how true those words were until now. She looked at her dour CO. He was very depressed and angry. He was realizing the mistakes he had made. She only hoped that in realizing those mistakes he didn't lose himself in the revelations. She had a feeling that the Colonel was finally seeing how much he has hurt Doctor Jackson and those around him. The revelation would either make him stronger or kill him. She quickly jumped in to assure him that at least one person would care if he suddenly ceased living. She looked at him saying, "Daniel would care. You can't do that to him, sir."

 

"Daniel doesn't give a damn about me!"

 

"Then you're totally blind."

 

"Our Daniel doesn't give a damn."

 

"Yes he does."

 

"Why would he? Look what I've done to him."

 

"Because he has a big heart and is willing to forgive and forget. Colonel, how could you not see how much he still cares for you?"

 

"How could I have not realized he was on anti-depressants and sleeping pills, Captain? I’m his goddamned CO, yet I didn't see the obvious signs that he was asking for help!"

 

Anger, rage, self-loathing and guilt...Colonel O'Neill was experiencing all of those emotions right now. Captain Fraiser needed to get through to the man. She had to convince him that there were plenty of reasons to continue living. For the first time, in a very long time, Captain Fraiser felt scared. She was very scared that Colonel O'Neill might just kill himself. He was on the verge of committing suicide. She could see the helplessness and the hopelessness present in the man's eyes. God, she had to do something about this. But what could she do? Then she thought of an idea...if Colonel O'Neill perhaps talked with this alternate Daniel and saw how much he meant to the young archaeologist...maybe, just maybe, she could save him. Maybe this alternate Daniel could be the answer she was looking for. No one could get through to Colonel O'Neill, but she felt certain that Daniel Jackson could. She quickly encouraged, "Colonel you need to talk to him."

 

"He's gone. He has a Goa'uld in him now and that other Daniel..."

 

"You should talk to that other Daniel, Colonel. You said so yourself that he knows you very well. In his reality you’re best friends. I can see how much you mean to him."

 

"Not me. His Jack."

 

"Talk to him...civilly for once."

 

"We'll only argue. You've seen that."

 

"That's because you're too damned stubborn to... I'm sorry, sir..."

 

"What does he see in me...my other self?"

 

"Maybe you should ask him that."

 

"Fraiser, you're not helping here."

 

"Colonel, talk to him. He may not be our Daniel, but it may help you if you speak with him."

 

Colonel O'Neill fell completely silent again staring off into nowhere. Captain Fraiser was now very worried for him. She had been worried about him before. She had always known that he had contemplated suicide, but he never actually did it or spoke of it. Like their guest's O'Neill this man had also been struck hard by Charlie's death and absence. He never did quite recover from it. Then when they went to Abydos and met Skaara... Skaara had reminded Jack of his own son. She started to see some change in him. Then Skaara tragically died. To the Colonel it was almost as if he had lost Charlie all over again so he lashed out. Daniel Jackson just happened to be the most unfortunate. He was the person that the Colonel had targeted and blamed. Captain Fraiser didn't think it was a coincidence that the one person O'Neill was closest to was the first one he cruelly shoved away. She had a feeling that one of the main reasons he had shoved Doctor Jackson away was because he feared that if he didn't Daniel would also die. It seemed as if anyone O'Neill got close to ended up dying tragically. She couldn't help but wonder if the original reason he pushed Daniel away was because he feared that Jackson would meet the same fate as Charlie and Skaara. He didn't want to lose Daniel so he shoved him away and, as a result, he lost Daniel anyway. Daniel still cared for Jack she could tell that he did. She could see the truth of Daniel's feelings reflected in his eyes. Jack had pushed him away, refusing to acknowledge Daniel at all. He had pushed his friend away to protect him but, instead, Daniel was now a host to a Goa'uld. Jack had lost his friend anyway.

 

Captain Fraiser continued to observe her sullen CO. He was most definitely depressed, angry and confused. She gently urged, "Colonel, go talk to him."

 

She was sure that urging him to speak with Doctor Jackson was the right course of action. Doctor Jackson had told them earlier that he knew this O'Neill very well. He had managed to pull his O'Neill from the brink of committing suicide and maybe by talking to this man he could also get through to him. She was sure that if he spoke with Doctor Jackson then Colonel O'Neill would feel so much better about everything. He needed a friend right now. He needed someone who knew him very well and Doctor Jackson knew him better than anyone here.

 

Jack glanced at her. He was shocked by her outrageous suggestion. She couldn't be serious! He couldn't face that man again! He sighed heavily then slowly got to his feet. This was stupid, totally stupid! He shook his head then left the room without saying a word.

 

Janet sighed in frustration. She should probably contact Doctor Carter and report her concerns regarding the Colonel. By informing Doctor Carter regarding Colonel O'Neill's suicidal ideation then maybe someone could at least keep a closer eye on the man. What Colonel O'Neill really needed was to talk to Daniel Jackson. She was positive that by doing so he would feel so much better. She had a feeling Colonel O'Neill would rather cut off his damned arm than go talk to Doctor Jackson about anything. Why was the man so stubborn? He needed to talk to Daniel yet she was sure that he would go to whatever lengths possible to avoid the man. Why did Colonel O'Neill always seem to run from his problems instead of face them? Damn it, what was wrong with the man?

 

                                                       * * * *

Jack walked towards the exit of Cheyenne Mountain Complex preparing to head home. There was no way that he would talk to that infuriating man! No way in hell! That man wasn't even his Daniel! No, he would not speak with Doctor Jackson. He refused to speak to Doctor Jackson about anything!

 

As Jack continued to make his way out of the complex he stopped but was unsure as to why. As he glanced at the door, he now stood before he froze in shock and cursed loudly. On the door written neatly on a gold plate was the name Doctor Daniel Jackson. Why the hell was he here at this door? Damn it, this was ridiculous! Jack attempted to continue on down the hallway but before he could stop himself he opened the door. He had no time to change his mind as the man in the room jumped up and jerked towards him in surprise. Vivid blue eyes clashed sharply with dark brown eyes. Doctor Jackson had seen him. There was no turning back now. He stared at the man before him for the longest time. The first thing he noticed was the exhaustion present in those blue eyes. This man was very tired yet, instead of choosing to sleep, he sat there with a damned cup of steaming coffee in his hand. Jack would've smiled if he could have at that image, but he only continued to eye the man before him up leerily.

 

Daniel broke the silence first, "I...I needed to get out."

 

"Why the hell aren't you in your cell, Doctor Jackson?"

 

Daniel flinched in response. Then he said, "Sam said I could..."

 

"She what?"

 

"I needed some time...alone, Jack."

 

"You’re not supposed to be wandering around this facility. We don't even know if we can trust you!"

 

Again Jack saw the slightest hint of anger and hurt in the young man's gaze. Daniel glared at him then said, "I won't go back to that room, Jack."

 

"You belong there."

 

"NO! I belong in my world...in MY reality! I will not go back to that room!"

 

"Fine. What the hell are you doing here?"

 

"Doctor Fraiser suggested I come here to get some privacy."

 

"Oh she did, did she?"

 

"Yes."

 

"That's Captain Fraiser by the way."

 

"Oh, sorry...Captain... Would you like to come in Jack, or did you just want to hold up the door frame?"

 

"What?" Jack caught the slightest teasing smile on Daniel's face in response. The smile successfully drew him into the room. He approached Daniel Jackson hesitantly. He watched as the man rubbed his eyes; he looked very tired.

