On the Road Again
By: valaMD (scifi_tv_addict)
CATEGORY: Humor
WARNINGS: None
AUTHOR’S WEBSITE:
http://scifi-tv-addict.livejournal.com/
For just about the hundredth time in the past two hours,
Daniel checked the clock on the front dashboard with agitation. Next to him,
Vala sat looking at the directions Daniel had written out before they’d left
“Honestly, it’ll be fine, Daniel. You don’t really think they expect either one of us to be on time, do you? Three years on, I’d like to think they know that much about us.”
“Well, if someone had packed up last night instead of this morning we wouldn’t have left two hours late,” Daniel said with irritation.
Vala rolled her eyes in response. She knew he’d bring that up at some point, sometimes he could be so predictable. “Don’t try that with me, Daniel. I wasn’t the only one not heading out the door at the ‘scheduled’ time, or are you going to try and blame that on me as well?” she said, looking over at him with smugly raised eyebrow.
“Hey,” Daniel said defensively, “I was all packed!”
“Yes, I know. You’ve been packed since last week. Of course, that did you little good when you spent most of the day leafing through your dusty old books for information on a culture that probably died out thousands of years ago.”
“Actually, it was the remains of a rare subculture of male sculptures in a matrilineal society that SG-12 discovered a couple of weeks ago on PX-1297. If I figure out the engravings on the base, I could discover the origins of --”
Vala rolled her eyes. “Yes, yes, yes. Blah, blah, blah,” Vala muttered, effectively cutting him off. She was doing the “yak-yak” motion with her hand which Daniel had come to learn meant that continuing the conversation would be pointless.
They had been driving for nearly two hours already and still
had another four before they’d reach the cabin the team had procured for the
week. After several stressful missions, Landry had taken SG-1 off of active
duty and ordered them all to take a break. Daniel couldn’t recall how or even
why, but it was suggested that the team spend the week in a cabin in some
remote part of
Daniel had planned on leaving early in order to avoid driving in the dark but their tardiness in leaving had forced them to travel in the early evening. Having slept poorly the night before, Daniel yawned as the fatigue finally started to catch up on him.
“Daniel, why don’t you let me drive?”
“Yeah, that’s gonna happen,” he scoffed.
“You can barely keep your eyes open. I know that you‘ve died like ten times by now so it‘s become old hat to you, but I’d rather not die a fiery, horrible death because you were too tired and stubborn to relinquish control of the wheel. One horrible, fiery death was enough for me, thank you.”
Daniel winced at the memory. “I’m not questioning your logic,” he responded calmly, “I’m questioning your sense of direction.”
“Hey! I happen to have excellent navigational skills. Besides,” she picked up the piece of paper that was lying by her feet and waved it at him, “I‘ve got your instructions right here. What’s the worst that could happen?”
Daniel just looked over at her. “Why does that sound so familiar?” his voice dripping with sarcasm as he spoke.
“That situation notwithstanding…” she trailed off as Daniel yawned.
“You see? Come on, Daniel! It’s not like I’ve never driven a car before. Cameron has been teaching me…and honestly, aren’t you always saying practice makes perfect?”
“No.”
“Oh…well who said it isn’t important. The point is, I can drive and I need more experience if I’m ever going to get really good at it. Well, actually, I think I‘m already pretty amazing,” she said as she raised her chin smugly. “Cameron says I‘m a natural…well, in between his screams of ‘Vala, slow down’ of course.”
While he was extremely hesitant to hand over the wheel, Vala had a point. He could use a nap and it couldn’t hurt to let Vala drive for an hour or two so he could have one. Besides, how much damage could she do? He took a moment to think about that, then decided it was best if he didn’t.
“Alright,” he finally said, hiding a small smile as a giant grin spread across her face. He pulled off to the side of the road and unbuckled his seatbelt. Before he could open his door Vala had already jumped out of hers and was practically bouncing as she raced over to his side of the car.
After finally settling in with belts buckled, Daniel turned towards Vala. “You remember how to use the blinker, right? It’s right here…” Daniel leaned over towards the steering wheel but Vala quickly slapped his hand away.
“Yes, Daniel, I know where it is. I have driven a car before!”
“I know,” he said, “I just wanted to make sure.”
Smiling at him sweetly, Vala moved her hand and turned on the blinker that would signal their re-emergence onto the road. Once she’d made it back on she turned towards him and raised her eyebrows.
“Okay, okay,” he said and leaned back a little. With Vala driving he didn’t think he’d ever be able to fully relax, but he soon overcame his unease and after about a half an hour on the road he was fast asleep.
Although focusing intently on the road ahead of her and the instructions beside her, every once in awhile Vala would sneak a look over at her dreaming companion and note how cute he looked while he slept. Not wishing to wake him, she kept the radio off and drove in silence for the next two hours.
A little while later, Daniel woke up with a sniffle.
“Oh good, you’re awake. We should be there soon…and on time I might add,” Vala said proudly.
Daniel looked over at her groggily. “But we couldn’t have…” He paused, his mind taking a moment to process his own thoughts. “How fast have you been going?”
Vala kept her eyes firmly fixed on the road. “Not very. I mean, maybe I went a few miles over the limit…and then some areas didn’t have speed limits posted so I just assumed that it was a kind of pick-your-own-speed thing.”
Daniel’s gaze lingered on her for a moment, out of the corner of her eye she could see him pinching the bridge of his nose. He put his glasses back on and tried not to think about how close to death she might have brought him while he slept.
