Personal Sacrifice Part 6

By: Stacy L.

SORROW AND DESPAIR

BURSIRIS - OSIRIS' PLANET

Is There A Valley Between Sorrow and Despair?

Daniel entered the bedchamber and paused feeling suddenly afraid. He could feel the hairs on the back of his neck prickling a warning to him that there was danger. He turned screaming as he was suddenly grabbed from behind. He felt one arm wrap around his chest pinning his arms to his sides while the other hand clamped forcefully across his mouth both equally painful on his body. He instantly panicked and fought against the holds quickly becoming aware that the one holding him so securely was much stronger than he. He gasped as he was dragged to the bed then shoved roughly onto it. He jerked around striking out at his assailant aiming low. His assailant only grunted in response and as he jerked his head up to look into the face of the one who was attacking he stared in shock as he said, "My Lord what are you...?"

Osiris reacted instantly shoving him onto the bed, pinning him and kissing him. Daniel jerked his head away and proceeded to shove Osiris off, not sure of just what was happening. Osiris smiled at him before reaching down to clamp a possessive hand over Daniel's groin. Daniel stiffened immediately and moaned as the hand gently squeezed him. Osiris continued to smirk as he again pressed Daniel onto the bed and captured his luscious lips within his own. Again Daniel pushed the phoenix lord away. Osiris immediately raised his leg to straddle him. Daniel shifted away from the Goa'uld lord and Osiris chuckled as his servant moved to the middle of the bed. As he again attempted to straddle his slave Daniel reacted by trying to push him away once more.

Osiris seized Daniel's wrists and forced them down onto the mattress pinning them on either side of Daniel's head and successfully trapping Daniel in place. Daniel instantly struggled harder fighting against the restrictive hold and feeling his panic begin. Just as quickly as Osiris pinned his wrists he released them choosing to lift himself onto Daniel's now engorged cock. He groaned as he slid slowly down over Daniel's hard dick feeling his desire increase as he finally settled taking Daniel deeply within.

Daniel attempted to shove him off screaming in a mix of pleasure and anger as Osiris started to ride him fast and hard. He tried to resist but quickly fell into the intensity of lovemaking. His lips ceased uttering growls of frustration as utters of pleasure slipped through. Daniel tried to resist the powerful sensations now surging throughout his body finding that to ignore those feelings was a waste of time. He moaned as Osiris raked his nails across his chest before kissing him forcefully on the lips taunting and teasing them to part and drawing more delicious moans from his servant as he did so. Daniel started moaning and meeting the Goa'uld lord thrust for powerful thrust wrapping his arms desperately around Osiris and clutching him firmly against his body. He slid his hands down to those pert round cheeks and clutched her to him holding her tight against him as he met each thrust. Then as he reached climax he screamed digging his fingers deeper into her flesh before collapsing back against the pillows in a sweating heavily breathing heap. He desperately clutched Osiris to him as the Goa'uld lord reached his climax then draped Sarah's sensuous body over his own sending every nerve ending tingling.

He held Osiris close listening to the sound of his breath mingling with that of his lord's. They were both breathing heavily. He closed his eyes tensing when Osiris leaned up to press a kiss to his lips much lighter than what he was just exposed to. As Osiris pulled away he carefully licked his lips aware that they were now swollen as a result of the forceful kiss Osiris presented him with upon entering their bedchamber. He had been scared when he was grabbed from behind and shocked when he realized that it was his lord who was attacking him, obviously Osiris had a desire to be aggressive with him again this evening. He mentally assessed himself determining that though he was thrown on the bed and held down he would have minimum bruising. He was grateful for that because usually when Osiris was in an aggressive mood he was, also, overly playful and searching for a struggle. If that had been the case then he would now be sporting more than just faint scratch marks that were probably even now fading. Every time Osiris was in the mood for a struggle he would usually leave a nice array of marks all across his body.

He shifted slightly as the Goa'uld lord made himself once again overly comfortable in his servant's arms. He knew that to refuse to hold Osiris now after just having sex with him would make his lord extremely angry so he settled for holding Osiris and trying to get some sleep trying not to think about the events that transpired mere moments before.

As Daniel awoke the next morning he sat very still relieved that he was completely alone again. He forced himself to sit up quickly becoming wrapped up in the wall across from him. He stared at the wall noticing its color and the markings that covered its surface. He stared at the wall for the longest time not moving and unable to feel anything at the moment. As he closed his eyes he gasped as an image of Jack danced before him. Jack the man he loved with all his heart, the man he needed just to breathe, the man he clung to for safety...the man he betrayed so easily.

He shuddered hanging his head as his throat grew thick with the unshed tears he has been struggling valiantly to keep in check. Those tears were for his love, for the man so far away. They were for his self-hatred and anger...his pity. He pitied himself now for what ever made someone so willing to betray another? God he was absolutely pathetic. He wasn't strong enough to resist Osiris. He wasn't strong enough to fight against the Goa'uld lord's unquenchable desire and lust for him. He tried to resist, but it was growing more and more difficult each time they mated. If he failed to respond to Osiris, to please his lord then Sarah would force his compliance. Sarah knew how to arouse him and seduce him while Osiris had still not fully mastered that ability. Sarah would make him comply. She knew, she somehow knew when he wasn't giving himself over or surrendering to Osiris. She knew it and she always forced his compliance using her past knowledge against him to draw his desire and hunger to the surface, to make him eager to please and desperate to be pleased in return. She knew how to gain his cooperation and he hated her for it, hated her and despised her.

While performing he rarely allowed any feelings to enter. Instead he numbed himself submitting only to carnal pleasures and primal urges to get him through each session. He blocked out all emotions so effectively while he was submitting and even afterwards but it was the mornings and the evenings when he allowed himself to feel scorn and outrage, allowed himself to hate and become angry or depressed. It was times like now when he realized what he did when surrendering. He betrayed Jack willingly. God, he was such a damned slut, a wanton whore who offered his body repetitively and willingly complied with the whims of another. God, he was absolutely pathetic!

He felt moisture pricking at the corners of his eyes but pushed it back in anger and rage. He would not cry! He would never cry again. He hung his head even lower as he thought of how Jack would respond upon discovering his horrifying secret. Jack wouldn't want him once he learned that another had tainted his lover. Jack would get rid of him and refuse to ever look at him again. He would be nothing but a disgrace to Jack, a burden. Jack could never accept him after he lay so willingly with the enemy. He would never be able to touch him without revulsion running through him, never...

He tensed as that familiar gravely voice suddenly purred, "Daniel..." and he instantly dropped to his knees as he softly replied, "My Lord?"

Osiris smiled admiring his naked slave as he lowered to his knees before him. Hmm yes Daniel Jackson on his knees...this was a sight he would never tire of. Seeing him so willingly submitting him self even knowing that at any moment the man's fiery spirit might emerge. Ah yes, he was so beautiful, so exquisite... so perfect. He immediately replied, “Daniel, why have you not yet risen? Are you not feeling well, my beloved servant?"

"I am well, My Lord."

"Hmm perhaps I have tired you out. Could our last coupling have exhausted you my sweet pet?"

Daniel blushed with embarrassment before clearing his throat and saying, "No...no My Lord."

Osiris chuckled upon hearing the nervousness and embarrassment in his slave's voice. He continued, "Mmm you are a very virile young man, my sweet. You have magnificent...staying power as Sarah has said."

Daniel gasped before lowering his head further upon that comment. He felt suddenly very exposed and very vulnerable. Here he was naked kneeling before his lord and master in their bedchamber. He swallowed back his fear as he felt a sudden panic flare within. What if Osiris demanded he serve in the bed again? What if... He clenched his eyes shut as the discomfort from last night's little foray returned. He could feel the bruises and scratches on his body from Osiris' rough handling of him the previous evening. Ever since that first day Osiris caused him pain in the midst of pleasure he noticed the Goa'uld lord becoming more aggressive with him beginning to nip and claw him, or grapple him just a bit too tightly. He wasn't too crazy about the aggressive side of his lord but knew he had no say in the matter. He would have to soon learn to openly accept it and try to make himself draw pleasure from the aggression because if he didn't soon find a way then he would do something that he would regret, something that could potentially anger Osiris so much that he would target another planet for destruction. He wouldn't allow that to happen. He couldn't live with more people's deaths on his conscience than he had already.

Osiris spoke to him gently urging, "Rise Daniel and bathe. I will send for My'la."

"Yes My Lord."

Daniel slowly rose to his feet awaiting dismissal. As Osiris granted it he collected his robe and left the room walking faster than was absolutely necessary to the bathhouse feeling that sudden urge, that sudden need wash over him to scrub himself clean, scrub himself until he hurt, until he had Osiris' touch scourged off of his body, until he had Sarah's scent scoured off of his skin. He shook his head wondering if there would ever come a time when his forced copulation with his captor would ever feel...normal. Would there ever come a time when its touch and its scent wouldn't make him feel deeply ashamed and humiliated? Would he ever adjust to the demands of his lord? Would he ever adjust to having to surrender completely to Osiris in bed without feeling as if he were betraying Jack with every thrust, every scream, every pant and every plea? Would he ever be able to simply serve his lord without keeping his heart attached? Would he ever be able to shut off his emotions like a faucet and draw pure pleasure from his lord? Could he do that? Shut off his heart completely and separate it completely from his body? Tear it out and give it to Jack for safekeeping? Could he ever do that? He hoped so because if he couldn't do that then he would lose more than just his spirit in this place. He would lose his soul, his compassion...everything. He would lose everything.

