Judge Not
By: Maeve Bran
CATEGORY: Angst
SEASON/SPOILERS: Season 10 “Dominion”
WARNINGS: Some talk about sex
AUTHOR’S WEBSITE:
http://www.fanfiction.net/~maevebran
Daniel waited until everyone but Vala left the briefing
room. Then he reached over to where Vala still sat, and put an arm around her.
She had made it through the briefing without crying but Daniel had a feeling
that soon it would all hit her. As much as she annoyed him and plagued his
every free moment, Daniel would never let a friend and coworker suffer through
the emotional upheaval alone. He knew what ever comfort he chose to offer could
very well be misconstrued but he'd offer it any way.
"Vala," he said gently. "Do you want to talk?"
"About what?" She returned blankly.
"About Adria. About watching her Ascend. About how you're dealing with
having two sets of memories, one of which include our betrayal of you. About
anything else on your mind," Daniel suggested.
"Sure. But not here. Not on base," Vala insisted. "It reminds me
too much of everything."
"Ok. Where do you want to go?" Daniel inquired.
"I don't know and don't care," She answered, "As long as it is a
way from here it doesn't matter."
Daniel looked at her- really looked at her, and noticed that she appeared close
to braking. There was no hope for it, he thought, he'd have to take her home.
She might not care now but if she lost it in public she'd hate him.
"Come on," He said as he led her from the briefing room.
Vala walked on autopilot through the signing out process. She said nothing and
went where Daniel guided. It wasn't until Daniel drove his jeep out of the
checkpoint that marked the entrance to the base that Vala spoke.
"Where are we going?" she asked distractedly.
"My house," he replied. She looked at him, puzzled, so he continued,
"I don't go there much anymore but it is a sound investment for all that
hazard pay I accumulate. "
"Oh. I thought you lived on base," Vala said to keep up her side of
the conversation.
"I do now, mostly, but I haven't always. I've moved or have been moved
several times since joining the SGC but I do try to keep a place off the base
to give me a sense of normality and permanence," Daniel explained.
"Oh," Vala said. "Wait, why have you been moved?"
"Those are kind of funny stories," he said with a dry laugh.
"The first time was in my first year with SG1. I was kidnapped by an Ohm
named Nem. He implanted the memory of my death in the others. They reported it
to General Hammond, the general at the time. He declared me dead, held a
memorial service, and had Jack, Sam and Teal'c pack up my apartment. So when I
returned from the supposed dead, I had to get a new place. The other time was
after my Ascension. Jack kept my personal items and some of the more
interesting artifacts in storage, but they sold or donated most of my stuff and
canceled my lease on that apartment. Not that I blame them I had died, for real
that time."
"It would make sense," Vala said just to show she had been listening.
"Well the next time I moved was after Osiris shot up my
neighborhood," Daniel said blandly as he pulled the jeep into his
driveway.
"Osiris?" Vala asked, "As in the former System Lord? Why would
she do that?"
"She was an old friend. Actually an ex-girlfriend," Daniel answered
as he opened the door. "Wait you referred to Osiris as a she. I was under
the impression that Sarah was the only female host he had ever had. So when did
you meet her?"
Vala followed him inside. "There was this summit of various, for a lack of
a better term, female Goa'ulds," Vala explained. "While Osiris liked
to pretend he was still a he, he knew he could get certain information better
if he took advantage of being a she so Osiris showed up. Now that I think about
it, he was ranting about this one Tauri and how he'd use his host's memories
against him if they ever crossed paths again. I guess that was you."
"Yeah that was me," Daniel agreed. "Osiris used a Goa'uld memory
device to insert himself into my memories of Sarah to try to get me to
translate the tablet to tell him where Atlantis is. It didn't work and we were
able to capture Osiris and free Sarah but in the process, my house and a couple
of cars got shot up so I had to move. I bought this house then That was three
years ago. It's the second longest I've ever had the same address in my entire
life. the first being those four years just before my Ascension."
Daniel picked up the mail from where it had piled up on the floor and was
sorting through it. It was mostly junk because all the utilities were automatically
deducted from his account so he'd never lose electricity or water. Vala slowly
moved around the hall and into the living room as she looked at the artifacts
and books that lined the walls.
"Would you like a drink?" he asked as he set down the now sorted
mail. "I have water, coffee, and tea. Unless you like something harder.
Then I have beer or whiskey."
"Whiskey sounds good right now," Vala ventured.
