When the Levee Breaks
By: sorrel_rowan
CATEGORY: Drama
WARNINGS: None
SEASON/SPOILERS: Season 10. “Momento Mori”
AUTHOR’S NOTES: Set after Memento Mori, so spoilers throughout until then. Can be seen as tying in with or prequel to my other story, ‘Domino Motion’ – I use the same Vala back-story.
The problem with restoring someone’s memory is they have to
remember it all. One thing bugged me about Memento Mori in the last scene. It
made no sense for me, if Vala had only just gotten
her memory restored, that the others hadn’t been with her through it. It seemed
more like a check up when Daniel asks what Dr. Lam said. So there’s a rather
large missing chunk that I’m exploiting. Also, I haven’t seen the ep with the device
AUTHOR’S WEBSITE:
http://www.fanfiction.net/~sorrelrowan
“You want your
independence,
But you won’t let me
let you go,
You want to test the
waters,
And leave it on the
empty shores.
But I’ll take my time
if you want to,
And I’ll give you
whatever you need,
And I’ll wait a
lifetime to give into you.”
- Jackson Waters, ‘Centre of Attention’
He’d suspected it, but never been sure. She had a way of shifting her character – or at least shifting the character other people saw. It’d taken him a long time to get a hold of who she really was.
The optimist in him had been burned on the Prometheus, accepting that she wanted to save her people to find her selling the ship. So clearly, being a bit of a textbook case himself, he’d damned her as the worst version of herself when she’d come knocking again and ignored the little signs of something less wicked and self-centred.
“Good thing you know
your Ancient proverbs,” She quipped, then met his eyes and her expression
drained of hilarity. “Mitchell.”
“Teal’c,”
Daniel replied, realising suddenly. He ran from the
room.
Then later, “That
thing is going to kill him,” Her
voice surprisingly concerned for someone he assumed she was using for treasure.
And then she’d done something that had annoyed him more than anything else.
She’d been willing to die to save them.
“Vala!”
He’d shouted insistently into the radio, sharing a ‘what now?’ look with
Mitchell. “What are you doing?” He added in a long-suffering tone.
“Someone had to do something, Daniel,” He heard her voice reply
distractedly, “And you wouldn’t listen.”
“Vala,
there’s going to be a significant blast wave,” Sam said, glancing in his
direction. “The cargo ship won’t survive.”
“I’m counting on it,”
She responded flippantly. “I’ll ring back before it hits and you can all thank
me immensely.”
The next few minutes
were tense, all activity on the bridge stopping as all eyes fixed on the sensor
diagram.
“She’s running out of
time,” Sam said in a low voice, watching her console.
Daniel stared at the
console as he heard cheering on the bridge. “Did Vala
make it back it back on board?” He asked a tech.
“Negative, sir,” The
younger man responded slowly.
Daniel put the cold
feeling in his stomach down to the lingering effect of the bracelets as he felt
his eyes close of their own will.
After that, he had had no idea what to think, no box he could put her in and move on. Because he’d known she was alive before Sam had said it was possible. Whatever tenuous connection was there, just instinct or maybe even denial, but he’d known she was still out there. As far as people went, she reminded him of a limpet. He’d known he wasn’t getting away from her that easily.
He denied it for a long time, but memories kept intruding at inconvenient moments until he’d accepted it.
“…People from two
different planets beating you at your own silly game,” She’d said with a smirk,
expression open and teasing.
“This silly game’s not
over yet,” He’d shot back.
“That’s my wing man,”
Mitchell had put in, tossing him the ball.
“You need a new wing
man,” She’d retorted, words directed at Mitchell but eyes on Daniel’s.
He’d found himself
unconsciously returning her smile and playing up to it. “I’m so going to kick
your ass.”
“Promises, promises …”
She’d retorted with that same guileless grin.
He’d admitted he hadn’t hated her, that he’d even enjoyed her company on occasions. And that if he could, he’d have saved her.
