Jack and Daniel

Personal Sacrifice Part 5

By: Stacy L.

YIELDING TO THE MASTER

OSIRIS' PALACE: THE PLANET OF BURSIRIS

Pleasure and Pain

Daniel entered their bedchamber certain that his lord was now fast asleep. He glanced briefly at the bed before turning to remove his robe. He closed his eyes as he thought of his lover so far away and again wished the man were here now. God, how he missed Jack and the pain, the pain of that loss was always so much stronger in the darkness of night. It was the nights that he loved and cherished. The nights when Jack would hold him and he'd cuddle in against him inhaling Jack's manly scent and sighing in pleasure as he would gently caress him and kiss him on the face, on his neck, on his lips and body. Jack always took extra time at night to snuggle with him and hold him. They would often lay awake into the night talking quietly about things that happened in the past and in the present. It was the nighttime when they could reassure one another that they were both safe and loved, that they had survived another rough mission and that they still had a love so strong they could survive anything... He hung his head closing his eyes against the pain of the memories and the feelings that thinking of Jack O'Neill could always stir within him. He missed Jack desperately and felt as if his lover would be forever lost to him. He didn't want to even think of spending the rest of his life away from Jack, away from his lover, away from his soul mate for those thoughts were just too hard for him to bear.

He pushed thoughts of Jack to the back of his mind as he focused on his task at hand: removing his robe to join his captor in their bed. He started shrugging out of his robe tensing and gasping as hands suddenly reached out to help him. He clenched his eyes shut as his mind informed him of who was with him. Damn it, Osiris was still very much awake and alert! SHIT! He felt his skin crawling as it, that thing within his ex-girlfriend, helped him undress and hung his robe up for him. In a matter of seconds those hands connected with his sides and those arms wove around his body embracing him before gently pulling him against his captor. The instant his skin came into contact with hers he felt that intense heat and hunger stir deep within him. Skin on skin contact could always, always stimulate him faster than anything else, well almost anything else...when Jack resorted to nipping the nape of his neck or suckling his ear he quickly turned to putty in the man's hands allowing his lover to do with him what he would and enjoying every damned minute of it! He quickly shut those memories down not wanting them to be tainted by the memories Osiris was now trying to forge with him. He would not allow the Goa'uld to ruin any of his memories of his lover for he desperately needed those thoughts of Jack to keep him grounded and keep him fighting for survival. He forced those memories deep within locking them up so tightly that Osiris would never be able to taint them then he replaced the sudden emptiness and aching within himself with pure lust and hunger...primal urges and primal needs began to rule. He forced his mind back to her, to it, keeping his eyes closed as he felt her warm breath bathing his left ear and the serpent's gravely voice speaking with an obvious gruffness to it, "I want you in my bed this night, my precious. You will come to me of your own free will."

Those words were very easy to interpret. It didn't take a linguist to realize that Osiris wanted him in that bed for sex. He felt his stomach muscles bunching up into knots feeling that usual anxiety and desperation snatch at him threatening to engulf him. He wanted to refuse, God how he wanted to refuse but knew that to refuse Osiris was not an option for refusal came at a very high price and he couldn't allow the Goa'uld lord to destroy another world to make his servant obey and yield to him. He couldn't allow it and he wouldn't allow it so he answered, "Yes My Lord," breathing heavily as a second command was spoken. One that sent his every nerve on edge and successfully heightened his desire and hunger, "But first I would like you on your knees..."

"Yes My Lord."

He kept his eyes closed as he started to comply with Osiris' command pausing when his lord added, "No, no...on your knees before our bed, Daniel."

"But..."

"I want you kneeling beside our bed bent forward at the waist, my pet. I want that glorious upper body of yours draped across our mattress while you remain kneeling before the bed."

Daniel felt a spark of anger shoot through him upon being referred to as a pet but quickly moved to comply with his lord kneeling before their bed and spreading his upper body across the mattress. He instantly felt very exposed, inferior and very nervous, especially when Osiris approached him, lowered behind him and proceeded to place his hands on each of Daniel's shoulders. The hold wasn't tight but he was aware of that light pressure holding him in place across the mattress. He knew that he could break free of the hold for Osiris was merely propping his hands on his shoulders but he also knew that if he fought the Goa'uld lord could quickly gain his control by exerting force to those same two hands and effectively pin him to the bed.

He swallowed harder wondering just what the hell the snake was up to. He noticed that though he pushed thoughts of Jack deep within the man's image still superimposed and filled his mind. He was being bombarded with images of his lover urging him to kneel and bend forward. He could almost hear his lover's seductive husky voice crooning in his ear as Jack told him to stay put and relax before turning to retrieve their lube from the nightstand. He moaned softly as visions of Jack O'Neill continued to flash across his mind sending him back in time to one of those moments, one of the last times they had made love with one another. Jack had urged him to get into the position he was now in carefully lubing him before easing his hardened cock into him. The moment Jack had filled him he wanted to scream so loudly because it had felt so damned wonderful, so goddamned terrific, to have that man buried so deeply within him stroking his own hard cock as he crooned softly in his ear telling him over and over that he loved him and that he would love this and oh God how he loved that...feeling Jack as he started to slowly thrust within his body staking claim on his lover and marking him with such slow, extremely intense love making. He had melted like butter in Jack O'Neill's arms that night softly panting Jack's name over and over again urging him to go deeper, thrust harder, move faster, but Jack, Jack was determined to draw out his pleasure by moving slowly, carefully taking extra time to soothe him and utter loving endearments into his ear, taking extra time to plant kisses across his body, his face, his neck anywhere he could reach and taking the time to stroke him intimately and massage his balls...oh shit he was so fuckin' hard now that it hurt! DAMN! He realized that he needed Jack desperately and as he was faced with the cold stark reality that Jack was not here he felt his heart threatening to split and break in two. He again forced all thoughts of Jack, all memories of Jack, all feelings for Jack to the back of his mind burying them deeply knowing that it would only be moments before Osiris staked his claim on his prized slave by taking him and making him come. He couldn't allow those precious thoughts and memories to be tainted he just couldn't! He shoved them deep inside burying them along with his heart and locking them up for safe keeping so that the present wouldn't interfere or mar his precious memories.

As a warm body suddenly pressed up against him and draped over him Daniel jumped in surprise growling as gentle fingers suddenly roamed through his hair before latching onto a hand full, gripping it and pulling his head slightly back. Those fingers he was certain were now entwined in the long shocks of hair that now lay against the back of his neck. His hair had grown some since his capture. It was fast becoming as lengthy as it had been the first time he met Jack O'Neill and he wasn't so sure that he was happy about that. Osiris insisted that he grow his hair long and keep it as such. He seemed to have some sort of fetish for long hair because he was always, always running his fingers through it, brushing it off of his face, sweeping it up in his hands and playing with it. As those fingers seemed to grip a handful of hair a bit tighter he found himself swallowing hard and tensing slightly wondering why Osiris was now grasping his hair in his hand. Osiris wasn't pulling his hair extremely hard he was simply tugging on it and Daniel automatically started to rise off of the bed until a small dainty hand pressed against the middle of his back pushing him onto the mattress and pinning him slightly before that gravely voice now full of yearning again spoke softly in his right ear, "No, no, no. I want you to remain as you are for me, my precious one."

