Risking It All
By: Pip
CATEGORY: Angst
WARNINGS: None
AUTHOR’S NOTES: Companion piece to “Chatting”.
AUTHOR’S WEBSITE:
http://brabbit-hole.livejournal.com/
Vala rose from her bed as the hesitant, expected knock came at the door. She pulled on the silky, geisha-type robe lying on the floor, letting it hang open over her cami and boy shorts as she walked to the door.
Pulling it open as the knock came again, she found herself face to face with a slightly shamefaced archaeologist. Vala eyed him wearily.
"I'm sorry?" Daniel gave her a shaky smile as he held up the bag in his hand and shook it a little.
Vala glared at him for another moment, then snatched the bag out of his hand. She stepped aside to allow him access to her room. As he stepped in, she closed the door and stuck her nose into the bag. It smelled just like the cookies he'd promised.
Daniel didn't notice her cookie-smelling act. He was too busy taking in her room, which he hadn't been in since she'd first moved into it. Vala always seemed to end up in his room somehow, whether he wanted her there or not.
"Your room looks nice..." He said appreciatively. Blue eyes roamed over the pieces of art and decor she'd chosen to liven up the usually drab room. It'd never struck him how uniquely creative and classy Vala's taste was. "Really nice." Daniel turned around to look at her.
She already had a cookie shoved in her mouth. "Thank you." Vala mumbled around it. She tilted her head, giving him a barely patient stare. "So you wanted to talk?" Obviously the cookies hadn't been enough to placate her.
Shifting awkwardly, Daniel gave a tentative nod. "Uh, yeah..." He looked over towards the bed. "Maybe we could sit down?"
Vala snorted, gliding past him. "Who's the one with the ideas now?" She flopped onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling as she munched on another cookie. When Daniel made no move to join her, Vala glanced at him. He seemed unsure, whether it was of himself or her, she didn't know.
She bit the bullet, anyway. "Don't worry, Daniel. I'm far from being in any mood that would make me want to have sex with you."
Daniel winced as if she'd hit him. "I messed up that bad, huh?" He made his way over to the bed, and sat down on the edge by Vala's stomach. It was hard for him not to stare at her fit, tight muscles, exposed by her barely there nightwear.
"If you hadn't have brought cookies..." Vala held the bag up for emphasis. "I wouldn't have let you in."
He closed his eyes guiltily. "I'm sorry I hurt you." Daniel decided to just jump right into it. He opened his eyes to find her watching him like he was her prey. "And I don't just mean today, but every other day that I've done it without realizing it."
Vala shrugged, biting into yet another cookie. "It's okay, Daniel." Her voice was calm, but he could see the underlying hurt in her troubled grey eyes that now wouldn't meet his. "I've learned to accept it as part of..." She waved her free hand absently. "Whatever we have."
"We have a friendship." Daniel clarified with more confidence than he thought he had. "A really good friendship, I thought." He added less confidently. "But it's not okay for one friend to hurt another, and again I'm sorry for that."
She looked at him, smiling. He could see it was false, even in all its confidence. "Really, darling. It's okay."
Daniel shook his head, placing his arm on the other side of her. He gave her a desperate look. "It's not, Vala. You're my friend...one of my really, really good friends." Blues eyes broke away from grey as he gave a nervous laugh. "Best friends, even. And I shouldn't be treating you like I do - like I've always done."
"Daniel..." Vala propped herself up on her elbows. "When it really matters, you are the only person who ever puts any honest faith in me as a person." Her voice was quiet, uncertain. She wasn't open with many people like this. "You see past all the unpleasant things about me when something important's at stake. You've trusted me, and not many people do that."
Vala tried to recover her indifferent demeanor with a shrug. "So what if you get annoyed with me any other time? It's better then trusting me none of the time."
"But I should trust you all the time." Daniel admitted, both to her and himself. "You've proven yourself so many more times then you needed to, and still I can't find myself able to talk to you like I know I should." He inhaled deeply. "I want to prove myself to you as your best friend."
She gazed at him thoughtfully. "That means you'll have to trust me-"
Daniel finished off her sentance. "With everything, I know. I'm willing to take that risk rather than risk losing you, Vala." He looked down at her, letting out another shaky laugh. "Because I honestly don't think I could take life without you in it."
"You almost sound like you care." Vala laughed, trying to stem the tears fighting to break free. She nearly stopped breathing as he caressed her cheek with the back of his finger.
Realization blazed in his deep blue eyes. "I do care about you, Vala." Daniel thought back to the incident with Jack and Sam, and the Tok'ra Za'tarc detector. There were few who knew about what Jack had said to prove he wasn't lying. Daniel had only found out because Jack had told him personally - he'd trusted him enough with that information. Now he understood what his older friend had been put through back then.
"A lot more than I should." He whispered to Vala the same feelings Jack had admitted to Sam.