Daniel entered the bathhouse preparing to bathe shuddering as his need to be clean overwhelmed him and as he entered the water he settled then lowered his head feeling his guilt again swamp him. He had surrendered to Osiris again. Just how many times was he going to allow the Goa'uld lord to touch him and to use him for his sexual pleasure? Just how many more times was he going to betray the love of his life? He lowered his head further staring at the bubbling water swirling around his body. As he stared at the water's surface he had a sudden urge to slip under the water...slip under and see how long he could hold his breath and when he could no longer do so then he could slip beyond this horrible existence he was now living. It would be so easy to give up right now, so damned easy. He was ready to quit. He was tired of serving his lord always...he knew that his life would never be any different. He would probably never escape the system lord who now held him. He was trapped here in this hellish existence. How much longer could he continue before he decided that life was no longer worth living? Was life even worth living now?

Daniel swallowed hard and closed his eyes tightly shut as he thought of Jack, his handsome lover. What was Jack doing now? Was he on another planet or at his home watching the sky from his roof? Did Jack still care if he was alive? How could he ever explain to Jack what he now was, what he had done...how could he tell his lover about all the times he betrayed him by sleeping with a creature he didn't love...a creature he despised and hated with all his being? He wrapped his arms tightly around his body and drew his knees up to his chest wanting to curl up and die. His life was sheer hell. There was no chance for him. He would be Osiris' slave and his little pet for the rest of his life. He whimpered quietly as he recalled how those hands fondled him and caressed him. How those fingers traced every line and every contour of his body. How his dick would harden, how it now hardened at the mere thought, of being pleased by his lord. He was already beginning to respond to the Goa'uld's touches for Osiris knew how to excite him. He had easy access to Sarah's memories. All he needed to do was to access those memories to discover the things Sarah use to do to him to encourage his responses, arouse him, excite him and make him come for her. He had no resistance, in fact, he often craved those touches, needed them...God begged for them.

He was so sickened by his promiscuous behavior. He wanted to fight, to resist and to refuse but he couldn't do any of those things because the price was just too high. He was barely dealing with the destruction of Alandria if another planet were to be destroyed due to his refusal he would probably crack and shatter into a thousand pieces. He was losing himself here. How could he hold on to who he had been if Osiris continued to humiliate and degrade him daily? He tried to make himself less appealing but the Goa'uld lord always became angrier. What would happen if he refused to bathe today? Would he become less appealing to his lord?

Daniel thought long and hard about doing just that. What would Osiris do to him if he refused to bathe? Would that be the way he could discourage the system lord's attentions? Was there anything he could do to discourage that creature to turn the creature off? Osiris required cleanliness of all of his servants. Cleanliness was very important to the snake that's why he was ordered to bathe every single day...sometimes ordered to bathe twice. He didn't mind it but he always ran the risk of being caught naked in the bath by Osiris. He always ran the risk of the snake joining him and...and touching him all over.

He had no desire to be here, he had no desire to do anything any more...hell he was falling quickly into a full-blown depression. He knew he was; could recognize the signs...he rarely wanted to rise out of bed anymore but did so to put distance between him and his oppressor. He would spend hours staring blankly not really focusing just...existing...his mind a blank slate. No thoughts or feelings would crowd in when he sat there and stared...it was as if he were numb and maybe he was numb. Maybe he learned how to numb himself to his existence...he kept himself locked in that existence between limbo and disassociation. It was almost like walking in a fog and being oblivious to the things going on around him. He hated this numbness, this bland effect that he now seemed to carry around as a shield. God, he was losing himself and disappearing...becoming a robot. He shivered as he thought about that. He had to struggle just to make it through another day. Suicide actually entered his mind several times a day instead of occasionally now. He wasn't one who readily gave up or just up and quit but he was so exhausted and tired...of everything. His life was a nightmare and he had no escape. He was trapped.

He sat in the water feeling the temperature as it cooled around him and still made no attempt to bathe himself. He just didn't have the energy or the desire to do so at the moment so he sat and stared at the bubbles still rippling around him noticing the way they would appear then burst only to be replaced with more. He lost track of time and felt every nerve stand on end when he heard the door open. Oh God that was probably... As he heard the voice of the one he hated and despised he clenched his eyes shut silently pleading with whoever was listening that the snake wouldn't touch him again. If he touched him he would scream. He would scream so loud and would be unable to stop. He felt disgust ripple through his body as Osiris asked him if he was finished bathing. He refused to answer choosing instead to stare at the wall before him. There was safety there in that wall...of course there was no longer any safety for him. He lost that a long time ago. All there was for him was this life sentence of misery and shame.

Osiris was becoming very impatient with his slave. He ordered Daniel to the bathhouse earlier expecting the man to bathe and return to him but after several long hours and no appearance by his servant Osiris headed for the bathhouse.

When he entered he was very dissatisfied with what he was seeing. His servant was sitting in the water staring at the opposite wall blankly. His hair wasn't even wet. Osiris approached questioning, "Have you finished cleansing yourself yet, my precious?"

Daniel didn't respond so Osiris made his voice sharper receiving a shake of the head from the man...no...no. What? He questioned, "Have you cleansed yourself at all?"

Again a shake of the head told him the answer was no. He continued, "Daniel, I do not like to order my servants to bathe. You must bathe or you will be aided. You will begin bathing now or I will have someone help you to bathe properly."

Daniel didn't even respond. Osiris continued, "The decision is yours to make. If you refuse then you will be bathed by another. I expect my servants to always be clean and appealing...always. This is your last chance...you will either begin to bathe yourself now or I shall have someone come to help you with that request."

He waited for Daniel to make a move for the washcloth or soap but he did nothing. He continued to remain sitting, staring at the wall an expression of defiance marring his features. He sighed heavily before saying, "Very well..." then exiting the room.

Osiris returned shortly with a guard and casually ordered, "You are to restrain my servant while I bathe him."

"Yes, My Lord...may I ask why?"

"Because he refuses to do so himself."

The guard quickly disrobed then entered the bath with Daniel. As soon as he placed his hands on Daniel the man fought and struggled. Daniel tried to claw and kick at the guard wanting the hands to release him. As the guard quickly gained the upper hand Daniel screamed and started cursing trying desperately to escape the bruising hands of Osiris' guard.

Osiris watched the interaction with interest and concern. Daniel was refusing to bathe so he had no other choice than to do so himself and knowing that Daniel would resist him he chose to request a guard. He was completely unprepared for Daniel's sudden show of aggression after the man sat so still and quiet mere moments before. He winced as Daniel clawed at the guard's face and arms leaving behind thin trails of blood where the nails had punctured the flesh. He continued to observe the two as the guard gained the upper hand managing to hold the still squirming man tightly in his arms.

As Daniel slumped against the guard Osiris chose that time to disrobe and enter. His servant was now trying to regain his breathing after such a fierce show of defiance. Osiris slipped into the water and approached Daniel then began bathing him from head to toe taking his time as he did so.

Osiris picked up the soap and washcloth gazing at his servant who now stood so still and so compliant. He started to soap Daniel's chest watching as the man closed his eyes and inhaled shakily. Osiris spoke in a calm tone as he said, "I did not wish to have to rely on a guard to get you to bathe for me, my precious. Why do you choose to become defiant and anger your lord? You could have saved yourself this pain and suffering if only you had listened to me and done as I bid you. I do not understand you at times love. You make things so difficult on yourself..."

Daniel remained silent swallowing hard. His every nerve was taut and he could feel the bruising hands holding him so firmly. He knew that he should be fighting against that hold but he just felt so tired. He couldn't drum up the strength he would need to break the hold. He also hated feeling the tender hands upon his body...those hands that were showing him unlimited patience and kindness, hands that could excite him with the lightest of strokes. He shuddered inside as he felt those hands continue to touch him, always, always touching him. Why did Osiris always have to touch him? Why? He wanted to scream and curse but he just didn't have the energy to do so. He needed to escape. He was so confused. He didn't even know how he should feel anymore. In fact he wasn't even all that certain that he could feel anymore.

Daniel tensed further as he felt those gentle hands rubbing over his body and bathing him with great care. The Goa'uld lord loved him, or so he had said, but he was certain that love was more of an obsession. The snake could be gentle and kind when he wanted to be but he could also be vindictive and unforgiving. He was being patient and kind now, but Daniel knew it would only be a matter of time before Osiris punished him for his non-compliance and that punishment would either consist of pain and suffering or degradation and humiliation. Though Osiris rarely raised a hand against him he was a master at wielding pain for he knew how to bring someone to their knees by stripping them of their own decency and pride. He was so good at putting one back in their proper place. In fact, he was too good at it.

Once Daniel was cleaned to his lord's satisfaction he was yanked out of the water and physically escorted to their bedchamber. Once inside Osiris called for another guard smiling as he entered.