 

Jack glanced around the office saying, "Wow, haven't been in here in a while. Love what you've done to the place."

 

"Not my place, Jack. My office is quite different."

 

"It is? How?"

 

"Well for one, it’s a lot…messier.”

 

Jack chuckled in response without thinking. Daniel glanced up a bit surprised to hear the chuckle. He questioned, "Tell me... Why did you...push him away?"

 

Jack fell dead silent. The silence stretched for what seemed like hours. At first Daniel didn't think the Colonel would speak then he was surprised as Jack answered, "Because I wanted to protect him."

 

"Protect him? By ignoring him? Jack..."

 

"Daniel, you have to understand that..."

 

Jack fell completely silent, a look of shock now crossing his face. Why the hell had he referred to the man before him as Daniel? What was wrong with him? They were enemies not friends so why...? Jack only shook his head in confusion. He found it very difficult to view this Daniel as his enemy and that perplexed him. He didn't know what to even say so he just focused on Daniel's face. Daniel glanced at him with a puzzled expression then asked, "Jack what...?"

 

As the momentary shock started to wear off Jack quickly muttered, "I...I can't believe I did that."

 

"What?"

 

"I haven't said that in..."

 

"What Jack?"

 

"I called you..."

 

"Daniel...that is my name, Jack."

 

"No, you don't understand. It's been so long...and it sounded so natural."

 

Daniel noticed how upset Jack was becoming as he realized his mistake. Daniel became angrier. How could this man feel so uncomfortable using his first name? What the hell had occurred over the last four years to make two people, who had obviously been best friends at one time, so distant? He sensed how uncomfortable Jack felt right now so he quickly changed the subject, "Jack..."

 

"What?"

 

"Why are you here?" Daniel found that he was very curious as to why this Jack, who had stormed away from him in anger earlier, would suddenly decide to seek him out. Why was he here?

 

He looked at Jack noticing that the man was...preoccupied. Something was really bothering the man. Daniel felt a bit uneasy as he looked into those sad brown eyes. He found himself suddenly remembering the first time he had met Colonel Jack O'Neill before departing for Abydos. The man had been a wreck. Daniel had found himself watching Jack occasionally, throughout that entire mission, fearing that Jack was considering ending his life. He didn't like that sense of foreboding that Jack seemed to project while on Abydos. Daniel had quickly learned of Charlie's death and suddenly understood why he had felt so uncertain and so worried for a man he barely knew. And now, he felt that uncertainty creeping back up in him self yet again. He was sure this Jack was seriously considering ending his life. He couldn't allow that to happen. He couldn't allow this Jack O'Neill to give up on life so easily. Their world needed him in it; their Daniel needed Jack in his life. Jack was too important to lose.

 

He glanced up again as Jack responded to the question he had just posed, "I...I don't honestly know."

 

Daniel watched him for the longest time before speaking, "Ah...look, Jack about earlier... I really am sorry about..."

 

"No, no. Forget it."

 

"Jack, I..."

 

"Drop it."

 

"But Jack..."

 

"Uh..." Jack held up his hand to signify that Daniel should be quiet. Daniel muttered, "Fine," a bit annoyed that Jack was so silent. Jack glanced at him and continued, "I was... Could you...? I wanted to... I..."

 

"What Jack?"

 

"Why are you still friends with him? What do you see in...me?"

 

"Jack, what kind of a question is that?"

 

"Never...never mind. Forget it I..."

 

"Forget it? Why? I just... You should already know what I see in you."

 

"There's nothing to like..."

 

"Bullshit!"

 

Nothing to like? What the hell had happened to make this Jack so unsure about himself? What had caused Jack to lose his self-esteem? Daniel was sure he knew that answer: Charlie O'Neill. When Charlie had died Jack held himself solely responsible for Charlie's death. He spent months afterwards drinking and pushing everyone away, eventually even his wife had left him. Then he was suddenly reassigned to a Top Secret project known as the Stargate Program. When they had left Earth for Abydos, Jack was a time bomb just waiting to self-destruct. He had been determined to blow up the threat to Earth and himself during that mission. On that mission Jack had been fortunate enough to again find himself. He had taken his first steps back to the person he had been before Charlie's death. Daniel had been one of the key factors in promoting that change. This Jack had pushed his Daniel away at that critical time in his life and, as a result, this Jack was still on that self-destructive path. He was just waiting patiently for that time when he would decide he no longer wanted to live.

 

Daniel glanced up as Jack's voice penetrated into his deep thoughts, drawing his full attention, "Doctor Jackson..."

 

"Daniel, please."

 

"Dan...Dan... Forget it."

 

"Oh my God, you are so damned pig headed!"

 

"What?"

 

"Look..."

 

"When did you sleep last?"

 

"WHAT? What the hell does that have to do with anything?"

 

Daniel wondered why the hell Jack suddenly changed the topic of conversation. He was all too aware that Jack was using a diversionary tactic. He obviously didn't like revealing anything to anyone. God, this Jack was so...closed off from everyone. Daniel decided to act as if he hadn't noticed Jack's sudden avoidance of the topic and just looked at him. He waited to see what Jack would say next.

 

"When did...?"

 

God, Jack was still concerned about when he had last slept? What the hell was that all about? Jack was deliberately changing the topic of discussion. He was deliberately trying to avoid any discussion regarding himself. Okay, so if that was the way Jack wanted to be than so be it. He quickly answered, "This morning...you know that. What kind of a stupid question is...?"

 

"And before that? How much did you sleep?"

 

"Jack, I..."

 

"How much?"

 

"Enough. Look Jack..."

 

"Enough? Bullshit! You’re totally exhausted! You need to rest."

 

"I'm fine."

 

"The hell you are!"

 

"Look Jack, I..."

 

"You need to sleep."

 

"And you need to stop avoiding me!"

 

"What...?"

 

Jack fell totally silent wanting so much to reply but finding he had no idea what to say. This Doctor Jackson was so...different from his own, but he couldn't help wondering if this was how his Daniel would now be if he had never shoved the man away so long ago. Talking with him came so easily to this Daniel. Hell, saying his first name came so easily to this Daniel. He had noticed relatively early on how the Daniel of his reality would deliberately refer to him as Colonel O'Neill. When he addressed him as Colonel he said it as if it were an insult. He had noticed, but just never said anything about it. It hurt to hear his ex-best friend call him Colonel but after a while he let it fuel the fire of his anger and rage, his hatred of Doctor Jackson... God, did he just say hatred? No, no. How could he say such a cruel thing? But Jack knew that was what he had felt towards Daniel for a very long time. God, no wonder him and Jackson always argued so much. Jackson must've realized a long time ago how coldhearted he could truly be. He shivered at that thought. Coldhearted? Him? Never, he swore never to become cold and angry...yet he had and Doctor Daniel Jackson was, unfortunately, unlucky enough to feel the full extent of his wrath, his anger and his hatred.

 

God, how had their friendship deteriorated so far? How could he have made Daniel Jackson an enemy? It was like the man before him said...he was pigheaded and very angry, and he took all that anger out on the man he used to call his best friend. Why?

 

Why? Because he knew that Doctor Jackson would willingly take on the guilt and responsibility for all of his faults. As Jack came to the full realization that he had wronged Doctor Jackson so much he felt extremely guilty. God, he was a total fool. How could he have done that to the man he used to call his best friend? He found himself staring at the floor before softly muttering, "Oh God Daniel, what have I done to you? What have I done?"