He closed his eyes against his sudden worry and surmounting fear as he softly muttered, "Yes My Lord."

The voice returned still quiet yet firmer with more command, "Do not move."

He felt his stomach muscles twisting and bunching even tighter in his gut as he noticed his voice dropping an octave sounding more submissive as he answered, "Yes My Lord." He cursed realizing that he was again yielding to his lord's commands and orders. Damn!

The hand disappeared from his back just as quickly as it had arrived dropping before that warm, satiny skin again brushed across him as his lord glided across his back pushing Sarah's lush breasts firmly against his back drawing a fiery tendril of desperate aching and need to the surface before sending that heat directly to his manhood coaxing him to harden more. As he felt the friction in that simple move he was nearly singed by the heat she was stirring deep within. It wasn't until that thatch of soft golden curls nestled between Sarah Gardner's beautiful thighs pressed and grazed across his buttocks that he found himself instantly thrusting backwards into her urging her, begging her with his body to please, please make love to him. He felt an overwhelming need to be satiated burst within and knew that he was quickly becoming caught up in the heat of desire as his captor drew from him that which he would not willingly yield. He had to be coaxed and cajoled to open up and to give in to the deep seeded needs and hungers within for he still found it so very difficult to surrender to Osiris and allow him to use him for sex. The guilt that always followed the actual intercourse was always so very hard to bear and so hard to cope with that he often resisted Osiris' attempts at seduction but eventually he caved knowing that if he didn't, if he dared to refuse his lord outright that another planet would be destroyed so he allowed Osiris to stimulate him and to spark that heat within knowing that without the initial stimulation from Osiris he would be unable to perform very effectively in bed for his lord for when guilt found him he often couldn't do what was expected of him. He sensed that Osiris now knew that about him and that is why he spent so much time with the initial foreplay knowing that he had to get his slave aroused by stimulating him and touching him before he would be able to perform adequately in the bedroom...of course, Osiris didn't seem too upset with that little necessity hell he probably enjoyed the damned foreplay as much as he enjoyed the damned sex.

He whimpered as Osiris' next move was to slide his hand downward until he gripped his slave's middle so possessively. He shrieked as Osiris exerted more pressure on his groin pinning him against those soft curls that shielded the entrance to Sarah's moist inner core. When Osiris started to carefully drag his nails across his skin, across his now hairless groin inciting a burning arousal deep within Daniel found himself quickly moaning before thrusting back against that body yet again. He could hear Osiris' breathing increase and heard the softest of chuckles escaping as his dick grew in size swelling and hardening further in response to the heated touch. Instantly that same hand began to toy with him wrapping firmly around his engorged member, squeezing just slightly before beginning to pump. Oh God, oh fuck! Shit! He tossed his head as another loud guttural groan slipped from between his now slightly parted lips in response to the intensity of the actions his lord was now performing on him. He licked his lips before gently sucking in his bottom lip and biting slightly into it attempting to silence his sounds of pleasure not wanting to allow their escape. He also wanted to slow his now erratic breathing down but was failing miserably at the task, especially when his lord moved from lightly tugging him to pumping him faster. He instantly started to thrust in rhythm with that magical hand striving for that final explosive apex his lord was now urging him towards. He allowed himself to get carried off into the storm of the impending orgasm screaming out in pain when the hand in his hair suddenly went from gentle to harsh in mere moments. The moment he felt that sudden painful grip on his hair he stopped his thrusts crying out when the hand only jerked harsher literally yanking him off of the mattress making his back arch painfully in response. He felt fear knife through his body when Osiris started to chuckle behind him. What the hell was happening? What the hell was Osiris doing now? Was this some sort of sick demented fantasy the snake was now using him for or what? As that chuckle only grew louder Daniel felt his calm complacency suddenly crack as fear and panic claimed him in their grip. He instantly started to struggle twisting and bucking in Osiris' cruel hold wanting desperately to be free of the monster who spent the last ten minutes exciting him only to destroy his hunger and desire by resorting to violence in the midst of his passion. As Osiris responded to his struggles by yanking harsher on his hair he yelped again before speaking out in confusion and torment, "My Lord please...I don't... Please stop this. I don't understand why you're... Have I angered you My Lord?"

Osiris refused to release his grip as he gently crooned, "No, no, no my precious Daniel. You have not angered me. You are pleasing me very much."

"Then...then why...why are you...hurting me, My Lord?"

"It is not my wish to harm you, my dear sweet pet. I only wish to show you how pleasurable love making can be when one walks a balance between pleasure and pain."

A balance between pleasure and pain? Oh God, what the hell was Osiris trying to say? Was he trying to say that he liked to cause pain at the same time he was providing pleasure? What the hell? Was the damned snake a fuckin' sadist now? SHIT! The thought was rather frightening and as he focused on that painful grip in his hair he found himself praying that he was wrong, but when Osiris again began to pump his dick refusing to release the grip he held in his hair he shuddered. If Osiris drew pleasure from causing pain and... What the hell did that mean for him? He desperately grabbed at the covers beneath his body clenching them tightly in his fists and gritting his teeth as he could focus on nothing but the intense agony that grip in his hair was offering him. How the hell was this pleasurable? How the fuck...? He spoke again, "My Lord please...please stop. I don't...I don't like this...please."

"You do not have a choice in the matter, my dear. Your duty is to please your lord in whatever way I desire and this is pleasurable for me."

"Pleasurable? THE HELL IT IS! Don't do this! Stop please...My Lord, please. I don't..."

"Be silent, relax and enjoy..."

"I can't enjoy when I'm in pain. I can't do this. Please..."

Osiris sighed in frustration still refusing to yield the grip in his servant's hair continuing, "Open your mind, my precious one. Allow your desire to fuel you and give in to the ecstasy that this is bringing you..."

"Ecstasy in pain? I don't think so... Please...God will you just stop this. STOP! I can't do this. I can't and I won't!"

Osiris' only response to that refusal was to tighten his grip further. Daniel screamed feeling desperate and wanting nothing more than for Osiris to leave him the hell alone. He yelled, "Get the fuck off of me! GET OFF!" and resorted to bucking and flailing trying to knock the phoenix lord off of him and away from him. He felt tears piercing the corners of his eyes as the hold only grew more painful and Osiris began to pump him harsher. He became desperate as he struggled to break free of the grips the Goa'uld lord was maintaining on him. He lashed out trying to strike Osiris and shuddering as fear enveloped him threatening to choke him when all his struggles were meeting with failure. He quickly fell into a mantra of no feeling a sudden pain erupt in his chest and panicking when he realized that he was also now having difficulty breathing. He couldn't breathe. Oh God, he couldn't! His chest hurt too much, felt as if it were being crushed... He couldn't breathe! As his desperation and panic began to set in deeper he tensed and spoke louder forcing words out between harsh gasps as he tried to tell Osiris to stop hurting him, "Please...stop...stop...stop hurting... Can't...can't breathe... God...can't hurts... Get...get off. GET OFF! Please..."

