Now Comes the Night by hariboo

Now Comes the Night

By: hariboo_smirks

CATEGORY: Drama, Romance

SEASON/SPOILERS: Season 10 “Unending”

WARNINGS: None

AUTHOR’S NOTES: And finally I get around to writing a tag for The Scene. It’s been pretty much done in every way possible, and it was just time for me to add my own little piece. Title inspired by scifi_tv_addict for S/D/V/T. Beta’d by aeryn_b, any left over mistakes are all moi.

AUTHOR’S WEBSITE:

http://hariboo-smirks.livejournal.com/

The stars shine in the distance, twinkling pushpins in the fabric of space. They will be the only witnesses to this night. This night before everything.

* *

They are in his room. He is speaking; his words float around her like pink petals in a soft wind. They are words of finality, of hope, of circumstance, of surrender, of understanding, of the past, of the future, of the now.

I guess in the end, life is too short.

Life is too short. The words strike a chord in her. Pebbles in a pond and the ripples extend around her; farther than she can even see. She feels her body react.

I agree.

She moves forwards. She sheds her sweater. She loosens her armor.

What are you doing?

What is she doing?

She’s not too sure; all she knows is that she wants this. Him. Them.

Something we should have done a long time ago.

It is truth and lie. They could have done it a long time ago. But they shouldn’t have. The why’s and why’s not’s blur in her mind. She thinks to kiss him, but doesn’t. Too much. Too soon. Too telling, her lips don’t lie as well as they did before, especially not with him. Her hands move to his pants. This she knows.

Don’t do that.

He grabs her hands and she sees his eyes go hard. He pushes her away. Suddenly she is nervous.

We’ve been here for three months, Daniel, three months…

His eyes are growing harder, colder. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go, she thinks. He was supposed to have let her in. Shock and hurt take over.

You do like girls?

She is confused. She expresses the only slightly ridiculous reason for his rejection of her.

YES!

Of course he does. Stupid question. She’s not blind, she’s seen the way he’s looked her sometimes…

Oh, well… I don’t see many other options here, do you?

Okay, there’s Sam, but she’s invested in someone else. They both know that. So then why doesn’t he…

Unless, you really don't find me attractive…

It begins to hurt. Why? This wasn’t supposed to hurt. His eyes solidify into a blue that chills her. His eyes have never been so cold towards her before. Not like this.

Do you really want an honest answer?

She’s never heard this tone his voice before. Not towards her. She suddenly has the urge to leave the room. She’s never been scared of him, not even when he was a Prior, but she fears what will come out of his lips next like nothing before.

No…

She turns to leave. She needs to get out.

No, you started this. Do you want an honest answer?

She needs to leave. Honest. How does a word that’s supposed to be good feel so bad? She hates honesty right now; she remembers why she used to lie so much. She had been safe in lies, honesty burns her. Cleansing flames. Fire to the witch, the unbeliever. She hates fire. But right now she hates ice too. She doesn’t feel safe anymore.

No, don’t worry about it.

She needs to get out. She needs to stop shaking. How could this have gone so wrong, so fast? He ignores her and continues.

Do you believe I could have any kind of serious feelings for you?

This stops her. The words hurt more than she expects. Serious? Her entire being thinks yes, but she ignores it. She needs to leave this room in one piece and “yes” will break her.

I wasn’t suggesting you have serious feelings.

She tries to let him know she doesn’t expect declarations of love. She doesn’t expect him to love her. He’s been hurt before, she knows, but she hates being alone. He was the one that reminded her that she hates being alone, and while he may never love her, she thinks she might possibly love him. She knows he’s not ready for love... she’s not sure she is either. But she might be. Maybe. With him.

Oh, oh! So, what? We sleep together once and then what? We work together!

His words are cold and hard. Her words do not appease him. But instead are twisted in the whirlwind of this night. She doesn't understand the trouble in her last statement, but then she does. They could lose each other, their work is dangerous. She’s sure he’s not using the same reasoning she is.

And you know, even saying that part out loud sounds unbelievable.

He begins to walk away; she takes the moment to turn towards the bed and tries pulling her sweater on, but she can’t fully make it. His words have frozen her. She has to sit; her legs don’t seem to want to hold her up anymore. She tries to pull her armor back on too, but he’s already broken past it. He’s shattered it, because even after everything he still doesn't trust her.

Come on! I can’t even imagine what a relationship with you would be like.

His words have become invisible bullets that strike her heart over and over again. She wants to leave, but she is frozen.

Yes, you proven yourself to be trustworthy on a professional level. And for that I’m very proud of you, but on a personal level? Vala! Come on, give me a break!

Feeling the tears escape her eyes, she thinks she should turn to him. But she can’t. She needs to leave, but can’t. She should punch him, fight back, yell, but can’t. How can she cry when she feels so numb?

At best you’re an emotional unstable wreck. And I’m not saying I’m much better. I’m not saying I’m much better!

And there’s the rub. She’s a wreck, she knows she is, but she thought he wouldn’t care. After all she doesn’t care that he is one too. They are so different, but so alike. She had thought he had seen it first. That he had seen her.