 

Daniel watched this alternate Jack. He was definitely not the Jack O'Neill that Daniel had grown to love and care for. This man wasn't his best friend. He watched a jumble of expressions dance across Jack's face. What was going on in that head of his? He could see so much anger and hatred in the man before him. He also saw that the man was hurting, deeply. The man before him seemed trapped lost in a prison of his own making. Daniel had a very odd feeling that this man before him really had no one at all that truly cared for him. He had successfully pushed everyone away and it worked. The man before him was alone, as alone as you possibly could get. He had a feeling that his other self still cared for this broken man before him but that this man still was too blind to see it. God, Jack what made you so cold, so different from the Jack I know? Daniel could only shake his head sadly. What had made this man before him so bitter and so angry? The man didn't even seem too concerned about himself. God, he hated seeing Jack like this. The man looked like an unfortunate soul, a miserable lonely man and he hated to see his best friend defeated like that. The man before him was just so...alone and lost. Why didn't he ask for help? Why didn't he at least try to reach out to someone, anyone? Why?

 

Daniel looked at Jack who slowly raised his head saying, "Sorry. I'm so sorry..." and softly replied, “You need to tell him that, not me."

 

"I can't he's...he's gone," came Jack's quiet response. The man sounded like he was full of guilt and regret. Daniel couldn't miss the overlying sorrow in the man's voice. This Jack sounded as if he had already given up: on Daniel, on himself, on life...

 

Daniel shook as he recalled a time when his Jack was so lost. Shortly after Charlie died Jack had all but given up...then he found himself again. This Jack needed to find himself, as well. He spoke up, "What if he isn't? You can still save him."

 

"How?"

 

Daniel couldn't help but notice the sudden hopefulness highlighting Jack's voice. It wasn't extremely noticeable, but it was there. He had a feeling this Jack O'Neill gave up on hope a long time ago. He also sensed that this Jack still cared deeply for the man he used to call his best friend, but he was too damned stubborn to admit it to himself.

 

Daniel replied, "Have you ever gone to Cimmeria?"

 

"Cimmeria? What the hell is that?"

 

"A planet...in our world...I mean in my world. They had this device called Thor's Hammer. It was designed to keep the planet safe from the Goa'uld. The device scanned visitors. If it detected a Goa'uld presence within one of the visitors they would be transported to a hall. The Hall of Mohair...where only the host could leave."

 

"The hall of what?"

 

"Mohair... It was a labyrinth of caves and passages guarded by an Unas."

 

"A what?"

 

"An Unas...a predatory creature... The host and symbiote are trapped in the cave until either the Goa'uld decides to wander the caves until death or the Goa'uld decides to kill its host or kill itself. Ours was destroyed. Jack ordered it destroyed to save Teal'c."

 

"Your friend Teal'c? He carries a symbiote?"

 

"Yes. He's a...a Jaffa... He was the First Prime of Apophis."

 

"Apophis?"

 

"The snake god. Apophis was an evil god..."

 

"Was?"

 

"We killed him in my world."

 

"You killed...? He's a Goa'uld?"

 

"Yes, he was."

 

"Never heard of him before."

 

"Believe me you don't want to, but don't be surprised if some day you run into him."

 

"So he's dead?"

 

"In my world, yes."

 

"Are you sure?"

 

"Well, the only way he would be alive is if he could survive being blown to bits."

 

"Blown to..."

 

"We blew him up."

 

"Ah..."

 

"Any how, getting back to what I was saying...if your Daniel has been inhabited by a Goa'uld there are several ways to help free him, of course, if the symbiote is a Tok'ra..."

 

"A Tok? What?"

 

Daniel stared at him for the longest moment not knowing what to say. Jack didn't know what a Tok'ra was? How was that possible? He was a bit surprised to discover that the people of this Earth had never before met a Tok'ra. Daniel inquired, "I take it there’s no alliance between your Earth and the Tok'ra."

 

"Uh...that would be a definite no, Doctor Jackson."

 

"You've been out there in the universe for how many years?"

 

"Us? Four."

 

"And you've never met a Tok'ra?" That didn't make any sense. SG-1 had met the Tok'ra over three years ago. How could the people of this Earth never...? Different worlds, different situations...different choices... The people of this Earth had obviously never traveled to the Tok'ra home world. Daniel could only shake his head in wonder. It was amazing that things could be so drastically different from one reality to another. He decided not to dwell on the wonders of parallel worlds too long and instead glanced up at Jack.

 

Jack informed, "Look Doctor Jackson, to us a snake is a snake. We tend to shoot first ask questions later."

 

"Uh Jack, that isn't such a good idea."

 

"Why the hell not?"

 

"Because there are people out there with symbiotes who oppose the Goa'uld and are very helpful...although sometimes they can be royal pains in the..."

 

"Doctor Jackson, to me the best snake is a dead snake."

 

"The Tok'ra can be very helpful. If you killed any of their operatives you may very well have sealed your own fate. When the Tok'ra don't offer help readily Jacob Carter usually does."

 

"Jacob Carter?"

 

"Sam's father."

 

"Sam's? I thought he was dead."

 

"In your world he may be. In my world he is alive and is a host to the Tok'ra Selmac."

 

"Selmac?"

 

"Yes, she's a Tok'ra. Her name is Selmac."

 

"And you trust these snakes?"

 

"I never said that. But I do trust Jacob and the Tok'ra have helped us occasionally."

 

"I see."

 

"I've learned to become suspicious by nature. The Tok'ra can be quite...difficult to work with sometimes."

 

"Why?"

 

"They’re much more advanced than us. They’re hesitant to share their knowledge and technology with us."

 

"Why?"

 

"Because if we become too advanced too quickly...it could be our undoing. They’re very careful with what they will and won't share with us."

 

"What an alliance."

 

"Without them Jack, none of SG-1 would probably be here. They've come through for us when we've really needed help. They're just...a very...careful lot... The Tok'ra have been nearly wiped out and destroyed by the system lords. They also have need of hosts to continue to survive. Hosts are a necessity for their race to continue and hosts are hard to come by."

 

"They sound like Goa'uld to me, Doctor Jackson."

 

"The host and symbiote share the body equally...neither is suppressed."

 

"How do you know?"

 

"Jacob Carter, for one, and we've worked with them for the last...three, or is it four, years? It's been quite awhile."

 

"Hosts are in short supply? How's that possible? All they do is go in and take over a..."

 

"No, no they don't."

 

"What?"

 

There were snakes out there who didn't forcibly take hosts? Jack found that idea very hard to believe. They needed hosts to survive. They sure as hell wouldn't take the time to ask if the host would willingly accept them. Besides, who would be crazy enough to volunteer to become a vessel for one of those...things? The idea was totally ludicrous. He eyed up Doctor Jackson and the skepticism reflecting in his eyes was very noticeable. Daniel tried to explain, "The Tok'ra never take an unwilling host."

 

"Never? I find that very hard to believe."

 

"They only take willing hosts."

 

"Only? They have never taken a host by force? Never?" Yeah right! Doctor Jackson could never convince him that a Goa'uld would only take a willing host. They were parasites. They didn't care what they did to the humans they imprisoned in their minds. All the Goa'uld cared about was continuing to survive by whatever means necessary and to rule over the universe. Doctor Jackson could never convince him that there were snakes out there who actually thought of their victims before they forcibly stole their bodies. He glanced up as Doctor Jackson continued to argue his point, "That is a last resort."