Daniel hated Osiris with every fiber of his being even more now than before. How dare the snake order him be restrained then proceed to bathe him. He shivered as the recent memory made him ill. As Osiris requested another guard Daniel felt his heart rate accelerate and started becoming very afraid. What the hell was Osiris planning to do to him now? Did he even want to know the answer to that question? No, he didn't. What he wanted was to die...die quickly and leave this hell forever. He winced as the guard still restraining him tightened his hold keeping him firmly against him. Daniel wanted to scream and beg for those hands to release him. He didn't want to be touched. He hated to be touched, hated it...couldn't stand those hands grabbing at him and hurting him. He tensed as the second guard entered and bowed before inquiring, "What does My Lord require of his servant this evening?"

"I wish my favored to be educated about the rules...he must learn that cleanliness is a requirement not a choice. Secure him to the chair."

Secure him to the...aw, hell no! NO! He renewed his struggles fearing what Osiris would do to him once he was restrained to that chair. He would be defenseless. He would be at Osiris' mercy...oh God no! NO! He continued to struggle as his arms were drawn painfully behind his back and quickly lashed to the back of the chair. He wanted to strike out and hurt but could only groan as he pulled and strained against the cruel, harsh ropes now securing his wrists. Just how tight had he been secured to the damned chair anyhow? And why the hell was he still very naked? He felt uneasiness sweep over him and shivered unconsciously as Osiris smirked sinisterly his way before continuing, "Now secure each of his knees to his shoulders with rope."

Secure...oh God, God no, no...NO! That would expose him completely...no... God, please don't let this happen. NO! He struggled harder against the ropes feeling desperation set in as Osiris made that demand. When the guards proceeded to push his knees to his chest Daniel resorted to kicking and fighting even harder. He managed to get in some excellent strikes before his energy waned. He clenched his eyes tightly shut as his struggles became futile. He could no longer resist but still attempted to kick feeling sheer humiliation and embarrassment fill him as rope was quickly twined beneath his legs before the guards quickly drew each of his knees up to his shoulders securing them firmly into place. Daniel flushed as he realized that he was now completely open and exposed for Osiris viewing and exploration. Oh God, oh God, help me. Somebody help me please...please help me! Jack, I need you...I need you...please come to me...please...JACK!

Osiris smiled as the guards finished securing Daniel's knees to his shoulders. His smile broadened further as he noticed that Daniel was now perfectly open. Everything was fully exposed and very vulnerable now. Osiris continued to smile then demanded, "Now gag him..."

Daniel gasped and struggled again trying not to notice that he was tied up in a very humiliating position and spread wide open for Osiris' view and that of the guards still in the room. As Osiris ordered him gagged he yelled, "NO! NO! Please! Don't do this! Don't! God no!"

Osiris' anger increased and he ordered again firmer this time, "GAG HIM NOW!"

He spoke out loud without realizing it voicing his pleas for his lover to help him and to come to him, "NO! NO! Jack, help me. Please Jack...JACK, I NEED YOU!"

He felt helplessness set in as the gag was shoved into his mouth casting him into silence and effectively muting him. After the gag was secured in place the guards exited the room. Daniel kept his eyes clenched tightly shut as anger, rage, desperation, humiliation and fear came head to head within. He was on the verge of panic knowing that he was now trapped with Osiris and completely, utterly defenseless. Osiris chuckled huskily before saying, "Your god desires you to be mute, slave. You have been very non-compliant therefore you will be forbidden to speak up in your defense until I deem you fit to speak again. You brought this all on yourself my precious slave. All you had to do was comply and since you refused I had to take it upon myself to remind you of what you now are. You serve me; you are my slave and you will obey me always. There will be none of this refusal coming from you. I will not allow it or accept it. My favored is to follow every command I give him. You disrespect me when you refuse to comply with my demands. Now you will be properly inspected for cleanliness...a full anal exam will be done to make certain that you have cleaned yourself properly and you will remain tied like this until I grow tired of admiring your gorgeous cock and rosy little asshole."

Mortification filled him as he remained now gagged and helpless tied spread widely for Osiris. Osiris could do whatever the hell he wanted to him now and knowing that scared the hell out of him. As Osiris informed him of what he planned to do Daniel wanted to scream. Could he handle this debasement? He was certain that if he didn't find a way to separate himself from this situation he would suffer immensely. He couldn't handle this! He couldn't! He didn't have the strength or the energy left to do so.

* * * * * * * *

Jack O'Neill jerked awake a scream on the tip of his tongue. He opened his mouth to allow it to escape and shocked the hell out of himself when he yelled Daniel's name. He shivered feeling suddenly afraid, so very afraid. What the hell was happening and why did he feel so...so...

He closed his eyes running his hand over his face and shaking his head. Daniel...he knew he had said that name, the name of his lover, the name of the man who was still MIA. Daniel...why did he suddenly yell Daniel's name in the middle of the damned night? Why did he feel as if Daniel was now in pain and suffering immeasurably?

He knew that he wouldn't be able to get to sleep again so he got up and quickly dressed preparing to take a walk. How many nights was he going to wake up calling for his lover? How many nights would he find himself walking the streets aimlessly staring up at the brilliant night sky wondering about his lost love and fearing for him? How long?

As he started to dress he noticed that he was shaking. Why was he shaking? Why did he still feel as if Daniel was in terrible agony? Oh God, what was happening to Daniel right now? Where was he? Was he even still alive? Yes, he's alive...he's alive not dead...but how was he doing? Was Daniel calling for him even now to come rescue him? Was Daniel crying out for him to come and save him? What if he was being hurt right now? What if he was suffering by the hands of whichever Goa'uld now held him?

He closed his eyes seeing Daniel in his mind's eye...Daniel; his beautiful Daniel, smiling brightly: love shining in those azure eyes of his. Was Daniel happy or sad? Jack had a feeling the man was scared, scared and fearful...why did he feel so certain about that? He sensed that his lover was now suffering...had Daniel called out for him in his desperation and need just now? Was that why he was certain, so very certain, that Daniel was being tormented right at this very moment? Oh God, he felt so uneasy...his stomach even felt queasy. Daniel, are you all right love? Are you hurting? Are you suffering? Do you need me? Is that why I am so certain that you're in pain right now? If you are calling for me then take my strength, take it, love...take it and wrap it around you. Don't you dare forget that I love you and will always love you...keep fighting; keep fighting for me love. Please don't let me lose you. Please.

Jack hung his head as his heart ached and cried out for the missing man. He wrapped his arms around himself and closed his eyes finding himself imagining that his arms were Daniel's and they were now holding him so close. He swallowed hard as he caught the faintest scent of his lover in the air. The scent was coming from his clothing for the shirt he was now wearing belonged to Daniel. He didn't even realize that he had put one of Daniel's shirts on until that scent swept over him and taunted him. He felt his mind ease a bit as the material of Daniel's shirt taunted his skin and his scent filled him. Strangely he felt closer to Daniel now.

He shook his head as he left his house and entered the blackness of night. He noticed the full moon hovering in the sky above shedding light over everything... Daniel loved the moon...loved it...he would stare at that moon sometimes and speak of Sha're. He loved to listen to Daniel talking. Daniel's voice would always be so soothing, so warm...he would speak in soft hushed tones that sent shivers up and down Jack's spine. Daniel had a beautiful voice. One could spend hours upon hours just listening to the man speaking... On those nights he would listen to Daniel and quietly observe him admiring the profile the man presented in the moonlight. The moonlight would always shine off of his hair and make him appear ethereal and otherworldly. Daniel looked magnificent by moonlight. The light would highlight his face and play with the coloring of his eyes making them appear almost as if they were sparkling. He looked wild, untamed and savage by the light of the moon.

Daniel...he missed that man so much and it nearly killed him not knowing where the man was or if he was all right. Daniel was all alone somewhere being held against his will. He closed his eyes shut and sent a silent prayer up into the heavens for Daniel's safe return. He then spoke softly, "I'm here, Daniel, I'm here...I love you...please hang on. Please. I'll find you. I will, I promise!"

His heart was breaking. His life was so silent and so empty without Daniel in it. Sam and Teal'c tried to help him deal with Daniel's disappearance as well as Hammond and Janet but no one could ease the pain and ache now present in his heart and soul that was for the man so far from home. No one could fill that emptiness inside of him except for Daniel Jackson. His bed felt so cold at night and so empty...like his soul. He was dying without Daniel here. He needed the man to breathe and his absence was slowly killing him. He hung his head sighing heavily as the loneliness started to filter around him again.

He again wrapped his arms around his body shivering as that sense of foreboding sparked anew again...there it was that twinge, that little feeling niggling in the back of his mind...Daniel was suffering...oh God...what was happening to him? He again silently encouraged Daniel to hang on and be strong. He stared up at the bright moon sending his love to a man so far away and hoping, hoping against all hope that Daniel would receive the message loud and clear...

* * * * * * * *

Daniel clenched his eyes tightly shut attempting to block out the hand that was now caressing his dick and making him hard. As the other hand started to gently prod at his anal entrance Daniel jumped wincing as the ropes on his body tightened against him. He swallowed hard as he heard Osiris again say that he needed a full examination for cleanliness. He wanted to holler and scream at the snake. He wanted to beg and plead for Osiris to stop this degradation but he was gagged and muted. He had no voice with which to plead at the moment. He, also, knew that Osiris wasn't feeling very merciful at the moment either. Again he called for Jack in his desperation wanting and needing the man to be here with him and to help him through this. He couldn't handle this...he couldn't...

