Inevitable

                                                                                                                                      By:  shortstuff8379   

 

 

CATEGORY:  Drama, Episode Related

SEASON/SPOILERS:  Season 10  “Unending”

WARNINGS:  None

 

AUTHOR’S WEBSITE:

 

  http://shortstuff8379.livejournal.com/

 

 

“And the worst part, the worst part about that is, you know that!”

She hadn’t expected this torrent of words thrown at her, hadn’t anticipated the emotional bruises such words would inflict. She had come to his room seeking…something. What that something was, she still wasn’t quite sure.

“So I'm so sorry if I'm not more appreciative of that and I'm so sorry that you're bored. But don't you pretend it's anything else!”

Now, it seemed she had no need to find out.

The air in the room seemed unnaturally still as Daniel fell silent behind her. Vala quickly wiped the tears from her face. She couldn’t let him see the pain his tirade had caused, couldn’t risk allowing her last shreds of pride to be destroyed like that.

Vala stood, pulling her shirt on as she did, keeping her back to him.

“Of course, Daniel,” she said brusquely, yanking the hem of her shirt down as she moved towards the door. “My apologies for disturbing you. I certainly won’t inconvenience you any further.” She fought to keep her voice and her hands steady as she opened the door and walked out, desperate to escape the stifling air of his quarters and flee to the quiet isolation of hers.

“Vala, wait!”

She heard the sound of his feet behind her, but didn’t slow. All she wanted was to retreat to the safety of her room and start gathering what little dignity she had left.

“Vala!” His voice was closer now, the sound of his footsteps quicker. When his hand touched her shoulder, she closed her eyes in defeat.

“Yes, Daniel?” She forced the words out as calmly as she could.

She heard him sigh, a long, drawn out sound filled with a defeat that mirrored her own.

“About what I said.” Her shoulders tensed, her back instinctively straightening against the memory of the verbal barrage. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—“

“Yes, you should have.” She finally turned to face him, forcing herself to meet his gaze unflinchingly. “And you’re not sorry. Not really.” Her voice was quiet, even, betraying none of the overwhelming emotions swirling through her. “You needed to say what you said.” And I needed to hear it, she told herself silently. His rejection, in an odd way, both wounded and liberated her. Now, she could stop deluding herself into believing that Daniel harbored some feelings of affection towards her, that he felt something other than annoyance and exasperation when he saw her walking into his office, or heard her voice ringing down the halls at the SGC. All illusions and hopes had been shattered, and she could now go back to the person she’d been before all this.

He’d made her weak, she realized. Made her want to be something more, something better. Slowly, without her wanting or even realizing it, his opinion of her had begun to matter, as no other ever had. And because of it, somewhere along the way, she’d stopped protecting herself and her interests and started wanting his approval. She’d allowed others to influence her actions, to cloud her judgment.

She’d allowed herself to become vulnerable.

A mistake, as was now obvious, but something that could be rectified. Liberated from any obligation to him, she could focus on defeating the Ori, saving the world, and coming out of the battle unscathed. Physically and emotionally.

Or at least, that’s what she tried to convince herself. The lump in her throat and the pain in her chest refused to be swayed.

She glanced away, staring intently at the wall beside Daniel’s head, breath hitching slightly before she could control it. “I’m just sorry I didn’t realize it before.”

His hand gently touched her cheek, slowly turning her face back towards his and forcing her to meet his eyes. The intensity of them startled her, the deep blue seemingly reaching into her mind and reading her every thought.

“What do you want from me, Vala?” His voice held the barest hint of desperation. “Just sex? Something to relieve the boredom? I don’t know what you want.” He shook his head, frustration joining maelstrom of emotion in his eyes. “Do you even know what you want?”

Something. Everything. Anything. “Nothing.” She raised her eyebrows, clinging to the last pieces of her unaffected and indifferent facade. “At least, that’s what you want, isn’t it?” The anger finally began to surface, along with the hurt. Voice icy, she said coldly, “You made that abundantly clear.”

“Vala.” There was a hint of warning in his voice. “Don’t mess with me.”

The growing outrage and resentment she’d been holding back broke through. “Don’t mess with you?” She laughed bitterly. “Why must you assume that I’m messing with you? Is it so unbelievable an idea that I could feel something other than greed and lust? Is it so hard to believe that everything I do and say is not just a con?” As Daniel opened his mouth to speak, she interrupted, eyes flashing. “No, Daniel. You’ve already said your piece. Let me finish.”

He closed his mouth, and she continued, her words harsh and biting. “There was a time, a very long time, where I though I would never depend on another person again, because it quite simply wasn’t worth the trouble. I worked to protect myself, and only myself, because no one else mattered. I didn’t want, need, or seek out anyone. But then, all of the sudden, I meet you and your ragtag band of explorers, and I find myself inexplicably drawn to you all.” She rolled her eyes. “At first, yes, it was because I wanted to try and cheat you out of some valuable little trinket. But then, I found myself entangled in your mission to save the galaxy, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stay away. So I decided, for once, to stay and become a part of something. I’ve worked hard to fit in at the SGC, to become someone that you all could respect instead of merely tolerate. I’ve tried.” Tears rose unbidden to her eyes, but were mercilessly forced back. “But apparently, I’ve failed, because I seem to be just as untrustworthy and repulsive as ever.” Her voice lowered to a rough, bitter hiss. “Silly me for thinking I could ever be anything different to you.”

Vala turned, determined to get as far away from Daniel as fast as possible. But before she could move more than a step, she found herself being whirled around and pulled against him, his lips finding hers. His hand slid up to cup her cheek, his arm wrapping around her waist and pulling her still closer to him. Vala’s eyes involuntarily closed and a quiet moan escaped as she hesitantly melted against him. The heated kiss slowly became a tender caress, the hard press of his mouth gentling into a soft brush against her swollen lips.

Unhurriedly, Daniel pulled away, leaning his forehead against hers. Vala released a shaky breath, eyes flickering open. She raised her eyes to meet his, uncertainty and insecurity still coursing through her.

“You’d better not be messing with me,” she whispered.

He pulled her in for another kiss, and that was all the answer she needed.

 

 

                                                                                 ** The End **   

 

 

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