"I imagine it does. " Daniel said as he walked over to the small
built in bar at the side of the living room. He poured two glasses of the amber
liquid. A single shot for himself and a triple shot for her. He wasn't trying
to get her drunk but he knew from regrettable experience how hard losing family
to the bad guys could be. Besides as a former host, it took a lot of alcohol to
get her drunk. He doubted that she'd get drunk if she drank two full fifths of
whiskey. He walked over and handed her the glass.
"Thanks," Vala said looking in to the glass. She sat on the edge of
the couch. Daniel moved to sit on the arm of the couch by her side. He was
close enough to put a hand on her shoulder if she needed but far enough away
not to crowd her.
"You were right," Vala glanced up at him. "Adria was my
daughter. I always felt it and loved her as such. Part of me tried to believe
that I didn't because it was easier to fight her and the Ori if I believed she
wasn't my daughter. If I told myself that I was just a packing crate and she
the cargo, I could possibly bring myself to kill her if I had to. I almost did
you know."
"No I didn't know. When was this?" Daniel asked quietly.
"Just before she Ascended. I grabbed the gun off one of the unconscious
airmen and pointed it at her. She used her powers to rip it out of my hands,
levitate me, and choke me."
"I'm sorry," He put his hand on her back and rubbed gentle circles.
"I know how you feel."
"How? Do you have some homicidal child running around the galaxy I don't
know about?" Vala asked trying to lighten the mood.
Daniel gave her a weak smile. "No children, homicidal or otherwise. But
just before Sha're was killed, I had been pointing a gun at Amaunet, the
Goa'uld that inhabited her. She used the ribbon device on me and made me drop
the gun. The next instant Teal'c entered the tent and shot Amaunet dead. Sha're
lived just long enough to tell me that loved me before she too died."
Vala looked up at Teal'c's name. "Teal'c killed your wife? And you trust
him?"
"Yes to both," Daniel answered. "Teal'c not only killed Sha're
but was the Jaffa who chose her out of a room pf potential hosts. It took a
while but yes I trust Teal'c. I trust him with my life."
Vala was stunned. No wonder he had argued to have her on the team. No wonder he
trusted her. She had only hijacked the Prometheus and kicked the crap out of
him before he finally won. Then she had bound him to her with the bracelets for
a couple months. But neither of those were as bad as what Teal'c had done.
Daniel had, apparently, an endless supply of forgiveness.
When she didn't say anything, Daniel continued, "I don't want you to see
Teal'c any differently than you do now. When he chose Sha're he was still First
Prime to Apophis and doing his job. When he killed her, he did it to save my
life." She nodded. "The rest of SG1, have at one time or another held
a weapon on the others at one time or another. Granted, threatening your
friends isn't the same as threatening your daughter, but I guess what I'm
saying is that none of us are going to judge you."
"Tell me about those times. I don't believe you about threatening each
other. You are like family to each other," Vala said in disbelief.
"Well there was the time that Anubis had taken me over. Teal'c zatted me
but that didn't stop him/me so jack shot me. In the arm. I had been shooting up
the Gate room and had taken a hostage. That wasn't the first time Teal'c zatted
me either." Daniel saw her raised eyebrows at that and continued. "In
our second year, Sam had been taken over by a Tok'ra who was being hunted by an
Ash'srak. The Ash'srak was trying to get through the Gate and had me hostage.
In order to get the Ash'srak, who had an arm around my neck and was using me as
a shield, Teal'c had to zat me too."
Vala was amazed. Jack, Daniel's best friend, had actually shot him. "That
covers Jack and Teal'c. So what about you and Sam?"
"Sam zatted me too. Granted she was possessed by Anubis at the time.
Anubis left her for Jack, but we didn’t know that so Teal'c pointed a zat her.
Heck even Mitchell has gotten in to the act," Daniel joked.
"What do you mean?" Vala asked.
"Remember when I was a Prior?" Daniel started.
"How could I forget that you let my homicidal daughter make you one of her
minions," Vala said acerbically.
"Yes. Well. That's not the point," Daniel tried to get back on track.
"When you beamed me on board the Odyssey, I barely got out a greeting
before Mitchell zatted me." He paused. "Come to think of it, even
you've zatted me."
"I have?" Vala inquired.
"How can you forget? You zatted me or the equivalent when we met. Before
you removed the Kull warrior suit. You zatted me and bound me to the captain's
chair of the Prometheus," Daniel reminded her.