He screamed and bucked against his restraints as something was slipped into his rectum. Oh God, what the hell was Osiris doing to him now? What the hell was going on? He couldn't make himself open his eyes. He didn't want to see how exposed and vulnerable he now was to the Goa'uld lord. He tried to block out what was now occurring but was having great difficulty in doing so especially when Osiris poked him again this time slipping a now lubricated finger into his rectum...he realized suddenly that he had one finger in him and Osiris just slipped another in... Oh God, he was stretching him...NO! NO! He hissed as the Goa'uld lord proceeded to add pressure to his prostate and knew that he was in danger of climaxing...God no! This was so damned humiliating!

He twisted his head away trying to shield his face from the hungry, rage-filled stare he was certain Osiris was presenting him with at the moment. He swallowed hard feeling the gag in his mouth and hating the silence. He had no voice to plead with, no way to talk Osiris out of doing what he was. God, the snake was still at his anus shoving his fingers deeper inside, stretching him and entering where only Jack had entered before. NO! Jack...Jack...Jack...please...oh God, please help me, somebody...anybody! Please make him stop touching me, stop exciting me...please... He shuddered as those fingers proceeded to begin thrusting ever so slowly, ever so gently in and out of him. He felt ill as the snake continued to openly violate him again.

He retreated inside himself calling for Jack, envisioning Jack...imagining that Jack was here with him offering him comfort, aid and understanding. Speaking to him softly, urging him to keep fighting, to hang on and that he would find him, he would. He swallowed hard feeling his heart rate speed as he swore he could hear his lover's voice speaking those words, muttering words of encouragement, words of concern and caring trying to keep him from completely losing himself in this place, in this hell. He jerked as those two fingers invading his body again swept across his prostate and clenched his eyes tightly shut trying to block out the violation...the sheer humiliation that this position and this assault was having on him. He needed Jack and started to imagine Jack's warm arms entwined protectively around his body, holding him so close, whispering words of comfort in his ears, telling him he could do this...he could hang on longer. He imagined those lush lips pressing light butterfly kisses across his skin kissing his face, his eyes, his cheeks, his nose...any where and everywhere Jack could kiss he was...he loved the times Jack would press those dainty light kisses all across him, raining them across his face and body soothing him, easing his pain, calming him and assuring him that he was safe now, would always be safe. In his darkest hour he found Jack and stayed with him...he was with him now...in spirit. He was with Jack...he felt as if he were flying on air...

Daniel noticed that he couldn't really feel anything at the moment. It was the oddest feeling, like he was separated from his body laying with his lover stretched out beside him, holding him close refusing to ever let him go. He wanted to stay here and remain here forever in the safety of Jack O'Neill's arms.

From a distance he heard a strangled, muted cry become a moan of intense pleasure as fingers started to stroke across his prostate. He attempted to thrust upward wanting those fingers to be buried inside and felt himself slipping further away. He tried to resist and fight straining against his bonds. Despite his determination not to respond to the Goa'uld lord's assault, he found himself panting and writhing against his bindings as those expert fingers continued to probe him and add pressure to his prostate gland.

Osiris grinned as Daniel's desperate struggles soon turned into thrusts and shudders of pleasure. As he massaged Daniel's prostate he smiled hearing the man panting as he moved to take those fingers deeper inside of himself. Osiris was nearly panting as well as Daniel's tight heat gripped his fingers so firmly. He could tell that this wasn't the first time Daniel Jackson had been exposed to anal play, but he hadn't been penetrated in a rather long time. The man was deliciously tight. He wondered briefly how long and how often Daniel and his lover had sex before now...multiple times obviously.

He focused on Daniel's face noticing his spirited slave trying desperately to resist his body's normal responses to sexual stimulation. He decided to draw the man's attention to him as he said, "This will mark the beginning of your anal training, slave. I have been debating this idea for quite some time and have decided that you are in need of training desperately. We will intersperse your anal training with your sexuality training."

Daniel moaned again thrusting his hips wanting those fingers to fill him. He tried desperately to slip away, to disassociate, but as Osiris began to discuss training him he found that it was more difficult to slip away. He shuddered as Osiris kindly informed him that he would be trained even more. He again tried to separate from himself, from what was happening to him and growled in frustration as Osiris refused to allow him to slip away. It was almost as if Osiris knew that he was trying to disassociate and was trying to prevent it. Along with speaking to him Osiris shifted and changed his finger positions within his body making him writhe and buck in response to the unexpected stimuli.

Osiris continued, "The first step in your anal training, slave, is to realize that I own all of you and can do whatever I choose to you on a whim. You will be kept secured this way for as long as I decide. I know this position humiliates you, which is why you will remain this way. You must learn to willingly expose yourself to me whenever I wish to see you, to study you or to train you. You will soon learn that there is no part of your body that is off-limits to me. I want you aware that you are displaying the most private part of your body to your master. I want you to learn that you must make everything available to me at anytime, therefore, you will remain in the chair. Do not be afraid for when I decide not to play with you or admire you then you will be granted permission to hold an anal plug within."

Daniel swallowed hard feeling angry, desperate and ashamed. God, he was so open to the Goa'uld lord. Osiris was determined to punish him severely for refusing to bathe himself and keep himself clean for his lord. He hated himself as he tossed his head back allowing another moan of pleasure to escape from his mouth. He was actually becoming so damned turned on by this treatment. God, he was turning into such a slut.

As Osiris started to thrust his fingers in and out of Daniel's anus his body automatically started to thrust with those fingers. He buried himself and his heart down deep as Osiris forced him to draw intense pleasure from such a violation. He allowed that primal hunger to take root and quickly became lost in the floodgates of pleasure. He cried out against the gag as he came fast and hard screaming Jack's name as he climaxed on himself.

Osiris eased his fingers out of Daniel smiling as he noticed that Daniel had come on himself. He licked his lips unable to resist as he lowered and started to carefully, meticulously lick Daniel's sexy body clean not missing a single drop of the man's beautiful cream as he snacked on the offering. By the time he was completed with his task his slave was moaning and groaning as his body continued to writhe and buck in response to the stimuli. He watched his slave straining his sensual body against his restraints noticing that the man looked absolutely fetching as he did so. He then focused on Daniel's face gently pressing a hand to the man's cheek before saying, "You are so beautiful my spirited one, so beautiful. This is only your first lesson. We will have several more sessions before I decide to free you. I like you tied up in such a vulnerable state, wide open for my admiration, spread for my private explorations, trussed up and gagged for your lord...gorgeous. You please me much my precious slave. Now I am going to retire but first..."

Osiris turned and approached his closet. He spent some time searching through things before producing a butt plug. He approached Daniel noticing his servant's eyes widening some. His lips turned up into a cat-like grin as he noticed his servant swallowing reflexively. He then informed, "Sarah, has provided me with a very good education regarding Earth customs and Earth technology both in and out of the bedchamber. When I learned of these I had to acquire a few. Tonight you will continue your anal training. You will retain this within your lovely body all night. If it falls out you shall be punished severely."

Osiris then proceeded to apply lubrication to the plug before pressing the sex toy to Daniel's anus and slowly inserting it into the rectal canal. As Daniel jumped upon first contact Osiris spoke softly to him, "Shh relax, my precious. You can do this. I know that you can. Just allow your body to accept it. You have no choice, slave. You will accept your plug willingly and you will retain it within. You must relax and allow it entrance."

Osiris continued to ease the object into Daniel sliding the new item inside of him. Daniel groaned as the plug was slowly inserted. He could feel his rectal muscles stretching and twitching, widening as they attempted to accommodate the newest invasion into his body. He gasped in shock as he felt the muscles contracting as they wrapped around the plug successfully trapping it deep within. Once the plug was buried to the hilt within him Daniel shifted uncomfortably on the chair fully aware that the new device was holding him open and keeping him stretched wide.

Osiris grinned as he continued, "There, beautiful...absolutely stunning...this plug will keep you in a state of constant awareness. It will keep you stretched open and remind you of your status..."

Osiris leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Daniel's forehead before casting one last hungry gaze across the man's exposed body and turning to approach the bed and lie down. As he slid under the sheets he turned to focus intently on his servant smiling lasciviously as he uttered a good night before turning the light off and shifting into a very comfortable position feeling no guilt over the fact that his poor servant would have to somehow find a way to rest in the very uncomfortable chair to which he was presently lashed.

As darkness fell over the room Daniel became completely aware of his humiliating position, his status in Osiris' legion and the fact that he was completely owned by another. He sat staring into the blackness for the longest time. He felt oddly numb. It was the strangest feeling. He knew he was in Osiris' bedchamber, he knew that he was secured to a chair and he knew that he was tied in one of the most indecent positions his body had ever been in...he was also totally aware of the plug now filling his rectum to capacity yet he couldn't feel anything. It was as if he weren't really here in the chair only his body. He shivered as he realized that now after Osiris played with him and used him the way he wanted to he finally managed to pull off that attempt at spacing out, at disassociating himself from what was going on and he felt kind of nervous and anxious about his success.