But of all the versions, all the shifts in her he’d witnessed, this was the strangest one. They were in the back of the people carrier they’d taken to the police station and he had the feeling he was seeing something new.
It was another little twist he found interesting, another parallel between them that he didn’t expect. Of everyone on the base, he was possibly the only one who could understand the way she was determined to carry on despite having no memory of why.
He knew because he’d been there, sitting in a tent and wondering why everything felt smaller than he was used to. He’d heard someone tell him he was wonderful, brilliant, kind and desperately wanted to believe it but afraid he’d find himself falling short.
“You were the kind of person who’d be willing to give their life for someone you’d never even met,” Sam had said. In an unexpected way that same statement applied for Vala, only Daniel was willing to bet she’d heard it less often. And he’d only heard it once.
He’d had all the thoughts he could see across her eyes now, about who he could be or what he could have done. He knew the driving need to find something – a foothold to believe what they were telling you about yourself, to believe you might just get it all back sometime soon and fit where they assumed you did.
Daniel looked at the hand she’d claimed and then at her face, eyes wide and expression drawn as she stared out of the window.
“I called ahead,” Sam said softly from the other side of the car. “We can skip the security checks and go straight to the infirmary.”
Daniel nodded and found himself squeezing her hand.
* * * *
Vala stumbled as she stood, unsure of her feet. She looked around the room at the expectant faces and sat down again.
“Am I supposed to feel different?” She asked. “Because I don’t recognise you anymore that I did before.”
Dr. Lam looked at her, tilting her head thoughtfully. “You know, this isn’t something we’ve done much experimenting with. It may take longer or shorter periods to kick in depending on the person or-”
They waited.
“Or what?” Vala asked, looking worried.
“Oh, it’s nothing,” Lam said. “I was just thinking about the research from Area 51. It doesn’t matter.”
“Area 51’s real?!” Vala asked, looking between them excitedly.
Sam shared a look with Daniel and helped Vala stand up. “Why don’t we get you a change of clothes?”
Vala looked at them. “Oh no,
you’re not just going to leave that
lying. Is it really in
“Kid at Christmas,” Mitchell said, shaking his head with an amused look. “How did you hear about Area 51?”
“I watched X-Files reruns at Sol’s,” Vala answered before looking at Sam again and tugging her sleeve insistently. “Do they have real aliens?”
They heard her pelting Sam with questions about Area 51 as she led her to her quarters.
“I find it deeply ironic she’s asking if aliens are really real,” Mitchell commented with a small smile.
Daniel shared a smile with Mitchell before turning to Dr. Lam. “So what didn’t you tell her?”
She looked at him, her wry grin saying she knew he’d pick up on it. Turning sober, she explained, “I think it all depends on how much she wants to remember. So while it was easy the last time,” She looked at Mitchell, “It might be more difficult for Vala, because on some level her mind wanted to suppress some of her memories. Dredging them back up won’t be easy or pleasant.”
“So while we think of it as restoring her memory, for her it’s almost a case of reliving it,” Daniel said slowly. “And it’s not all roses in her past. We don’t know everything, but we know that much.”
“Sha’re,”
He had said to Teal’c, pacing excitedly as he sat on
the floor in some form of meditation. “I remembered that by myself. I fell
asleep, I dreamed about her and when I woke up, I knew her name.”
And then later he realised, “She’s dead, isn’t she?”
The friend he couldn’t
remember having yet inclined his head with a sadness in his eyes.
It hit him – the
sensations of it in a compressed bundle, a physical blow to the very pit of his
stomach. Memories he couldn’t quite grasp yet flew past in a haze, from
giddiness, nervousness, happiness through to aching, almost unbearable numbness
and pain. He didn’t have the precise memories yet, the exact recollection, but
he had an impression of sleepless nights and tears. Two images grabbed him –
dark eyes staring into his own, and then standing by an open grave with a
shrouded body, people in uniform around him.
“I loved her,” He had
said slowly, suddenly unsure about what his memories held.
“What do we do?” Landry asked Dr. Lam.
