Insidious   

                                                                                                                                                By:  shiny rosie   

 

 

CATEGORY:  Angst

SEASON/SPOILERS:  Season 10  “Memento Mori” and “Company of Thieves” (pretty vague but still there).

WARNINGS:  None

 

AUTHOR’S NOTES:  Set after “Company of Thieves” (as in they are on their way to the post mission check up).  Well…it’s been a dark week…so you get a dark fic…I’m pretty sure part 1 of 2.  This isn’t where it ends but I don’t have the ending yet.

 

AUTHOR’S WEBSITE:

 

  http://shiny-rosie.livejournal.com/ 

 

 

He’s walking three feet ahead of her. He tells himself that it’s just because his legs are longer even though he doesn’t believe it for a moment.

He’s seen her legs.

He can feel her eyes on him. They burn into his back and make it hard to breath. He knows he could try to fix it with a word or a look. It might even really be that easy.

He walks on.

Things have just gotten so damn complicated and he doesn’t even know when it happened. One moment he was taking a friend out to dinner; the next the bottom of his world fell out in a horribly familiar way and he realized that every landmark he’d built for himself over the years was obsolete.

When they brought her home he thought things would go back to the way they’d been. But he’d stepped over a line somewhere along the way and even as he began to scramble back he knew it was too late. He didn’t know what to do, so he pulled on the old cover of sharp words and quick wit, but it didn’t fit the way it used to. There was something new, something angry and sharp and more hurtful than he ever intended it to be. His face burns at the memory of his words to her in the cargo ship.

That hadn’t been wit or sniping.

Sniping Vala can do, she thrives on it really. But this was something more, words intended to sting and he’d watched her face change as they hit the center of their mark. The worst part had been the wholly unexpected relief that had flooded through him as she stiffened at turned away.

He knows he’s being an ass. He knows he’s stronger than this, better. At least he used to be. He caught Teal’c’s silent disapproval. He hasn’t missed Sam’s questioning glances or Mitchell’s raised eyebrows. They’re all so sure he’s not acting like himself today. But he’s no Hercules and no matter how hard he tries he’s no shining knight. He’s just Daniel. Lost, confused, screwed up Daniel who isn’t sure which direction is up anymore.

He walks through the infirmary door without waiting for her to catch up and hates himself just a little bit more. Yes he’s an ass. But way deep down he’s ok with that.

Because it’s easier by far to admit that you’re an ass than to believe that you’re a coward.

 

 

 

Feedback to:  aeryn_maldoran@yahoo.com   

 

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