As he continued to stare into the blackness of night he started to see forms take shape and mesh together into physical items as his eyes adjusted to the darkness. He shifted clenching his eyes tightly shut as he could feel the butt plug wedged firmly in place continuing to keep him shamelessly stretched open. He could feel the cool air in the room caressing his now very open, very vulnerable genitals and shivered as he became slightly chilled. He was grateful for the darkness for Osiris couldn't see his nakedness in the blackness. He shuddered as he became aware of just how vulnerable this position made him. He found himself again silently pleading for Jack to find him.

Daniel eventually managed to drift asleep after deciding that it was time to escape again. He spent several hours contemplating about just how to pull it off before settling for the night. As soon as he was free of this infernal chair and able to move about easily and freely he was going to run again and hopefully, this time, he could make it. He had to make it for he didn't know just how much longer he could hang on before he went absolutely crazy...

The next day Daniel awoke to rather loud moaning. As something soft tickled his genitals he realized the moan came from him. He jerked his eyes open focusing on the smiling face of Sarah and groaned in pain as he felt the ropes that held him fast in the chair. He could also feel his anus stretched uncomfortably open blushing as he felt the object that was now imbedded within his body...the plug...Osiris had inserted a plug into his rectum telling him that it was part of his anal training.

He felt anger surge to the forefront as he recalled what had happened previous night and hissed as something tickled his dick, which was now standing very hard and very erect at attention jutting up from his shaved groin just begging to be stroked and toyed with. Again he felt the tickling sensation this time across the head of his penis. He moaned as his dick twitched as if to plead for more of that blessedly wonderful feathery stroking. He swallowed hard as Osiris' voice filled the room, "Ah, so you are finally awake my precious one. I must say that I believe you are rather glad to see me...so beautifully hard for your lord...what a wonderful morning to rise and see that my servant was praising me with such a magnificently hard cock. Hmm, I couldn't resist touching it and toying with you a bit my love."

Daniel shuddered as that name made him feel ill. Only Jack was allowed to call him his love...he belonged to Jack! He belonged to Jack O'Neill and no other. Jack held his heart in his hands. He had surrendered his heart to Jack so long ago and now he was keeping it safe for the love of his life as his body continued to betray him by responding so readily, so damned eagerly to his master's strokes and touches.

Osiris chuckled as he continued, "See how your body responds to my touch, my precious slave? Your body does what you do not...it begs and it pleads for my touches and strokes. Your body is so easily aroused, so easily sensitized...you have a magnificent body, my precious slave. You are a magnificent creature. Let me hear you beg for my touch from those supple lips of yours."

As Osiris resorted to twining his fingers firmly about Daniel's now engorged cock Daniel couldn't dampen his automatic response. He thrust his hips offering more of his dick to Osiris' masterful touch while moaning in pleasure and need. God, why could Osiris get him so damned excited and so damned aroused so quickly? Why?

As he focused on his lord's face he saw a pleased expression cross Sarah's beautiful features as Osiris continued to croon, "Yes, yes...that's it my precious slave. Moan for your master, plead with your body for your master's touch...beg for your pleasure and hunger...come let me hear you pleading for satisfaction."

As Osiris gently tightened his grip around Daniel's dick and glided his hand upward Daniel hissed again thrusting his hips upward offering more of his now hard cock to his master for teasing and tormenting. Oh God, he needed to be satisfied. His need was now overwhelming. He desperately needed to be fucked by his master and felt his shame at the realization fill him. As Osiris continued to slowly pump his dick Daniel licked his lips realizing that the gag was now mysteriously absent from his mouth. Trying not to think of how Osiris removed the gag without awaking him, Daniel released a sudden plea, "Please...please My Lord..."

"Yes my precious slave?"

"Please...please..."

"That is it my precious slave yield to me...offer yourself to me. Climax for your lord and master, slave. Give me your magnificent cream...offer me your wondrous juices freely... Come now climax for your lord..."

"Master please...aw God please..."

“Hmm, let me hear how I make you feel, slave. Show your master how much you wish to please him this day."

Daniel struggled with his body to maintain control over his orgasm but knew that Osiris had him now fully aroused and he couldn't deny his body satisfaction or pleasure. He started to thrust back and forth in Osiris' hand ignoring the restraints that held him in place. He thrust harder, speeding up as his orgasm came within reach. He became lost in his full-blown arousal and desperate need. His moans of pleasure quickly became screams of intense joy and as he finally reached his orgasm he screamed for Jack panting Jack's name over and over again as he shot his perfect creamy gism into the air and collapsed against the chair feeling fully satiated. When the rush of euphoria began to dissipate he opened his eyes to look into the face of his captor and felt his world crumble around him as he realized that he once again betrayed his lover and gave himself over willingly to the one who now owned him body and soul.

He felt his shame driving deep within threatening to destroy the fragile hold he was maintaining on his sanity. He heard Osiris request a guard return to cut him loose after removing the butt plug. He was then permitted to bathe before reporting to the throne room.

Daniel swallowed hard as he managed a quick thank you before gathering together the remaining remnants of his tortured soul and heading to the bathhouse. When he saw the bathhouse he launched himself inside and ran to the bath quickly entering the water and curling up into a tight ball as those unshed tears he had desperately kept locked away began to fall and the realization that he betrayed Jack again sliced him open and left his soul stripped raw and bleeding.

Daniel lost track of just how long he remained in the bath curled up in such a tight ball and allowing his shame and sorrow to take hold of him for a few brief moments in time. His body was far passed aching and protesting the position he now held it in. His body felt numb and he knew that pain would answer his efforts to relax his body once again but he didn't care. He used that pain and that numbness as a way of punishing himself for betraying his lover yet again. He deserved to have little feeling in his arms and legs and he deserved to feel the agony that came with the renewal of circulation in his system. He had betrayed Jack again...how many times would he beg and plead to be satisfied by the serpent? How many times would he beg to be permitted to climax? How many more times would he betray Jack as his desire, hunger and need overwhelmed him?

He jerked his head up as he heard footsteps behind him. He felt fear pumping through his body as he recalled what happened the last time he was found in the bath... The memory was so fresh in his mind that a new sheen of tears threatened to fall down his cheeks and add to his misery, guilt and shame. He screamed as a hand touched him hearing the startled gasp and intake of another as the response was unexpected. He tensed waiting for the person to speak feeling relief flood his system as My'la quietly questioned, "Are you all right, Master Daniel?"

He said nothing so My'la placed a comforting hand on his right shoulder. She spoke softer as she continued, "If you have a need to talk with someone then why not speak with Zeenan or I. We are both very willing to listen. We want to help you, Master Daniel."

"I don't need help."

"So you say but your actions speak louder than your words, Daniel. You have kept your emotions locked up inside of you without sharing them with another. Everyone has a need to be heard and to be able to speak freely about issues concerning them. I am here for you and Zeenan is here for you. All you must do is ask and we will listen."

"Thank you but no."

"All right. If that is what you wish but know that the offer still remains and will always."

"Why are you here?"

"Our lord is growing impatient. He was prepared to search for you on his own. I told him that I would retrieve you."

"I...I don't want to leave not...not yet. I still haven't bathed."

"I know. Relax and finish your bath, Master Daniel. I will report to our lord that you will be joining him shortly."

"Thank you, My'la."

"You are quite welcome."

Daniel listened to My'la as she left then focused on bathing. He started to scrub himself harshly feeling extremely dirty and not understanding why he just couldn't seem to get himself clean enough. His frustration grew with his need to scrub hard. He cried out as he successfully scrubbed his left wrist raw but instead of stopping he grabbed up the soap and again applied the rich lather to the irritated skin focusing on scrubbing himself for the third time.

He cried out in despair when he still felt filthy after having scrubbed himself three times already. Tears started to fall unbidden down across his cheeks again as he became more frustrated and angry when his attempts to bathe met with failure.

My'la reported to Osiris to inform him that Daniel would be along shortly and decided to check on Daniel again. When she entered the bath she gasped seeing the man scrubbing himself so hard he was drawing blood from his wrist. She ran over to him and without thought stripped down to her underclothes then slipped into the water approaching Daniel and pulling him against her body with more strength than she thought she even possessed. Daniel tensed in her arms wondering who was with him feeling his fear increase until My'la's soft voice spoke to him soothingly and he found himself relaxing. As she started to stroke his hair so tenderly Daniel realized that she was in the bath with him. He focused on her prepared to speak but couldn't find the words to do so. My'la smiled shyly up at him as she answered, "You were in pain and I could think of no other way to help ease it. I am sorry, Master Daniel, if I have upset you. I saw you hurting yourself and could not bear to watch."

"Hurting myself? I..."

My'la gently wrapped her hand around his left hand and raised his wrist above the water showing him the bleeding, raw skin now there. Daniel blanched upon seeing the wicked looking injury. He tried to deny it when My'la said "You were attempting to scrub yourself clean. You are clean, Daniel, it is your soul that does not feel pure. You cannot do this alone, Daniel. I know...we know that you are still having great difficulty accepting our lord's favor. You feel that you have betrayed your Jack but you have not. Your heart remains pure, Daniel. You have not betrayed Jack. You must stop believing that you are guilty of such a thing for your guilt is what is now destroying you."

