PART 1: Desperate Measures
College campuses were always the same no matter where you went or what state you were in. They had multiple buildings interwoven with grassy mounds, park benches, sidewalks and playing fields. They were almost always packed with people. Some people were in a rush, while others walked slowly along chatting amicably with their friends. On the benches and bits of grass patches scattered across the campus grounds were people with books and papers. Some were sitting on those benches and others were sprawled out on the grass either trying to study, catch up on a little sleep or waiting patiently for their next class to start. He usually liked to sit back and just watch but today was not one of those days. Today he was on an important mission, and he had to keep busy. Time wasn’t on his side and if he couldn’t find the one he came to speak with then more of that precious time would go to waste, quickly fading along with any hope he had.
He had to go to the main office and inquire about schedules,
but finding his way there was a challenge unto itself.
He had been here countless times before keeping a wayward eye on his youngest while remaining “hidden”. He had never once stopped at the main office though. He didn’t want word to get to his son that he had even been there. He’d rather the boy just assume he didn’t care and was still bitter after their last fight. It was foolish really but if he wanted a different life, a normal life, so badly then he’d have to give it to him. He had no choice in the matter, though it was the most difficult choice he had ever made, and he was still extremely angry about it.
Shaking his head he silenced his thoughts as he climbed out of the cab of his truck and made his way to the building marked “Admissions.” Here he was certain he’d get his answers and be one step closer to finding both of his children. As that cryptic electronic message echoed in his mind he shook his head, silencing it once and for all knowing that the only way now to get them both back was to surrender to the necessity that he needed his youngest to help in the search for his oldest. First though he had to find out just where his youngest was.
Once inside the Admissions office he wasn’t sure what to say or how to approach. How did you request a student’s class schedule? He’d have to tell them it was an emergency and show them his ID, his real ID, which made him very nervous. He hesitated, his steps faltering, before he shook his head and approached the counter.
At first they refused to help him until he told them it was an emergency, and he had to get in contact with someone immediately. When the secretary at the main desk still didn’t look convinced he turned on his charm and managed to finagle what he wanted right out from under her. He smiled at his victory as he made his way to his vehicle quickly climbing inside, reading through the class schedule and referencing the campus map to locate the building he needed to be at. Once to his destination he settled in his seat contemplating just how to approach the one he needed to speak with.
Watching the double doors before him intently proved to be quite the challenge, especially when he had already spent a good fifteen minutes simply waiting. The urgency of his mission had him nervously tapping the steering wheel as he slouched further down in the seat. He was fast growing impatient debating whether he should just charge into the building or stay where he was. Uncertain of what kind of reaction he would get if he chose the former he settled on the latter and remained where he was once again centering his gaze on the double doors. Each time the doors swung open he sat up straighter and stared intently scanning the face or faces of those who were exiting the building. He’d start to feel anxious and nervous wondering what he was going to say, had planned to say before his shoulders would slump and he’d lean back in his seat again. For what must be the hundredth time he checked the schedule in his hands, checked the time on the paper then on his watch and checked the name of the building. Shaking his head and grumbling in frustration he glanced again at the title of the class Bi Sci 002 and wondered what the hell that had to do with becoming a lawyer?
Movement at the doors drew his attention yet again, and he instantly sat up this time leaning forward in his seat as he spotted a brown haired young man racing out the door. Certain he had found the one he was seeking his heart lodged in his throat but as soon as the boy turned around he sighed in frustration and settled again. Not who he wanted to see, damn it! Where the hell was Sam?
His mind started running amuck as he tried to figure out just where his youngest son was. He needed to see him, to speak with him NOW. Where the hell was he? It would be just like that boy not to be where he was supposed to be. Shaking his head he ran a hand down over his face as he started to wonder, not for the first time, if Sam had been sick and didn’t go to class today. Had he maybe overslept? Was he out to lunch?
His thoughts fell silent as he spotted the one he had been waiting anxiously for. Finally! He shifted his hand already on the door handle as he prepared to jump out and greet him but when his son turned back towards the door he had just exited a broad smile stretched across his face he waited. He spotted the pretty petite blonde almost immediately and watched as she gave Sam a quick peck on the cheek before taking his hand in hers. He knew who she was. Her name was Jessica Moore and she was Sam’s girlfriend. He had looked into her. She came from a wealthy family, and she was smart, had graduated head of her class with honors. He knew her name, her date of birth, where her parents lived. He probably knew more about her than Sam did… It wasn’t the first time he sat in the shadows and watched his youngest son from afar. He had been doing it since Sam had left them, so had Dean. Neither he nor his eldest son ever announced that they were near. They only checked on him to make sure he was all right with his “normal” life.