His next words tumbled forth coming out trembling as he tried to get through to Osiris again, "Please...please, My Lord...get...get...off!"

Upon hearing the sudden trembling in his servant's voice Osiris ceased his movements. When he realized that Daniel was now muttering and seemed to be gasping desperately for breath he felt fear travel through him. Daniel was in trouble. No, NO! He could hear the edge of panic in the man's voice, feel the tenseness within him and yelled at himself for neglecting to pay closer attention to the Tau'ri slave he now loved so deeply. Sarah had warned him of this, warned him since that very first time not to move fast and to be careful where Daniel was concerned. All he wanted to do was show the man that pain and pleasure balanced could provide extreme pleasure within. All he wanted was to make the experience, make their sex, more enjoyable for the man he loved. He had no idea what to do so he turned to his host hoping that she could somehow help Daniel where he could not. He shook his head before calling to her, "Sarah what is happening? Why...why is he...?"

'He is panicking again, My Lord. You didn't stop when he asked you to.'

"He was enjoying it. He was!"

'Yes until you hurt him...'

"I...I didn't... I...it felt so wonderful to... I thought he would find it... What do I do now?"

'Calm him down. Reassure him...let him know that you are now listening to him and that you want nothing more than to comfort him and help him through this. Get him calmed and don't rush him. My Lord, he has just recently started serving us in bed he is probably not yet ready to become...experimental. You must take things slow.'

"You speak to him Sarah. He will not listen to me. Calm him for me."

'Yes My Lord.'

Sarah felt Osiris give up control as he stepped to the back of her mind allowing her to take control of the situation. She spoke softly, "Daniel...Daniel listen to me. Listen to my voice. You're all right. You're okay. Please listen to me."

Sarah eased the tension Osiris had been keeping on Daniel's hair only moments before and carefully eased her fingers loosening them but not removing her hand. The moment she relaxed the hold Daniel started to instantly lower his head towards the bed and as he drew his arms up above him before pressing his forehead into his now folded arms she sensed that he didn't yet realize that the grip had been released. She quickly switched to gently combing her fingers through his soft hair whispering words of comfort in his ear. When she sensed his body beginning to relax beneath her she started to carefully, slowly stroke his still hard cock with her fingers. When he seemed to calm down she refused to stop her comforting touches smiling when she heard a low drawn out moan suddenly escape from between his lips before he started thrusting ever so slightly urging her fingers to continue their blessed strokes across his now rock hard member.

She spoke softly in his ear again urging him on, coaxing him and praising him for his ability to relax and pull himself out of panic. When she blew in his ear Daniel purred crying out exquisitely as her tongue delved into his ear canal then out laving his outer ear before she tugged his earlobe into her mouth and began to suckle her prize. As another moan of pleasure filled the air around them she began to pump him gently guiding him to the orgasm he had been striving for before Osiris became a bit too aggressive for him. She could feel his orgasm climbing and as she felt the first spasms ripple through him she clutched him to her screaming out with him as he came all over her hand. She then began to plant soft kisses across his broad back and shoulders thanking him for coming so gloriously for her.

As Daniel's breathing began to calm she urged him to rise and climb into bed. Once in bed she started to seduce him pushing him towards desire yet again as she kissed and licked her way down across his chest to his groin where she feasted on what remained from his orgasm. Once she had him licked to her satisfaction she licked his come off of her hand then returned to feasting on his dick smiling as she sucked him to another hard on. Upon seeing that glorious dick standing so tall, so proudly she knew that she had to make love to him. She carefully straddled him grasping his penis gently at the base as she carefully guided his manhood into her sopping wet mound of springy curls. Together they moaned as she encompassed him and he filled her to capacity. Once their bodies were locked intimately together Sarah sat atop him allowing herself to feel just how glorious it was to have the man beneath her buried within to the root. She had missed this connection with Daniel and now that she had it again she wanted to savor it. His magnificent manhood was buried deep within her and she could feel her vaginal muscles still contracting, tightening around him and wrapping him in a moist warm embrace. Neither moved as they both focused on the desperate hunger and desperate need that now filled them as well as the pleasure that arose from fitting together so intimately.

Sarah started to thrust first riding him slowly, gently urging him to strive for orgasm. As she leaned forward planting several kisses on his lips and face he soon joined her thrusting upwards to meet her needing to climax with her. They continued to ride to the heights of pleasure together striving for that final explosive orgasm and as intense euphoria suddenly rippled through both of them they screamed as they reached orgasm together collapsing against the mattress breathing heavily in the aftermath of such an intense moment.

As they lay still in the darkness after their lovemaking Daniel stared at the wall to his right closing his eyes when Sarah leaned up and pressed a kiss to the base of his neck before asking, "What are you thinking about, Daniel?"

As he heard her voice and the concern lining it he was certain that Sarah was presently in charge so he softly uttered, "Sarah..."

"Yes Daniel?"

He closed his eyes feeling some of the tension leave his body when she supported his suspicions by responding to her name. He then swallowed hard before offering, "Thank...thank you for...for... I...he frightened me. I...I wasn't ready for..."

"Shh, shh. I know Daniel, I know. I understand. You need not worry about him going too far. I have been keeping a very close eye on him and on you. I have been showing him how you like to be pleased and reminding him that he must take things slow."

Daniel spoke without thought as he said, "I hate that you know. I hate how you force me to respond to him..."

"Daniel I do that because I love you and I know that the punishment for non-compliance has the ability to destroy you. You have not been the same since Alandria..."

She felt him suddenly shudder in her arms and held him tighter again raining butterfly kisses across his neck and arm before continuing, "If you don't perform... You could never survive that, Daniel, not a second time so I...help you to do what you must to satisfy our lord."

Daniel didn't respond he only nodded slightly then fell silent once again. She watched him as he snuggled unconsciously deeper into her embrace. She watched him as he started to drift asleep softly informing him, "I will not allow him to destroy you Daniel. I'll make certain that he doesn't go too far or demand more than you are able to freely give. He listens when he becomes concerned and worried for you and he tries to do as I say. I'm here Daniel and I'm not going to let him hurt you."

Oh but you already have, Sarah, you already have. He's hurt me. He's hurt me so much and you, you have helped him to do it yet you don't see it because I hide it; I hide everything from you... Daniel allowed his response to go unspoken keeping those words to himself not wanting to put voice to them. She thought that she was helping and she was a little but she could never ever understand how hard it was to give himself to Osiris knowing that his love belonged to only one other. She could never realize how devastating it was for him to allow reality to sink in and allow himself to remember that each time he performed for his lord in bed he betrayed the one man he loved above all others and the truth of it cut him like a knife, stabbing through him plunging so deep inside that he had to fight not to allow himself to become lost in a vast wasteland, a vast ocean of guilt and despair.

* * * *

The next morning he awoke and quietly made his way to the bathhouse again feeling shame and guilt stalking his every move. He had surrendered again. He had given himself to Osiris and betrayed his lover again. God he needed to bathe. He suddenly began feeling dirty again and wondered if he would ever become use to servicing Osiris in bed. He pushed those thoughts aside as he entered the bath and began to scrub himself vigorously. When he was finished he dried off then reported to My'la.