Lam looked at Daniel. “I’m a little out of my normal area here,” She admitted, “But I’d suggest treating her as normally as possible, obviously allowing for what she doesn’t know.”
“So include her in briefings and meetings?” Landry asked.
“I’d say so,” Daniel answered. “When I lost my memory it brought it back faster to be around things that were in some way familiar.”
* * * *
It was another one of those strange echoes, having Vala around him constantly in the next few days. But since this time her presence wasn’t actually her fault and he wasn’t supposed to be in Atlantis, he had a little more patience. It helped that they could see other people without keeling over.
They never talked about it explicitly and she didn’t spend every minute with him. She simply sat in his office and asked questions. He answered as best he could, often surprised by how close her insights struck.
“We’ve been working on
something at Area 51 that General O’Neill thinks will work,” Sam had said,
standing in front of the planet grid.
“But you don’t,” Vala had put in, serious for once.
Sam had hesitated, as
if surprised by the source of the comment. “I agree that we need to do
something,” She’d answered, “I’m just not sure it’ll be enough.”
“Daniel,” her voice broke into his thoughts. He looked at her. “What’re you thinking about?”
“Huh?” Daniel asked, feeling eloquent. “Oh, uh … this. Work.” He picked up the first page that came to hand, waving it in her direction.
“Must be interesting,” She replied, taking the bait and grabbing it from him in mid air with a triumphant little smile. “I had to say your name about three times.” Vala squinted at the page, running a fingertip along something on the page.
“Familiar?” Daniel asked quietly, wondering what the page he’d picked up was. His desk was a mess since he’d spent the previous three weeks researching and trying to find anything about Vala’s disappearance.
She nodded and sat it down, seeming pre-occupied. Shaking it off, she smiled at him and jumped off of the desk. “It’ll come. I know it, somehow, but it’ll come. Be nice to remember something, actually. Reassuring.”
He smiled and nodded as she said she had sparring practice with Teal’c and left. Picking up the page, he felt his smile fade.
“It’ll come. I know it. Be nice, actually,” her voice repeated in his mind as he stared at the page. He’d known intellectually this would come, but somehow that didn’t make him feel better.
* * * *
A small knock on his door woke him. The SGC kept quarters open for him and if he were honest, he spent more time in them than at his apartment. Pulling on a t-shirt, he answered the door.
“Vala,” he said sleepily. “Come in.”
She was wearing a pair of loose grey trousers and a black vest top, her hair loose and slightly unkempt.
She sat the picture down on his table.
“How did you-?” Daniel asked, putting on his glasses.
“Nice guard on my door. Picking pockets,” Vala answered distractedly. “That I remember.”
“Do you remem-?” He began when she interrupted him again.
“Canopic jar. Some form of electro-analysis of,” She answered.
“That’s good. Specific.,” Daniel said cautiously.
“It says it on the page – the caption,” Vala replied with a rueful smile. She sat on a chair, elbows on her knees.
“But you remember something,” Daniel said. “Or else you wouldn’t have gone to get this.”
“I was thinking about it before I fell asleep,” she replied slowly. “And then I had a dream. I was going to say a ‘strange’ dream, but this place is making me re-evaluate how often I should use the word.”
“Do you want to tell me about it?” Daniel asked carefully, sitting cross-legged on the bed.
“Honestly, I’m not entirely sure.” She stood and looked at him. “I don’t remember why, but there’s something in my head saying this isn’t a conversation I should have with you.”
But you came here anyway, Daniel thought, asking, “Do you want to talk about it?”
She looked at him, eyes pained. “Yes.”
“Then why not tell me before you remember why not to,” Daniel suggested.
She nodded and sat cross-legged on the bed opposite him. “I’m in a market, and there’s a commotion by the entrance to the village square. People are kneeling down. A group of men come in. They have things on their forehead like Teal’c does but a different design. And they’re black, not gold. Well, most of them. One man’s is different – it’s gold, like Teal’c’s.”