Turning his attention back towards the road he picked up the sheet of directions sitting next to Vala. “Okay, so how close are we?”
“The last sign I passed said Summer Springs.”
Having no idea where that was but satisfied with the answer he sat back in his chair and closed his eyes. A moment later they shot back open. “Wait, where?”
“Summer Springs…or Spring Summers…or some other odd amalgamation of your seasons on this planet,” she said as she waved her hand around.
“I don’t remember seeing that on the map,” Daniel said with concern.
“Well…maybe it’s so insignificant that the map people deemed it unworthy of our notice.”
Daniel reached above him and turned on the car light. He looked around for the map he’d brought with him. Flipping through the pages with the listed cities, he finally found the one he was looking for. He quickly scanned the map, his stomach lurched as he came to a horrible realization.
Vala couldn’t help but notice the distressed expression on Daniel’s face as he stared intently at the pages within the book. She leaned over in an attempt to see what he was looking at, the car swerving slightly as she did so. “What? What is it?”
Daniel shut his eyes and dropped his head. “We’re going the wrong way.”
“What?” Vala said in surprise. “Let me look at that.” She reached over and tried to grab the book from him, only to have him snatch it away.
“Watch the road!” he yelled.
“I am! I can do two things at once.”
“Clearly not since you just drove us at least 100 miles off course,” he said with irritation.
“That’s not possible. I followed your instructions to the letter…or at least what I could make of them. I didn‘t even take that detour to the outlet malls!”
Putting the map book down, Daniel picked up the directions he had written out before they’d left.
Now desperately trying to defend her driving, Vala repeated all of the correct directions she had taken in order to prove that the error was not on her end, “…and then I took a left on Route 88.”
That’s when Daniel looked up at her, “It says take a right on Route 88, not a left.”
“What? No it doesn’t. Let me look at that,” she said as she tried once again to reach over him, swerving into the other lane as she did so.
“Watch the road,” he said again. “You know what, just pull over.”
Annoyed, Vala not-so-smoothly pulled the car onto the side of the road, causing Daniel’s head to jerk into the door. His angry look went unnoticed as she leaned over to take the directions from him.
“Okay, now let me see,” she said as she leaned in closer.
“See? RIGHT, ” Daniel said as he pointed at a line of writing on the piece of paper.
“That does not say right, Daniel!” Vala exclaimed.
“Of course it does, see…there’s the ‘r’,” he said as he pointed to a non-descript squiggle.
“Daniel, if that’s your ‘r’ then I think that you need some serious lessons in penmanship. All I see here is a scribble.”
Daniel let out a deep sigh. “Let’s just find a gas station and ask for directions back.”
Sullenly, Vala did a u-turn back onto the road. Within a few minutes they were pulled over at a gas station and inside asking for directions.
They were both peering over a map on the counter as the attendee showed them the best route to get where they needed to go.
“Okay, so you’re going to want to take a right out of here…” he said, pointing with his hand.
“A right. Okay. Got that Vala?”
She smiled sweetly. “Yes, Daniel. Did you make sure to write down R-I-G-H-T?”
“Maybe you’d care to check and make sure it’s up to your standards,” he replied in a matching tone.
The attendee just watched them silently, an amused spectator to their exchange. He continued on with the instructions, even as they continued to bicker. When he was done Daniel thanked him and began packing up his gear.
“I’m going to get one of those Big Gulps they’re advertising,” Vala said to no one in particular.
“Why?”
“To drink.” When Daniel continued to stare at her blankly, she continued, “I’m thirsty, Daniel, and it’s clear that we have a long way to go before we reach the cabin. Probably even longer considering the way you drive.”
“Great, so now we’ll have to stop every twenty minutes so you can pee.”
Vala just stuck out her tongue and walked over to the soda fountain. Daniel watched as she proceeded to fill a cup with more liquid than one human being could ever possibly drink. He eventually turned his attentions away from Vala when he heard the clerk wise-crack from behind him, “I guess the honeymoon’s over.”
Daniel looked over at the man in surprise. “I’m sorry?”
“You two – you sound like a married couple,” the man said with a smirk.
Daniel was about to reply when Vala made her way back to the cashier’s counter.
“All done,” she said, a straw sticking out of her mouth.
Daniel gave the attendee a polite smile as he handed over the money before heading out the door after Vala.
As they walked back to the car Daniel reached into his pocket for the keys. “You’ll never guess what that clerk just said to me.”
“What?” Vala responded as she opened the passenger side door.
“He thought we were newlyweds,” he said as he climbed in behind the wheel.
“Huh,” Vala mumbled as she chewed on her straw, a small smile forming on her lips.
Daniel slowly backed out of the space and headed for the highway entrance the clerk had directed them towards. With no more hiccups, they eventually made their way safely to the cabin…five hours late.
Having already been apprised of their little detour the rest of the team hadn’t waited up for them. Taking their suitcases out of the trunk of the car they each made their way to the cabin. Neither spent time unpacking, opting instead to simply change their clothing and collapse onto the bed.
Vala turned onto her side and pulled the heavy quilt up to her stomach. She felt an arm snake around her waist and Daniel’s warm breath against her neck as he leaned into her.
She was starting to drift off to sleep when Daniel quietly asked from behind her, “How do you think he knew we were newlyweds?”
Vala smiled. “I think marriage has really softened us.”
“Mmmhmm,” Daniel mumbled in agreement, and together they drifted off to sleep.
** The End
**
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