Vala stared back at him in mild shock. Had Daniel Jackson just admitted he actually had feelings for her? Surely, she must be dreaming. Her grey eyes gazed into his bright blue, and Vala could see he was unsure where to go next. He was jumping head first into this, with no idea of where it was going to lead. This was Daniel's risk - this was him loving her.
"Isn't this the part where you kiss me?" She smiled, offering him the next step.
Smiling a little, Daniel leaned down and took her soft lips with his. She tasted just like he remembered - sweet and spicy and tangy all at once, with the added flavor of chocolate walnut cookies. Vala was a mishmash of it all, and he was caught up in every bit of that everything.
Though her taste was the same, the kiss wasn't. Where that first one had been violent, passionate, an 'in the heat of the moment' thievery, this one was shy, affectionate, and was a gift willingly given and hesitantly received.
"Please tell me this is real." Vala whispered desperately against his lips, her eyes closed for fear of breaking the spell.
Daniel smiled, feeling his heart swell at her plea. It was all he needed to hear to know he hadn't just made the biggest mistake in his life. That he hadn't just thrown away his already too frail heart on some one time fling with a former space pirate.
He gave her a small, reassuring kiss. "This is real...It's too damn terrifying for it to be anything else." Carefully, he climbed over her slender body, coming to sit down beside her on the bed. He propped himself back against the headboard, and Vala quickly sat up and leaned against him, her head resting on his shoulder. Daniel wrapped his arm around her, pulling her in close.
"Where does this leave us, Daniel?" Vala asked quietly, pulling a cookie from the forgotten bag. She broke it in half, holding one of the pieces out to him. "I mean, are we...?"
Daniel accepted the piece from her hand and took a small bite. "I honestly don't know." He admitted. "I wanna say yes, but it seems too soon for that. And yet 'no' makes it sound like everything that just happened wasn't important."
Nodding, Vala gazed up at him. "You wanna take things slow, don't you?"
"If by slow, you mean not having sex tonight, then yes." He said firmly, but not angrily.
She pouted good-naturedly. "After all the time it took you to finally come to my bed..."
Daniel gave her a look. "Vala."
"I'm only playing, darling." Vala kissed his cheek, then settled back down against him. "Besides, just because you brought cookies and finally admitted that you love me." She grinned at the playful squeeze he gave her. "Doesn't mean I suddenly want to have sex with you. I just want to know about us, you and me, and this new..." She snuggled against him. "Thing between us."
"I don't think this 'thing' is very new." Daniel murmured, placing a small kiss in her hair. "Just suddenly realized." He settled back more comfortably, resting his head back and closing his eyes. "We could call it dating, but dating is when people want to get to know each other better."
Vala smiled. "I think we're past that."
He laughed. "Yeah, just a little." Daniel eased Vala off of him. He leaned forward a little and began untying his boots. "We could just continue learning about one another, and see where that leads us."
"But," Vala immediately moved to help him, taking the boot from his hand and dropping it on the floor. "What if we don't like what we find out?" Her voice had gone quiet, hesitant. She took his other boot, and dropped it down.
Daniel turned so he was facing her, pulling his legs underneath him, indian style. He gazed at her for a quiet moment. She watched him, almost nervously. Her hands played with the oversized sleeves of her robe.
He reached out and took one in his own. "I'm sure there's a lot of things about both of us that will be hard to accept - I can guarantee there's things about me you might not find too appealing, and I'll have to live with that." Daniel nodded at her as he spoke his next words. "But I promise nothing about your past, or future, will ever stop me from caring about you."
"You say that now..." Vala dropped her eyes, unable to hold his trusting look. "But wait until you hear some of that past before you go promising me anything."
Squeezing her hand, Daniel drew her attention up to his. "Then tell me some of that past so I can promise you."
Vala eyes hardened. "And what about you? Why am I under the spotlight here?"
"Vala..." Daniel shook his head, but smiled. "There's no spotlight. I just wanna talk. I wanna tell you things, and hear things from you. I came in here so we could talk, remember? We don't have to start on anything too personal..." He stroked his thumb over her hand. "I don't even know what your favorite color is."
Heaving a small sigh of relief, her cheeks flushing slightly in embarrassment, Vala smiled. "Any color is my favorite...If I can turn it into something original and...mine, then it's my favorite color."
Daniel grinned. "Well, you've certainly turned this room into your own." He looked around again. "It never hit me how creative you really are until tonight when I walked in here." His blue eyes came to land on her silk robe. "You have beautiful taste."
Blushing once more, Vala let out a tiny laugh. "Thank you." She looked in his beautiful eyes, overwhelmed by how they had gone from watching her with annoyance to watching her with appreciation.
Vala hadn't intended on letting Daniel in farther then her room, but somehow he's managed to squeeze by her defenses - and she couldn't find any reason why she hadn't allowed him access in the first place.
** The End **
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