 

There it was...the Tok'ra did take hosts forcibly. Jack knew that a snake would never willingly ask if it could join with a human. A Goa'uld only knew how to use force to overtake a host. Jack called Doctor Jackson on his previous statement, "So they do then?"

 

Daniel shook his head no, immediately, and continued to try to prove his point, "Only if it's a necessity. They will not stay with a host if one desires separation."

 

"How do you know that?"

 

"Just..."

 

"They sound like Goa'uld."

 

"Trust me in this...the Tok'ra are allies."

 

"In your world maybe, but here...they could be our worst enemies."

 

"No, I don't think so. Our realities have some similarities."

 

"What? You have an evil goddess running around your world too, Doctor Jackson?"

 

"An evil goddess?"

 

"Isis."

 

"Isis? She's dead."

 

"What?"

 

"Isis was Osiris' wife. She died."

 

"Osiris is dead."

 

"No, not in my reality. He's still out there somewhere threatening to return to Earth one day and destroy it."

 

"Now that sounds like Isis."

 

Isis a threatening goddess? An evil Goa'uld? But that didn't make any sense. In Daniel's reality most of the Goa'uld's histories matched with the myths and legends surrounding the deities that they portrayed. Which meant that if Isis was still alive on his Earth she would probably be a protector of the Tau'ri, not their enemy. In Ancient Egyptian culture Isis was a very well respected goddess. She is still even worshipped today by some. She was the ultimate representation of the family, of the mother and the devoted wife. She was an evil goddess here? Well, now that was a very interesting twist of fate. Daniel still felt doubtful about her being a destructive Goa'uld, despite what Jack just told him, which is what possessed him to ask, "Are you sure the Goa'uld threatening your world isn't Hathor?"

 

"Yes. We know it's Isis. Why?"

 

"Isis was always considered a mother goddess, protector of all. She wasn't evil or corrupt. She was a good goddess. One who protected."

 

"Not this woman. She's angry and hell-bent on destroying us. She's the one who had Daniel made into a host."

 

Daniel froze as an image suddenly flashed before his eyes of a woman. The woman was dark-skinned with long black hair. Her eyes were an odd color of violet and blue. She was rather beautiful. Then the image disappeared as quickly as it had come. Now what the hell was that? Daniel was very confused. Where did that image come from? He shook his head to clear it hearing Jack's voice, "Doctor Jackson?"

 

"Yes? Sorry, what were you saying?"

 

"Isis is the one who made Daniel a host to..."

 

A name whispered faintly through Daniel's mind and Daniel spoke it aloud without thought, "Anubis."

 

"What? Doctor Jackson? DOCTOR JACKSON?"

 

Daniel glanced up seeing Jack before him. The man looked very concerned and worried. Daniel replied to that unspoken question he saw in Jack's eyes, "I'm fine Jack."

 

“No, you're not. Maybe you should try to get some sleep."

 

"I'm fine."

 

"You're exhausted. Get some sleep, Doctor Jackson."

 

"No Jack, I..."

 

"Get some sleep," Jack suggested as he noticed Daniel growing more and more tired the longer he sat in that chair. He noticed Daniel lean his head back propping it against the back of the chair he now sat in. He knew the man would be asleep shortly. He reached over and gently took the coffee out of Daniel's hands sitting it on the desk. He quietly urged again, "Go to sleep."

 

"Jack we..."

 

"You're exhausted. You need to sleep. Go to sleep."

 

"But Jack..." Daniel found he was extremely tired but didn't understand why. He felt his eyes drifting shut. The last thing he heard before sleep took him was Jack telling him good night then sudden warmth covering his body. A blanket, or something, was draped over his body. Daniel remembered that he kept an afghan in his office and wondered if Jack had grabbed it. He didn't think of the fact that he was not in his reality as sleep surrounded him.

 

Jack sat watching the young man who was no longer able to fight his body's need for rest. He grabbed the afghan that Daniel always kept in his office and used it to cover up the now sleeping man. As Daniel seemed to sink deeper into sleep Jack sat in a chair and watched him.

 

Jack's thoughts quickly focused on the man now sleeping before him. He remembered the first day that him and his Jackson actually met. He had been recalled to active duty to work on a Top Secret project known as the Stargate Program. He remembered entering the briefing room and seeing a rather young man staring at a board full of weird looking designs. His first thought was: why was a college student looking at a board in a Top Secret research facility? He had been rather shocked when he was introduced to the young man with the shaggy mop of dark blond hair. When he was told that the boy before him was actually a 30-year-old man he could only stare. The kid was actually a man, but his features made him appear a lot younger. When they had told him that this man was a brilliant scientist he had been curious. He wondered which branch of the military the kid was in. When he was told that the brilliant scientist was actually a civilian his first instinct was to get rid of him. A military operation was no place for a civilian but, of course, all of his protests fell on deaf ears. Katherine Langford insisted that they needed the man. She informed him that Doctor Jackson, in fact, had Top Level clearance and had every right in the world to be in the facility. He had been surprised at the support the young scientist had acquired in such a short time. When he had looked at Katherine he knew his battle was lost. Katherine liked Doctor Jackson...a lot. He knew the man would stay, and if he managed to get the damned circle of stone to work he would most definitely be on that first mission. He had been totally shocked when the man had quickly deciphered what the glyphs on the Stargate were. Doctor Jackson had surprised a lot of people the day that he proved to them that the ring of stone had star constellations on it. No one else had even seen the resemblance between a few odd-looking symbols and star constellations, yet this young man solved the mystery that took many people, and many years of work, to decipher. He had solved the mystery in a matter of only a few short days. The young scientist had earned a lot of people's respect that day.

 

Daniel Jackson had been made a member of the first team to enter the Stargate after that. They would need him to decipher the glyphs on the other side of the gate. They would need Jackson to help them get back home. Jack had been hesitant to place the lives of his team members in the hands of this very young scientist, but he had no choice in the matter. Again Katherine had rallied for the young man, and Jackson had convinced him that they would need his expertise if they were ever to return to Earth. Jack had reluctantly given up his fight and allowed the man to accompany them.

 

The man was a total geek. Jackson was the type of person Jack used to beat up when he was in high school. All brains and no brawn...or so Jack had believed. Doctor Jackson had proved himself tough enough to handle anything thrown his way. He had proved that he could face anything that his military trained teammates could. He also proved that he was a hell of a lot stronger than his other teammates had ever expected him to be. Jack had quickly warmed up to the young man. As they stayed on Abydos they became the best of friends. They were the kind of people who made very fast friends. Then fate threw a major roadblock in their way. When Skaara had died so did Jack. He had been starting to change back to the man he used to be. Daniel Jackson became a very important factor in that change. It was because of Doctor Jackson and his selflessness that Jack started back down the path to finding himself again. Then, like the fool that he now was, Jack had turned on Doctor Jackson. He turned on the man so quickly that Jackson didn't even have a chance to heal the new wound to the friendship. Jack, of course, also refused to allow Doctor Jackson to even attempt to smooth over the rift that had widened like a valley between the two. He had been totally unfair to Jackson and totally cruel.

 

Jack could see now what he had done so long ago. He had made a terrible mistake when he had shut Doctor Jackson completely out of his life. He knew now that part of the reason he did that was because he had feared that he was cursed. It seemed that anyone who even got close to him, anyone that he started to care for, ended up dead. He had feared that if he allowed Doctor Jackson to get too close to him that he too would die. He had been a total fool, and he now realized his huge mistake. He wondered now if it was too late. Had he come to the realization too late to do anything about it? He doubted that Jackson would ever forgive him for all the cruelty and bitterness he showered over the young archaeologist during the last four years. Regrets...man, did he ever have a ton of those!