My'la waited patiently for Daniel to report to her for his daily preparations. She wondered how he was doing this morning. When he entered and cast a quick glance towards her before looking away she felt her heart ache for him. She quickly approached him sensing that he was very troubled. She quieted her voice as she whispered, "Oh Master Daniel..."

He gazed at her again then approached. He didn't say anything merely stood before her and allowed her to begin readying him for their lord. She knew that he was very upset so she made her movements slow as she began to carefully fit his chastity belt on him. She began to secure each lock in place wanting to speak to him but unsure of what to even say. She paused in her preparations when Daniel softly inquired, "Does it ever get easier?"

"Does what ever get easier, Master Daniel?"

He tensed upon the formal title hating that she used Master before his name but knowing that to argue the point was useless for My'la would continue to address him as such even if he told her not to. It was expected of her. He chose to focus on her question throwing his hands up in the air and pointing about the room as he answered, "This...and this?" he added as he gathered his lead chain in his hand to show her what he was speaking of.

She focused on his leash then his face seeing how much he hated to serve as a slave to his Master. He hadn't complained about it much as of late, not that he complained much before, but obviously he still didn't feel comfortable yielding to another. She simply replied, "Yes, but it takes time. For me this is natural. My parents were servants and I was born as such. I was raised to serve. You have never known such a life as this. You have come a long way with the help of all your formal training and yet you still find it so difficult to submit. Eventually this life will become more natural to you and you will become more comfortable performing your expected duties. In time you will become use to this life you now live, but it will take time."

Daniel jerked on his leash in disgust before continuing, "I hate this you know. I hate to be led about as if I'm a damned pet. I hate serving his every need and I hate that he expects it of me."

She nodded her head before responding, "Yes this I know Daniel, but you have no choice in the matter."

He lowered his gaze as her words reminded him of that cold stark reality. He had no choice. He had to serve. He had to obey. He had to submit to his master or suffer for his defiance and refusal. Yes he had to serve and he had to wear the obvious marks of his indentured servitude for all to see, so all would know that he belonged to Lord Osiris. He shook his head in bitter disappointment as he softly replied, "No I don't have a choice so shouldn't this, this life, this existence of indentured servitude become... I don't know, easier for me?"

She smiled sadly as she answered, "You have never served another. You have lived as a free man all of your life. This life you are now leading it is a big challenge for you. Yes it should become easier with time but it will never come as naturally to you as it does to me. In order to serve completely you must unlearn things you have been taught in the past. To unlearn those things unfortunately comes with a very high price: you would forget who you once were and you would lose yourself here. You would become what our lord has always wanted you to be and you would no longer be happy or independent. You could never voluntarily surrender so much of yourself to another therefore you will never become a complete slave. There will come a time when you will yield willingly and obey without question but you will never be a true servant because you are not a slave. Do you understand what I am trying to say Master Daniel?"

"Um yeah, I suppose..."

"Even now you do not offer complete obedience to our lord. You do not submit yourself completely to him and you never will. What you do you do to survive ...you do what you must to survive from day to day. You yield to him because if you do not then he will destroy others to punish you for your defiance and disobedience. The things you do for him are not of your own free will for he has coerced you by using others to earn your compliance and your respect. You oppose him even now..."

He remained silent closing his eyes tightly shut as he heard the final lock on his chastity belt being snapped closed. The action did not get passed My'la who reached up to gently cup his right cheek in the palm of her hand. Upon the physical contact Daniel snapped his eyes open staring at her in shock and confusion. She smiled warmly before adding, "You still close your eyes when I latch the final lock on your chastity belt. That alone signifies that you will never be comfortable with serving your master and lord. The belt protects you but again you have no say in the matter. You wear it because he demands it of you. You submit to me and allow me to lock it on you because you know that it must be done. You know that if you refuse... You do so to survive Daniel. I wish I could tell you, assure you that this life will become easier but I fear for you it will never be. You desire your freedom too much to surrender all to another."

Daniel nodded in response to her comments swallowing hard as he thought of all she just told him. She told him things that he already knew but something possessed him to ask the question anyway. She smiled before indicating the bed to him. He nodded before approaching it and lying down upon it again submitting to her continued preparations. As she started to work the massage oil into his skin she questioned, "Master Daniel what has you so upset?"

He closed his eyes moaning softly as he felt her well-practiced fingers kneading into sore muscles slicking his body with the scented oils that his lord required he be covered in. As she asked that question so softly he responded with a question of his own, "What?"

"The question you asked of me... You know the answer yet I sense that you needed me to say it as if to...remind yourself of just what you must do for our lord. Tell me Master Daniel what has you so upset?"

She was perceptive he'd give her that but he found that he couldn't answer that question so he simply replied, "Nothing, My'la."

She shook her head knowing that Daniel's answer was a lie. She knew him long enough to be able to tell when something was bothering him that he really didn't want to discuss and right now there was something definitely upsetting him so she called him on his bluff, "Master Daniel please do not lie to me."

Damn she was sharp. He had spoken with her several times and one thing he had noticed relatively quick was that this woman, though she was a servant, was smart but still he refused to answer her question truthfully, "I'm...I'm not."

"You are."

"No I'm..."

He shook his head in frustration realizing that though he didn't want to speak to her about what is bothering him his mind obviously had other ideas because before he knew it he was trying to attempt to explain why he was upset, "I keep, I... Every time I...surrender to him I feel so...so, I don't know. I...I know I have to...please him but afterwards... I try...I try to avoid the..."

Sensing that he was having difficulty speaking just what was on his mind My'la provided his answer in a question, "You feel ashamed and guilty do you not?"

Daniel said nothing. He remained completely silent allowing himself to relax further under her careful ministrations. What she said disturbed him because it was so very close to the truth that he didn't know what else to say. She again saved him from having to explain, "As I have said you do what is expected of you because you have no choice in the matter. You do as commanded to survive and this is why you feel guilt and shame. Our lord manipulates you to gain your compliance but you do not want to admit to yourself that he does so. You feel guilt because you believe that you should be stronger, that you should fight more, that you should resist more...perhaps you feel that your Jack would have handled these situations much better than you have. You may believe he would not have so willingly betrayed you as you have done to him but...you are wrong Daniel. You are WRONG. He would do the same if he were in your position and he will understand."

"But..."

"If he loves you as much as I suspect then he will understand why you so willingly surrendered to your lord. He will understand that you had to comply to survive. He will, Master Daniel... You are justified in feeling ashamed because he has used you to satisfy himself but you should not feel guilty for performing acts that are required of you to keep others safe from destruction. What you do you do to survive and to protect those our lord has threatened. You have no reason to feel guilty about self sacrifice."

Daniel nodded remaining silent for several long moments before thanking her. They then fell into a comfortable silence as My'la continued to prepare him for his lord. Once finished he again thanked her before leaving the room to report to his lord and take his proper place beside him at his throne.