She took a breath and closed her eyes. “I’m kneeling, too, between a woman and a man that I think … no, she’s not my mother.” The emotion and certainty of her statement took Daniel off-guard. “He’s my father, though. We’re kneeling, and he whispers to me to keep my head down no matter what happens. I can’t remember why but I do it, and I put my hand in the dirt then through my hair, dragging it across my face.”
“Can you remember what age you were?” Daniel asked quietly when she paused.
“I was … sixteen,” She answered quietly, her voice gathering strength again. “I helped them at a stall in the market. Their stall. Another group of men comes into the square, more of the same. But they’re carrying a chair and there’s an old woman sitting on it. She says something, it’s not my language but I understand it. The others split up and start … They start looking at people.”
Vala paused again and this time Daniel stayed silent, allowing her to collect her thoughts. She opened her eyes and looked at him intently. “Those biscuits at the commissary last night, what were they called?”
Daniel tried not to laugh when he made the connection. “
“They’re pronounced differently,” She said thoughtfully. “But jaffa is a type of biscuit or cake and jaf-fah is the name for those men in the market. There’s no link, is there?”
Daniel shook his head and she took a breath as if something had been settled, then looked at him. “Are they cakes or biscuits?”
He thought about it. “I honestly don’t know. They’re served as biscuits.”
“But they have a sponge layer, then a jam layer,” She replied, “So surely cakes.”
“We can google it in the morning but you might be right,” Daniel answered. Vala looked at him and smiled triumphantly, then took a deep breath.
“One of the … jaffa puts a hand under my chin, and it’s cold. He makes me look at him. He shouts something in that language of theirs and jerks me to my feet. He tries to pull me towards the chair, but I won’t go.” Vala closed her eyes and tilted her head with a small smile. “I punch him. It hurts my hand and I hear my father shout something behind me. I look over my shoulder – my… stepmother is whispering quickly into his ear. He stops shouting. I remember feeling… grateful to her, and finding that strange.”
Vala paused again, looking around his quarters. Daniel went to the small fridge and took out a bottle of chilled water. She nodded murmured her thanks as he turned to close the fridge, eyes fixed on the pattern of his quilt.
“Adria,” Vala said softly while his back was turned. “Her name is Adria.”
Daniel froze and turned to Vala, choosing his words very carefully and knowing that particular memory was to come. He also knew it was a question she’d never answer when she remembered, seeing it illogically as a personal failure. “How do you feel? Hearing her name?”
“Strange, as well. Regret, there’s regret there. I think I’ve cried about an Adria. I hear her name and I worry. I don’t think I should, but I can’t help it somehow,” She replied, meeting his eyes. “It’s important, isn’t it? The name?”
“What’s done is done.
Don’t regret the past,” Vala said softly, leaving.
“You’ll just get left behind.”
“She is young for one
who speaks with the wisdom of a warrior,” Bra’tac said,
surprised.
“She’s a mother,”
Daniel replied, smiling slightly. “So close enough.”
Daniel nodded, sitting back down. “Tell me the rest of the dream. You’re remembering things.”
She nodded, pursing her lips. “I… it all goes dark. The last thing I see after I punch the jaffa is the old woman laughing at me and nodding. Her eyes … Her eyes glow,” She looked at Daniel, eyes frightened. “I’m not imagining that, am I? That happened.”
Daniel nodded, “It was real.”
She sighed in relief. “The old woman scares me, but a second later it’s all dark. When I wake up-”
Vala blushed.
Daniel felt his eyes widen. This was most definitely something new.
She looked away from him, cheeks still red. “I’m on a table when I wake up, I’m not sure how long I was out and I’m… I’m naked,” She ducked her head. “It makes me nervous and I’m thinking of a name. A man’s name,” Vala paused. “Maren. I’m thinking-”
Vala blushed again, and Daniel said, “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
She shook her head and kept going. “I’m thinking that he’s the only one who should ever see me naked. And that I should never be naked and not able to move. And then I think about how cold I am. It’s good that I’m remembering thoughts, isn’t it? Names?”