 

Jack felt himself growing more and more tired the longer he sat and watched the young man. Jack soon drifted to sleep himself, not even realizing he had until Daniel's voice broke through to him. Daniel was muttering something. Jack came fully awake when he heard Daniel's sudden plea, "Oh God no..."

 

Jack became worried so he walked over to Daniel to check on him. Daniel was still asleep but he seemed very agitated, a nightmare maybe? He found himself wondering what was now going on in the man's head. What was wrong? Why did Daniel seem so restless?

 

Daniel was sleeping deeply when images started to flit through his mind like home made movies. He found himself in a pitch-black room all alone. No one was near him. He was all alone and so very cold. The next image that sparked to life behind his closed eyelids was him self being escorted down a long dark corridor.  On either side of himself were guards. They appeared to be Horus guards. Daniel wasn't quite certain. He was told to enter a room that looked like the throne room of an old castle. In the center of the room stood a very beautiful woman. He saw her turn to face him sneering at him as she held up a canopic jar and removed the lid. He felt a sudden fear travel through him as a symbiote raised up out of that jar. What was happening? Where the hell was he? What was going on? Daniel became more and more anxious the longer the dream continued tensing when the dream quickly changed again. He was no longer standing but secured to a cold stone table.

 

Daniel cried out and thrashed in his sleep as in the dream a Goa'uld symbiote was laid on his bare chest. He struggled to get away but found that he couldn't move his arms or legs since they were secured in place. He could almost feel the cold, harsh metal digging into his flesh, and he could almost feel the slimy wet trail left behind by the larval Goa'uld as it continued to wiggle up across his body. As he saw the larva suddenly begin to slither up across his chest he felt ill. He tried to wake himself up, but the nightmare was too vivid and all too real. He was trapped in this hellish nightmare. He was positive that he was dreaming but, God, it felt so damned real! He could hear a woman's voice as she spoke softly, 'Does he please you, My Lord?' The woman nodded as the larva continued to slither up across Daniel's chest. Then she was standing beside him gently stroking his hair, smiling broadly as the snake continued to squirm. Daniel struggled more. She spoke gently to him, 'Do not fear so, my love, for soon you will know power like no other. You will be a god. Do not fear so Tau'ri for Anubis will bring you great strength and vitality. Accept him. You will be joined...' The woman then turned to the guard to Daniel's immediate left saying, 'Allow Anubis to enter through the mouth, Ka'tar. We would rather the host not bear a scar.'

 

Daniel flailed and struggled harder as his mouth was suddenly forced open by her First Prime. Then he watched in horror as the larval Goa'uld reared up and leaped towards his now open mouth. Daniel screamed unaware that he was screaming aloud, "Oh God, no! Please no!"

 

Daniel jerked violently awake launching himself upwards, sweat now drenching his face and body. He was also breathing heavily. He tried to remember what had happened and tried to focus on regaining his self-control. He glanced quickly downwards expecting to see a Goa'uld larva sitting on him staring at him. Instead of seeing the larva Daniel saw colors...what? He saw lots of colors...a blanket. Oh God...a dream, it was all just a dream. Thank God it was all a dream.

 

Daniel tensed as he felt someone suddenly pull him against them. What the hell? Who...then he smelled that aftershave. Jack, thank God! He was with Jack. He heard Jack's voice saying over and over again that he was okay, that everything was okay and started to relax when a loud bang resounded in the room. Daniel responded to the sudden noise by jumping and screaming as his mind flashed to himself being lashed to that cold stone table...that woman eyeing him up as if he was a piece of meat, that Goa'uld leaping towards his now open mouth. Jack spoke soothingly, "Shh, shh, Daniel, it's all right. It's all right."

 

Jack glanced up to see the source of that very loud bang. He saw Doctor Carter standing at the door with her mouth agape in shock. Beside her was Captain Fraiser who had an identical look of shocked surprise on her face. Jack knew why they were staring at him. He never ever offered Daniel any comfort in the last four years and here he was holding the man and telling him that everything would be all right and telling him that he just had a nightmare.

 

Jack continued to watch Carter then said barely audible, "He was having a nightmare, a very bad nightmare...I couldn't...I... My God, why didn't you ever...? I never knew. I swear I never knew."

 

Doctor Carter nodded her head in response to the confession. She knew what Jack was talking about. He had never actually witnessed Daniel's violent nightmares. Even though the man was not her Daniel his nightmares were as bad as her husband's used to be. He would come awake screaming. Sam had known as soon as she heard that desperate scream through the hallways that it was Daniel Jackson. Never mind that this man wasn't her husband, he was still Daniel Jackson. She had been heading here to check on Daniel when she had heard his scream. She broke into a run when she heard him, desperate to get to him. She approached the two saying, "Daniel? Daniel, sweetheart...Daniel it's Sam. Daniel? Come on honey, look at me. It's Samantha, sweetheart..."

 

Daniel heard the voice and recognized it as that of Sam's. He jerked his head violently up in response to her last comment, glancing at her slightly disoriented before questioning, "Sweetheart?"

 

"Oh thank God, Daniel! Are you all right?"

 

"Sweetheart?" Daniel watched the woman before him blushing furiously and suddenly remembered where he was. He immediately tried to apologize, "Oh God...I'm so sorry, Sam. I didn't mean to embarrass you. It's just that..."

 

"You’re not married to the Sam of your reality are you, Daniel?"

 

"No, no, I'm not. We're just friends."

 

"Are you sure that’s all you are?"

 

"Yes, I'm sure."

 

"Oh..." Sam responded in disappointment. She continued, "Are you all right? You had a nightmare and..."

 

Sam noticed Daniel suddenly pull back away from Jack. He looked at the man in confusion. Then commented, "You? But..."

 

Jack expected that kind of reaction and quickly replied, "I never could resist Daniel's call for help."

 

"What?" asked Daniel about half shocked at such an admission from such a stubborn, angry, bitter man. Jack continued, "Instinct. Even now if he yells my name or yells for help...I can't...I respond automatically. I...I don't...I never understood why."

 

"Because you still care about him. When you care about someone it is instinct to respond when they call."

 

"But I can't..."

 

"Why do you keep insisting that you hate him when it’s so obvious that you don't?"

 

"Look Daniel, I...I...I did it again."

 

"What?"

 

"Your name...I..."

 

"Jack, stop fighting your feelings for him."

 

Jack fell silent staring at Daniel, the alternate Daniel. God, the man was right. He still cared about his Daniel, even after everything that had happened. He really needed to talk to him after this Daniel was gone...but he has a symbiote in him...yes, but this Daniel knows of ways to get it out of him. It was worth a try. His thoughts abruptly halted as Doctor Carter asked, "What were you dreaming about?"

 

"I...I don't know. I was in this place. It was like a castle and there was this woman there. She had odd colored eyes. Her eyes were a violet blue, and she had this long black hair..." Daniel fell silent as he saw Sam suddenly glance at Jack in worry and question. They both knew something...something they weren't saying. Daniel wanted to know what that something was. He asked, "What? Do you know who she is?"

 

"Daniel, the woman...she sounds like..."

 

"Isis," added Captain Fraiser.