* * * * * * * *

Osiris smiled as Daniel entered their bedchamber reporting to him as commanded. As Daniel glanced nervously at him he chuckled softly before ordering, "On the bed my precious one."

"Yes...yes My Lord."

Daniel quickly complied again feeling his nervousness and uncertainty sweep over and through him. Once he was settled on the bed Osiris smiled then casually sat down before straddling his hips and leaning casually forward. As he did so the thin gown he was wearing slipped off of his shoulder drooping just enough that Daniel could see those two creamy mounds of breasts Sarah had been graced with. He snickered as Daniel tried to act nonchalant acting as if he hadn't noticed but the man's breath betrayed him for it hitched and his tongue suddenly flicked out to swipe invitingly across his bottom lip. He leaned forward more reaching up to run his fingers through Daniel's hair before saying, "Tonight you will be taught another lesson, my precious one. You must pay very close attention to these lessons as well. Is that understood?"

"Yes My Lord."

"Very good... Now tell me, my beloved favored, who owns you?"

Daniel cast his gaze to the far wall refusing to answer that question. Osiris only smiled further as he leaned down to capture Daniel's luscious lips making sure to grind his middle across the front shield of the chastity belt his slave still wore. As their lips met and he deepened the kiss Daniel couldn't help but respond with a soft moan of his own. He then broke the kiss and remained hovering so near in preparation to swoop down and again capture those lips before he whispered, "Who owns you, slave?"

Daniel could feel Osiris' warm breath bathing across his lips and mentally cursed his body as the closeness to his lord was succeeding in exciting him to no end. As Osiris ran a finger across his bottom lip Daniel reacted automatically by tugging that finger into his mouth and suckling it like he had been taught drawing a choked groan from Osiris in the process. Osiris removed his finger then leaned down grazing his lips across Daniel's before turning to lapping lazily at his neck. When he began to nip at his vulnerable throat Daniel found himself growling and automatically thrusting his hips upwards grinding against his lord for further stimulation. The action alone forced him to release a choked grumble to the air. He then watched through desire-laden eyes as Osiris pulled back and grinned again softly prompting, "To whom do you belong, slave?"

He still refused to answer further frustrating Osiris. Osiris resorted to changing his tactics slightly. He continued making little attempts at seduction by grabbing and tugging a delectable ear into his mouth and suckling it. Again Daniel bucked thrusting up against him and moaning. As he shifted to blowing warm air into Daniel's ear the man shuddered. Osiris' smile broadened further as he again asked that same question still not receiving an answer. He became even more frustrated a bit amazed that his servant could be so resilient when it was so obvious that Daniel was on fire beneath him and was so desperate to be satisfied. He'd have to change his tactics again to make the man crack beneath him and make the confession he so wanted to hear come from those supple lips. He refused to give up choosing this time to move his seduction another step further by clamping his mouth over a nipple. Sarah had told him that Daniel's nipples were definite erogenous zones sure to make the man scream in extreme pleasure if they were teased so he began to slowly lave and suckle each of them making one pucker and harden before turning his focus onto the other. The move drew a desperate whimper of pleasure from Daniel's lips making him shiver in response as he wrapped his arms around them, yanking them down on top of him before pinning their heat against his still secured groin.

As Daniel's hands slid down to cup each of Sarah's pert round cheeks Osiris could only chuckle feeling excitement flood their body as Daniel gripped them tightly against him. Oh yes he was definitely beginning to disturb his slave just a little bit with his taunting. He felt the thrill of victory coming within his grasp as he continued to slowly torment his servant until the man was writhing, moaning and bucking beneath them. He was definitely extremely close to his goal now and quickly changed his question, "Would you like to climax for us, our precious one?"

"Yes...yes please...please..."

Ah, yes the man was breathless with anticipation. Perfect, absolutely perfect! He whispered huskily, "Then tell us who you belong to..."

Daniel again refused so Osiris sighed in disappointment before forcing himself to rise out of bed and break off all bodily contact with his enticing slave. He could feel the loss of holding the fiery man against him. He desperately wanted to make love to Daniel but was determined to teach him a little lesson in submission. If Daniel would not willingly say to whom he belonged to then he would suffer being extremely turned on and very unsatisfied. Osiris knew that it was cruel to arouse his servant so thoroughly then break all physical contact with him but he had a point to make and if this is what must be done to get that point across then so be it.

Daniel gasped and whimpered as Osiris left him alone in the bed. Why had Osiris just left him here so painfully aroused? He was confused by that action, and found himself releasing a soft complaint, "Master..."

Osiris lowered beside him watching as Daniel stared intently at him with eyes full of confusion intermixed with hunger and desire. He swallowed hard determined not to answer that plea he was seeing in the man's eyes at present. He instead pressed two fingers gently across Daniel's lips hushing him before continuing in a thick, husky tone, "For your refusal to say who owns you this is how you will remain for your lord...extremely aroused. When you are ready to admit who owns you then I will free you of your chastity."

"But Master..."

He could hear the hint of disappointment and whining in those two uttered words but shook his head turning to pick up the small glass of wine he brought to their chamber for this evening. He lifted it before Daniel saying, "Shh, drink ...drink this and hush."

Daniel wanted to be angry and wanted to demand his lord finish what he started but he could see that there was going to be no persuading his lord this night so he lowered his gaze and softly replied, "Yes My Lord," allowing Osiris to press the glass to his lips. He drank the pink liquid that Osiris offered hissing as he could taste the alcohol in the wine and feel it burning down his throat. Instead of calming him, which his lord no doubt intended to do with the wine he felt even more aroused. Shit, how could he feel so damned horny after only a few touches? Shit! He focused on Osiris as the Goa'uld lord continued, "Now you will rest for your lord while I bathe."

"But My Lord..."

"Hush my sweet Daniel and rest. You must be tired. Sleep for your lord, my precious one. Sleep."

He sighed in disappointment but did grumble a quick, "Yes My Lord," before turning onto his side and closing his eyes. Damn he was so fuckin' horny and Osiris was just going to leave him like this? What the hell was that about? He listened to the Goa'uld lord, as he exited the room no doubt heading to the bathhouse and became even more aware of his present predicament. Without thought he reached down to his groin and wrapped a hand about his middle cursing when he felt the cold unyielding metal of his chastity belt. Shit, he couldn't even fuckin' pleasure himself with this damned belt locked on him. SHIT! He knew beyond a doubt that this was going to be a very long night.

As he awoke the next morning he softly moaned feeling his penis throbbing inside the belt locked over his groin. He ached so damn badly that without thought he carefully eased a hand down to rub himself in hopes to ease his intense urges. As his hand brushed the metal chastity belt he softly growled cursing Osiris for locking the horrid device on him and for tempting him the previous evening. Osiris was playing games with him now. He had deliberately stirred him up so he could again prove to his servant that he was now owned and controlled fully by his master. Son of a bitch! He again found himself wanting nothing more than to strangle the precious life out of the sadistic creature now lying beside him.

