Inevitable
By: shortstuff8379
CATEGORY: Drama, Episode Related
SEASON/SPOILERS: Season 10 “Unending”
WARNINGS: None
AUTHOR’S WEBSITE:
http://shortstuff8379.livejournal.com/
“And the worst part, the worst part about that is, you know
that!”
She hadn’t expected this torrent of words thrown at her, hadn’t anticipated the
emotional bruises such words would inflict. She had come to his room
seeking…something. What that something was, she still wasn’t quite sure.
“So I'm so sorry if I'm not more appreciative of that and I'm so sorry that
you're bored. But don't you pretend it's anything else!”
Now, it seemed she had no need to find out.
The air in the room seemed unnaturally still as Daniel fell silent behind her.
Vala quickly wiped the tears from her face. She couldn’t let him see the pain
his tirade had caused, couldn’t risk allowing her last shreds of pride to be
destroyed like that.
Vala stood, pulling her shirt on as she did, keeping her back to him.
“Of course, Daniel,” she said brusquely, yanking the hem of her shirt down as
she moved towards the door. “My apologies for disturbing you. I certainly won’t
inconvenience you any further.” She fought to keep her voice and her hands
steady as she opened the door and walked out, desperate to escape the stifling
air of his quarters and flee to the quiet isolation of hers.
“Vala, wait!”
She heard the sound of his feet behind her, but didn’t slow. All she wanted was
to retreat to the safety of her room and start gathering what little dignity
she had left.
“Vala!” His voice was closer now, the sound of his footsteps quicker. When his
hand touched her shoulder, she closed her eyes in defeat.
“Yes, Daniel?” She forced the words out as calmly as she could.
She heard him sigh, a long, drawn out sound filled with a defeat that mirrored
her own.
“About what I said.” Her shoulders tensed, her back instinctively straightening
against the memory of the verbal barrage. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—“
“Yes, you should have.” She finally turned to face him, forcing herself to meet
his gaze unflinchingly. “And you’re not sorry. Not really.” Her voice was
quiet, even, betraying none of the overwhelming emotions swirling through her.
“You needed to say what you said.” And I needed to hear it, she told herself
silently. His rejection, in an odd way, both wounded and liberated her. Now,
she could stop deluding herself into believing that Daniel harbored some
feelings of affection towards her, that he felt something other than annoyance
and exasperation when he saw her walking into his office, or heard her voice
ringing down the halls at the SGC. All illusions and hopes had been shattered,
and she could now go back to the person she’d been before all this.
He’d made her weak, she realized. Made her want to be something more, something
better. Slowly, without her wanting or even realizing it, his opinion of her
had begun to matter, as no other ever had. And because of it, somewhere along
the way, she’d stopped protecting herself and her interests and started wanting
his approval. She’d allowed others to influence her actions, to cloud her
judgment.
She’d allowed herself to become vulnerable.
A mistake, as was now obvious, but something that could be rectified. Liberated
from any obligation to him, she could focus on defeating the Ori, saving the
world, and coming out of the battle unscathed. Physically and emotionally.
Or at least, that’s what she tried to convince herself. The lump in her throat
and the pain in her chest refused to be swayed.
She glanced away, staring intently at the wall beside Daniel’s head, breath
hitching slightly before she could control it. “I’m just sorry I didn’t realize
it before.”
His hand gently touched her cheek, slowly turning her face back towards his and
forcing her to meet his eyes. The intensity of them startled her, the deep blue
seemingly reaching into her mind and reading her every thought.
“What do you want from me, Vala?” His voice held the barest hint of
desperation. “Just sex? Something to relieve the boredom? I don’t know what you
want.” He shook his head, frustration joining maelstrom of emotion in his eyes.
“Do you even know what you want?”
Something. Everything. Anything. “Nothing.” She raised her eyebrows, clinging
to the last pieces of her unaffected and indifferent facade. “At least, that’s
what you want, isn’t it?” The anger finally began to surface, along with the
hurt. Voice icy, she said coldly, “You made that abundantly clear.”
“Vala.” There was a hint of warning in his voice. “Don’t mess with me.”
The growing outrage and resentment she’d been holding back broke through.
“Don’t mess with you?” She laughed bitterly. “Why must you assume that I’m
messing with you? Is it so unbelievable an idea that I could feel something
other than greed and lust? Is it so hard to believe that everything I do and
say is not just a con?” As Daniel opened his mouth to speak, she interrupted,
eyes flashing. “No, Daniel. You’ve already said your piece. Let me finish.”
He closed his mouth, and she continued, her words harsh and biting. “There was
a time, a very long time, where I though I would never depend on another person
again, because it quite simply wasn’t worth the trouble. I worked to protect
myself, and only myself, because no one else mattered. I didn’t want, need, or
seek out anyone. But then, all of the sudden, I meet you and your ragtag band
of explorers, and I find myself inexplicably drawn to you all.” She rolled her
eyes. “At first, yes, it was because I wanted to try and cheat you out of some
valuable little trinket. But then, I found myself entangled in your mission to
save the galaxy, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stay away. So I
decided, for once, to stay and become a part of something. I’ve worked hard to
fit in at the SGC, to become someone that you all could respect instead of
merely tolerate. I’ve tried.” Tears rose unbidden to her eyes, but were
mercilessly forced back. “But apparently, I’ve failed, because I seem to be
just as untrustworthy and repulsive as ever.” Her voice lowered to a rough,
bitter hiss. “Silly me for thinking I could ever be anything different to you.”
Vala turned, determined to get as far away from Daniel as fast as possible. But
before she could move more than a step, she found herself being whirled around
and pulled against him, his lips finding hers. His hand slid up to cup her
cheek, his arm wrapping around her waist and pulling her still closer to him.
Vala’s eyes involuntarily closed and a quiet moan escaped as she hesitantly
melted against him. The heated kiss slowly became a tender caress, the hard
press of his mouth gentling into a soft brush against her swollen lips.
Unhurriedly, Daniel pulled away, leaning his forehead against hers. Vala
released a shaky breath, eyes flickering open. She raised her eyes to meet his,
uncertainty and insecurity still coursing through her.
“You’d better not be messing with me,” she whispered.
He pulled her in for another kiss, and that was all the answer she needed.
** The End
**
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