 

Daniel glanced at each of them a bit perplexed by that answer saying, "No, I've never seen her before in my life. How could I possibly be picturing someone I have never met?"

 

"Our Daniel has seen her..."

 

"Can't be the same person. No, I was just having a nightmare."

 

"What else was in the dream?"

 

"Noth...nothing...just...just a larval Goa'uld."

 

All three people paled as Daniel said that. Daniel felt suddenly very worried and upset. He questioned, "What?"

 

"Our Daniel was made a host by Isis, but surely you're not...that can't be..."

 

"What?"

 

"Dreams...surely they're not of what happened on Maline..."

 

Jack interrupted, "No way that's totally impossible. Are you suggesting that this Daniel is sharing memories with our Daniel? Like some kind of...mental telepathy or something? No way!"

 

Daniel fell suddenly quiet as he contemplated what Jack just suggested. He got to his feet and started to pace. He thought quicker on his feet. He remembered reading something in one of his books about Anubis and the powers of prophecy. As Daniel thought longer about it he recalled a reference to psychic powers. He spoke, "No Jack, not just mental telepathy."

 

"What?"

 

"Clairvoyance."

 

"WHAT? Don't be ridiculous! That is all nonsense!"

 

"Clairvoyance is the power to see objects, visions, dreams...to gain information from across vast distances...to have visions of past and even future events."

 

"I can't believe I'm having this conversation! You're talking about all that psycho mumbo jumbo."

 

Doctor Carter added, "Psychic powers...paranormal psychology."

 

Jack turned to look at Carter in skepticism he added, "Don't tell me you actually believe in that stuff!"

 

"Well...who would've thought that we were capable of space travel and inter-dimensional travel? Why not the existence of psychic powers and abilities?"

 

"This is crazy! You're both crazy! Why would you even bring up such a thing, Doctor Jackson?"

 

"Because of Anubis."

 

"Anubis? What the hell...?"

 

"I think that he is the symbiote your Daniel is carrying. His name is Anubis."

 

"How the hell would you know that?"

 

"I don't know, Jack. It just feels...right. I don't know why."

 

Sam interrupted, "Daniel, why Anubis? Who is he?"

 

"In Ancient Egypt Anubis was known as the god of the dead. He helped in the mummification of Osiris and was responsible for weighing the heart of the dead against a feather. If the heart was heavier than the feather it was given to the Eater of the Dead. He was also the one who performed the 'opening of the mouth' ceremony. He was often represented as a black jackal. Anubis was capable of entering into different states of consciousness. He was a walker between the worlds of the living and of the dead. Since he was capable of traveling between different realms he had the ability of...clairvoyance. It was said that Anubis could foresee a person's destiny..."

 

Jack looked at Daniel thoroughly confused then replied, "And this helps us how exactly?"

 

“Well, it would explain how I’m having dreams of a woman you seem to know. I have never seen her yet I've seen her in my dreams and earlier when we were talking..."

 

"Earlier? When?"

 

"When we were discussing Isis and I told you about the Tok'ra..."

 

"Tok'ra?"

 

Sam and Janet both looked at Daniel thoroughly confused as he prepared to explain to them the difference between a Tok'ra and a Goa'uld.

 

Daniel answered, "They’re like the Goa'uld but oppose them. They only take willing hosts..."

 

"What? I've never heard of the Tok'ra."

 

"If the symbiote in your Daniel is Tok'ra..."

 

"Could we get our Daniel back?" asked Doctor Carter hopefully.

 

"Yes, if he chooses to be separated and the symbiote is Tok'ra he will honor his host's wishes, but he can't do that until he finds another willing host...if Daniel decided to remain a host then... Well, that's another consideration."

 

"That's no consideration! If I can get the damned snake out of him I will!" came Jack's immediate, determined response.

 

"Jack, you can't just..."

 

"The hell I can't!"

 

"You'll kill him!"

 

"How?"

 

"If he wants to remain a host willingly then he has bonded with Anubis. Anubis' sudden absence will possibly send him into shock. Jack, you can't..."

 

"I will!" Jack continued in a strong voice of conviction.

 

Daniel gasped as he heard the faintest of whispers in his mind. A faint feathery touch across his brain as a voice whispered inside his mind, "You cannot allow him to separate us, Daniel...we are bonded..."

 

"WHAT?"

 

Daniel jerked around so fast in response to that whisper. He started breathing heavily and felt chills climb his spine. Doctor Carter noticed Daniel's sudden agitation and quickly responded, "Daniel, what is it? Daniel?"

 

"Did you hear that?"

 

"What?"

 

"I swear I... Forget it."

 

Daniel could hear his heart beating wildly in his own chest. Had he just imagined that faint voice and the light touch on his mind? He suddenly felt cold and wrapped his arms tightly around his body in an effort to ward off those chills. He felt confused, cold and anxious. That voice...it had to be his overactive imagination. It had to be. He sighed as he felt warmth suddenly envelope his body. He glanced up and smiled at Sam as she gently draped the afghan across his shoulders then pulled it across the front of his body. She must've sensed he was cold so she draped the cover across his shoulders. He said, "Thank you. I needed that."

 

"Sure. Here you should really sit down. You look exhausted."

 

Sam attempted to urge Daniel to sit back down in the chair, but he shook off her hands assuring her, "I'm fine, really Sam. I'm fine."

 

"Are you?"

 

Sam looked at him in worry. She knew that something was bothering Daniel, but she also had a very strong feeling that he wouldn't tell her what it was. She hesitantly released him but stayed beside him in case he decided to do as she urged.

 

Daniel glanced at her seeing that she knew he was bothered by something. He reassured her again, "Really, I'm fine. I'm just a bit tired."

 

"All right."

 

Sam backed off but still kept a close eye on him. Something was bothering him, but what was it? She noticed that Daniel was still looking at her and wondered what he was thinking about.

 

Daniel could tell that Sam wasn't completely buying his excuse. She still looked concerned for him, but he wasn't about to tell her that he had heard... a voice. He would sound crazy and there was no way in hell that he would ever return to that white padded prison. No way in hell! Besides he had just imagined that he heard a voice. Of course, maybe he was just really tired and his mind was playing tricks on him. He'd be damned if he would sleep again any time soon! God if he did fall asleep that larval Goa'uld might just enter his mouth...Daniel shivered at that cryptic thought then glanced at Jack. Jack eyed him up and suggested, "You should really get some rest. I'll take you to your room."

 

"NO!"

 

God, no way would he sleep any time soon! No! Sleep was the last thing he wanted right now. Now he needed some coffee, some very strong coffee that was loaded with caffeine. He glanced up as Sam added, "Daniel relax. Colonel O'Neill won't lock it. You'll be able to come and go as you please. Hell, we'll even leave the door open for you."

 

"And the camera?" Daniel suddenly asked.

 

The camera, shit. She'd forgotten about the camera. She was aware that Daniel was a bit uneasy with a camera in his room. She said, "You could sleep in the infirmary. I have some empty beds right now..."

 

"NO!"

 

"Daniel, what's wrong? You need sleep."

 

Sam was watching him again. Looking at him in worry and fear. He sensed that she had an idea why he was refusing to take any of those suggestions. She looked as if she knew. Daniel shook his head then said, "I need to walk. I need some time alone."

 

"It's the middle of the night..."

 

"So it is, but I still need some time alone."

 

"Okay Daniel. Okay."