"I have to get away."

"Please do not speak of such things around me, Daniel, for we could both be in great danger if you were to tell me of your desire to escape. You cannot get away. He will find you. He always finds those who run and he always punishes them. Please do not run again for I am fearful of what he may do to punish you for a second escape attempt."

Daniel fell silent knowing deep inside that he had no choice. He had none. If he didn't escape he would lose himself. He couldn't handle this life. He needed his freedom. He spoke softly, "My'la, I'm all right now...thank you...thank you for helping me."

"You are welcome. I will leave you to tend to yourself now. When you have finished with your bath report to me so that we can prepare you properly for our lord."

Daniel merely nodded his head and listened as she exited the bath, dried herself off and dressed before exiting the room. He continued to wash his hair and rinse off his body afraid to pick up that washcloth for fear that he would resort to hurting himself again.

After he was finished he stepped out of the bath, dried himself off then reported to My'la so she could prepare him for his lord. When she was finished preparing him she left to give him some time to regain control of his obviously flailing emotions unaware that in the back of his mind he was plotting just how he would escape his captor a second time.

* * * * * *

He sat before the mirror and slowly dragged a comb through his nearly shoulder length hair. As he did so he focused on his face. He noticed that his eyes were still the same color, his face still healthy, his body still healthy...he looked the same as he had before his imprisonment...on the outside. The inside...the inside is what changed so dramatically in the short time since his arrival here. He continued to watch himself in the mirror noticing more physical features he hadn't taken in...faint rings under each eye, the tight clench of his jaw, anger and sadness now marring the blue of his eyes...as he continued to look at himself he reached out and pressed his hand to the mirror tracing the length of his hair in his reflection and trying to see if any trace remained of his former self in that drawn, sad, fearful face now before him. God, he looked the same but...but he wasn't...he wasn't...no he had changed. His physical appearance remained the same but he was no longer the same person.

As he continued to study his gaze in the mirror he noticed a few other things before him...the face that looked back at him was of a stranger...one who was tired, exhausted, sad and depressed. The face before him no longer looked full of life or eager. No, the face before him looked much, much different. There was no youthfulness in that gaze, no joy, no trace of a simple smile...not even a smirk...a glimmer of emotion so faint that it was nearly unnoticeable...what's worse was the gold encircling his throat...

He laid the comb on the dresser before him then pressed the hand to his neck. His fingers found the cold metal indicator of his new life. He watched that hand in the mirror as it slowly traced the mark of his imprisonment and of his servitude. The gold beneath his fingertips was cold, so very cold and heavy...the collar had always been heavy ever since being placed on his body. He never complained about it; never mentioned that it was a bit heavy...he wasn't even sure if that heaviness was due to the gold now encircling his throat or from the heaviness now present in his heart since his capture. The collar was thin and stylish. It wasn't gaudy or thick. It could pass as a necklace except that in the center of the collar was a mark...a mark of ownership placed there by the one who now possessed him. He hated the collar and hated the way it marred that image of himself. His eyes lowered to where the leash was attached to the collar and he felt his insides tense.

Again he moved rubbing his fingers back and forth across the smooth surface of the object that effectively trapped him here. He could feel the mark seared into the metal, feel the sharply defined impressions where the mark had been etched deep to make it visible to all. He glanced at his face once again noticing the sadness seemed to be deeper and more profound now. He no longer saw a brilliant young archaeologist so full of curiosity, so full of energy and so full of life before him, now what he saw was a person who was more stranger...that stranger looked older than his years, older and distrustful...the stranger who looked right back at him was a slave...a slave, a servant, a creature owned and controlled...a creature put on display and who had limited rights...What ever happened to the innocent, carefree, trusting, happy person that once resided in that now drawn face? Was he still present, hiding and awaiting his re-emergence, his rebirth? Or was that young linguist now gone, disappeared along with the spirit and the soul of the being now before him?

He felt anger and rage fill him. He had lost so much in such a short time and it angered him to have lost so much to a soulless bastard who only wanted to own him, control him and order him about. As he shifted his gaze he caught sight of a chair...a simple chair sitting behind him...the object reflected in the mirror before him and as he focused on that chair his rage and anger only increased for it was that chair...that chair that had become his prison only a few days ago when he was punished for defiance by being tied up like a whore...wide and spread for his master and owner. He hated that chair, hated what it stood for, and hated the images it drew into his mind, hated it and wanted it destroyed. He wanted it smashed into smithereens and wiped out of existence. He hated that chair with a passion and before he realized what he was doing, before he even thought of what he was doing he rose to his feet and marched over to that chair picking it up before hurling it across the room where it smashed apart upon colliding with the wall. He felt a bit of joy in hearing that chair breaking but still he was so full of anger and rage, so full of hatred and vehemence that he wanted to punch and kick something else...anything else. He approached that chair, what was left of it, and started to kick at the wood driving his foot into it again and again wanting to hear it crack and groan as it was destroyed by his vicious onslaught.

He failed to hear the door to the bedchamber open, failed to hear the approach of a visitor, until hands suddenly wrapped around his body attempting to pin his arms against him. His reaction was immediate and so full of frustration, anger and fear that he didn't consider a thing before he turned and started to lash out at the unfortunate visitor driving kicks and punches to the person again and again yelling in outrage as he did so. The visitor barely even grunted as each rage filled strike rained down on him and against him. The visitor only focused on restraining the young angry man wanting to stop him before he resorted to hurting himself, for he knew that was where the sudden explosion of temper and anger was quickly leading to...self-destruction...unless he gained the upper hand and allowed the man to expend his energy, anger and strength on him long enough to drain him and weaken him to the point where he would have to stop to regain his breathing, to regain hold of himself and of the obvious rage buried so deep inside.

He couldn't stop himself, he couldn't make himself stop or even think about what he was doing or whom he was striking. He was so caught up in a storm of outrage and violence that he just continued to strike out again and again kicking and punching...twisting and bucking in the arms of the one attempting to control his body, attempting to control him. He fought against those attempts wanting the hands to stop touching him and wanting everything to just end. After putting up a hell of a fight his energy started to wane, quickly diminishing and driving him towards exhaustion. He no longer seemed to be able to control his legs as his knees suddenly gave out on him and he buckled rapidly descending to the floor beneath his feet. The arms were back now encircling him while the hands latched onto his still flailing wrists, grabbing so tightly he was certain the holds would bruise. He tried to yank free yelping as both of his arms were brought together before him and a hard, broad chest suddenly pressed so intimately against his back. Those arms continued to hold him bracing around his body crossing his arms over his chest and pinning each hand firmly against the other. As his legs gave out he felt that strong chest, those strong arms and that even stronger body lithe up against him, molding over his backside and clinging like silk offering him a buffer to break his unattractive collapse to the floor. He felt the arms continuing to hold him, felt that person behind him offering him support and guiding him slowly to the ground, could hear the one behind him breathing as if he had done nothing...obviously his visitor was in good shape and the blows had done little to dissuade him from gaining control of the situation.

He couldn't move, no longer able to find the energy within to do so. He was now tired and exhausted. He groaned in frustration as those arms continued to hold him so firmly in place. He threw his head back with the sole purpose of head butting his assailant but instead allowed it to fall back, drifting against a strong shoulder for support. He wanted to fight and again attempted to break free only managing to wiggle in the arms of the one now holding him so close. He heard a voice fall against his ear gently urging, "Relax young one, you must relax. You are safe now. I have you. I will not let you go. You must calm yourself and allow the anger to leave your body. You must calm yourself."

He responded by whimpering...whimpering was not what he intended but he seemed to have lost his voice along with his strength. His visitor didn't mock him or laugh at him instead he seemed even more concerned as he continued, "Shh, I have you now young one, and I will not let anything happen to you. I promise."

He heard the door open to the bedchamber, felt the person now holding him move then heard the retreating steps of another before the one with him eased his hold slightly still speaking in that calm soothing voice, "I will release you when I am certain that you will no longer feel the need to harm yourself. I do not wish for you to turn your anger and rage inside of you, young one. You already have much too much to deal with inside. You do not need those things to hinder you any further. Hush now. Quiet down and relax...allow me to soothe you, young one. Allow me to lend you aid... Tell me of how you are feeling, young one. Allow me to offer you the comfort and safety you so desperately desire and need to continue on."

He nodded his head slightly in agreement feeling the arms ease up on him a bit more. He whimpered again before finding the courage within to accept the slightest bit of safety from the one now holding him so close. He turned his head into their chest, burying his face from eyes he somehow knew saw way too much. As he felt the soft material of a shirt now caressing his face he inhaled deeply recognizing the scent of his visitor almost immediately and feeling himself relax a bit more...Zeenan...Zeenan was with him now, had obviously come to him when his rage had been at its peak and was still here with him even after he harmed the Jaffa...and he knew that he had...he remembered all too clearly how mere moments before he had resorted to punching and kicking the one with him...poor Zeenan probably now hurt everywhere because he had panicked and fought as hard as he was able. He mumbled against the warm body now pressed so closely against him shocked that he didn't feel the least bit fearful that Zeenan was now holding him so intimately close, "I'm sorry...sorry...I didn't mean to...didn't want to hurt..."