There was a time that I thought I would never get over my wife. I mean the idea… of being hurt that way again…

He is behind her, speaking to her back, and his footsteps moved deeper into the room. He moves farther from her in every ways she can think of. He has let out his fear, and she understands it. She hates that she understands it, because in some ways it is the same as hers. To be hurt like they have been, she wouldn’t wish that on anyone, least of all him. She hates that she understands him, she hates that she can’t hate him.

And I’ve finally gotten to a place, finally gotten to a place, where for the first time in a long time I thought I could be close to somebody again. But not in a million years—a million years, would I ever possibly consider that person to be you.

The tears she’s been holding back escape her again; they are silent, like her and her hurt. How is her heart still beating given how broken it feels? She never wanted this. She wanted him. To be with him, but he would never…

Never…

More tears escape. She wants to leave. Gods, why can't she leave?

He’s sucking her dry, and he doesn't even know it.

It wasn’t supposed to hurt this much. It wasn’t supposed to hurt at all.

I mean, we are so completely wrong for each other that its not even funny. And theworst partis you know that! And this whole flirty, sexual thing you do, that’s your way of having a laugh at my expense.

She tries to steel herself to his words. She can’t believe he’s saying that. That he believes that. Out of everybody in her messed up life, she thought he knew her. That he saw her. Past everything. Maybe she had been wrong. Maybe they were wrong. Maybe he was right. And she was a fool.

So I’m sorry that I’m not more appreciative. I’m sorry that you’re bored! But don't you pretend it’s anything else.

He spits out the last word. It is the last bullet and she is glad. She always knew he had a way with words, that he had the power to create and destroy with language. She just never thought he would destroy her. She nods and carefully wipes her tears away. She needs to leave before he looks at her again.

In her room she’ll cry again, and hate him for tonight. She’ll be mad at him. They’ll be awkward, but eventually they’ll go back to being Daniel and Vala. Friends. And she won’t let her heart be hurt anymore, but first, she needs to leave.

Don’t act like you’re hurt.

Pulling her sweater on, she tries to laugh it off, it’s what he wants, what he’s expecting, but the laugh comes out too hollow, too wet. She feels hollow too. She pulls her sweater on, but still feels cold. He’s moving back towards her. She shifts and closes her eyes. She can’t look at him. Everything would just break and spill over again.

As he sits on the bed, she turns away from him. His hand brushes against her back, and the small touch breaks her. Why is his touch still so powerful? And why doesn’t she hate it?

Give me a minute.

Her voice is full of tears and her legs still won’t hold her up, storming out of the room is sadly out of the question— she’s stuck in the one place she wanted to be, and can’t be anymore.

Look at me.

He asks softly, but she can’t. She can feel his hand move the hair that is hiding her face from him. Pushing back the curtain to see what is hidden behind. The touch is gentle, coaxing; she can feel her Daniel in it. The one that sees her, the one that knows her, and it is only for that reason why she turns. She’s scared, but not like before, because now he’ll see. She can feel it in his touch that he want to see, that he’s willing to see what she’s not sure she wants to give anymore. But she needs to look at him one last time before everything changes. They are at the crossroads and a path will be chosen. And she is not sure which is which.

She’ll let him see. This will be her swan song in one way or another.

She wipes her face and for the first time since he split her open she meets his eyes, but she can't hold his gaze. The hurt is still too raw and the salt from her tears sting it. She wants to cry again, and she can sense when his body grows still. It wasn’t a game, and now he knows. The proof is on her face. When she turns away he cups her cheek and turns her back towards him. He’s done it before and so has she – the touch that brings them back to each other like the stars guide travelers in the black of space. The hand on her face is warm, and she can feel her body take in its heat. His thumb strokes her cheek and she’s still scared, but she’s melting. The cracks are bonding back together with the heat he gives.

His eyes and face are open to her, and she is shocked when he kisses her. His lips are warm, gentle and full. She can feel him. Everything that was harsh and sharp is now soft and curved. Gently, he pulls away. He looks at her and gives her the softest smile she’s ever seen grace his face. It says everything that words can’t explain.

You better not be messing with me.

It is not an apology, but it is. His tone now is the antithesis of the one before. Quiet and gentle and fragile, butterfly wings caressing her cheek. It’s everything she needs to hear, because his eyes, his lips, his hands tell her everything else. He’s asking her to accept him, and she does, she can’t not accept him. Their lips press together again. She accepts him entirely. His flaws, his fears, his hopes, his words, his touch. Like he does hers. In him she sees everything. Everything she is, everything he is, everything she hopes to be, everything he hopes to be, everything she was, everything he was. If the universe can be held in a single subatomic particle, then they held infinite universes full of them in this moment.

Deepening the kiss, she wraps an arm around his neck. Not willing to lose what she has just gained. His arm pulls her in closer and they fall to the bed. With his lips and body he aims to mend what is fractured. Words can wait. There have already been too many tonight.

* *

In the distance stars die out, but their light will shine for years to come. They will be the only witnesses to this night, and they will keep it with them. And even a second later when fire bursts out and overtakes the ship, their light will still shine.

They will remember. This was the night before everything.

** The End **

Feedback to: isaqueen8@googlemail.com

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