 

Daniel looked at each person in the room. They obviously didn't realize that sleep was exactly what he didn't want right now. God, that dream was so vivid, so real. He was positive he was chained to that table in that dream. The dream was too real and Daniel sensed if he slept again that thing, that larva, could...God what a nightmare. He said, "I'm going to get some coffee."

 

"Su...sure."

 

They left him go. He entered the break room and started a pot of coffee. When the coffee was done brewing he quickly poured himself a steaming hot cup. His mind continued to flash to that place and that symbiote squirming up across his bare chest. Daniel shivered at the memory. God, dreams were not supposed to be that real, that vivid. It was as if...as if it was actually happening to him. Could he be having dreams of his alternate self, sharing his memories but if so why? How? Anubis...power of precognition, ESP, foreknowledge, telepathy... Telepathy? How could...? Why would...? He heard an answer flitting in his head, "Because...you are in danger, young one. Both of you are in great danger."

 

WHAT? Daniel felt chills climb his spine. He had heard that voice before but... Who? How? Was he losing his mind? He shivered unconsciously as he remembered his visit to the padded room with rather bright clarity. Oh God, please not that again. He wasn't crazy! The voice sounded in his mind again, gentler this time, "No young one, you are not crazy."

 

Daniel mentally replied, "How else can you explain this?"

 

"You must listen, I am Anubis. The one who shares his life with you..."

 

"What?" Daniel spoke aloud without realizing it. The voice sounded again, "With your alternate self... You were right when you said I have the power of telepathy...I am communicating to you from your reality, Daniel Jackson."

 

Daniel was now thoroughly confused and even a bit scared. How the hell was this even possible? What the hell was going on? He gulped a mouthful of coffee swallowing it then closed his eyes. He was back in that room the larva squirming up across his chest heading for his throat. He gasped, tensing he said, "Oh God!" His eyes flew open and for an instant he saw the room superimposed over the coffee stand. He shook his head to clear it. He had to sit down. He found himself sinking into a nearby chair. He sat the coffee cup down then folded his arms onto the table pressing his head into his folded arms. He was so tired. Why was he suddenly so tired? God, he shouldn't be this tired.

 

Daniel closed his eyes as sleep threatened to consume him. He shouldn't sleep. If he slept the nightmare would return. He couldn't sleep! But he felt himself falling into the abyss of sleep as if he had been drugged. He felt as if he was being forced to go to sleep. He didn't like that feeling at all. His mind went blank then he saw himself in that room again. As he looked around this time he saw that it was a throne room. The room looked like it was in a castle right out of the Middle Ages. He glanced up...she was there, the woman with the odd colored eyes. He felt fear envelope him as he saw her and tried to fight to awake but he couldn't. It was as if he was being forced to remain asleep. He started to panic when a faint whisper came through to him, "I am sorry, Daniel. You must know what happened so that you can help save him."

 

"What are you talking about? What the hell is going on? Why can't I wake up?"

 

He sensed sadness from somewhere, not his sadness, that of someone else. He sensed guilt as the voice continued, "I am sorry, young one. I did not mean to hurt you only to help you understand. I..."

 

"You forced me to sleep, didn't you? How?"

 

"Part of my abilities, young one. I sent you deeply asleep and now I fear it will do you more harm than good. What you are seeing now is what happened to my host..."

 

"Your host?"

 

"Yes, my host. My host is you, Daniel. Isis forced us to be joined. The joining was not easy for either of us. I am sorry for what I have done to you. I did not know our connection could be so strong."

 

"We have no connection."

 

"But I do. When we switched places...you and the Daniel of the reality you are now in for a moment we were one, all of us: you, my host and I. We merged briefly when we were transferred. We should have never been switched Daniel, but it has happened."

 

“This is crazy! It's impossible!"

 

"It only seems impossible in a race such as yours. You are still very young and your people are very young. As you advance you will see all that is impossible to you now will be totally possible. You and your people have much to learn."

 

"You sound like the Nox."

 

"You have heard of the Nox?"

 

"I've actually met the Nox."

 

"I see."

 

Daniel's dream, if that's what you could call this, suddenly drew his full attention as it changed. He was back on that table with the symbiote peering at him. Daniel froze as the thing suddenly reared up. He saw it leap for his mouth and screamed as he felt pain like no other fill his body. He tried to wake but couldn't as the pain seemed to fill him. He felt his body stiffen as he heard a voice speaking, 'Do not fight me, young one. We will be together a long time. If you resist me I will be forced to subdue you. I do not wish to have to make you suffer, Daniel.'

 

Daniel struggled to awake but couldn't seem to open his eyes. He became faintly aware of hands on him. Someone was shaking him and calling his name. He tried to awake but couldn't. He started to panic realizing he couldn't open his eyes, he couldn't move. Then a voice spoke softly, calmly to him, "You must relax, young one. You must relax. Clear your mind of all thoughts, all feelings. Breathe, Daniel, breathe. You are all right. You are just very tired. Relax, Daniel, relax. Please, you must. It is dangerous for you to remain under my influence for so long. You must awake...I am very sorry for the pain that I have unjustly caused you, young one. Please awake."

 

Daniel heard that voice mixed with that of three others. He honed in on one particular voice, the voice that always seemed to keep him effectively grounded: Jack O'Neill. God, Jack was here. He then heard a distinct feminine voice saying, "I think he's waking."

 

"Oh thank God!" came the voice of a very scared, very fearful Colonel O'Neill. Daniel groaned as his head pounded excessively. God but did his head ever hurt. He muttered, "J'ak...Jack, that you?"

 

"Yes Daniel, yes. Wake up, please."

 

Daniel opened his eyes looking into a pair of brown eyes full of worry and fear, full of concern. He didn't see that anger, that rage and that bitterness this Jack carried with him like a shield. Daniel asked, "What happened?"

 

"I was about to ask you the same question."

 

"God my head hurts."

 

Doctor Carter spoke, "You must have fallen asleep. We heard you screaming so we came running. We...we couldn't wake you. You were unresponsive."

 

"What?"

 

"We've been trying to wake you for the passed five minutes. God, are you all right?"

 

"We're in danger!" Daniel pronounced as the warning suddenly came back at him full force. It was Anubis' warning that he and his alternate self were in great danger. He remembered it so clearly.

 

Sam looked at him in concern and worry, "What?"

 

"He said that we're in danger."

 

"He said? Who?"

 

"Me and my...alternate..."

 

"What? You're not making sense."

 

"None of this makes any sense, Sam. I need to go back to PQR-189...try to return to my reality but first, Jack...your Daniel...he has a Tok'ra in him. I'm sure of that now...and he doesn't wish to be separated from him."

 

"WHAT?"

 

"You must accept him and his choices, Jack. You must honor his choices. If they are separated both the host and the symbiote will die."

 

"But you said..."

 

"Yes, they still can be separated but to do so now could kill your Daniel. When Sam was inhabited by Jolinar she..."

 

Doctor Carter spoke up half-fearful, "Inhabited by Jolinar?"

 

"Yes. She was a Tok'ra spy. She jumped into Sam because she was desperate. A hired killer was after her. We discovered that she was a Tok'ra. Sam and Jolinar were only together for a short time before the Ash'rack found them and attempted to execute Jolinar."

 

"Wha...what happened?" questioned Doctor Carter, who was both scared and curious at the same time. Her alternate self had been a host to a Goa'uld? No, not Goa'uld...a Tok'ra... Daniel called her a Tok'ra and from what Daniel said they only took willing hosts... She spoke, "I thought you said they only took willing hosts?"