As he gazed upon her face he felt his heart clenching in his chest. She looked so peaceful, so calm in rest. She looked just as he remembered her...free, wild, tender and innocent. She was none of those things anymore for a snake now resided within her. He closed his eyes as his failure to save her washed over him again. He had failed her just like he had Sha're and like Sha're he had no way of rescuing her from the prison she now resided in. He had hoped that someday he could free her and give her back the life that had been so cruelly stripped from her by an evil parasite. He had actually believed he would succeed in rescuing her but he quickly learned that Sarah Gardner didn't seem all that upset with sharing her life with another. In fact she was helping him. She was helping Osiris to control him and keep him a virtual prisoner. She claimed to love him, to want to help him yet she didn't act as if she even cared. Oh she helped him respond to Osiris in the bedchamber claiming that she was helping him serve and saving him when what she was really doing was assaulting him and raping him. He didn't want to respond to Osiris. He hated how his body reacted to their touches and strokes, hated how he begged them for pleasure, hated how even now all he wanted to do was beg his lord to permit him to climax for him...

God he hated this life, this existence. He was nothing more than a plaything to Osiris, nothing more than a fuck toy. He had no freedom, no individuality any more. What he did was what his lord commanded. He no longer had his independence because along with everything else Osiris cruelly stripped from him upon his capture his independence was the first thing to be stolen. When he wasn't serving Osiris in their bedchamber he was kneeling beside Osiris' throne or at his feet and being forced to allow unwanted petting, touching and stroking, forced to respond to those unwanted advances with fervor and desire. When he wasn't kneeling he was sitting beside Osiris upon his throne. In the evening he attended his lord sitting with him to dine and following him around like a little lost puppy being led by his leash to check on the other servants or the prisoners who resided in the dungeons... When they weren't wandering the palace they were in the village among Osiris' followers. Once they were done with that he was granted a temporary reprieve, a few moments alone to bathe. He cherished his baths because that was the only time of day that he was not under his master's watchful eye. He sometimes would bath quickly so he could "escape" to visit other servants. At those times he would tell the children stories and teach them to read but his time was always very limited for he knew if he didn't report to their bedchamber after a half hour his lord would seek him out. Zeenan would sometimes stall Osiris by asking him mundane questions or discussing security issues with him. He was very grateful that Zeenan kept such a protective eye on him. Zeenan was like a brother to him always watching out for him and making sure that he was all right, that he was safe.

He hated how Osiris denied him personal time to himself. He granted him the right to read books and to visit the servants but there was always a time limit, a certain amount of time he had free before Osiris would demand his presence or begin to fondle him. He hated that most of all. He could read in their bedchamber for as long as he liked but Osiris insisted he read in bed and though he always vowed that his servant could read for as long as he desired he never upheld that promise, if you could call it a promise. He would often sense Osiris watching him and could usually predict when his lord would grow bored of watching his slave and would reach over to stroke him, or pet him or kiss him. If he continued to ignore those little indicators that his lord wanted served NOW then Osiris would proceed to seduce him making his touches and kisses more bold, running his hands up and down across his inner thigh, pressing dainty kisses to his hip, licking his arm, fondling him openly...when he still failed to offer his full attention to his lord the book would be discarded next plucked from his fingers and tossed carelessly onto the floor usually when he was deeply involved in it. Osiris would then be on him urging him to lie down and he would comply after staring angrily at his lord for a few minutes or casting longing gazes towards the discarded book. If he refused to focus completely on his lord then Osiris would threaten to deny him even that right ...to read. Once the threat was issued he quickly yielded becoming putty in the Goa'uld lord's hands allowing him much more liberties than he ever wanted to. He would quickly shut down his emotions, silence his thoughts, silence Jack's voice and lock up his heart forcing himself to actually FEEL the tender strokes, licks and caresses across his body. Soon he would find himself moaning or panting lazily spreading his legs apart to offer Osiris more of his body and allowing his lord to do with him whatever he pleased.

He hated his life, hated his existence and hated his indentured servitude. He longed for more time to himself, longed to teach, to read and to explore. He longed for Jack and longed for home. He longed for the SGC and for his freedom but knew that there was a chance he might never get those things back. He knew that when Osiris captured and enslaved him that he might've just lost his only chance to reclaim those things he so desperately longed for and it crushed him. The hardest thing for him was not seeing Jack, not being able to touch or kiss him goodnight, not being able to cuddle up against him or snuggle deep in his tender embrace, not being able to carefully trace every contour of the man's body or make love to him... He missed so many things but what he missed above all others was Jack O'Neill. He needed Jack, longed for Jack, ached for him and prayed for him to come, to save him from this horrible existence. Without Jack in his life he felt empty and incomplete. He felt as if his heart had been ripped from his chest. It was so easy for him to lock up his heart now, to lock it up and toss away the key holding it safe for Jack because without Jack O'Neill in his life he had no strength, no love, no foundation, nothing to keep him grounded and balanced. The loss of Jack tore at his soul and threatened to destroy him because without Jack to cling to, to rely on, to depend on...to trust then he had nothing. No safety net, no comfort...he had nothing without Jack because they were meant to be together. Jack was the other half of his soul and without Jack, without him he would always remain incomplete.

He tensed as she softly moaned feeling panic flare up within himself. Oh God she was awaking, it was awaking, and all he wanted to do now was plead, beg to be satisfied, to be given permission to climax. God when had he become so dependent on her, on it, to give him pleasure? When?

He felt his heart thump in his chest the moment her eyes opened. She smiled at him, a smile that looked so much like the Sarah Gardner he had known and loved but as those eyes became darker and hunger entered he knew Sarah wasn't looking at him, no Osiris was. He tensed further as Osiris' gravely voice filled the room, "Is my servant aching for his master?"

Daniel nervously downcast his eyes knowing he was lying as he whispered, "No My Lord."

"Hmm I sense you are not being completely truthful with me, Daniel."

He tensed hissing as her hand slid down to his groin and cupped gently over his own. He felt his face heating up as an embarrassing flush washed across it when he realized that he was gripping himself. Oh God, when had he done that? When had he moved his hand down to his groin? When had he started gripping himself like some cheap wanton whore? When?

He kept his gaze trained on the bed refusing to look at her. He wanted nothing more than to remove his hand from his middle but as he attempted to do so Osiris pressed down harder pinning his hand in place. He inhaled shakily nervously slipping his tongue out to wet his bottom lip. When Osiris released a soft purr he realized his mistake and clamped his mouth shut focusing on remaining perfectly still.

As Osiris drawled in Sarah's silky seductive voice, "Tell me to whom do you belong beloved and I will grant you your pleasure. To whom do you belong?" He wanted nothing more than to say that he was his but managed to stall his response in his throat.

Osiris seemed disappointed with his silence and continued in a soft sultry voice, "Very well my precious one. You will remain desperately hungry for your lord's touch upon your body. You will remain very aroused but unsatisfied for I will not grant you pleasure until you tell me to whom you belong. Is that understood?"