As Sam and Jessica turned and headed away from him he found himself shaking his head in regret. Dean should have had that too, a chance at a normal life, a chance to go to college, meet a girl and get married but he never got it and probably never would. What Dean did was the same thing he always had he made sure that Sammy’s dreams came true, but while Sammy’s dreams became reality Dean’s faded and died turning into ash. Hanging his head he felt such remorse and asked him self for what now must be the thousandth time just what he had done to his children. Pushing those thoughts away he forced himself to focus on the here and now, on what was important right now. Lifting his head he was surprised to see that Sam and his girlfriend were gone. Shit! Now he’d have to drive to their apartment, which was something he really didn’t want to do.
Once there he remained in the truck just staring stupidly at the building knowing he had to speak with his youngest son but unable to make his body obey the command. As he thought of his eldest son he quickly cursed and forced himself up. Climbing out of the truck he loudly slammed the door his mind on just how in the hell he was intending to approach and speak with a son he had told ages ago to never come back. Closing his eyes he drummed up enough courage to begin his approach hovering on the porch for longer than necessary before finally knocking.
Unsure of what to expect he drew in a calming breath and waited. When the door began to open inward he felt his breath hitch and managed to glance up hoping that he didn’t see anger and rage in the eyes of his youngest and caught off guard when his eyes settled on the softer blue ones of his son’s girlfriend. Swallowing past the lump that seemed to now be permanently lodged in his throat he smiled before muttering, “Uh Sam here?”
She didn’t respond at first only stared at him in surprise and wonder before scanning him then answering, “Who…who are you?”
“I’m Sam’s… I need to see him. Can I speak with him? Please?”
She hesitated before cocking her head to the left squinting at him as if to see him clearer before her mouth formed a soft “oh” that had him embarrassingly casting his eyes downwards. Several long moments passed before he managed to lift his head again and focus on her noticing that she was starting to close the door. He quickly drew his hand up and stopped the door mid-way his voice taking on a softer edge as he implored, “Please I need to speak with him.”
“I don’t… I don’t think that’s wise. Sam is...”
“Tell him it’s about Dean.”
“Dean?”
The surprise on his face must have shown for she had the decency to look away. Didn’t she know that Sam had a brother? What the hell? Sam had said he wanted to break away from the family but that sure as hell didn’t mean to go so far as to deny that you even had a family, “What the fuck, Sam…”
Catching the surprise and weariness in her eyes he realized that he had spoken those words aloud, softly, but aloud just the same and from her expression she most likely had heard them all. Shaking his head, aware that he was fast losing his chance to see his son, he focused on her gentling his voice and speaking louder as he said, “Tell him it’s about his brother.”
She hesitated again before nodding and inviting him in. He followed her to the kitchen where Sam was working. She said his name and as he turned the smile on his face abruptly disappeared to be replaced with a scowl as Sam coldly snapped, “What do you want?”
“I need to speak with you.”
“Didn’t we do enough of that already?”
“Sammy…”
“It’s Sam and I suggest you get the hell out of here. I have a knife and I damned well know how to use it, so get the fuck out.”
“Hey mouth!”
His immediate response was to lift his head, jut his chin out defiantly and grind his teeth as anger shined brightly in his eyes. He glowered before ordering, “Get out of our home, dad. You’re not wanted here.”
“Son this isn’t about me. It’s about your brother. He…”
“Oh what, he go and get himself lost or something?”
Anger quickly flared within John as he snapped, “Don’t talk about your brother that way! He damned well raised you, boy, and it wasn’t to be a non-caring asshole!”
Ignoring the comment he fired back a question emphasizing each word as he demanded, “Why are you here, dad? You made it perfectly clear you didn’t want to ever see me again.”
“Sam, your brother…”
His tone softened becoming strained as he read the tension in his father’s eyes and body that had him prodding, “What dad? What’s wrong with Dean?”
“He is missing, son, that’s why I’m here. I…I need your help to find him.”
He watched as a multitude of expressions crossed his youngest son’s face and was relieved to see worry and concern among the most recognizable. He had been afraid that when he told Sam to never return that he had permanently severed the tight bond that had formed between his two sons so many years ago. He hadn’t been certain that Sam would even care. When those expressions warred for placement upon his youngest son’s face he breathed a small sigh of relief and thanked whoever was listening that Sam still cared.
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