Daniel nodded, wondering if she knew she was stalling. She surprised him further by taking a deep breath and continuing.
“They bring in a jar,” Vala said, voice growing softer and cheeks paler. “It’s like the one in the picture.” She paused again and looked at him, eyes again pained. “You’ll tell me if it’s not real? If I imagine things that didn’t really happen?”
“As far as I can,” Daniel replied earnestly, putting a hand on her wrist.
“They take the top off the jar,” Vala continued, leaning her head forward so that he couldn’t see her face anymore and taking his hand. “And the same creature that showed up in the scan is there, but it’s alive. And it-” Daniel looked at her, knowing that it was becoming difficult and that he couldn’t do anything to make it easier.
“It slides to behind my ear, and it hurts,” Vala continued slowly. “One minute I’m kicking and screaming and I know I am, and the next-”
When she looked away, eyes bright, Daniel knew why this was a conversation he’d never had with her before. Vala’s presence had handed him the opportunity to find out everything he’d ever wanted to know about Sha’re’s ordeal as a host, lay to rest every thought and imagining that had woken him in the early hours. But he’d never asked. He’d told himself it was because Vala shouldn’t have to relive it for his curiosity, but it had really been because he’d been scared of having his worst nightmares confirmed.
“I can’t move,” Her voice is approaching a whisper. “It’s strange but I don’t have anything to move. I can’t think, I can’t breathe – I’m confused and panicking. I’d say it was dark but I couldn’t see. I don’t know how long I spent like that, hovering somewhere and feeling disconnected but I hear her. I hear her voice and she’s taunting me.”
Vala looked up at him, eyes hopeful. “Was that part a dream?”
It hurt Daniel to do it, but he shook his head. She let out a breath and ducked her head.
“I thought not,” She said slowly, “But I- I hoped.”
“What are you aware of next?” Daniel asked, voice quiet.
“Pain,” Vala answered. “She… enjoys it. After a while I hear her thoughts. I even began to live in her memories, seeing what she’d been before me. I learn so much my head should have hurt, about strange technology and what I had thought of as magic. I learn to see through my own eyes again, but only what she looks at. I remember- I remember her going to my village. I remember finding out it was only a week or so since I’d been there. She made it feel like an eternity.”
Daniel let out a breath of his own, realising that he’d been fooling himself with visions of Sha’re hiding in her own mind away from the pain or it not being as bad as he thought. It had been every bit as bad and worse.
“The dream ended not soon after that,” Vala said quietly, “I … I tried to fight her. And I remember fighting her. But I learned when it mattered to fight and I screamed and fought so much that she would occasionally give in just to shut me up. She’d give me pain for it, but it was worth it. And I hid. I found ways to fade away.” She looked at him, eyes hard. “Qetesh. Her name was Qetesh, and she was a goa’uld. Not a system lord but she knew them. I remember what they are.”
“That’s when it finished?” Daniel asked.
Vala nodded. “The last thing I remember is floating… but not since I didn’t have a body. Stupid thing to try and explain.”
Smiling, Daniel replied, “I understand, don’t worry.” Vala yawned and Daniel noticed suddenly how exhausted she looked. “You should try and get some rest,” he said gently.
Vala nodded, standing and heading to the door. “I’m sorry to wake you… and to break into your office.” She even smiled bashfully.
Acting on an impulse, Daniel pulled her close to him and kissed her hair. “Don’t be sorry. And wake me, disturb me or drag me out of meetings whenever you need to.” He said over her head and smiled at her as he took a step back. “Try not to break into my office that much, though. I’d appreciate that.”
“There’s more to come, isn’t there?” She asked, subdued.
Daniel found himself nodding again. “But you have the others and you have me. We can’t help much but we can… we can be here.”
* * * *
“I would wait a
lifetime,
I would wait for you.
I would wait a
lifetime
For you.”
-Jackson Waters, ‘Centre of Attention’
Three days later, Dr. Lam came into his office. Daniel looked at her, frowning slightly and checking his watch.