Daniel released a soft whimper and cursed himself as it laughed huskily before continuing, "By denying you your need for orgasm you will quickly learn what you are and to whom you belong. You will attend me while your manhood aches for my touch, for my mouth upon it. You will remain aroused but unsatisfied. I would think long and hard about that my pet or you may find yourself shuffling behind your master as you try to resist cupping yourself and rubbing yourself in public. I want you to feel that metal now lying beneath your hand and I want you to think of how tightly confined your beautiful penis is. I want you to notice that though you grip yourself now you still cannot feel your hand for you are a servant and slave. Slaves do not have the right to please themselves or orgasm. Slaves do not receive pleasure unless their master grants it to them. I suggest you remember that as you attend me while feeling extremely...horny? Yes I believe that is the word horny, yes as you remain extremely horny for your master. Pleasure is earned not given freely. You earn pleasure, love. Now go bathe. Then report to My'la..."

"But Master please..."

Osiris' wicked grin broadened into a smile as Daniel addressed him as master while speaking in a tone of voice that closely resembled begging. He decided to humor his slave by asking, "Yes my precious one? Is there perhaps something you wish to say?"

"Master I..."

Daniel clamped his mouth shut as he realized he was prepared to beg. He was so damned close to begging Osiris to pleasure him that he felt ill and outraged with himself and again found himself asking those troubling questions: why? Why had he allowed Osiris to use him so often? Why did he allow Osiris to degrade him like he now was? Why did he allow Osiris the power to humiliate and embarrass him? Why did he allow Osiris to become aggressive with him in bed? Why? Why? WHY?

He shook his head in self-disgust. He hated what he now was, what he allowed Osiris to make him into. He hated his promiscuity and his need, his hunger...hated how he needed to be pleased by his master, needed to beg to be granted pleasure...needed to tell his lord that he belonged to him, only to him in order to receive his pleasure.

He clenched his eyes shut feeling ash in his mouth as he bitterly said, "I belong to you, My Master."

Osiris chuckled as he ran the fingers of his free hand back through Daniel's hair earning himself one of the man's delicious moans that effectively heated him up further. He huskily replied, "And so you do, my precious slave, so you do."

His hatred and his self-loathing continued to build as Osiris unlocked his groin then proceeded to caress his dick. Even as he moaned and thrust into that hand, even as he began to softly plead for fulfillment and allow that hand to pump him, even as he grew hard instantly and felt insurmountable pleasure, even as he screamed in bliss as he came powerfully spurting into the air and panting Jack's name over and over again as Osiris began to clean him with his tongue, even as immense euphoria and satiated bliss filled him he could feel his hatred for himself, his disgust with himself, his anger and rage at himself increase and as Osiris finished licking him clean he felt the first onslaught of tears fall down across his soft cheeks and quickly turned his face into his pillow hiding from view the tears of shame and disgrace he finally allowed to flow from his master's eyes.

Osiris pressed a kiss to Daniel's head before whispering, "Thank you Daniel," then rising and exiting the room. He didn't even realize that Daniel was upset but Sarah sensed that he was and knew that she would have to keep a closer eye on Daniel from now on.

He remained in the bed keeping his face buried in the pillow feeling relieved when he heard Osiris leaving. He then surrendered completely to his guilt and allowed more tears to flow. He felt so ashamed, so dirty and so used. My God, he had surrendered. He had told Osiris he owned him. God, he...how could he do that? He had again surrendered and again was left feeling extremely violated. He felt like he had been raped again. Raped? God no! Was that what this was? Rape? Had Osiris...? No, no...NO!

He felt terrified and filthy. He suddenly recalled feeling like this after...after Hathor. God he had been...he had been...by Osiris...again. He felt suddenly ill and dizzy. Did Osiris...was...had he been...no, no he wasn't, not again. No, please no! He couldn't handle that. No he hadn't been...raped he was just...he just...NO!

He drew his legs up to his chest and clutched the pillow to his body folding into a fetal position as his fear and shame continued to eat away at him. He had no idea how long he remained curled up on the mattress. In fact he didn't even hear anyone entering only jumping and shrieking when a gentle hand touched his shoulder. Her soft voice filled his head urging him to comply with her order, "Daniel, come. You must rise and bathe for our lord grows impatient and will soon seek you out. Come, please."

As he raised his face to hers he heard her gasp then suddenly found himself wrapped in loving arms and being comforted. He listened to her as she spoke softly and soothingly telling him that he was all right now and that Osiris would not be back for at least an hour. She told him to let go...if he needed to cry or talk she was there to listen. She assured him that Zeenan would keep Osiris busy for sometime and as they sat there together with her speaking softly to him and comforting him he felt himself daring to trust her again. They remained there for some time before Daniel pulled away and said, "Thank you My'la."

She smiled before cupping his cheek in her hand and saying, "I do not know what our lord has done to you to make you so sad, but I am here for you."

"I...I can't... I can't talk about it My'la. I just..."

She pressed a finger across his lips hushing him before saying, "I do not expect you to, Daniel. I am happy just to be able to offer you comfort. I am happy to provide such a need for you."

"Thank...thank you."

"You are most welcome... Are you...would you...uh..."

"Yes, I'm ready to bathe now."

She sighed in relief before offering, "Would you like some company?"

As Daniel blushed she quickly replied, "to the bathhouse Daniel. I would like to walk with you to the bathhouse."

"Oh...uh, su...sure. Thank...thank you."

"Come let us go then."

"Yes let's go."

She offered her hand and Daniel accepted it. Together they walked to the bathhouse where Daniel began his bath and My'la checked on him occasionally to make certain that he was all right. She knew that he needed time alone so she granted it to him.

* * * * * * * *

Jack O'Neill entered his home wanting nothing more than to settle down by the fire and hold his lover in his arms. He loved the times he and Daniel would just sit on the floor before the fireplace. He would hold him close and they'd just talk. They'd talk about all kinds of things from work, to sports, to books... They would sometimes talk for hours on end just enjoying the comfortable banters and being able to spend time with one another. He loved the feel of Daniel curled up against him sighing in content. He loved the way Daniel would speak while drawing invisible circles on his arms or would press his head to his chest to listen to his heart beating. He loved the sound of Daniel's soft, sultry voice, the way he laughed and the unlimited shows of affection he would offer so willingly. Daniel called it cuddling. Cuddling...time spent together relaxing and just enjoying each other's company. It was those times he'd feel so close to his vibrant lover, so very close. God how he missed that, missed hearing Daniel's voice, missed smelling his hair and touching him. How he missed holding the man in his arms as together they'd gaze into the fire both sure in their love for each other. Those were very precious moments to him and those were the things he missed the most: their intimacy, their love...being together and spending time together. God, he missed Daniel so much that it hurt. Daniel's absence in his life was destroying him. He needed Daniel just to breathe. He relied on Daniel to be his rock, his supporter, through all things and now...now he was gone from his life and he found it so very difficult to keep on living without him.

He gazed over at his fireplace noticing that it looked cold, dark and dreary. There was no fire in the hearth; no wood stacked high, no flames dancing and flickering, no warmth at all. The fireplace was cold and bleak now, a shell of its former self. Everything was like that now. There was no life, no joy, no pleasure, no peace, no calm, nothing... There was nothing but silence and emptiness where warmth and love once thrived because all that vanished the moment Daniel Jackson was taken from him.