"Shh, hush now young one. I understand why you have done so. Now you must relax and calm yourself...I will not leave unless you ask it of me...I am here for you, young one."

"I...I'm...I don't know why I...um..."

"Shh, you have much anger in you and have not dealt with it. You still have not fully accepted your new life and it angers you so to know you have lost your freedom. You have not yet realized how to cope with all that has happened to you thus far..."

He merely shook his head sighing deeply as he focused on his surroundings. He was on the floor being held in the powerful arms of Osiris' First Prime, held firmly against the Jaffa and leaning into him needing desperately to feel even the slightest bit of safety and comfort the man could offer him. His hands hurt and he tried to move them wincing as he realized his wrists were still imprisoned in Zeenan's strong hands, being held firmly against his body, together...he again tried to free his trapped wrists deciding that it was too much of an effort at the moment. He then spoke aloud, "I'm losing, Zeenan...losing everything here... I have to get away."

"To escape will only bring you more pain and suffering, young one. You have nowhere to go. You cannot flee this place. He will know and he will find you again."

"I can't...can't stay here..."

"I know how difficult this is for you. My'la and I are here for you. All you need do is ask and we will help you as best we can, but we are forbidden to help you flee...to do so comes with a very high penalty. I am sorry that I cannot help you in this manner but I am here to listen, to talk to and to offer you what I can."

"I'm tired...so tired...of everything. How could...I...Jack, I need Jack..."

"Yes this I know also but your Jack is not here. I am certain he is searching for you. He is with you in spirit, young one. You must remember that he is here in spirit. He loves you very much, young one. You must never forget that love. You must never forget him and those you have left behind for if you do you run the risk of becoming lost yourself. As long as you can remember those you love, those who love you, then you will be all right..."

He nodded his head again feeling the soft material beneath his cheek. He was so tired. He snuggled deeper in the Jaffa's arms feeling safer than he had in a long time. Zeenan reminded him so much of Teal'c, so much of his friend that he always felt more at ease with the First Prime of Osiris. He allowed his mind to quiet down and his body to relax then slipped rapidly into rest not even realizing that he drifted asleep in Zeenan's arms.

Zeenan felt the tension draining from Daniel's body and felt the man shifting again. Shortly after that the man stilled and his breathing changed. Zeenan was certain that he was asleep so he carefully stood up trying not to jar the sleeping man then carried him to the bed where he gently eased Daniel down onto the soft mattress and pulled the covers up over him.

As he heard the door open he turned to focus on the visitor. Seeing that Osiris had returned for a second time he placed a finger to his lips to indicate silence. He turned back to Daniel to make sure the man was comfortable whispering that he would soon return before approaching his lord and suggesting they speak elsewhere.

As Zeenan exited the bedchamber he quietly shut the door behind them. He followed his lord to another room where Osiris stopped him and focused on him. Neither said a single word. Osiris turned to gaze out of one of the palace windows listening to the silence that stretched between he and his First Prime.

Zeenan watched his lord waiting for Osiris to speak. He knew that Osiris wanted to question him about his favored. He had arrived at the bedchamber shortly after Zeenan had found Daniel destroying a chair and attempted to restrain the man until he calmed. Osiris had arrived to find his First Prime and his favored on the floor. Zeenan heard his approach and saw shock in his lord's eyes that was quickly replaced with concern when Osiris realized what had occurred moments before. Osiris wanted to approach then but Zeenan sent him away with a simple shake of his head certain that if Osiris were to announce his presence at that time Daniel would have resorted to trying to harm himself. He was relieved when Osiris turned and left the room but knew his lord would return shortly and now here they stood. He watched his lord as Osiris approached a window and presented him with his back. He hesitated before speaking.

Osiris broke the silence first as he quietly asked, "What is wrong with him, Zeenan?"

"My Lord?"

"Why is he acting as he is?"

Why? Didn't his lord already know the answer to that question? How could Osiris not understand why Daniel Jackson was behaving so strangely, so differently from when he first arrived? Did Osiris even realize that Daniel Jackson's soul was being eroded away day by day? Did he even realize that Daniel would die if he became what his lord wished him to become? Daniel was no slave. He knew it, My'la knew it...most of the servants knew it...Daniel Jackson was not a slave, never had been and never expected to become one but now here he was. His freedom, his life had been stripped away so abruptly that he was left flailing trying desperately to hold onto who he was while trying somehow to understand and make sense of what he now is. He was losing himself. He was losing everything...those were his exact words merely minutes ago. Losing him self and certain that he must escape to maintain who he was, who he had been before becoming a servant and slave to his lord. Why didn't Osiris see or understand that? Why couldn't his lord see how much the forced indentured servitude was ruining Daniel Jackson and slowly destroying him day by day, eroding away at his heart, at his spirit, at his soul...at him?

Osiris' voice interrupted his thoughts as he continued, "You seem puzzled Zeenan...puzzled and very concerned. Why do I see fear for my favored in your eyes? You know that I will not harm him. You know that I...that he means much to me, that he is very important to me so why do I see fear in your eyes? I would never harm my favored..."

"No, My Lord."

"Tell me then what is concerning you."

"My Lord, he...he became angry. He was very upset."

"Why?"

Why? How could he answer that question without insulting or angering his lord? If he told Osiris that Daniel was angry because he hated his life, hated his captivity...hated himself how would his lord react? To hear that his favored, whom Zeenan was now certain Osiris was in love with, hated and despised who he was and viewed his lord merely as his master, his owner, his captor how would Osiris react? He didn't want to upset his lord yet Osiris needed to hear his words. He answered, "My Lord, he is very uncertain, very angry, very depressed...he does not desire the life of a slave. He yearns for his freedom, My Lord. He needs to have freedom."

Osiris became angry when he heard those words and the anger sounded in his voice, "I will not release him, Zeenan. Do not dare suggest that I do so. He belongs to me. I will not release him," Osiris' next words came out barely above a whisper as he openly admitted, "For I need him too much..."

Zeenan jerked his head up to stare openly at his lord so surprised by those last spoken words. His lord admitted to needing Daniel Jackson, which only supported his certainty that his lord had fallen in love with his favored in the short time since his capture. When Osiris was in love he fell hard and fast. He had only ever loved one other and that had been his goddess Isis...to fall in love with a servant was not common but it was very obvious that is exactly what was happening here. His lord had fallen fast and hard for the Tau'ri slave who was his enemy and now served as his favored.

Zeenan focused on his lord's face as Osiris softly inquired, "Zeenan, tell me what I should do."

"My Lord?"

"I do not wish for my favored to be so upset and angry. I wish him to be happy. You say that he desires his freedom yet I cannot allow him that so how then am I to help him? I will not release him."

"Perhaps...speak with him. Give him a reason to want to live. He has nothing with which to occupy his mind except time, so much extra time. He has been offered nothing to do in that time except to remain by your side always. He is in need of his own time and he is in need of something that will make him feel as if he is not merely a slave."

"He is no ordinary slave, Zeenan. He has the highest rank a servant may acquire in my legion. He attends me wherever I travel. He has plenty to do..."

"He is always serving you, My Lord. He needs to do things for himself...My Lord, if I may speak openly..."

"You may. You may always speak freely around me, Zeenan, for I am often in need of your counsel, especially in such matters as these."

"Thank you, My Lord."

"Now tell me what it is you have need to say."

"Allow him to be himself...do not punish him for speaking out against you. Allow him to speak freely as well. Grant him the right to be himself. Do not be so quick to destroy the spirit of the one you hold dearly. My Lord, Daniel Jackson is a rare creature, indeed but he cannot survive, he cannot thrive if his spirit is destroyed. If you would like your favored to become nothing more than a beautiful, exotic creature used only for display then continue to do what you have been doing. If, however, you wish him to think independently, to behave as him self...if you wish for him to offer you more respect and to become more obedient to you then you must allow him to maintain his spirit. My Lord, he is becoming what you have wanted, but I sense that you no longer want what you had desired. You wanted a servant who would never question, never argue and never resist. You wanted a servant who would willingly come to you, willingly serve you and do everything that you have commanded...if you continue to focus on destroying his spirit and bending his will then you will have what you have set out for. If, however, you desire his respect, his companionship, his allegiance you must sacrifice your need for total and complete control over him. You must nurture his spirit, nurture his intelligence...you must help him to again find respect for himself as well as for you. My Lord, before he came to us Daniel Jackson was a teacher, an educator, a scientist...he is a brilliant young man..."

"Yes, I know of what he was before serving me..."

"You have taken this brilliant young man and in your need and desire to own him, to possess him you have nearly destroyed him... My Lord, you must decide for yourself if you want to fully control your favored or if you want to allow him to develop and grow on his own. I will tell you now that if you continue to strip him of rights and to destroy his spirit you will lose him."

"Your words are wise, Zeenan. You have given me much to think about and to consider. I thank you for your counsel."

"My Lord?"

"I would like some time to think of all you have told me this day. You are excused."

"Yes My Lord."

"Zeenan, please check on my favored to make certain that he is comfortable and..."

“I will, My Lord."

"Dismissed."

"Thank you, My Lord."