 

"They do but in Jolinar's case she had no choice. She did it out of necessity and out of a desire to live."

 

"Oh...what happened then?"

 

"Jolinar and Sam both ended up near death after the Ash'rack attacked."

 

“Ash'rack?"

 

"A hired assassin. A hired killer sent by the Goa'uld to eliminate the Tok'ra, Jolinar... She died to give Sam life. When she realized that Sam would die if they remained together and bonded...she chose to die to give Sam life. She died, Sam didn't."

 

"Wow," was all Sam could seem to utter. Her alternate had been a host? The symbiote in her had died so that she could live? These...Tok'ra, as Daniel called them, sounded like they could be strong allies. As she looked at Colonel O'Neill she saw that he didn't like this idea of Tok'ra and Goa'ulds one bit. To Colonel O'Neill the best Goa'uld was a dead Goa'uld, the best snake was a dead snake. They were all evil. Daniel was telling them that was not entirely true. Daniel's voice broke her stream of thought as he said, "I have to go back to PQR-189... I have to go back to my reality."

 

"Whoa, wait just a minute, you said that you weren't even sure how you ended up here. How do you know going to that planet will send you back?"

 

"I don't know, but I can't stay here and I have to at least try. This isn't my world. I don't belong here. He doesn't belong there..."

 

"Well, you're not going any where tonight," replied Jack firmly.

 

"Jack..."

 

"No. Get some sleep."

 

"I just did."

 

"No, you didn't."

 

"Jack, I was asleep for at least..."

 

"Several minutes, Doctor Jackson."

 

"WHAT? But I was so..."

 

"Deeply asleep? Yeah, we noticed that."

 

"It couldn't have been only a few minutes."

 

"Well...it was. Your coffee is still warm."

 

Daniel stuck his finger in the coffee gasping when he realized that it was indeed still warm. All he could say was, "Oh."

 

Colonel O'Neill, Captain Fraiser and Doctor Carter sat with their guest for a while sensing that he really didn't want to be alone. He soon drifted asleep as did the other three.

 

                                                    * * * * * *

Anubis awoke first and checked on his host to assure himself that Daniel was resting comfortably. He smiled as he sensed Daniel was deep asleep. He got up and headed for the coffee room. His host loved coffee and as the man insisted on drinking so much of it...well, he had before Isis captured him, Anubis decided to treat him to some. He entered the coffee room where some was already brewing.

 

An Airman glanced up as he saw Daniel approach. He smiled then said, "Good morning, Doctor Jackson. Getting coffee already?"

 

"Yes." He smiled at the man. The man continued, "Freshly brewed. I made it myself. Enjoy."

 

"Thanks."

 

Anubis' smile broadened, so the Daniel of this reality loved coffee as much as his host did? Interesting. He wondered just how many similarities there were between the Daniel of this world and his host.

 

Anubis' thoughts quickly focused on the Daniel of this reality. He remembered all too clearly the events of the past eight hours. Last night he had surprised Doctor Jackson and scared him, at the same time, when he talked with him telepathically. He had traveled through different states of consciousness before and had sent mental messages to others, but he never expected to actually connect with the Daniel of this reality. What surprised him even more about last nights' events was that the man had heard him. Anubis found that to be very odd. The only possible explanation he could think of to cause this was that when they had been switched on that planet by the rings, at one point, all three of them were one: one body, three minds and three souls... They were all interconnected. His brief contact with the spirit, the soul, the ba of the Daniel of this world was definitely unusual. Anubis was one who protected the ba of others, ba being another word for the spirit. In the Old Ages he had been called upon to protect the ba when the sick were being cared for and treated with medicines. His close connection to the spirit world could definitely account for his ability to bind briefly with both Daniels and then be able to communicate to both of them.

 

Anubis never understood the full extent of his abilities; he didn't consider his abilities powers because he knew that there were other beings out there also capable of such communication. The Asgard, for example, could speak inside the minds of others. They were beings capable of telepathy. The Ancients, the original gate builders, were also said to possess many gifts. The people of Daniel's world called those...gifts psychic abilities. He had been surprised that his host even knew of such...abilities existing, after all, the Tau'ri were young, very young. Many things that are, indeed, possible fell into the realm of impossible in a Tau'ri's mind. Their race was not advanced cognitively enough to be able to fully comprehend some things, but they were learning.

 

Anubis felt bad for what he had done to the Daniel of this reality. He had greatly misjudged some of his abilities. He had meant only to heighten Doctor Jackson's level of consciousness. Instead, he ended up sending the man deeply asleep. He had scared the young man and felt badly for doing him harm. He hadn't meant to send him asleep. He was extremely glad that Doctor Jackson had listened to him and had managed to break Anubis' forced will on him. He hadn't planned on doing that and as the Daniel of this world sensed he couldn't awake, that he no longer possessed control over his own actions, he had panicked. The man greatly feared losing his complete control. When Anubis had briefly touched the other's mind he had sensed the man's anger towards the Goa'uld and his fear of being made a host. He knew part of the reason that fear came across so strongly was because he had just witnessed and felt the forced possession of Anubis' host while in a dream state. Anubis didn't expect those memories to be so realistic to the archaeologist. He knew that he should touch the other's mind again to reassure him that he wasn't going crazy. He had discovered that the man greatly feared being labeled crazy and schizophrenic. When he sensed that he caught a brief glimpse of an image of Daniel in a white padded room, knees pulled up to his chest, hands held together as if secured by invisible binds, and his face devoid of all emotion. Anubis had shivered at that image in his mind and now, as he looked back on it, he was sure he had some how touched on a memory of Daniel's. Like his host, the Daniel of this world obviously had suffered through and survived a lot. Again, Anubis found himself wondering why so many people wanted to hurt Daniel Jackson.

 

Anubis focused on the task at hand debating whether or not he should attempt telepathic communication with Daniel Jackson again. Would the man be able to accept what Anubis told him last night in his dreams? He hoped so.

 

He poured some coffee into a cup and took a seat. As he raised the cup of steaming brown liquid to his lips he smiled as he sensed the stirrings of his host. Daniel was awaking. Anubis couldn't help it as he said, "Daniel, you really should avoid this coffee."

 

He heard Daniel's sleepy voice reply, "I should avoid it? How about you? I think you drink more of that stuff than I do."

 

"You have a point, young one. Maybe we both should stop drinking it."

 

Silence followed that comment then both him and Daniel spoke in unison, "Nah, never going to happen," and they both started laughing.

 

Anubis glanced up as Colonel O'Neill approached. He looked concerned. He asked, "Daniel are you all right?"

 

"Yes, why?"

 

"You're laughing and you're...alone."

 

"Sorry. A little inside joke as you Tau'ri would call it."

 

"Anubis."

 

"Yes... I am sorry if we have upset you."

 

"We?"

 

"Daniel and I."

 

"Oh."

 

"We were discussing our...need of coffee."

 

"Oh."

 

"Yes, it would seem that I have become fond of the taste myself."

 

"With Daniel you have to. He drinks more coffee than...sorry."

 

"You miss him, do you not?"

 

“Yes, very much."

 

"He is all right. He will be returning."

 

"I hope so."

 

"He will."

 

Jack glanced up at Anubis as he sensed an underlying certainty behind those words. As if Anubis knew Daniel would return shortly. God, he hoped so. He missed his Daniel...a lot.

 

 

Next:

 

      PART 4

 

 

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