“Have you seen Vala today?”
“Isn’t she meant to be with you? A check up?” Daniel replied.
Lam nodded. “She’s over an hour late. It’s strange – she’s been on time all this week. I’ve checked her quarters and the mess hall.” She met his eyes. “I didn’t really want to put out a base alert.”
Daniel nodded, understanding. “I’ll have a look in a few other places she might be.”
* * * *
He left Sam’s lab at the end of another hour’s search, where Vala also wasn’t. If he didn’t find her soon, they were going to have no choice but to start a search of the base. Daniel didn’t want to further traumatise Vala by having marines searching every closet for her, making her doubt that she was trusted.
Walking along the corridor, he saw a door ajar and investigated, hearing no noise from inside.
It wasn’t standard practice to leave labs unlocked in the SGC while empty.
Inside, Vala stood at the desk, goa’uld healing and ribbon devices set out in front of her. Beside them were scattered photographs from files. Daniel recognised a collage of goa’uld and Ori technology, ships and faces. She looked at him, eyes wide, and then back to the devices.
Walking over slowly, Daniel cautiously looked at her, noting suddenly that she was very slightly shaking and her knuckles were white from gripping the edge of the desk.
“Vala?”
She let out a shuddering breath, her head dropping. Taking another breath, she met his eyes as tears gathered in her own.
“It’s been getting worse,” Vala said quietly, closing her eyes and holding on to the table as if the world were spinning. “Every morning, I wake up, and I remember seeing more but I…”
Daniel saw watched continue to take deep breaths. “Are you in pain?”
She nodded, wincing. “I understand less,” She admitted softly.
“What do you mean?” Daniel asked.
“I see more, I have more pictures in my head but I- It’s too much,” Vala said with a gasp, voice rising. “There’s too many names and faces and things and numbers… symbols and people and I can’t link them up- it’s all a mess. The things I thought I understood are getting confused.”
“We should go to the infirmary,” Daniel said softly. “Dr. Lam can help with the headache, at the least.”
She nodded, wincing as she let go of the table. Stumbling, Daniel instinctively put an arm around her waist and leaned her slight weight against him. “Why didn’t you tell us it was this bad? Dr. Lam said your check-ups had been fine.”
She smiled slightly, eyes closed. “I was handling it. It was making sense – I thought it maybe had to hurt or something.” Opening her eyes, she summoned a shadow of her old grin. “I remembered kicking your ass, but then you had to go and spoil the moment.”
He tilted his head and narrowed his eyes at her, “Everything we’ve done and that you remember. Great.” Vala smiled and let him help her from the room, his gentle hold on her waist and patient pace incongruous against his brusque tone.
* * * *
The others had arrived outside the infirmary.
“This is what I was afraid of,” Lam said. “I’ve sedated her and given her something for the pain, but I’m honestly not sure what we can do other than let her work through it.”
“But you said she was in a lot of pain,” Mitchell replied. “There’s got to be another way.”
“Why is this happening?” Sam asked. “You said it might be rough on her emotionally, but why the physical effect?”
“It’s more the sheer amount of memory that concerns me,” Lam answered. “The device restores memory to the conscious level. In Vala’s case, that hasn’t just been just her own personal memory. I think we might have triggered an overspill from the suppressed genetic memory of the goa’uld. And they were suppressed or blocked out entirely in the first place for good reason.”
Sam nodded, understanding. “That would be bad enough if it were only Qetesh’s memories, but I’m guessing you mean the whole thing – the memories Qetesh received in her genes in the first place.”
Lam nodded. “Vala’s mind should kick in and suppress them again, and soon, but until then the human mind simply wasn’t built to deal with this much raw information. It isn’t the repository of the Ancients,” She said at their looks of slight panic, “So from the scans we’ve done, it isn’t life-threatening. But it is going to cause her significant pain.”
“She can’t get through it while she’s unconscious?” Daniel asked, eyes on the door to the infirmary.