"Oh yeah. I did," Vala remembered. "You were so cute when you
were unconscious."
Daniel blushed. "Anyway. You wanted to know about me and pointing weapons
at friends," Vala nodded. Daniel continued, "How about, a few months
ago when you had a gun pointed at me and were trying to run? I had a zat
pointed at you to stop you. I would have used it too to get you to stop. Not as
payback but to get you to stop so we could bring you back to the base."
"I’m sorry for that," Vala mumbled.
"I know you are. You were scared. I understand that," Daniel said
softly.
He sat his now empty glass on the coffee table and moved to sit beside her. He
put his arm around her and with his free hand took her empty glass from her
hand and put it beside his. She looked up to his eyes, with tears welling up in
them. He pulled her gently to his shoulder and wrapped the other arm around
her. She sat for a moment just enjoying being held then the tears, that she
could no longer hold back, fell. She cried until their was nothing left in her.
Daniel held her for awhile. It felt right when she let her flirty- sexy armor
fall away and was a vulnerable woman. It was this woman, the one he had brief
glimpses of, that he loved. The woman she was most of the time drove him nuts
because he knew she could be much more than just the sexy ex thief. Since she
refused to be anything but the ex thief he wouldn't allow himself to give in to
the growing feelings for fear she would throw them back in his face. Then there
was the fact that she was still married to Tomin. He knew for a fact that Tomin
was still alive because he had seen Tomin while still a Prior a couple months
ago.
Vala's mood shifted. She grew restless and twisted in his arms until her mouth
was just inches from his. She leaned up and he leaned down. The kiss started
out soft and tender, but then passion built. Vala tried to climb on his lap but
that was when Daniel ended it.
"I just can't do this, Vala," Daniel explained as he disentangled
himself from her.
"Do what? Have sex? Are you incapable or something?" She asked with a
bit of a bite.
"No. I'm capable. And a part of me wants to. But what then? We just have
sex the one time and move on. Or do we live together? And what about Tomin? You
are still married to him." Daniel pointed out as he started to pace.
"Why do we have to know where this is going? Why can't we just have sex
and take it from there?" She asked.
"Why?! Because I have too many feelings for you for it ever to be just
sex. Besides, I have never been one to go for just sex. I can't separate my
heart like that," Daniel explained. "I can be your friend. I can even
be the shoulder you cry on. But I can't just be the guy you sleep with to
scratch an inch or because you're bored."
Vala was stunned. Daniel hadn't said the words but he had implied he loved her.
She had hoped he did but was never sure. After a man in love didn't turn down
the woman when she offered him sex. But apparently Daniel Jackson did when he
thought the offer came for the wrong reasons. She might just have to reconsider
every time he had turned her down and reevaluate what it had meant. But that
was something she'd do later.
Daniel stopped and looked at her again. He could see that his words had had an
impact on her. She looked as if the thought had never occurred to her that he
might have stronger feelings than she suspected.
"So do you want to go back to the base or stay here tonight?" Daniel
asked as he looked at the clock and saw that it was almost eleven o'clock at
night. "Keep in mind, if you stay there will be no sex of any kind. Just
to be clear."
"Oh I get that. I think I'd like to stay here," Vala answered, just
not ready to face the base and all of the memories of recent weeks there.
"But if I stay here do I have to sleep by myself?"
"As long as it is just sleeping and you keep your hands to yourself, you
can sleep with me," Daniel looked her in the eye. "Do you
promise?"
"I promise," Vala agreed without looking away.
Minutes later, Vala was in Daniel's bath room showering and Daniel was putting
on a clean tee shirt and flannel pajama pants. When Vala emerged from a cloud
of steam, she was similarly dressed having barrowed clothes from Daniel. The
shirt was huge on her and fortunately the pants had a drawstring or they would
have been falling down. Vala crawled under the covers. Daniel lay on top of
them pulling up a spare quilt to cover himself. When he had settled, he
stretched out an arm and she curled up to his side, pillowing her head on his
chest. In minutes Vala was lulled to sleep by the sound of his steadily beating
heart.
For his part, Daniel didn't fall asleep so easily. He had Vala in his bed. This
time she was invited. It was a thing he had never thought would happen, but it
had. After Sha're he had never thought to feel love and lust again but now he
had. He could only hope that some how this could work out in his favor and
soon. But for now he was content to just listen to her sleep.
** The End **
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