Zeenan left the room surprised that after speaking so openly and so freely his lord didn't grow angry. He hoped that by speaking with his lord Osiris would see what he was trying to tell him. Daniel Jackson was losing himself, it was obvious to those who knew him well. Though he spoke with his lord about Daniel he knew that it would take time for Osiris to change the way he has been with Daniel.

* * * * * *

As he awoke the next morning he remained still trying to recall where he was and what had happened. As his gaze swept over the mirror he remembered and had a sudden overwhelming urge to run, to flee as fast and as far as his legs would carry him. He had no idea what to do any longer. He felt so trapped and so lost. He couldn't even think clearly. He remembered staring at himself in that mirror yesterday and hating what he saw reflecting there, hating what he had become in the short time since his capture. He wanted his freedom desperately but knew that there was little chance that he would be able to regain it.

He jerked up off the bed twisting to look behind him certain that she, he...it would be watching him and waiting to touch him again. As his eyes took in the empty side of the bed he felt himself beginning to relax. Thank heavens she wasn't there...thank heavens. He sat in the bed staring blankly ahead of him contemplating his future. Is this what his life was to be like from now on...fearing that she would be watching him and touching him? Being afraid to awake in the morning because she would be waiting for him? Opening his eyes only to find that he was still a prisoner and a captive of a sinister Goa'uld lord? Being afraid that at any moment she would come through that door and demand a sexual favor from him? Demand he lower to his knees before her, to beg her to satisfy him to plead with her for a right? To wait for her commands before he was able to do anything at all? To face a life of indentured servitude, a life as nothing more than a poor, worthless slave? A life full of offering up his body to her again and again though he hated her and despised the being within? Yielding to the rules of his master and fearing the consequences should he fail to comply or obey? This was no life, this was a nightmare, this was his nightmare...his hell, his prison...his condemnation. He had committed no crime yet he was serving a life sentence and he was so damned tired of the sacrifices he has made.

When would the sacrifices stop? When would he be able to stop sacrificing himself to her rules, her orders and her commands? When would he no longer have to sacrifice any part of himself to continue to survive day by day? Never. He would always have to sacrifice himself, his virtue, his soul...nothing would ever be enough for Osiris. He had sacrificed so much, so very much but nothing would ever be enough. He wanted to cry, to scream, to demand why all these injustices were being done to him over and over again but he no longer had the energy to do any of those things. How could one rally their energy and their strength to resist and to fight when they were reduced to a shell...a being who no longer felt anything, no emotions, no feelings...nothing...he felt...empty, hollow...he felt lost, so very lost and so trapped...trapped for an eternity never to be free again, never to be himself again for his captor was not satisfied with who he was...no his captor wanted instead to form him, shape him and turn him into something that HE desired, something that HE wanted. His oppressor didn't care about his captive's rights, his captive's needs or desires. He didn't care about the emotions and feelings of his favored for everything he was is everything his master despises, everything his master wants to obliterate. How could he hang on, how could he survive when his captor was constantly attempting to change him and make him into something he despised, something he hated, something he wanted to kill and to destroy just as easily, just as quickly as he had shattered that chair the previous evening? How could he fight with all his being when everything that he was is now buried so deep, hidden so far, locked away and trapped deep inside for safe keeping? He had to shove himself deep inside for Jack and for himself...but if he never saw Jack again, never was reunited with Jack again then he would never be able to reclaim himself. He'd be lost forever in this dark, confused, never ending oubliette. He'd be shoved so far down that he would be lost...he would become an oubliette...a place where things are placed to be forgotten...

NO! How he feared becoming such a thing...how he feared losing all sense of reality, all sense of feeling, emotion...reason...NO! He had to leave and he had to run as far and as fast as he could. If he stayed here another moment he would become lost. He had to leave! He had to!

Without thought, without consideration, without worrying about the consequences of his actions he ran fleeing from the bedchamber that held him for so long. He ran down the halls, by servants not realizing what he was doing just knowing and feeling this overwhelming need to run, to escape, to see the sun again, to see anything other than these walls that stood for his prison. He didn't think so far gone was he, so focused was he on his intent on his need to escape that he gasped when he found himself outside the palace walls. He squinted against the brightness of the sun holding his hands before his eyes realizing that things were so much brighter out here. God the sun, the sun...when was the last time he had seen the sun other than through a window? When was the last time he was outside of palace walls able to walk around, able to admire the beauty of nature to smell the fresh air, hear the animals, feel the sun on his face and the wind blowing through his hair? Out here he felt more alive than he had in so very long...

He was only able to admire the beauty and solace of nature for a few moments before it was shattered, his momentary joy and peace was shattered by the loud sounds of alarms...brutal alarms, alarms that cut through the air like a knife scaring away all the creatures who had been enjoying the calm day...destroying his chance at momentary inner calm. The noises were shrill, too loud for his ears and he ran, ran hard and fast away from those shrill sounds wanting them to stop knowing that they were warnings of some kind, indicators that...that what? Escape...someone had escaped...his little exploration had been discovered and the last thing he wanted was to be taken back into his prison!

He ran hard and fast hearing the guards gaining on him much faster than before for he was weaker now, his heart breaking, his depression dealing him a lethal blow lowering his energy, lowering his will and destroying his one chance at freedom...his only remaining chance. As guards swarmed around him he let out a shrill cry of rage, disbelief and terror. No, no, NO! He didn't want to go back! Please no, please don't take me back! Not there, not to him, please no! I want to stay here...just remain here for a few moments...please a few moments is all I ask! PLEASE!

Hands suddenly grabbed him, snaked around him and trapped him. He tried to fight, tried to resist but his soul was shattering into a thousand tiny shards...he had failed...he was being taken back again...back to his prison, back to that place, to that creature...NO! Please, just let me go! He screamed as the hands became more aggressive, angry voices swarmed around him piercing the air, ordering, commanding, yelling...he was being dragged, dragged back towards that dark gloomy palace, back towards his captor, back to his eternal hell, his eternal nightmare! Oh God, didn't anyone understand? Couldn't anyone help him just this once? Please!

Jack...Jack, please come to me! I can't stay there! I can't...can't, Jack! It's too hard! Too hard to remain trapped in that place trapped with him...it's all too hard! Please come for me! You promised you'd never leave me, never! Where are you! Please come to me now! I need you, my heart's breaking, my soul is shattering...oh Jack why haven't you answered my calls to you? Why have you remained away for so long! They're taking me back, Jack. Back to the executioner's block, back to my prison and back to my terrifying nightmares! Help me! Won't anybody help me please!

He was so angry, so depressed, so upset and so frustrated that he could no longer fight. He became even more numbed than previously. He allowed the guards to drag him back inside and to march him to that throne room, the throne room...oh how he hated that place, hated the Goa'uld who resided there. He hated everything about this place, about his life and about his existence. He was so close, so very close to finding some peace and calm but just like everything else it was cruelly stripped and taken away from him. The guards had found him much too quickly this time. He didn't even make it deep into the woods. They had captured him so quickly...he hadn't even crossed the stream in those woods...last time he had made it beyond there but this time, this time he didn't...he had been captured so quickly and now he was being dragged back to the one he feared, the one he despised and the one he hated with all his being. He was being dragged back for sentencing...for punishment. He had no escape, no chance at escape...he was trapped and now he was about to face his captor's anger and rage. He felt his heart plummet as the entranceway to the throne room came into a view and with each step closer the guards dragged him the heavier his feet became...they felt like lead, he felt like lead, he was numb...numb to everything now...he had no chance, no hope...he was trapped here forever...not even Jack could save him now...

He surrendered no longer fighting the guards simply walking aimlessly. He knew he was being dragged before Osiris, knew that he was going to be punished, knew he was walking to his punishment willingly but he didn't care, he couldn't care...how could one care when they were numb...numb and lost...how could one care at all anymore? He had failed again and would never escape this hell, ever...his collar and leash felt like heavy chains that weighted him down; he had been judged by the Fates, judged by Ma'at's feather and deemed unworthy...he was in hell...an endless, darkness that never ended...he was Sokhar's now...oh but Sokhar was dead wasn't he? Then he was with Hades in Tartarus...yes this was Tartarus...though he wasn't in Greece either...okay how about Shoel? Abaddon? Tophet? Gehenna? The lake of fire and brimstone? Nope...okay the devil then...Satan...that's where he was now in this endless, inescapable prison...his very own personal purgatory. There was no escape, none...he was trapped...trapped in this oubliette...he chuckled wondering if Osiris even knew what an oubliette was...oh well no matter. It was time to face the music...time to face his personal executioner...

Let's see he could either have a physical death with lots and lots of pain or a spiritual death with lots and lots of pain, which would be easier to endure? Well...his spirit was already very nearly gone, shattered just like his heart...that left the physical death but his body was also bruised and shattered...dirty, unkempt and unclean...gee he couldn't even have a decent death could he? He silenced his flailing, discombobulated, convoluted thoughts as he was dragged before the throne...the throne of his lord, of the one who was about to pass judgment on him. Osiris was probably mighty pissed with him...of course, what did he care either way his sentence was never ending suffering and condemnation now wasn't it?

Next:

DESPONDENCY

Feedback to: bluebirdstears@yahoo.com

Back

Parts Index

Slash Fiction Index

Home

Top

Copyright©2004-2008 Midnightstorms.net

All Rights Reserved.