“I’m way out of my area, but from the calls I’ve made…” Lam said, shaking her head. “If anything, I think that might just mix things up more. Right now, her mind is trying to work through all the memories, which is what we don’t want her to do. She needs to be awake so that her mind realises which ones she needs and uses, then suppresses the rest. Her personal memory is a fraction of the whole.”
“So why sedate her?” Landry put in, frowning slightly
“She can’t do anything if she’s in too much pain to think straight,” Lam replied. “I’m going to bring her back out of it in a few hours. By then, there should be enough drugs in her system to keep the pain down. Not gone, but low enough for her to think. It’s still not going to be easy on her, though.”
“How long until she’s on her feet again?” Landry asked.
“I don’t know,” Lam replied, not used to saying that particular sentence so much. “With the strength of painkillers I’ve got her on and the strain, she’s going to be a bit out of it for a little while, probably sleeping for a few hours at a time and then waking up for a few.”
“What then?” Daniel asked, worried.
“We wait,” Lam said slowly. “And we talk to her. There’s really not a lot else we can do.”
* * * *
A long week later, Daniel sat on a chair next to her bed in the infirmary.
“Daniel?” A soft voice said groggily. Daniel looked up from the page he’d been staring at blankly.
“Still here?” She asked softly. He nodded.
Vala smiled and attempted to sit up. “Well, that was stupid,” She said quietly.
Smiling and standing next to her, Daniel put an arm around Vala’s shoulders and helped her sit up. “How’re you feeling?”
“Remember when I was starving on the Prometheus? And then we hit each other a lot? And then you shot me?” She said, putting a hand to her forehead.
“Yes,” Daniel answered. “I do, actually. And as I said at the time-”
“I know, I know, I hit you first, I shot you first, etc.” She said with a grin, opening her eyes. “It would have been so much better on both of us if we’d just had sex, don’t you think?”
Daniel laughed, surprised, and dodged the question. “You sound more … yourself … than the last time you came around.”
“I think I have most of the last ten or so years back,” Vala said thoughtfully, “And when I was younger. The bit in the middle is still hazy except for a few memorable incidents, but it’s never been particularly clear.”
“That’s not entirely a bad thing, is it?” Daniel said with a small smile.
“No,” Vala answered, “It’s really not. Daniel, I just want to say … thank you. For listening – that can’t have been easy. If I’d known I-”
Daniel looked at her and she fell silent. “Then I’m glad you didn’t remember not to tell me. I needed to hear that as much as you needed to say it. Doors that needed closing.”
“You still love her, don’t you?” Vala asked, lowering her voice slightly.
“I guess, in some ways, I always will,” He said slowly. He continued, a smile slowly forming on his face. “But she’s perfect in my memory. No one can compete with her because then they wouldn’t be real, either.” Vala looked at him, eyes surprised as he raised that in a negative way. “I’ll never fight with Sha’re. She’ll never annoy me or knock me off my perch when I take myself too seriously.”
“Would she have?” Vala asked.
“Oh god, yes,” Daniel replied with a laugh and grin. “She’s
perfect in my memory, but she wasn’t in real life. Everyone else on
Vala remembered Tomin, and earlier, Maren. “I understand that,” She said quietly. “I had a lot of pride before Maren laughed it out of me.”
“What was he like?” Daniel asked softly.
“You thought I was lying when I told you about him the first time, didn’t you?” Vala narrowed her eyes.
“A little,” Daniel replied. At her ‘hmmph’ he protested, “You had just stopped me going to Atlantis, you know.”
“Again,” Vala said, smirking. “And I didn’t even plan it.”
Daniel looked at her.
“I was pretty,” Vala said without ego. “And in my village, that was a bad thing. So most of the other kids wouldn’t talk to me or play with me, but Maren did. Nobody understood why we became friends – he pulled my hair, we ended up rolling in dirt and mud fighting each other most days. We kept arguing when we grew up a bit.”
Daniel handed her the glass of water she couldn’t quite reach.