He sighed feeling tears threatening to fall and sniffed them back. He gazed around the house still seeing traces of the man who once made life so bright and so wonderful. He hadn't moved a thing of Danny's finding that he needed those subtle reminders of his lover just to stay sane. A book opened here, a chess board set up in the corner of a game still in play, an extra pair of glasses lying on the coffee table, coffee sitting on the shelf...Daniel's favorite mug sitting right where he left it still half full and as cold as his life now was. Evidence, all of it evidence that Daniel had once lived here, still lived here though he was gone. He kept everything of Daniel's where it was afraid that if he moved any of it he'd forget everything he and Daniel shared including the tons of wonderful memories they shared together. He couldn't lose those memories for they were the only things remaining that was managing to keep him somewhat sane in his otherwise chaotic, miserable life.

He forced his eyes away from the fireplace making him self walk into the kitchen and continue his daily routine... He started a pot of coffee, Daniel's favorite brew, even knowing that most of it would remain untouched. Then he set to work making dinner...for two people. He made himself set the table for one but found that it hurt too much to see just one setting so again he found himself making a second setting for Daniel. After he was satisfied with that he moved into the living room determined to make a fire but as that gloomy fireplace came into view an overwhelming sense of hopelessness and despair gripped him sending him turning violently away only to drop onto his couch with a loud thump. The moment he was on the couch he was dropping his face into his hands trying to wipe haphazardly at the tears now glistening on his cheeks. It was too much! It was all too much...ah, Daniel, Daniel my love...I need you so much...need you, love you...

He tried to stall his thoughts but soon found his mind consumed with images, images and memories of times past spent with Daniel in this very room. He shook his head as his thoughts sent him back in time to right before he disappeared on that fateful mission...

"...What do you mean you don't know, Jack?"

"I mean I don't know..."

"Ah come on..."

"Danny..."

"Jack."

"How about you and I..."

Jack lowered his face to nuzzle Daniel's neck inhaling his heavenly scent before carefully planting several dainty kisses across that beautiful column of skin now exposed to him. Daniel moaned against him automatically cocking his head to the side to offer him more of his vulnerable throat. He immediately accepted that offering moving from kissing that lovely hollow to nipping and licking. He chuckled huskily and tightened his hold on Daniel as the man released another moan of joy to the air around them. He pressed feathery light kisses up across Daniel's neck moving to his ear where he blew across it before whispering, "Hmm how about we...head up to bed now, love?"

"Mmm... Sounds like a good plan, Jack."

"Oh yeah..."

"Mmm Jaaack..."

He snickered as he slowly moved his right hand down to Daniel's groin growling as he gently cupped his lover in his hand. He squeezed ever so slightly before whispering in a choked harsh breathless voice, "Mmm yeah... Yeah...thought you'd like that..."

“Jack oh...mmm, Jack...take me to bed now...please."

Jack answered that request by rubbing his hand lightly across the obviously hard bulge now present in Daniel's pants. Daniel responded instantly thrusting his hips upwards moaning sensuously before dropping his head lazily back against Jack's shoulder. He smiled as soft tendrils of Daniel's silky hair tickled his cheek and couldn't resist inhaling the pleasant scent of shampoo still clinging to it. As Daniel thrust up into him again he could feel his own groin answering Daniel's call by hardening further...oh yeah the bedroom it was!

He shook his head as the images continued casting him to that evening when they'd made love for the last time. It had been the last time before...before his...before he became lost to him. The last evening they spent together before that final mission. He could still remember that evening so clearly. Daniel had been wonderful taking his time as they made love slowly. Daniel had carefully licked and kissed every inch of his body. He had been determined to please him beyond all imagination. As he had made his careful exploration Jack remembered feeling so damned lucky to have Daniel in his life. He felt as if he were on top of the world that evening knowing that he was blessed. He had been so happy but now, now... There was no longer room for happiness in his life for without Daniel Jackson there by his side everything became so much harder to face. He had to lock away all of his emotions while at work to convince everyone that he was fine and he was very good at doing just that but now...now here at home...

He jerked his head up as the ringing of his phone drew his attention. He gazed at it in awe as if he had never seen a telephone before and listened to it ringing several times before reaching out to grab it feeling the slightest bit of hope that this could be the call, this could be the call saying that Daniel was back. Oh God if only that were the truth! He felt his heart leaping into his throat and became suddenly very anxious praying that this call had something to do with Daniel but as a feminine voice spoke on the other end his hope died and all he could manage was a mumbled, "Oh hi Sam..."

He lowered his head staring at the floor as she spoke in a voice lined with concern asking him, inviting him to go out with her and Teal'c. They planned to go get a bite to eat and wanted him to come along. He shook his head before providing her with his verbal refusal, "Uh, no thanks, not tonight. I...I can't do it tonight."

He heard her voice move into that persuasive tone she often used when she wanted to change his mind... "Come with us, Jack. Please. It'll be fun and we can..."

"No, no Sam I...I can't..."

"Jack you have to..."

"No, no Sam I don't have to DO anything. I said no. I can't. I have plans."

"What kind of plans?"

"Well you know...plans."

"Let me guess. You're going to sit around the house staring at Daniel's picture all evening then try to get some sleep only to wake up in the middle of the night as you dream of him being torn from your arms again..."

He was becoming angry with her, angry and impatient. He hated the fact that Sam knew exactly how he was feeling and exactly how he was dealing with Daniel's absence; how could she know that he had no plans? How could she know that he couldn't sleep and that he would often stare at pictures of Daniel or lay in bed for hours running his hand across that cold empty space beside him where Daniel should be resting? How could she know that he spent most of his time at home walking around as if in a fog? How could she know all that?

He shook his head as he again repeated the same excuse "I can't tonight, Sam, I have things to do maybe...maybe another day."

"You can't keep doing this to yourself, sir. You have got to move on with your life. Daniel wouldn't want you locking yourself up and withdrawing into yourself. Jack just think how he would feel if he were to learn that while he was MIA you spent all your time moping about instead of trying to move on with your life. He wouldn't want you to spend so much time alone. Daniel would want you to be happy... correction Daniel WANTS you to be happy and wants you to be with your friends. Sir, come to dinner with Teal'c and I. We can talk or just relax, play a few games of pool or something... Please sir, you need this as much as we do. Come with us tonight."

"No, I can't. I'm busy. Sorry..."

"Sir..."

"I'm sorry Carter, but no. You and Teal'c go have a good time. I'll be fine. Go out and eat. Have some fun."

"Sir..."

"Good bye Carter."

"Sir don't do this..."

"Good bye Carter."

Then he hung up the phone before she could say anything else. Almost instantly his phone began to ring again and this time, this time, he left the answering machine pick it up knowing that Carter was on the other end and was hoping to somehow persuade him to join them for supper. He couldn't do that. He needed to be here, needed to be home just in case, just in case... In case what? Just in case they called and had more information... He needed to be here. Here was where he belonged surrounded by Daniel's things and having only their memories to keep him company.

SORROW AND DESPAIR

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