“But he made me laugh, when he didn’t make me want to kill him,” She continued. “Then a boy didn’t understand the meaning of ‘no’ and managed to leave a bruise on my cheek for the privilege. My father started teaching me to throw a punch, and Maren beat the idiot to within an inch of his life. He turned up on my doorstep, covered in cuts and bruises. Things developed from there.”
“Romantic,” Daniel said, his voice laced with irony.
“Let’s see you do better,” Vala retorted. “How did you and Sha’re meet?”
“She was a gift,” Daniel admitted sheepishly, thinking he’d walked into that like a clear door.
Vala laughed and looked at him disbelievingly.
“No, seriously,” Daniel continued. “The town elders gave her to me. I didn’t understand much ancient Egyptian at the time and managed to insult her by not accepting.”
“I assume you got over that?” Vala asked, arching an eyebrow with a smirk.
He nodded, smiling. “Big drunken party after we overthrew Ra, with lots of people holding me up as a hero and feeding me moonshine.”
“You didn’t,” Vala said, caught up in the story. Realising what she meant, Daniel shook his head.
“Sha’re put me to bed and then
dragged me out of it the next morning,” He explained. “
Vala laughed and ducked her head.
“You know, if I’d known stories would keep you quiet, I’d have told you them a long time ago,” Daniel said slyly.
“In an ideal universe,” Vala said, voice contemplative, look saying that she wasn’t dignifying that with a response, “I’d have lived on my planet and married Maren the way we were planning. He’d have annoyed me into old age and grey hairs. And your Sha’re would have done the same for you, hangovers or no.”
“But we’re here,” Daniel answered, meeting her eyes. “And I think we do a decent job of annoying each other.” He hesitated and smiled. “Hopefully for a long time yet.”
“Someone has to make us take ourselves less seriously, galaxy-saving adventurers that we are,” Vala quipped, nodding. “I know that I feel the weight of the universe upon my slim and shapely shoulders from time to time.”
“But buying things helps, right?” Daniel said, voice ironic. “On my credit card, of course.”
“Are you offering, Daniel?” Vala retorted, eyes brightening. “Because I might take you up on it, you know.”
“What? No, I meant – I was being-” Daniel stammered then saw she was laughing.
Vala patted his hand. “It’s okay,” She reassured him, “I get paid now, remember?” She paused, thoughtful. “But I can’t drive – at least legally – and I don’t think Landry would like me going off base on my own, so you’ll need to bring your car. Since we didn’t have that date after all.”
His relief turned to an icy cold feeling of dread, but for some demented reason his higher brain functions couldn’t fathom he was smiling.
* * * *
“What did Dr. Lam say?” Daniel asked as Vala fixed her jacket and barrelled into his office.
“I’ve been cleared for active duty,” Vala confirmed. She looked at Landry, confused, when he handed her a box.
“A welcome back present,” He said as the others exchanged looks of amusement at the baffled look on her face.
She opened it and for the first time, they saw her speechless.
“These are-” Vala started, looking at them.
“Team badges,” Landry confirmed.
She punched him lightly, seemingly unable to come up with a more complex response as Mitchell and Teal’c put the badges on her uniform. Daniel smiled as Sam congratulated her, Teal’c suggesting they celebrate.
“But that means we can’t conclude our date until next week,” Vala said, looking at him.
A deeply amused silence fell in the room as Daniel saw Sam duck her head with a slow grin, Mitchell looking at him with an ‘oh, really?’ written all over his features and Teal’c raising an eyebrow.
“It wasn’t a date,” Daniel said quickly. “It was two friends and co-workers out for dinner.”
They left slowly, expressions indicating louder than words
that they didn’t believe him in the slightest. Sam’s face in particular
screamed that whether by email, phone line or telegram, this little snippet of
information would find its way to
Daniel considered appropriate bribes.
General Landry stayed behind a moment beyond the others, his blank look suggesting selective deafness.
“It wasn’t a date,” Daniel repeated as he tried to ignore the little voice in his head telling him that maybe next time it should be.
** The End **
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